I apologize for taking so long to post. The holidays are crazy and I wanted to take some time to think about this chapter. I already know what direction I am going in with this story, but for some reason I struggled with this part of the story. I hope you enjoy it. Happy Reading!
Phoebe is standing in the middle of the study waiting for her father to speak. She can feel herself shaking and withering under his cold glare, but she doesn't move. She is determined to face him and what she has done. Just three weeks ago she was in this study with him trying to convince him that she should go on the road trip, but it didn't work. He did not want her to go, but she went anyway. And here they are now. He had a lot to say about it three weeks ago, but now all she is getting from him is his cold glare. She can't take it anymore.
"Say something" she says softly, but he still remains silent. He remains seated at his desk with his elbows leaning and his chin rested on his folded hands.
Ana walks into the study and immediately becomes emotional. She rushes over to Phoebe and wraps her arms around her tightly. Christian just watches while mother and daughter reconnect. When Ana pulls away she looks at her daughter for a few seconds, and then she becomes angry and slaps her across the face. Phoebe brings her hand up to her cheek which immediately becomes pink from the slap. Christian just continues to watch as his wife unleashes her emotions on their daughter, no doubt driven by her pregnancy hormones.
"How could you be so reckless? What were you thinking leaving this house with no phone and no security? Phoebe you had us worried sick that something was going to happen to you." Phoebe doesn't say anything. She continues to hold her cheek and tears start to roll down her face. She listens as Ana continues her emotional rant. "I have never been as disappointed in you as I am right now. What you did was stupid and selfish and extremely dangerous. Do you have any idea what you have put this family through?" Phoebe squeezes her eyes shut as more tears stream down her face. Ana has never yelled at her like this. Ever. Ana starts to feel guilty for shouting at her and decides that the best thing to do is dismiss her. She lets out a sigh and tries to calm herself down. "It's late. You should go to bed. We will talk more about this tomorrow."
Phoebe rushes out of the study and closes the door behind her. She is still crying when she grabs her bag and climbs the steps to the second floor. As she approaches her bedroom, she runs into Teddy.
"Phoebe" he calls out to her with relief. At first she is reluctant to face him. After seeing her parents' reaction to her return she feels that nobody will be on her side. She is proven wrong when he pulls her into a hug. He holds her and lets her cry into his chest. He rubs her back and softly tells her that everything is going to be okay. She doesn't believe that, but being held right now feels too good for her to pull away. After what happened with Dylan, and then being in a long car ride with Sawyer, and then facing her parents, this is what she needs.
After Phoebe calms down Teddy takes her bag and leads her into her bedroom. They sit on her bed and he watches her for a few seconds, waiting for her to collect herself.
"Are you okay?" he asks her.
Phoebe takes a deep breath and then lets it out. "I should have never gone on that road trip."
Teddy brings his hand up to her back and gently strokes it. "Did something happen?"
Phoebe starts to get emotional again and tries to compose herself before speaking. "I left Trevor in Los Angeles."
"Why?"
Phoebe thinks it over for a moment. She is too embarrassed to tell him about what Dylan did to her. But she needs to tell him something. "Um, we were staying with his cousin, Dylan. He told his cousin some personal things about me, and it made me really angry. So I called Sawyer and asked him to come get me." Phoebe reaches up and rubs some tears away from her face. "He said Dad fired him."
Teddy looks down and sighs. "Yeah, Dad did some questionable things while you were away."
"It's all my fault. I hate myself."
"Phoebe, look I don't agree with what you did. And I certainly don't like what you did. But I'm glad you're home safe. I know Mom and Dad are too."
Phoebe sniffles and tries to compose herself again. "Mom slapped me" she says. "Mom's never hit me before."
Teddy moves his hand up to her shoulder and rubs it. "Yeah, me neither. Look, Mom and Dad are going to be upset with you for a while. Your taking off has really been hard on them. Not knowing where you were, not knowing if you were safe, or even alive. Phoebe, you are their child. This was killing them. So you are going to have to ride this out for a while and wait for them to forgive you. And it's going to be a really long time before they can trust you again."
Phoebe thinks about her brother's words and then looks up at him. "You should be furious with me too. Why are you being so nice?"
Teddy smiles. "I'm pissed at you Phoebs. And I will be for a while. But you need me. So I'm here, whatever you need."
Phoebe manages a faint smile and more tears roll down her cheeks. "Thanks Teddy."
"Are you hungry? Do you need me to get something for you from the kitchen?" Phoebe shakes her head and wipes some more tears away. Teddy grows concerned, very much like his father would. He notices that she looks thinner since the last time he saw her. "When's the last time you ate?"
