After taking a much-needed nap this morning, Tobias and I made love one last time before saying goodbye to the intimate suite at the top of the lighthouse bed and breakfast that we have come to love so much. We had such a wonderful weekend just the two of us. I couldn't have asked for more. I'm committing every second of our impromptu getaway to mind as we head toward Abnegation, adding them to the already stored memories from our earlier honeymoon.
"Earth to Tris," Tobias says. "Where were you, love?" I can feel heat rise to flood my cheeks as I turn to look at him. He grins and shakes his head. "God, I love that blush. I guess I don't need to ask what you're thinking about."
"I was just thinking about all the wonderful time we spent together at the lighthouse," I say. "We should do that more often."
"I couldn't agree with you more," he says picking up our joined hands off his knee where they've been resting since we left Amity, placing soft kisses on the back of each finger. "I meant what I said earlier about needing to remember to be 'us' once in a while and not just Mommy and Daddy but don't think that I don't love our children. They, along with you, are my life. I never thought I wanted kids until I found you, and now I don't know what I would do without them."
"I know what you mean," I say. "And of course I know you adore the kids just as much as I do." At the mention of Tyler and Tessa, I realize just how much I've been missing them both. Of course, Tobias and I called Mom and Dad daily to check on them while we were gone and talk to Tyler but it's not the same as being with them. I can't wait to wrap my arms around Tyler, give him a big hug and kiss, and tell him how much I've missed him and hold Tessa close and kiss her soft, budding curls. Thankfully, within minutes, we pull up in front of my parents' simple home in Abnegation, and I barely wait for Tobias to stop at the curb before I jump out of the car and hurry up the short gray concrete sidewalk to the front door.
"Hi, Mom," I say when she opens the door to let us in. I give her a big hug, and Tobias places a sweet kiss on her cheek. "Thank you so much for watching the kids for us this weekend. We really appreciate it. I hope they weren't too much trouble."
"They were no trouble at all. We loved having them here," she says. "Tessa is down for her nap, and Tyler is in the front room with your father." Tobias and I walk down the narrow hallway into their living room but surprisingly Tyler doesn't notice our arrival. He's sitting on Dad's lap absorbed in the storybook that he's listening to. I look up over my shoulder at Tobias and see a huge smile on his face as he watches our son who looks very content right now. He wraps his arm around my shoulder, and I reach up and take ahold of his hand. We listen for a few minutes before Tyler looks up and notices us standing here. Disregarding the remainder of the story, he jumps down off of Dad's lap and runs to me. I scoop him up in my arms and hold him close.
"Mommy!" he happily says as he wraps his arms tightly around my neck and squeezes hard, nearly choking me. "I miss you so much."
"I missed you too, buddy," I say as I place kisses all over the side of his face. I stop when he starts wriggling in my arms. "Did you have fun with Grandma and Grandpa?"
"Yeah!" he brightly says but then his face falls slightly. I recognize that face.
"Did you get in trouble while we were gone?" I ask.
"Yeah," he says bowing his head. Oh, that's new. He must have picked that up being around my parents and my old faction. "I wun in the house. I fowget." He sounds so forlorn.
"You need to do a better job of remembering. You know you're not supposed to run in the house. But just because little boys get in trouble doesn't mean their Mommy stops loving them or their Daddy, Grandma, or Grandpa for that matter. It just means we're trying to make you the best little boy you can be. Did you tell Grandma and Grandpa that you were sorry?"
"I did," he says.
"You're such a good boy," I say. "Mommy loves you very, very much."
"Love you, Mommy," he says giving me a sloppy wet kiss right on the mouth then one of his signature bear hugs.
"Guess what, buddy," Tobias says. Tyler looks his way and holds his arms out to him, and I relinquish him to his father who hugs him tightly. "Mommy and I decided on a name for your sister. Would you like to hear what it is?" I see my parents' ears perk up at this news. Tobias and I didn't talk about telling people the name we chose but I'm happy to let them in on the secret.
"You change Tess name?" Tyler asks so confused. I try really hard not to laugh at his statement but a chuckle escapes my lips anyway.
"No, no, buddy," Tobias says with an amused smile on his face. "Tessa will always be Tessa. I'm talking about the baby in Mommy's tummy."
"Oh!" he says. "What hew name?" Tobias sits down on the couch, and I join them.
"Well Daddy and I decided to name her Teagan Grace," I say.
"Tea … gan," Tyler says. He's quiet for a while and none of us say anything, letting this new information sink in. I glance at my Mom who is now sitting in her chair, and she smiles brightly at me.
