For several hours Rey had been glued to the side of her friend's bed as he'd been locked in critical condition since their arrival on D'Qar. The nurses had worked tirelessly to make sure Finn had a sufficient amount of blood and that his vitals were as they should be. Rey on the other hand had been trapped in a world of powerless torment as she was unable to do anything to help the situation.
It had only been by the grace of the Marker that her friend's condition had stabilized and that his wounded liver was healing miraculously. She'd been by Finn's side for a total of six hours already, but she was really yearning to visit Ben. Leia and Han had both assured her that he would be there for some time. The interrogators were the only ones who would be indulging him with any type of conversation for a while. Still guilt was consuming her, she had been the one who had convinced Ben he should go to the Resistance. She'd been foolish in thinking they would accept Ben and maybe they would be open about taking him back. Her naive belief had cost Ben his freedom and now she couldn't help but blame herself.
Instead of spending every fiber of her being fighting for Ben's freedom; she was forced to remain by Finn's side, watching over him. Hands clenching the sheets of his bed in anger, Rey could only feel hateful shame washing over herself. This situation on both of her best friends' behalf was her fault; they were both in undesirable circumstances, she should have been protecting them both. She should have been able to protect Finn, but her lacking attention had cost him a shot to the liver. She was an exceptional Jedi according to Ben and still she was powerless to help her friend as he laid there in agony. Rey couldn't stop the feeling of weakness that was overriding every accomplishment they had achieved; blowing up Starkiller Base and bringing Kylo Ren back to the Light Side had been no easy feat, but while Ben was locked away and Finn was on the brink of death Rey could not rejoice.
She sat there, her eyes transfixed on her friend, desperate to see any signs of improvement. Unfortunately, she knew there would be no way she could stay any longer than a few day and see his full recovery. Her mission would take her far away from here, and now that R2-D2 had awaken from his eternal slumber with the second part of the map, her and Ben could hopefully find Luke. As things were now, Ben coming along with her seemed to be a fleeting idea.
"Rey," the scavenger spun around to see the source where her name had originated from. To her surprise General Organa was standing behind her in an olive colored getup. Her hair had been delicately braided, and even when she was wearing a workman's uniform the general's posture and all around aura screamed elegance.
"May I take a seat next to you?" General Organa asked, which Rey returned with a quick nod of approval.
The rhythmic breathing of the former princess was something Rey had become more aware of as the general took a seat next to her. The old woman's eyes grazed over Finn, as if she was observing the condition her friend was in. "I'm sorry about Finn." There was a lengthy pause before the general spoke again.
"You know when you were in the hands of the First Order, your friend here was very adamant about saving you. Almost everyday he was trying to sneak out to rescue you," the princess said with a twinge of amusement in her voice. "I had to start having Poe trailing him."
Rey let a false smile rise on her face before it fell. "I should have been there for him. I'm a Jedi, I should have protected him," she murmured softly allowing her own shame to consume her.
"It's sad, that even with power you can't save the ones you love. I was the General of the Resistance but I couldn't even protect my son from the Dark Side," Leia replied in an honest confession. "I tried so hard to keep him from turning out like Vader. Even with the limited time I had, I tried to make Ben happy and make him the focus of my attention. But when I agreed to send him to Luke's Academy – all I did was push him closer to the Dark Side. It was my horrific parenting, my lack of foresight and the distance between us that led Ben toward the Dark Side."
Rey looked over at the general in unadulterated shock. Was that what the general had thought all this time? That Ben went to the Dark Side because of her bad parenting? It might have been true that Ben had been suffering and seeking power and companionship as Snoke's apprentice, the type of companionship that a mother's attention might have halted. But Snoke had made Ben his target, and even if the princess and smuggler had been in the picture, there was the chance that for all their caring – it might still have been useless to stop the Supreme Leader from finding a way to sink his claws into the young, and Force-sensitive child named Ben Solo.
Now Rey had nothing but admiration for Leia, carrying such a heavy burden through the years must have been hard. It was obvious it had been weighing on the princess for a long time.
"I know he came back because of you. I have pleaded with him many times using the Force, but he never made any move of stopping his destructive quest to kill Luke. I could feel there was still good in him, and I'm glad you coaxed it out of him. For that I will always be in your debt," the general's voice was sad and solemn. It pained Rey to hear those last few words exit the older woman's mouth.
Rey had done what any normal person should have done when they saw someone suffering – she'd tried her best to heal him. It had come naturally, she'd seen the Light Side in Ben too, shining like a distress beacon. It had been through her own sheer will that she had been determined to be there and rescue him. She couldn't stand by and let him drown in the darkness.
