Christian's POV

It's been a long night. I've spent the past couple hours in the ER with my daughter. I can't believe she was starving herself. I've been so consumed by pain and anger, I've failed to notice that she wasn't eating enough. I've always been on her about that, making sure she ate enough for breakfast and dinner, and lunch if I were with her during the day. She was always so small and skinny so I often worried about her not getting enough nutrients. I've always insisted that she and Natalie be sat next to me for meals for that reason, so that I can monitor how much they eat. But lately I've been shutting Phoebe out and not paying attention. I can't do that anymore. She needs me and I need her to be alive.

I'm grateful that Taylor had dropped off pajamas for her to change into. It took some time for the second drip to finish and she had fallen asleep. I stayed awake and sat with her the entire time. I had to convince my stubborn wife to go home and look after herself and the baby that is inside of her. She needs her sleep more than I do.

We arrive home around two in the morning and Phoebe is more or less still asleep. I walk into the house behind her with my hands on her hips to guide her and make sure she doesn't fall. She didn't want to be carried, but I decide that she needs to be once we reach the bottom of the stairs. She is not awake enough to handle the steps. She doesn't fight me when I cradle her in my arms and climb the stairs. I notice right away when I lift her that she is lighter than I remember. Once we are in her room I tuck her into bed and sit in the chair beside her. I'm not sure how long I sit and watch her, but as I start to doze off I wake with a jolt when a hand touches my shoulder.

I turn around to see my wife standing behind me in her night gown and robe. She is holding her pregnancy belly with her other hand. She runs her hand down my arm and takes my hand into hers. "Come to bed" she says to me softly. I almost don't believe it since she hasn't allowed me into our bed the past few nights. She says it again. "Please come to bed Christian."

I turn and look at Phoebe. She is sleeping peacefully. She should be out for the next few hours. I stand and follow my wife into our bedroom.

After I brush my teeth and change into pajama pants I join my wife in bed. She is lying on her side facing me. She shouldn't be awake, but I'm kind of glad she is. I need her. I lie on my side and stare into her beautiful blue eyes. I've missed those eyes. They are so full of love and hope, but at the same time I also see fear and pain. I know I'm the cause of that. I can't imagine what she sees when she looks into my eyes. We don't exchange words. We just lie and stare at each other. It's nice. Just having her here with me. And to think I almost messed this up forever. Lying here with her gives me hope that we can fix everything that's happened.

"A penny for your thoughts" she says to me, stealing my line. I can't help but smirk at her. But the smirk is quickly replaced by a frown. I know I need to tell her about my nightmare, not to make her feel bad, but to let her in on something that's been haunting me.

"The other night, when I was sleeping in my study, I had a nightmare." I can't lie like this on my side anymore. I sit up and bring my knees up and rest my elbows on them. Ana sits up and joins me.

"What was it about?" She starts rubbing my back. I love her hands on me. They are so soothing.

"It was more like a flashback. That time in my office when Phoebe was six months old, and Marks tried to take her. He had a gun." I take a moment to breathe as I recall one of the days from my life that I'd rather forget. I run both of my hands through my hair before I continue. "He had her in one arm and he was holding the gun with his other hand. He threatened to take her. Taylor came in and we were able to stop him."

"Yes, you were able to stop him" she tries to assure me. "And Phoebe was fine. She didn't know what was happening and she doesn't remember it."

"But I remember it. And I've always felt guilty about her being in danger for even a second." I run my hand through my hair again as I think about the gun. "In the dream, Marks shot Phoebe. That's not how it really happened, so why would it happen that way in my dream?"

Ana continues to rub my back and tries to calm me down. "It's probably tied to the way things have been lately with you and Phoebe."

"You think?"

Ana wraps her arms around me and rests her head on my arm. "You both have a lot of healing to do. Our daughter is still young and immature. She doesn't understand the full extent of what she's done. First by leaving, and then starving herself. She still needs us. She needs both of us, Christian."

"I'm not going anywhere Ana" I say to her softly. I mean it. As angry as I am with Phoebe I can't allow this to go on.