"So what do you think, buddy?" Tobias asks.
"I like it," he finally says. "It weally pwetty."
"I'm glad you think so," I say.
"It's a beautiful name, Beatrice," Mom says.
"I agree," Dad says. "It sounds really nice alongside Tyler and Tessa."
"Thanks, Mom, Dad," I say. "It was my favorite name this time but Four gave her Grace as a middle name." I hear Tessa start to cry, and I automatically get up then realize I don't know where she's been napping. "Where is she? I'll go get her."
"She's in our room," Mom says with a warm smile.
"Thanks," I say then make my way up the narrow staircase and into my parent's familiar unadorned bedroom. My baby girl is lying in the middle of the travel crib we brought with us when we dropped them off, wailing at the top of her lungs.
"Hey, little one. Are you hungry?" The minute she hears my voice she rolls over onto her back, stops crying, and grins from ear to ear, taking my breath away. "You're a beauty aren't you? Maybe you're not hungry after all. Maybe you're just lonely up here all by yourself. Did you miss your mommy and daddy?" I pick her up, peppering kisses all over her little head the whole time then hold her close to my chest but she just gazes into my face with a grin on her lips. After a couple minutes of just staring at my gorgeous daughter, I check her diaper and quickly change her before taking her downstairs. "Mom, when did Tessa last eat?"
"Oh, almost three hours ago," she says, looking at the clock on the wall. I sit next to Tobias and Tyler, and she smiles at them also.
"Hi, Tess," Tyler says as he leans over and gives her a kiss on the head. She laughs out loud when she sees him coming, and we all freeze. "You laugh at me?" She giggles again and Tobias puts his arm around me and pulls us close to his side.
"Are you happy to see us, Pebbles?" he asks. "Mommy and Daddy sure missed you."
"You miss me, too?" Tyler asks with a pout.
"Of course, we missed you," Tobias says at the same time that I say, "More than you know."
"Has she been laughing like that all weekend?" I ask Mom and Dad, getting misty eyed.
"No, that's the first time she did that," Mom says. Good! I hate missing her firsts. "She's been smiling a lot and cooing some but this is the first time I've heard her laugh."
"She's growing so fast," I say, wiping the tear that escapes down my cheek. "I can't believe she's 10 weeks old already."
"You just wait until she's 17, married, has two kids, and is expecting another one in a few months then you really won't be able to believe it," Dad says, returning my warm smile.
"How are you doing, Dad?" It's only been a little over three weeks since his second head injury and the minimally invasive procedure to fix the leaking aneurysm in his brain, and he's not back to his old self quite yet. He's cranky, forgetful, short tempered, and at times even standoffish, which is totally out of character for him. Dr. Wilson won't let him return to work until Choosing Day where his presence is mandatory due to his seat at the head of the council, and he's been on edge not knowing what to do with himself. Mom hoped that spending some time with the kids would help his outlook, and I think that it might have by the look on his face.
"I'm feeling better each day, Beatrice," he says. "It's been slow going but I'm just glad to still be here."
"We're all happy about that, Andrew," Tobias says. "I hope the kids weren't too much trouble for you. I know Tyler can be a bit rambunctious at times." I see Tyler look at Tobias like, who me?
"They weren't any trouble whatsoever, and it was a pleasure to have them here all weekend," he says. "We would be happy to watch them anytime you want us to. It's nice to have children around the house. It makes me feel young again."
"What are you saying, Andrew, that you're old?" Mom asks. "We're the same age, and I'm not old." He chuckles sounding more like his old self for the first time in weeks.
"You, my dear, look just as lovely as you did the day I married you," he says. "There isn't anything about you that's old but you have to admit that watching Tyler and Tessa brought back some wonderful memories, didn't it?"
"It sure has," she says. The look on both their faces makes it seem like they forgot that Tobias, the kids, and I are sitting here, and I feel like I'm intruding on a private moment.
"I hate to cut this visit short but we better get going," Tobias says, apparently feeling as awkward as I am. "I have several phone calls to make when we get home, and I have to do it before close of business."
"We understand," Dad says.
"Say goodbye to Grandma and Grandpa, Tyler," I say as I get up off the couch. He gets off of Tobias' lap and gives hugs and kisses then comes back to us, remembering not to run. While Mom and Dad help me get the kids into the car, Tobias gathers up the travel crib, bottles, and diaper bag and put them in the trunk.