Finally after some thought the young Jedi found the words she had been searching for. "You don't owe me anything, I just couldn't stand by and let him suffer. I'm glad that my help came to some fruition."
There was again a silence that had settled like delicate snow between them. Rey was too nervous and frazzled to say anything. She couldn't seem to get Ben out of her mind as tried to formulate something to say.
"So, you love him," the princess inquired, her voice holding a lot more curiosity and energy than before.
Rey found herself blushing wildly at the question, damning her own body for betraying the answer earlier than she had wanted to. "I do and I'm pretty sure he feels the same," her mind drifted back to when Ben had captured her in his arms and told her he loved her. The memory lingering was a very happy one, one of the few happy ones she had, and Rey couldn't stop a smile from forming on her lips.
It had before their departure to find the shield control center on Starkiller Base. Things had changed, and even now she missed Ben and they had only been apart for a few hours. After spending so much time together, she realized she'd taken his close proximity for granted. Since seeing him dragged away, there'd been a sharp pulsing in her chest. It had taken a while to recollect, but Rey knew she'd felt this clawing ache in her heart before. It was the type of ache she had grown so fond of on Jakku – the ache of loneliness. In just a period of a few hours, Rey was already being haunted by the fear that it might be a while until she saw Ben again. The very thought caused the sharp pain to resonate deeper through her chest – Rey tried her best to ignore it, but it seemed to be unescapable.
"Don't let people discourage you from being with Ben," the general's voice sliced through Rey's thoughts. "When I met Han, people made it clear they disapproved of me being with a smuggler. I was still recognized by few as a princess and they thought it was wastefully if I married below my station. Politicians, fellow soldiers and friends in the Rebellion made it clear that we shouldn't be together, but I was too stubborn to let them dictate who I loved. Just keep that in mind when you see looks of disapproval, be strong and remember that no matter what you do, you won't be able to make everyone happy, so just be confident with your decisions." With that said, the general got up and gave Rey a quick kiss on the head before she left her.
"I'm going to see Ben, hopeful I can get him freed. Being a General has some perks," she announced to Rey as the Jedi watched the curtain quivered behind Leia. That was the last Rey saw of the wise woman that she very much respected. Her heart was now feeling even heavier as she wasn't sure when she would see Ben again. Also the thought of people disapproving of her relationship with the fellow Jedi disheartened her even further. She wasn't certain how Finn would feel about her relationship with Ben when she told him, but Rey knew she would have to unveil the truth to him eventually.
She hoped he would be understanding, would wholeheartedly accept her choice, but Rey couldn't be certain. The former First Order soldier seemed like the type to hold a grudge and Rey knew he wasn't fond of Ben at all. Still her more optimistic side was holding out hope that maybe her friend would see how happy she was and accept it.
Involuntarily, Rey leaned her head on the soft sheets of Finn's bed. Her eyes were beginning to ache after being awake for over twenty four hours without a wink of sleep.
The sound of the heart monitors that were scatter throughout the medical wing monotonously droned on. The noise of beeping was starting to make her drowsy, like it was some lullaby that would carry her away to sleep. Rey tried to keep herself awake by pinching her own arm, but it was proving futile. She'd been here waiting for Finn to wake up, or move even, but it seemed her friend was still being resilient to waking up. Rey closed her eyes; she needed a rest after all the action she had endured on Starkiller Base. Reluctantly Rey allowed sleep to overtake her and she barreled into an unconscious state.
The stirring of a hand was what caused Rey to jolt awake, as fingers intertwined with her hair. She sat upright her eyes still becoming accustomed to the light blazing around her. There was no way to know how long she had slept, but it must have been fairly long for the young Jedi felt refreshed. Quickly, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and to her surprise she was met with the gaze of Finn. Overwhelming joy bubbled up inside her, as her friend was sitting up and looking directly at her – a light smile curled upon his lips.
"Rey," he murmured so softly she thought she had almost imagined it.
"Finn," she replied with undeniable happiness. "You're finally awake. I was so afraid for you. I should have protected you, I…" Rey found herself trailing off.
Even in his weakened state she heard her friend release a chuckle. "Now you know how I felt every day you were in the custody of the First Order. I hoped everyday you were still in one piece."
