A Light In the Dark
Chapter 10

Randy was slightly surprised that not a single thing went wrong on Raw that night. Shawn delivered an amazing promo and the crowd completely ate it up. Nobody was brave enough to interrupt the man, and he was allowed to say whatever the hell he wanted in the ten minutes Vince gave to Randy to open the show and announce Shawn as his manager. Randy was surprised when Paul was never even mentioned in Shawn's speech, and he couldn't help but feel like it might have been a step towards recovery for the older man. When the ten minutes was up, Shawn and Randy made their way backstage to a standing ovation from the crowd.

Randy continued to watch Shawn for the rest of the night, searching for any sign that something was off. Luckily, he had reverted to how he was before any of this shit happened. He was greeting the guys, willingly accepting hugs and handshakes and holding conversations for more than two minutes. Randy smiled. It was almost like the old Shawn was back.

Their first Raw together was relatively uneventful after Shawn was introduced. Randy had a match against Umaga, which he won with a little help from Shawn, and the crowd roared to life as they once again got to witness Shawn perform some Sweet Chin Music. They celebrated in the ring for a few moments, then went backstage to hang out with some of the guys.

It remained that way for quite a few shows. Shawn was perfectly fine, talking to the guys and greeting the fans. He was back to his old self at home, as well, according to Rebecca. Shawn never sat by himself for longer than five minutes at a time, and it never seemed like he was having conversations with himself, either. He was back to being a full time husband and dad, and Rebecca was completely overjoyed to have her husband back. Randy sighed and realized how Vince was probably right the whole time… What Shawn really needed was to come back to what he knew as everyday life. What he knew as familiar. It wasn't something he could get sitting around in his mansion in San Antonio… Because the WWE was Shawn's home.

By the fifth week of the Orton/Michaels pairing, Randy had a match against Andrew "Test" Martin, who had made a surprise return to the WWE shortly after the beginning of the year. He was extremely saddened by Shane's death, as the two had been close when Test was working for the company, and he called Vince to ask for his job back, even though he left on bad terms with the McMahons.

Nonetheless, Vince accepted him back with open arms, and Test was once again back in the World Wrestling Entertainment. The first thing he did, Randy took pride in noticing, was storm up to John and request a 'SM' band.

"Sometimes you eat your anger." He had remarked.

Randy was confused by the statement until Test explained it to him the night of their match. Shane accidentally broke Test's foot during a house show back in October of 2003, when he miscalculated the distance of a Coast-2-Coast and landed on Test instead of on the mat. Shane, of course, felt absolutely terrible about the incident. Not even a week and change later, Vince thought it would be smart for Test to get in the ring with Shane and put him over during the young McMahon's feud with Kane. Test was irate, and Shane was beyond livid. They expressed their anger to Vince, who shook it off and ignored the two. And, several short years later, Test grew irritated with the company and quit, making some not so nice comments about Vince on the way out.

"So your anger was also directed at Shane?" Randy asked.

"Yeah. I mean, it wasn't totally his fault… He told me to move my legs and keep still once I was comfortable and he could see me from the rope, but I didn't exactly listen to him. I tried, but it's hard watching a 6-foot-2, 235 pound guy fly across the ring at you with a garbage can resting against your face and your legs spread wide open, ya know? I trusted Shane, but I twitched. And that one little twitch cost me my friend."

"Because you transferred your anger to Shane instead of yelling at Vince for what happened the next week on Raw."

"Yeah. I took it out on Shane. Told the kid he had no technique… Didn't know a headlock from a sleeper hold… Couldn't look out for his friends in the ring… Couldn't get through one match without hurting someone… Granted, I wrestled him back in '99 and he fucked up his own ankle. Like, totally without my help. He didn't utter a word about it until we saw how swollen it was backstage. Anyway… Yeah, I yelled at him. He took it. Didn't say anything back to me. Stood there and let me berate him in front of everyone… Shawn, Paul, Flair… Just to name a few. I felt horrible about it afterwards, when he simply nodded and walked off. Looked like I kicked his puppy… It was a stupid thing to yell at him about… And I feel even worse now after… You know… No friendship should end like that."

Randy smiled sadly at Andrew. "He knew you didn't really mean it… He spoke of you often enough."

"I usually ignored him whenever I saw him. I only realized, in my short stint at TNA, how stupid the argument was. I called him a few times, we texted as often as we could… He was so quick to accept an apology."

"That was one of his best qualities." John stated.