"Sawyer stopped by a sandwich place outside of Seattle and we shared a chicken wrap."
Teddy is still concerned, but he decides not to press the issue. "You should get some sleep. Do you think that you can?" he asks her.
Phoebe nods. "Yeah. I wanna take a shower first."
"Okay. I'll check on you tomorrow morning." Teddy rises from the bed and kisses her hair before walking over to the doorway. He turns and looks down at her before leaving. "I'm really glad you're home" he says to her.
Phoebe grows even angrier with herself as she realizes that this has affected him too. Just like their parents, he was worried about her too. "I'm really sorry Teddy."
He doesn't say anything, but he nods before leaving her bedroom.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Ana is sitting up in bed waiting for Christian to join her. After brushing his teeth he walks over to the bed and climbs in next to her. He sits up next to her and watches her for a while, knowing that she is going to verbalize what she is feeling at any moment. When she does, it comes out like a waterfall along with her tears.
"I'm such a bad mother"
"Come on, what are you talking about?" is all he has to offer.
"I hit her, Christian. I hit our child." Ana has a tissue in her hand but it doesn't help much with the amount of tears that are rolling down her cheeks.
Christian is unaffected by her emotional state and doesn't make a move to comfort her. He has grown cold over the past couple of weeks and has only been able to change his disposition when called out on it. He just watches his wife as she beats herself up.
"How could I do that?"
"She deserved it" he tries to reason, which only makes Ana angry.
"No, Christian. She didn't. I've never raised a hand to either of our children." Ana grabs some more tissues and works to blot her face dry.
"I have. I guess that makes me a bad father."
"Christian, that's not the same and you know it" Ana yells. "You've never slapped their faces."
Christian shifts on the bed and lies down. "Ana, don't beat yourself up over this. It's late, you're tired, I'm tired, so we should both just go to sleep."
Ana is hurt by Christian's lack of emotion regarding their daughter. She is home, she is safe, and now she probably feels rejected by both of her parents. Ana waits for Christian to close his eyes and drift off to sleep before climbing out of the bed. She tiptoes down the hall and stops at Phoebe's room where Teddy is standing in the doorway. He is looking in at his sister in the dark room.
"How is she?" she whispers to her son.
Teddy turns his head and looks at his mother. "She's asleep" he whispers back. "She just got settled." Teddy closes the door to his sister's room and faces his mother. "She's home Mom, and she's safe" he says as he brings his hands up to hold the outside of her arms.
Ana nods her head and starts to tear up. Internally she is blaming it on the pregnancy hormones, but her kids don't know about her pregnancy yet. She reaches up and wipes a tear away. "Thank you for being there for her."
Teddy smiles and rubs his hands up and down her arms before letting go. "I told her that you and Dad are going to need some time to deal with all of this. Just because she is back doesn't mean that all is forgiven."
Ana nods again, unsure of what to say. She agrees that it will take some time. But that doesn't mean that Ana can't be there for her too. She wants to go in and hold her daughter and be happy that she is home. It is taking everything in her to refrain from pushing Teddy out of the way and rushing into her bedroom. But she knows that she can't do that.
"She'll be fine, Mom. You should go to bed."
Ana reaches up and caresses her son's face. She cannot believe how grown up he is and how much he is like his father. Even now, telling her to go to bed. She smiles and leans up and kisses his cheek. "Goodnight Teddy"
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
The next morning Teddy walks into Phoebe's room to find her sitting up and staring out the window.
"Good Morning"
She turns and looks at him. He is holding Natalie in his arms and she has a big smile on her face.
"Phoebe!" Teddy puts the toddler down and she runs over to Phoebe's bed. She struggles to climb onto the bed so Teddy walks over and lifts her onto it. Phoebe has a big smile on her face as she hugs her baby sister.
"I missed you so much" Phoebe says softly. She can feel a tear leave her eye. Natalie pulls back and excitedly tells Phoebe about starting dancing school soon and some outfits that Ana had bought for her to wear to class. Phoebe listens and smiles as she listens to her. Teddy stands next to the bed with his hands in his pockets and watches. They are interrupted when Ana knocks on the open door and walks in.
"Hi Mommy" Natalie says with a smile on her face, unaware of the tension that had just started to build in the room. Phoebe and Teddy stare back at their mother waiting to see who will be the first to speak. A few seconds go by with just silence, until Natalie speaks again. "Mommy, I'm hungry."
"Teddy, could you please take your sister to the kitchen and give her some fruit? I'll be down in a few minutes." Teddy does as he's told. He lifts Natalie and carries her out of the room. Ana slowly walks over to the bed and sits down so that she is facing Phoebe. She reaches over and puts her hand on top of hers. "I hate what you did, Phoebe. We were so worried about you. We couldn't find you and we couldn't protect you. You will never know what this did to us until you have children of your own."