Rey laughed, but it sounded hollow and humorless. "Well I'm here in one piece still. I don't think I was ever in too much danger," she paused. Her eyes grazed over Finn's face as she forced a tiny smile to play upon her lips. It was nice to see her friend had the energy to speak and move; she had feared that his wounds would leave him incapacitated for a long time.
"Will you tell me what happened while you were in the custody of the First Order?" He said in a raspy voice. "How did you convince Kylo Ren to help you escape?"
"It's a long story, are you sure you want to hear it?" She asked, but the young Jedi was very certain she already knew what the answer would be.
"I'm not going anywhere soon, of course I want to hear it all," he sounded surprisingly eager for someone who had just been shot.
Even as she prepared to tell her friend the truth, Rey felt as if a brick was caught in her throat and she struggled to find her voice. Taking a deep breath, Rey forced herself to choke back her own anxiety. She started to tell her friend everything from the beginning: the interrogation and how she had discovered she was Force-sensitive, how she had agreed to be trained by Kylo in exchange for the map, how things had slowly grown into a small friendship during their training sessions. She told him about Ren's refusal to allow Hux to hurt her, explaining how far the Dark Lord had gone to keep her safe. And finally she reached Snoke's ultimatum, either Ben could have handed her over to his master or they could escape together. She left out the majority of any romantic details, but she finally confessed to Finn that Ben loved her and she was indeed in love with him.
After relaying every detail of importance Rey allowed Finn to soak in the new information she had just showered him with. It was undeniable, the former Stormtrooper had a dumbstruck expression on his face as his jaw was hanging open. His eyes were a mixture of emotion, Rey couldn't really read which ones they were, for they seemed to be changing frequently.
What seemed like an hour passed, but Rey was almost certain it had only been a few minutes maximum. Tension hung in the air, it was as thick as a dense fog and it definitely was weighing on them.
Finally her friend seemed to find his vocal cords as he voiced his opinion. "Rey, you can't be serious about loving that man?" The frostiness in his words was apparent and internally Rey flinched at her friend's tone.
"I'm serious," she replied, keeping her voice even.
"Rey, he kidnapped you. I was screaming as I watched him whisk you away. I thought he was going to do what he did to Poe. Kylo Ren tortured Poe senseless," even in his subpar state Rey could hear the passion in Finn's declaration. "Rey you don't know the things he's done. I watched that man kill people in cold-blood! Other soldiers told me he wiped whole cities, towns, villages off the maps. The guy is nothing short of a monster."
"Finn, he's changed. You need to give him a chance to show you. Was blowing up Starkiller Base and walking into the enemy's hands not even an indication to you he's changed?" Rey cried out, highly irritated by her friend's close-minded attitude.
"He hurt you though," Finn protested angrily. "How can you forgive that?"
"He's changed. He would never do that now. That's why he came here, to spare me the pain of us being separated," she defended her lover with zeal. How could Finn be so blind to how Ben had changed? It was as if he was in open deniable that someone, especially Ben was capable of change. Rey had seen how Kylo Ren had changed, she'd peeled away the evil layer by layer until she had found a boy who had been manipulated and used. She had also seen how Finn had changed – he was no longer displayed the cowardice he once did.
"Rey you deserve someone better than him. I love you and I would do anything for you. I ran straight back to the First Order to save you. Does that not prove my devotion to you?"
Rey looked at the former Stormtrooper with shock. She never would have believed it if she hadn't heard Finn say it himself. What she had always considered a friendly bond, a concern that had arose from them fighting to survive together, it was really more to him. Part of her was denying it, why would he have left her back on Takodana standing by herself in that cantina if he had truly loved her?
If Finn had maybe said something earlier, then she might have held on to that during her captivity in the First Order. Things between her and Ben might never have blossomed, but she knew there was an undeniable chemistry, a connection that was apparent to them both. Even with the knowledge of Finn's feelings, she doubted she would have been able to ignore Ben's magnetic quality. It was deeper than sexual lust and the Force. It was this understanding of pain that they also shared, they both knew the sting of loneliness. They both also shared a passion of flying – as well they both enjoyed building things. Before they had left Starkiller Base, they both had started to design and collect parts for her own lightsaber.
Even now, she felt sorrow shake Rey to her very core, for she was in love with Ben. It was too late for her to change her feelings and she didn't want to stop loving Ben always.
"I'm sorry, Finn. I can't change my feelings for Ben. It pains me to tell you this, but I love him," she forced out. Even as the words came out Rey blinked back heavy tears, it brought her no joy expelling the truth to Finn. She could almost sense how crushed he was, as if the Force was giving her glimpses of his suffering.