"Good"

I turn my head and look into my wife's eyes again. "It's late, and a certain mother to be needs her rest." I get her to lie down and I kiss the spot between her eyes. "Good night Mrs Grey."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The next morning, Ana is in the kitchen with Natalie when a frantic Phoebe runs in.

"Mom, I've over slept. I'm going to be late."

Even though Phoebe's punishment was to volunteer from eight to four, Phoebe has been getting to the hospital at seven every morning to ensure she is on time. She's also been leaving thirty minutes late. Ana is proud of her for applying herself as a volunteer, even if it is for punishment. She chuckles and walks over to Phoebe to give her a hug. She is still in her pajamas and her hair is a mess. "It's okay Sweetheart. You are not going to volunteer today."

"I'm not?" Phoebe looks so confused and worried. She puts her hands on her head when Ana releases her.

"No, you're not. You need to stay home and rest today. You can go back tomorrow if you are feeling well enough." Ana walks back over to the counter and continues to cut bananas up for Natalie.

"Mom, I'm not supposed to miss any days. Are you sure this is okay?"

Ana looks at her daughter again and can't believe she is panicking about this. She walks back over to her again and puts her hands on her shoulders.

"Phoebe, listen to me. You need to stay home today and rest. And you are going to eat the foods on the list that Doctor Lansing prepared for us." Ana brings her hand to Phoebe's face and caresses her cheek.

"Is Dad going to be mad if I don't go?" she asks softly.

Ana has to fight the smile that is threatening to cross her face. Phoebe is being ridiculous. "No, Honey he's not. We both agreed that you will be staying home. Now why don't you go relax in the main room and I'll make you some tea? Gail will be in shortly and she'll make some breakfast for you."

Phoebe does as she's told and retreats to the main room after Ana gives her a friendly pat on her bottom. She sits on the couch and covers her face with her hands as she breathes. After a while Teddy walks in and startles her when he greets her.

"Sorry, Phoebs, I didn't mean to startle you. Here's your tea."

"Thanks Teddy" she says softly.

"You know you gave us a real scare last night" he says to her.

She looks up at him with her puppy dog eyes. "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to."

"How are you feeling?"

Phoebe takes a sip of her tea and puts it down on the coaster. She shrugs her shoulders. "I guess I feel okay. But Mom and Dad want me to stay home today."

"It's for the best. You need to get some food in you. And you need to start eating properly again, otherwise I'll need to find a way to finish my college education from home so that I can feed you myself."

Phoebe lets out a light chuckle but then turns serious again. "Are you staying home today?"

Teddy sighs. "I'd love to Sis, but I can't. I'm going with Rebecca to the hospital for a round of tests that she's gotta have before her next surgery."

"Do you think she'll walk again?" Phoebe asks sheepishly, not knowing if it was appropriate for her to ask.

"That's the plan" he says. "I have to go and help her get ready. Are you going to be alright?"

Phoebe nods and smiles at him. "Good luck Teddy."

"Thanks Phoebe." Teddy kisses her forehead and leaves the room.

Phoebe takes another sip of her tea and then puts it down again. When she looks up she sees her father with a cup of coffee in his hand and a plate of food in the other.

"Here is your toast and oatmeal. You need to eat all of this" he says to her and then sits on the coffee table to face her.

Phoebe notices that he is wearing his pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. He is usually dressed in his expensive CEO suit and tie this time in the morning. "You're not going into the office?"

Christian shakes his head. "No. You see, I was in the ER with my daughter last night. We got home pretty late, so I think that constitutes some PTO."

"PTO?"

Christian looks up at her. "Paid time off. It was a joke."

"Oh"

"Eat" he softly commands.

"You're letting me eat in here?" Phoebe is surprised because they are never allowed food in the main room.

"Yes for now you can eat in here." He continues to watch her hoping she will eat without him having to coerce her. She has to think it over for a few moments, which makes him nervous. She finally picks up a piece of toast and starts on that. It takes her a while to finish one piece since she takes her time. "Can I ask you something" Christian asks softly after observing her for a few minutes.

