Crazy trouble with love
Jack and Morrgana
Series: Samurai Jack
xxxxxxxxxxxx
A lone male with white robes on, a straw hat over their head, and a sword on his handle walked across the land before he stopped at seeing several large wooden trunks in the ground with numerous ropes tied to them that lead up to a large archway.
He surveyed the bridge before seeing that's it's safe, barely, and started to cross it. He saw a thick fog up ahead and tried to ignore the creaking of wood beneath his sandals while trying to avoid the temptation to look down.
As minutes turned into hours and then days, he continued on into the dense fog. On the umpteenth day he heard the sound of a loud bellowing of some kind from the direction he was heading towards.
He stopped and looked up from under his hat as the silhouette of a figure was coming towards him with the sound getting louder.
As the figure came so did the sound of the bellowing, which happened to be a red and green bag like thing with pipes coming from the sides of it. The person holding it was a woman with orange hair done in a ponytail with bangs around the sides of her face with a black blouse that strained against her rather endowed chest with white shoulder parts and a blue pouch around her waist that looked like a dangerous cat, with a plaid skirt over her legs, one of which was a normal one in a black high heeled boot and the other a similar weapon to take the place of the other leg. On her back was strapped a large sword that seemed to have edges on both sides.
She continued to walk and play the pipes until coming to the center of the bridge.
Jack covered his ears to try and block out the sound as the girl took notice of him, but kept playing. She then stopped the piping and grinned at Jack's expression of annoyance. "By the look on your face I can tell you like the pipes, wee laddie."
"Please, I don't mean to interrupt, but am I close to the end of this bridge?" asked Jack rubbing his ear with his finger.
"No, far from it. I've been traipsing across this bridge for days now." replied the woman.
"Seems I have a long way to go still. I should be on my way." Jack said. He tried to move forward but stopped. "Excuse me."
"What do you expect me to do?"
"Just stand aside." replied Jack in a calm tone.
"And risk falling over the side for a perfect stranger? Away and bow your head. You stand aside!" she frowned.
"My destination lies at the opposite end of the bridge. spoke Jack trying to get through to her.
"And you'll get there after you back up and I reach that end of the bridge first." she pointed behind him without moving.
Jack turned back to where he came from to look at the thick fog. "That would waste too much time and time is what I don't have."
The woman glared at Jack. "So you think you're better than me because you're in a hurry? Well, I'm in a hurry too! But, no, you did not think of that, did you? That I might be an equal. No! You just consider yourself superior, right off. You're rude." she frowned pointing him in the face.
"You mistake my comment, ma'am."
"Do I? You think I'm dumb too?"
"No, I.. Look, we are both in a hurry. So I shall hang from these planks and you may walk over." he proposed.
"So you can get a peek up my kilt?" she blushed with a glare at him.
"That is not what I am suggesting." he replied with a blush of his own at his wrong choice of words.
"So you say, you plucky-faced hing-oot!" She said with a grin.
"What did you call me?" he asked with confusion and a little bit of frown.
"So you're deaf too, you clagtail cuddie dreik! I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We'll fight for it, to the finish." she declared with a hand on her hip.
"I do not think there is any need to-" he tried to explain.
"Listen, you boony blathering numpty. The only way for you to get across this bridge is to beat me in combat! Now, are you a man, or a worthless blate like I know you are?"
Jack kept a calm expression.
"I'm calling you a coward!" she glared leaning in and touching his hat.
"I fear no woman." replied Jack with a steely expression in his eyes.
"That's some tough talk coming from a man who wears a basket on his head! I carry my haggis in a basket." she taunted with her eyes closed. "You might even make me shiver if you weren't dressed in a nightgown. You look like my nanny! You call that thing dangling off your hip a sword? Looks like a butter knife. You'll not hurt anyone, wielding a piece of tinfoil around. You'd be better off using your slippers for a weapon."
Jack narrowed his eyes at the disrespect for his blade.
"This is a sword!" she reached back and drew the large blade out of its sheathe before holding it forward. " And it's bigger than yours.