There was a tense silence that grappled to them as they both sat there unsure how to move forward. Eyes transfixed on the clinical floor of the hospital, Rey was lost in her own mind. She was recollecting every event that had tangled their fates and she was trying to figure out when his feelings had developed. Could it have been when Finn asked her if her need to return to Jakku was because she had a boyfriend waiting for her. Could that really have been it? Or could it have been in the beginning, on Jakku, when he'd taken her hand and dragged her safely away from TIE Fighter fire?
Amidst her own thoughts Rey had hardly noticed that Finn was starting to sit up and lean toward her. Before she could even react her friend was looking her in the eyes, analyzing her.
"I have to at least try and make you understand how I feel. Otherwise I'll never forgive myself." Without warning Finn leaned in and locked his lips with hers.
Paralyzed, Rey sat there unable to even move her limbs, it was as if she was under some spell. Her mouth was rigid and as Finn pressed his lips against hers she was unable to do anything. The kiss was passionless compared to the ones her and Ben shared, at least in her case they seemed loveless. As for the former Stormtrooper, she hoped he sensed her discomfort, as he tried his best to entice her into some romantic reciprocation. She felt her friend's tongue graze her bottom lip and that's when Rey felt herself shiver and reality came galloping back to her. Her hand rested on Finn's chest and as she was about to push him away and put distance between them. But Rey froze as she heard a familiar voice call out her name.
"Rey?" Ben muttered, hands pushing back the curtain. It was obvious to detected the sorrow, hurt, and pent up anger that was being channeled through his voice. His eyes betrayed even more emotional shock and pain, more than Rey had ever seen.
As fast as lightning, Rey pushed Finn away from her, but the damage had been done. "Ben," she exclaimed in surprise and horror, but as soon as the words left her lips Ben pulled the cloth back into place aggressively and left.
Rey turned to Finn in seething rage, but she couldn't stay for another second she needed to catch up with Ben. As swift as her legs would take her, the female Jedi sprinted after Ben as she cut gracefully through the crowd of doctors and nurses. Instantly, she turned down a thin hall off of the medical wing. Rey could see dark brown robes and smooth black hair darting away. Without even a thought, Rey charged after him and to her surprise she caught up with Ben.
"Ben, let me explain," she gasped.
The former Dark Lord swirled around to face her, his dark, scorching gaze met her hazel irises. She could see the roiling anger stirring beneath his forcibly calm visage and for a second she thought maybe this was a bad idea.
"Was I just some substitute for Finn?" He hissed out. "Did you ever really feel anything for me, or were you just thinking of him everytime you kissed me." That's when Rey stopped him by bringing her index finger to his lips.
"He kissed me, I did not kiss him back," she didn't see Ben's flaring unrest even remotely dissipate at her words, which worried her. "He was just distraught over the fact that I told him I'm in love with you," she concluded.
She removed her finger from Ben's lips and wait for him to speak but he said nothing – he just stared at her with a vile expression on his face. "I left the First Order, risked my damn life to come here with you. I was arrested, interrogated, questioned for hours so that the Resistance could have some precious information and the first thing I see you do is kiss another man. You were putting your hand on his chest, touching him." Rey felt her stomach twisting into a knot, as Ben seemed to be shoving all his valiant acts in her face just to punish her.
"How am I supposed to react?" He asked her, his voice straining. Rey reached her hand out in an attempt to give him a hug, but she retracted the limb the moment Ben's heated gaze again reached her eyes.
"Ben, I'm sorry, I wish you wouldn't have seen that," Rey regretted those words the moment they left her mouth. Alluding that keeping the kiss a secret did nothing to improve Ben's mood.
"I'm going to look at the map, alone. Just meet me by the Falcon tomorrow at nine, and bring all your things. Right now, I just want to be left alone," he said; his voice as cold as ice.
Rey nodded in defeat as she watched Ben turn on his heels and march away. Things had been going so well between them and now, now they seemed on the brink of collapse. Rey watched as Ben's bark colored robes swayed as he stormed off. Even now she could still see the remnants of the powerful and feared Kylo Ren as his steps mirrored his superiority and condescension. As he passed, the Resistance soldiers and techs were terrified of him.
Rey let out a heavy sigh knowing that tomorrow would be hell if Ben was going to carry the same attitude.
Just as instructed Rey appeared in the airfield next to the Millennium Falcon at nine o'clock on the dot. She had packed her meager belongings the night before. Rey had acquired a new jacket and pants, that were wooly and hue of dark gray. She had lost her staff on Starkiller, so her only weapon now was Luke's saber, but she planned to return it to the Jedi Master upon meeting him – it seemed the respectful thing to do.
