This one was kind of awkward for me, because Gabe's, you know, a stone statue. And generally, stone statues can't write letters, or read fan fictions, or any of that. But then I was like, well, this IS supposed to be FANfiction, and not completely realistic, so I'm just going to screw the stone-statues-can't-write-thing and write one from his POV, anyways.
Dear Mortals,
Do I look like I would abuse a child?
I assure you I would never do that, despite the fact that that boy deserves to be punched until he pees his pants!
Whatever the little punk has said about me, I assure you that I run a good, honest business (A/N: Good and honest my ass!) and he's a filthy little liar.
If someone did hit the boy, they'd be doing the world a favour.
Later punks,
Gabe