Phoebe just sits and listens to her mother. She knows that she let her parents down. There's not much she can say in her defense that will make things better.
"When you don't know where your child is, it's like a big chunk of your heart is being ripped out. We didn't know…." she pauses and takes a breath. "We didn't know if you were dead or alive. We were relieved when you contacted Teddy and then Mia, but that was short lived. Your father and I were beside ourselves with fear and worry that something bad was going to happen to you."
When Ana stops talking, Phoebe feels the need to say something. "I'm sorry Mom. I know that that doesn't mean anything right now, but I really am. I don't like making you and Dad angry."
Ana reaches up and caresses Phoebe's cheek where she slapped her. "I shouldn't have slapped you. No matter how angry I get at you….."
"I deserved it" Phoebe interrupts her.
"No, no you didn't" Ana says as she shakes her head. "I was angry and I did it without thinking. I'm still angry, Phoebe. I'm glad you're home but the anger and the hurt are still there. It's going to take some time before things calm down around here." Phoebe nods and looks down. Ana moves closer to her and pulls her into a hug to reassure her that she's glad she's home. "I love you" she says softly.
Phoebe pulls out of the hug. "I love you too Mom, and, I really am sorry for making you so angry. I just wanted this road trip so bad, and I wasn't thinking about what it would do to you and Dad."
Ana nods. "You were selfish, Phoebe. That's something you have to think about. You have to ask yourself 'how do my actions affect other people?'"
Phoebe nods again. "I'm pretty sure I'll have a lot of time to think about that. I'm sure I'm grounded until I'm thirty."
Ana smirks and looks down at their hands. "Your father and I need to discuss that. We will let you know once we decide on a proper punishment."
Phoebe nods and also looks down at their hands. "Dad didn't say a word last night. Is he ever going to speak to me again?"
Ana gives her a worried look. "Your father loves you, but he isn't the same person he was before you left. This has changed him, and he's probably not going to come around as easily as Teddy and I have. You need to give him space, Phoebe. Let him decide when he's ready to accept that you are back."
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Later that day, the family prepares to sit for dinner. Ana has made her chicken lasagna, Phoebe's favorite. Phoebe helps Natalie into her booster seat while Ana serves the food. They look up when they see Teddy return to the breakfast bar.
"Dad said he's not hungry. He's going to eat later."
He sits down between his sisters. Phoebe frowns and looks down at the dish that Ana has put in the middle of the table. Christian has avoided her all day. He did not join them for breakfast or lunch. And now he is skipping out on dinner. Her appetite starts to fade as she watches Ana and Teddy dish out some lasagna.
"Here Phoebe" Ana says as she hands her the large fork and spoon.
"Maybe I should eat later too" she says softly. Teddy and Ana both look at her sadly, knowing that she is itching to meet up with her father.
"Phoebe, your father will probably have dinner in his study. You can eat with us now. Maybe he'll be up for talking later." Ana tries to defuse the situation that is Christian avoiding their daughter, but on the inside she is furious at her husband for acting so childish.
"No he won't. He's purposely avoiding me. He's never going to speak to me again, is he?"
Teddy sighs. "Look, Phoebe he just needs some time. He probably needs to think about what he's going to say to you."
"Mom, I appreciate that you made my favorite, but I'm really not hungry right now. Can you save some for me to eat later?"
Ana looks at her and thinks it over for a few seconds. She'd rather have her daughter eat with her, but she can't force feed her like Christian would if he were there. "Sure, you can eat later."
Phoebe excuses herself from the table and climbs the stairs to her room. She plops herself on the bed and checks her cell phone for the first time since she left. There are seven missed calls and two text messages from Trevor.
Are you home?
I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you leave. Please talk to me
Phoebe sighs and just drops her phone on her bed. She doesn't want to deal with him right now. Her thoughts are on her family, especially her father. She never meant to make them worry so much about her. She never meant to make them so angry. What can she do to fix things? She decides to put some music on and take a nap. The first song on her playlist is an Enya song, and it's the only song she hears before sleep comes to her.
She wakes around three in the morning and ventures downstairs, hoping to run into her father. He usually gets up in the middle of the night to check on Natalie and then he goes to the kitchen for a drink. She grabs a bottled water for herself and waits in the kitchen for him to come. She waits for about two hours, and then it occurs to her that he is not coming. Either that or he knew she was in the kitchen and avoided that area of the house so that he wouldn't have to see her. Tears start to escape her eyes at the thought of her father ignoring her. "What have I done?" she says softly as she begins to cry.