"Thanks again for watching the kids for us," Tobias says, shaking Dad's hand while I'm hugging my mom. "We really appreciate it."
"We were happy to do it, Four," Mom says. "It's always nice to see our grandkids. Any time you need a sitter please think of us." Tobias, Tyler, and I say our final goodbyes and wave as we pull away from my parent's house, and before we make it out of Abnegation, Tyler and Tessa are both sound asleep.
"Who do you have to call when we get home?" I ask.
"Will, Tori, Harrison, Uriah, and Christina," he says. "I still have a lot to do before next week."
"I thought we were good to go for initiation," I say.
"We are for the most part," he says. "I'll feel more confident after one last meeting with Uriah and Christina finalizing the schedule. I'm also turning the reigns over to Tori and Will because I don't want to pull double duty the next few weeks so I have a lot to go over with them. Plus I need to schedule a briefing on what happened while we were gone. It shouldn't take me very long."
"Maybe we shouldn't have went away this weekend," I say, suddenly feeling guilty.
"Don't say that," he says, shaking his head. "We needed to get away from the monotony of every day and the stress of initiation preparation. Plus I owed you a few days away. Work will always come second to you, our marriage, and our children. It just means I have to work harder the rest of the week but I'm fine with that as long as you are."
"Of course, I am," I say. "I'm proud of how hard you work for Dauntless. I'm also proud of all the changes you've implemented. You're doing such a great job, Tobias. I love you."
"Thank you but you know it's been a team effort," he says. He looks in the rearview mirror as we pull up in front of the Pire and says, "They're both still out. I'll carry Tyler up to his room while you take Tessa in then I'll get the stuff out of the trunk after I park it in the garage." He leans across the empty space between us and places his lips against mine and kisses me softly. "I love you, too." He briefly kisses me again before we get the kids out of the car and carry them up to our apartment. Tobias takes Tyler straight up the stairs to his room while I sit down on the couch holding Tessa as she peacefully naps knowing she will be hungry when she wakes up, which should be any minute. "I'll be right back, love."
"Take your time," I whisper. He kisses my forehead then Tessa's and heads toward the door. "Hey, are you coming back here to make your calls or going to your office?"
"I'll come back here," he says. "I'll see you soon." Just as he closes the door behind himself, Tessa's eyes flutter open. Her little lips form a perfect "O" as she yawns widely then she starts crying. I put my finger up to her mouth, and she grabs onto it and starts suckling.
"My poor girl. I didn't mean to make you wait so long. Mommy's sorry," I say as I put her to my breast. She latches onto my nipple and nurses vigorously. "I sure did miss you, little one. I think you missed me, too." I watch her while she eats and wonder what it will be like when Teagan joins our family. Will I have enough time for Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan, too? Will I have enough time for Tobias? Should I go back to work? Should I stay at home with the kids? Would I be fulfilled without my work? Is it selfish to want to work? Is it selfish to want to stay at home? Is our apartment big enough for the five of us? What if we decide we want more children? What happens if there's another accidental pregnancy? "Are you ready to have a little sister when you're still just a baby?" She just smiles up at me with her eyes and continues nursing. The apartment door opening pulls me from my reverie, and I smile Tobias. I watch as he walks in, deposits the bags on the island, sets the travel crib in front of the stairway, and puts the bottles in the fridge.
"Hey, love," he says as he sits on the couch. He gives me a kiss on the temple, puts his arm around me, and proceeds to make all his calls. I tune out his conversations and concentrate on feeding Tessa.
"Your Dad seemed really good today," he says when he finishes up on the phone.
"He did, didn't he? I'm glad he's getting back to his old self," I say. "I've been worried about him."
"I know," he says. "You've seemed restless about it. Try not to worry too much."
"I know. It's not good for Peanut," I say. "I'll try not to worry." He smiles at me.
"Do you think we'll always call Teagan Peanut?" he asks me.
"Probably," I say. "That's the very first name we gave her."
"You're right," he says. I put Tessa up to my shoulder and pat her back after she loses interest in nursing.
"Hey, Pebbles. Did you finally get your tummy full?" he asks when she burps loudly.
"She sure did," I say. "I'm going to start supper. Does anything sound good?"
"Yeah," he says, his eyes brightening. "How about your delicious lasagna? We haven't had that for a while."
"I think we have everything I need," I say. "Here, take Tessa."