"Yeah. At least we got to reconnect a little, but it was obviously short lived. He died before we got to hang out face-to-face. I was so… I still am in a state of shock about it. One of the most down to Earth, fun loving people in the world… Gone, just like that. Fucking shame. I ate my anger towards Vince to come back. I came into this company and stayed around because Shane made the effort to befriend me and convince me to stay. He was one of the few people I looked forward to seeing every single week. I left because I had a bad experience and his old man rubbed me the wrong way, so I wrongly took it out on him. It was stupid. It was. I admit that. I'm just sorry he couldn't see me bury the hatchet with his dad and come back to the company he helped me fall in love with."

"He'd be proud of you for that." Shawn commented, speaking up for the first time throughout the conversation.

"Huh?" Andrew asked, turning to look at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Eating your anger. Admitting you were wrong. That's what Shane liked. People who could admit to being wrong and accept the fact they were wrong… And, of course, people who are man enough to apologize, even though it might not be entirely their fault, and move on." Shawn explained.

Andrew smiled his thanks at Shawn, looking away momentarily to try to fight back a batch of tears. Randy looked at Shawn and saw the older man was zoned out with his head slightly tilted back, like he was listening to someone talking. Groaning inwardly, but thankful it wasn't an irritated outburst, Randy looked over at John again.

John seemed to be enjoying the silence, until his face suddenly dropped. He sniffed loudly, catching everyone's attention.

"What's the matter, John?" Randy asked.

John kept sniffing here and there. "I swear to God… Any of ya'll smell that?"

"Smell what?" Andrew asked.

"Just… That. It..," John paused to sniff the air again, then smile sadly. "It's Shane's cologne."

Randy and Andrew exchanged a glance, then looked back over at John. "I don't smell anything." Andrew stated.

"I swear it was here… Like… Jesus, really? Come on… I'm not… Shawn? Shawn, please. Tell me you smelled that?"

Shawn looked over at John and shook his head. "Sorry."

"No. That isn't allowed to happen. It was there!" John shouted.

Randy was about to tell him he sounded ridiculous, until he caught a whiff of that damn cologne. "Oh, God."

"You smell it! I knew I wasn't losing it!"

It wasn't long before Andrew caught the scent. Shawn, however, seemed unaffected by it.

"I think someone is happy." Randy mumbled.

"What?" Andrew asked, leaning closer to Randy.

"Hmm? Oh. I've noticed something… I mean, it isn't the first time I've caught a whiff of Shane's cologne. It usually comes into play when something nice is going on… So I like to think Shane is happy at those times. Or… He would have been, if he was here."

Andrew nodded in slight understanding. He was aware of Shane's… Odd talents. John smiled, being fully aware of what his friend shared with the bosses son, and had once gone ghost hunting with the two. Wasn't logical at the time, since John didn't understand the mumbo jumbo Shane was uttering every so often, but he was glad he went when he just so happened to save Shane from… Something evil. Or so the McMahon had said. Randy looked scared enough, and if him yelling at Shane to 'be more careful next time' meant anything, John assumed the McMahon was being serious.

Shawn, however, remained completely silent, still looking like he was leaning against a wall, even though he was standing up straight in the middle of the hallway. Randy glanced over at him and got concerned. A quiet, zoned out Shawn was definitely not a good one, in his book. He noticed how tired the older man looked and sighed. He knew for a fact Shawn wasn't getting much sleep at night.

"Shawn?"

Shawn snapped back into his normal stance, then turned to look at Andrew. "Yeah?"

"Your phone is ringing."

Shawn unpocketed the phone and excused himself from the group, walking further down the hallway so he could talk in peace. The second he was out of earshot, Andrew and John edged closer to Randy.

"What the hell is wrong with him, man?! He's creeping me out!" John shouted through gritted teeth, looking over his shoulder to make sure Shawn wasn't paying any attention to them.

Thankfully, his back was turned.

"I'm not fond of talking behind someone's back, but this shit is ridiculous. I mean, people warned me he was a little looney tunes now, but this is… I mean… This is nuts. He needs help."

Randy sighed. "I know, guys. I know. I know what his problem is and I'm trying to help him as much as I can."

"He needs a shrink!" John stated through gritted teeth.

"I'm… His… I don't know if a shrink can help him."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? A shrink can help with anything. Maybe he needs anti-depressants."

"A former drug addict on drugs? Yeah, that's a great idea." Randy growled.

Andrew held his hands up in defeat. "Touché."

"He needs something, Randy. He's like a ticking time bomb." John commented.

"He's like Shane after Owen died."

"Shawn isn't going to snap… He's..," Randy paused, then whirled around to face Andrew. "What did you just say?!"

"Me? I said… Shawn is like Shane after Owen died."

"Elaborate?" Randy asked.