"What do you think of that, Mr. Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face Slipper-Wielding, Clype-Dreep-Bachle Gether-Upping-Blate-Maw, Blethering, Gomeril Jessie, Oaf-looking, Schooner, Nyaff, Plookie, Shan, Milk-Drinking Soy-Faced Shipit, Mim-Moothed, Sniveling, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-Baugh ViIe-Stoochie, Cully-Breek-Tattie."
Jack slid his sword out with a thumb and pulled it out just as the woman swung down and their blades clashed with tension on both sides before it reached down and cut his hat in two and watched both halves fall over the edge.
"Ahahahaha! Aw, you gonna weep now? Shall I pause while you mourn your hat? I can play a melancholy tune to go with your weeping." she boasted.
Jack frowned as she started laughing before doing what he felt was right and poked her bag with his sword, stopping her laughing as both watched it deflate before all the air left it.
"You've done it now." She growled as she threw it over the edge and held her sword with both hands. "I'm gonna turn your head into a flour sifter!"
She raised the blade and swung it down towards Jack who managed to deflect it away with the woman swinging over and over with the samurai either blocking or avoiding the swipes.
Jack smirked and started going on the offensive with his blade clashing against hers with equal strength as both kept swinging at the other with neither blade budging or neither person showing any openings.
"Aye, you got a lot of pep for a wee laddie." smirked the woman as they stared each other down before separating and resumed their blades meeting each other.
Jack finally jumped up with a cry and swung down, only for the large sword to block it and surprisingly remain in one piece.
"The horse-cut technique should've destroyed your sword." remarked Jack in surprise.
"Magic runes, laddie! All them fancy moves will get you nowhere." She grinned before reading her sword, which was covered in nordic runes. "Now, quit your jumping around and get to fighting! Prepare to meet your doom!"
Both kept at the sword fight as the time moved faster than anticipated with the night coming and going, and both of them panting while sitting on the bridge and drained of energy.
"I'll give you one more chance to give up." She panted.
"I am not defeated." Jack said while trying to hold his sword up "And I shall hold my ground."
"Hold your ground? You can barely hold your sword." she mocked with a pant.
"Then come get me." challenged Jack with a knowing smirk.
She grinned before sitting down on the bridge.
"What? I-" Jack said before getting cut off by the woman's hand.
"Seeing that I'm a sportswoman, I'll give you a moment to recuperate." She said before taking a bit of her top off and sighed. "Much better."
Jack blushed crimson and turned away while trying to avoid from looking over.
"Ya must be an expert swordsman if you could keep up with me and my blade, Gram." She said while sheathing her sword.
"Uh, yes. I was taught how to wield it for years." he coughed. "Um, excuse me, but shouldn't you keep your chest, covered?"
"Aye lad, but I'm too tired to move now." She said while slumping to the boards. "Now where are you from lad? Never saw such clothes in me bloomin life."
"I… am far from home." he looked down with a frown. "My home was once known as Japan, but Aku changed all that."
"Oh him." She frowned. "Looks like...wait, Japan? That's older than my entire clan's history." She then turned and looked at Jack in surprise. "You're...not a blooming ghoul, right lad?!"
"A what?" Jack looked at her in confusion.
"A demon, a ghost and that load of hogwash." She said. "You're not one of those things right?"
"No, I am nothing like that. I am completely human. But I am not exactly from this time period."
She looked at him like he was completely mad. "Right and Aku's a tree with blooming time powers."
"Actually, strange it might sound, he is the one who sent me into the future. My sword," he held it up. "Was forged for the sole purpose of ending his existence."
"WHAT!" She yelled before grabbing his robes and shook him around in rage. "YOU TRAT! WHY DIDN'T YOU KILL HIM BEFORE YA PLUCKY-FACE HINOOT!"
"I tried!" spoke Jack trying to get her to let go of his robes.
She stopped shaking and glared at Jack. "Then what stopped you from ending the bastards life you tarrie?"
"I was this close to plunging my sword into him, but he managed to send me into the future at the last second before I could." he frowned. "If I was just a second quicker, he would have been vanquished for good."
"Yea," she sighed. "I can see you were tricked by the wanker." She chuckled. "Can't say I blame ya, lost me leg from not looking where the giant fireball was heading."
"I am sorry to hear that."
"It's fine." She said. "But ya need to learn how to block out trickery or Aku might send ya into a black abyss or some other nonsense."