"Come to Daddy," he says as I hand her to him. While I'm in the kitchen gathering all the ingredients I'll need for the meal, I listen to Tobias talk to Tessa. I don't know who's laughing more. Soon Tyler comes down from his nap and joins the chorus of peals. I can't help myself, I sneak a couple of pictures without any of them noticing then I have them pose for one, which I'll have to frame. Shortly before the timer goes off indicating that supper is ready, I make a Caesar salad and garlic bread and cut up some fresh fruit.
"Supper's ready," I say. Tobias puts Tessa in her swing and lifts Tyler up into his booster seat while I put the lasagna, salad, fruit, and bread onto our plates and set them on the island. When I sit down next to Tobias, I notice a little black box next to my plate, and I narrow my eyes at him. He knows how I feel about gifts. "What's this?"
"That fwom me," Tyler happily says. I look his way, and he's wearing a huge smile on his face.
"It's from you?" I ask, stunned. He nods his head eagerly.
"Open, open!" he says excitedly. I flip the lid on the little black box and smile at the new charm for my bracelet. "Do you like?" I look at the delicate little platinum heart charm with the inscription "I love you to the moon and back" and know that I will cherish it forever.
"I love it, Tyler," I say, leaning over and kissing his head. "That was very thoughtful of you to get this for me but what's the occasion?"
"None! I see'd it and thought it was weally pwetty. Daddy tell me what it say. It what you say to me! Daddy let me buy it fo you."
"I will proudly put this on my bracelet," I say, "and every time I look at it I will think of you. I love you, buddy."
"I love you, Mommy," he says wrapping his arms around me and giving me a big hug. I put the box aside and finish my lasagna, which Hana taught me to make and enjoy supper with my family. Just as I'm finishing, Tessa starts fussing again.
"You take care of her, and I'll clean up the kitchen," Tobias says.
"Thanks," I say, leaning over and giving him a quick peck on the lips. I kiss Tyler's head and put him on his feet as I pass him and take Tessa out of the swing. "You can't be hungry again already, can you?" The minute I pick her up she quiets down. She's getting so spoiled. I change her then we sit down on the couch.
"Movie?" Tyler excitedly asks as he crawls up on the couch next to Tessa and me.
"Why don't you pick one out, and Daddy will put it in when he finishes in the kitchen," I say. He jumps down off the couch and goes to the shelves of kids' movies and stares at them for the longest time trying to make up his mind. I hold my breath hoping that he doesn't pick Cars or any of its sequels when he brings Tobias the movie.
"Madagascar?" Tobias says. "Have we seen this before, buddy?"
"No," he says, his face so serious. "We watch it now, otay?"
"Sounds good to me," I say. I meet Tobias' eyes, and we breathe a collective sigh of relief. Neither of us want to watch Cars ever again. He winks at me before putting the movie in. We all sit side-by-side on the couch, thoroughly enjoying the unfamiliar animated film. About halfway through, Tobias serves us popcorn and freshly squeezed lemonade, which is very refreshing. After the end credits, he carries Tyler, who is fighting sleep, upstairs to put him to bed, and I start feeding Tessa.
"He's sound asleep," he says when he comes back downstairs. He sits beside me, and we both once again watch as our daughter nurses.
"Everything about tonight was perfect: the meal, the movie, the company," I say. "I'm so glad we're home. I didn't know how much I missed the kids."
"I had a great time tonight watching the movie with you and Tyler. I didn't realize it would be so funny. He was so excited to give you the heart charm for your bracelet that he bought before our trip. He begged me to let him give it to you. Supper was superb but then again it always is when you cook," he says snuggling in close to me, kissing my neck. "But I know how we can make it even better. Come find me when you put her to bed." He puts his lips on mine and gives me a lingering erotic kiss that leaves me breathless then gets up and disappears up the stairs.
"Your father is a bit of a tease, little one," I say. My thoughts drift to our eventful morning while Tessa continues to nurse. About half-an-hour later she's gotten her fill, and I take her upstairs to put her to bed. After changing her diaper and putting her in a sleeper, I kiss her forehead and lie her in her crib. I switch on the baby monitor then head across the hallway and check on Tyler. I kiss his temple and tuck him in then go into the bathroom, anticipation growing by the moment. I take a quick shower and brush my teeth then head into the bedroom. I slip between the sheets and slide up against Tobias' naked body. I wrap my arms around him and recognize the smooth rise and fall of his chest. "Seriously?! You fell asleep." He doesn't stir, and I can't help but chuckle. I slide out of bed, unlock and open the door, and slip into one of his old t-shirts then get back into bed. I snuggle close to him, putting my leg over his and kiss his neck, and he moans lowly. "Good night, Tobias. I love you."