Andrew blinked. "Oh. I thought you knew about that. Shane didn't take Owen's death so well. Before it happened, he started crying. Said something was wrong. Collapsed to the ground, shaking and sobbing. Nobody could talk to him until it was announced Owen was dead… Then he went a little nuts. Started talking to walls. Then there was this one night he was hitting his head against the wall… Yeah, that's when Vince decided it was time for him to see a psychiatrist. The quack said there was nothing wrong with him. Vince wasn't exactly convinced…"

Shane was one of the last people who spoke to Shawn before Paul tried to kill him… Shane had been around Shawn enough to rub off on him, in a way… Shawn had been through a traumatic experience… Shane was trying to avoid having a lot of people find out what he could do, but Owen knew and absolutely loved him for it. Called him his personal Ouija board… Shane freaked out backstage, then Owen died… Shane died trying to protect Shawn… Shawn… "Oh my God."

"You okay, Randy?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." Holy. Shit.

"You sure?"

"Yeah… Just… Yeah, I'm okay. I need to go speak to Vince for a second. Can you two keep an eye on him?"

Andrew and John glanced at one another, then looked back at Randy with an eyebrow quirked. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" John asked.

"What?"

"Leaving Shawn with us. Granted, he knows us, but he isn't really that comfortable when you're out of sight." Andrew replied.

"It'll only be for five minutes. Jeez." Randy stated, then walked down the hall towards Vince's office.

"What's the problem, Orton?"

Randy sighed, turning to look at Vince. "I think I figured out where Shawn's problem originated."

"What do you mean?" Vince asked.

"Well… John, Shawn and I were talking to Andrew… And he was taking us down memory lane… Ya know, chatting about how things were back when he was still here… And Shawn had to take a phone call, so Andrew and John started grilling me about Shawn being weird. Then, Andrew said it… He said 'Shawn is like Shane after Owen died.'"

Vince blinked, not quite understanding. "Hmm?"

Randy cleared his throat. "Well… Um… Andrew said Shane freaked out before and after Owen died, right?"

Vince nodded. "Definitely not a shining moment for Shane."

"What happened?"

Vince shrugged. "He lost it. Turned into a weeping mess before it happened, and just went absolutely crazy when it was announced. Nobody could calm him down. He started… Talking to walls. Slowly, it turned into hitting his head against the wall. He wasn't sleeping at night. Kept getting nightmares that resulted in him screaming at the top of his lungs. So, I got him some help. Granted, the doctor said there was nothing wrong with him mentally… But, still. He got to open up and after that, it wasn't so bad."

"And you don't think that doesn't sound a little like Shawn now?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well… Shawn went through an extremely traumatic experience last year. Shane was with him almost all the time when you guys rescued him. Shane is the one who tried to warn Shawn about Paul. Hell, Shane was even the last person to talk to Shawn before Paul… Well… Ya know. Shane died trying to save him. Now, back to the situation with Owen… They were always close, yeah? Kind of like brothers..? Hung out a lot? Shane said there was something wrong before Owen's match. He knew something was going to happen to Owen."

"Yeah. So?" Vince asked.

"Well… Shane was seeing Owen for a very long time after he died. He wasn't sleeping. Nightmares were driving him crazy. He spent a lot of his time in a trance, right?"

Vince scoffed. "That's an understatement."

"Now… Shawn is seeing Shane. Shawn isn't sleeping. Shawn is spending a lot of his time zoned out, listening to something that isn't there."

Vince blinked. "Oh my God… What the hell do we do?"

"I don't know. I think being back here is very therapeutic for Shawn… Even still, he's going to need more help than I can offer him at the moment."

"Should I recommend him to a psychiatrist?"

"You mean one better than the guy I'm already seeing?"

Vince and Randy whirled around and saw Shawn standing in the doorway, looking severely pissed off.

"Shawn-"

"What?"

"How long have you been standing there?" Vince asked.

"Not long. Just… Why are you two talking about making me see a psychiatrist behind my back? Can't you mention it to my face? I thought we were done with all of the stupid secrets."

"You're right, Shawn… Our mistake."

"Since when were you seeing a psychiatrist?" Randy questioned.

Shawn huffed in annoyance. "Since Rebecca brought me to one."

"Why didn't she tell us?"

"Do you think she wants to admit her husband, the great Heartbreak Kid, has nightmares and can't sleep at night? It's embarrassing."

Randy locked eyes with Vince and glared at him, almost as if he was proving his point. "Nightmares?"

"Can you blame me?"

"No." Vince replied, wishing the ground would open up and swallow him… Or, more realistically, hoping the conversation would just end.

"What does he think about it?" Randy asked.

"Who?"

"You know who."

"Oh," Shawn paused for a moment, trying to choose his words wisely. "What do you think the nightmares are about?"

"So he's putting them there." Randy stated.

"Don't remind me." Shawn muttered.