Last night she had also said goodbye to Finn and things had been gritty between them to say the least, but Rey would worry about repairing their friendship when she got back. Currently she had a mission to find Luke and now she was waiting eagerly for Ben Solo to show up. She wondered where their mission would be taking them. When BB-8 had given her the first glimpses of the map Rey had been mesmerized with images of an ocean and lush, green islands that sprouted from the sea. At first she had thought it was Takodana, but when they had arrived there she knew it was a different planet entirely that Luke was located at.
Impatiently, Ret felt time starting to tick away, and she was beginning to wonder if her partner was standing her up. After another ten minutes passed Rey contemplated going to look for Ben. That was until she saw a man in brown robes approaching her, with two other shorter people behind him, as well as a droid. It didn't take long for Rey to identify Han and Leia as they walked next to their son and R2-D2 was trailing them.
As they approached Ben turned around right before he was too close to the ship and gave them each a tight hug. She couldn't make out what they were saying, but it must have been some sort of goodbye and good luck speech. Rey gave them bright smiles and waved at them – both Han and Leia reciprocated as they prepared to leave. Ben left them behind and rounded on the ship.
"Good morning," Rey sounded nothing short of giddy as she spoke.
"Good morning," Ben said his expression remaining docile as he walked passed her – the dark haired man went straight into the Falcon with R2-D2 at his heels.
Rey repressed the pain that was grinding in her chest and pulled herself together. If Ben was going to be difficult that was his problem, but she was determined to wear down his anger, no matter how long it took. Knowing where Ben was, Rey walked straight for the cockpit. Sure enough the Jedi was preparing for take off, flipping switches and turning knobs as he went along.
"We're heading to Ahch-To, that's where Luke is hiding. I have his longitude and latitude coordinates, so it'll be easy," still Ben was refusing to make any type of eye contact, and his expression was still screaming indifference. R2-D2 started beeping outside the cockpit at the prospect of seeing his old master.
"Sounds good," the younger Jedi said, trying her best to fake her happiness. Rey didn't say anything else in response, instead she plunked down in the co-pilot seat next to him and started to assist with take off preparations.
It wasn't long until they were soaring out of D'Qar's atmosphere and straight into space. Rey kicked them into hyperdrive as soon as possible and she watched the stars turn into a streaks of white light as they bolted through the blackness of space. In awe, Rey stared as Ahch-To materialized before her very eyes. The planet was an orbiting ball of pure fake blue with patches of wispy white that curved and hugged the planet. As they descended into the planet, water started to spray all over the windshield of the Falcon causing Rey to clinch into the arms of her seat.
Ben drove the ship for another five minutes before they approached a specific rocky outcropping. Green clung to the patch of hobbled rocks and as they approached Rey realized that little rock houses were perched at the top of the island.
They landed without delay and instantly Rey grabbed her things so she escape the confines of the ship. She realized this was definitely the place from her vision as the aroma of the salty sea drifted to Rey's nostrils – never before had she smelled something so pleasant and refreshing. Ahch-To seemed to be a planet of a never ending ocean, which was unlike anything Rey had ever experienced on an exclusively desert planet.
The young Jedi's bones were almost aching to explore her new environment, but she noticed how languid Ben was packing up his things. Her partner's stalling was being more transparent by the minute. Rey closed her eyes momentarily as she called upon the Force. Rey's breath hitch in her throat as she could feel the presences of another much more powerful Jedi – her heart fluttered, for she knew Luke Skywalker was near.
[A/N]: Hey guys, I'm not going to lie, I'm not sure how I finished this chapter so quickly. But it's nice to have a chapter done early for a change and it was pretty long which surprises even me.
I just wanted to give a special thanks to megumisakura, bhut, Sabrino21, Stephycats7785, SaintsFan1, firerosedreamer67, gabysweet10, waterlily91, DiamondSapphire, Nila, LovetheKlaroline, Katrina, tacker23, LadyRedStar, kat, Sheean Kushiashi, Mistyeyesc, SaskeIsReading, cmol8806, and all you other guests who have been kind enough to review and give me your feelings and thoughts of the story.
Please, please tell me what you thought of the chapter, I hope this chapter was better than the last few since there is a little bit of trouble stirring. Next chapter will be from Ben's perspective, such involve them meeting Luke Skywalker finally! Thank you for taking the time to read! :)