"Believe me, the next time I see him, I will end him once and for all."
She laughed. "I like ya spirit laddie." She then thought of an idea. "Oi, nitpicker, why don't we join forces?"
"What?" spoke Jack in surprise.
"Ya heard me." She grinned. "Let's join forces and get ya home. And kick Aku's kister along the way."
Jack blinked before his expression turned serious. "This I cannot accept."
She frowned. "Oh, so just because I'm a woman that you think I should stay away. Bloomin sexist."
"No, it's not that at all." he held his hands up. "You are truly a skilled woman, but it's not your gender that I must refuse your offer."
"Then what ya trat?" She growled. "Because for your information I'm better skilled at many things then your skinny ass."
Jack tried to ignore the comment and stood up with a determined look. "Because for years, I trained to earn the right to wield this blade as it is my destiny to stop Aku's tyranny. And…" he closed his eyes and looked at the bridge sadly. "I must avenge my family and home."
"Like my ancestors." She said sadly. "Old Olof the fire eater. Tried to stop Aku, and was turned into a stone demon for it." She then turned determined. "Destiny is just a load of sheep liver! If ya need to avenge yourself for country and home," she placed an arm around his neck. "You got ya a companion, and I'll not take no for an answer ya trat."
"Uh, well…..if you insist." he relented before blushing. "Um, could you, perhaps, put your blouse back on?"
"In a few." She laughed. "But I'm still cooking here, plus," she grinned and whispered into Jack's ear. "It's better to distract ya enemies if ya do something unexpected."
'Well, this certainly would distract most.' he thought while looking away and noticed the bridge seemed to be rumbling under their feet.
"Ah great. Company." She groaned in annoyance. "Looks like this will be a short battle right laddie?"
"Halt!" Yelled several robots with weapons drawn. "In the name of Lord Aku."
"It would appear Aku's forces have tracked me." frowned Jack holding his sword up in front of him.
"Well that's," She grinned while taking out her sword. "More fun for us laddie."
"Desist or perish." They called out as the lasers charged up.
Jack and the Scotswoman shared a glance and nodded before leaping at the robots on both sides.
"Fi-" the robot yelled before being cut in half as the other robots started to open fire at them.
"AHA!" The woman laughed as she sliced about five robots in succession. "This is better than cutting bloomin bears with a spoon!"
"That sounds rather gruesome." remarked Jack slicing a robot's head off and kicking it to the others and causing the robot to fall back and blast some behind it, which caused a small flame to land on the bridge railing.
"Crap!" She yelled. "We need to get of the bridge now! This here waters crawling with sea serpents!"
Jack nodded and was about to run, but they saw the rope cut and the bridge started going down.
"Die!" A robot yelled before getting hijacked by both Jack and the Swordswoman. "Error too much weight!"
"Oi! I'm not that heavy!" She yelled while cutting its arms off. "Now get to flyin!"
The robot showed signs of panic before flying to the other side of the bridge at record speed. "Aku will have your souls….error can not compute manor of soul." It said before short circuiting and crashing onto the soft ground as the two humans jumped off and ran from the ensuing explosion.
"Aye." She said watching the flames engulf the robot. "We make a good team lad."
"I admit, it was rather impressive." he smiled.
"Agreed." She laughed. "Now that that's over, let's start with ya name."
"Well, many have called me Jack in this time."
"But what's ya real name?" She said while looking annoyed. "I can't keep calling ya lad all the time."
"Well, my full name could be considered Jack Yamamoto."
"Much better. And as for me," she grinned. "The names Morrgana McCullan. The greatest Swordswoman in the highlands."
"Well Morrgana, shall we?" he gestured to the path up ahead.
"Only if ya buy me a spot of ale." She joked while gesturing Jack to go first.
"I am not familiar with that type of drink, I insist." he gestured again.
"It's stronger than anything ya drunk, no I insist." She grinned while gesturing again to let him go first.
"Perhaps I will try it, you first."
"No you first Jack."
"I insist, you first Morrgana."
"You first."
"You go right ahead of me."
"No, you are going ahead of me."
"I believe you should lead us."
"You're the one with the mission. This, you first lad."
And so it ended up with both constantly insisting the other go first.