"Sure"

"Do you feel hungry?"

Phoebe looks down at her plate in her lap and then shrugs her shoulders. "I guess I feel a little hungry."

"Can you tell me what you are feeling?

Phoebe takes a bite of her second piece of toast while she thinks about it. She chews it slowly just as she did with the first piece. "Sad" she says softly after she swallows.

"What are you sad about?"

Phoebe looks up at her father with a sad expression. "I don't know really. I guess I'm sad that I made you angry, so angry that you stopped talking to me."

Christian looks down at his folded hands and sighs softly. "I am angry with you Phoebe. But shutting you out was not the answer. For that I apologize. I set a really bad example by doing that, and I've also failed to see that you were having a problem with eating." Phoebe grimaces as she looks down at her oatmeal. She knows she won't be able to get out of eating it. She likes oatmeal, but right now she's not in the mood for it. "Is there something wrong with the oatmeal?"

Phoebe shakes her head. "No"

"Then why aren't you eating it?" Christian tries hard to keep the irritation out of his voice.

Phoebe shrugs her shoulders. She gingerly uses the spoon and scoops some into her mouth. Christian gives her an approving nod. After she's finished he takes the plate from her and places it next to him on the coffee table.

"You haven't called me Peanut" she says softly, so softly that he doesn't hear her.

"What?"

"You haven't called me Peanut" she says a bit more clearly. "Aren't you ever going to call me that again?"

Christian breaks eye contact with her and takes a few seconds to answer her. "I don't know."

Phoebe looks down and squeezes her eyes shut as tears escape them. "Are you trying to hurt me?"

Christian continues to keep his voice soft. "That's not my intention." Christian sighs as he looks at his teary daughter. "Phoebe, you need to understand that what you did left a lot of pain and anger inside of me. And I'm having a really hard time letting it go."

"But Dad I said I was….."

"Don't interrupt me" he snaps, but then thinks better of it when he sees her grow more emotional. "I'm sorry, I don't want to snap at you, it's just…. I need you to listen to me and let me say this. And then you can speak. Okay?" He waits for her to nod before he continues. "Phoebe, you know that my mother died when I was at a young age. And you know that life was pretty bad for me around that time. I felt… I felt abandoned by her. That is such a powerful thing. She is the one person I should have been able to count on and she let me down. She gave up and she died. I was a very hurt and angry child for a very long time because of what I went through." Christian takes some time to collect himself before he continues. "When you left, I felt that same abandonment. You have the power to hurt me like that, Phoebe. It made me feel like everything I've ever done for you was for nothing. Everything I've worked for to take care of this family was nothing. That was the pain. And then there's the fear. I was so afraid that I was never going to see you again. That something bad was going to happen to you that I couldn't protect you from. And then there's the anger." Christian's voice becomes stern as he describes his anger. "I'm angry that you seem to lack any appreciation for the life that your mother and I have provided for you. I'm angry that you disobeyed us and did as you pleased without giving it a second thought. I'm angry that you haven't been eating properly and I'm angry at myself for failing to notice."

Christian stands and starts to pace. He runs his hand through his hair as he switches direction. Phoebe is silent aside from her sniffling as tears run down her face. She has pulled her legs up onto the couch and she is staring straight ahead. Christian looks down at her. He doesn't like to see her this way, but he needed to get this out. She needed to hear it.

"Phoebe I'm going to need some time. Things can't just go back to the way they were until we both heal from this." He sits down next to her and watches her nod. "Come here" he says softly. He gently pulls her toward him and holds her while more tears run down her face. She starts to shake and she brings her hand up to cover her face. He holds her head against his chest and rubs his hand up and down her arm.

Once she calms down he releases her and she sits up to dry her tears with her hands. He rubs his hand up and down her back to further calm her. "Why don't you go take a shower, put another pair of pajamas on and then come back and join me for a pajama movie day?"

Phoebe gives him a confused look. "Really?"

"Really. I think we can both use a good sick day."

Phoebe nods and manages a grin at his suggestion. Anytime the kids had to stay home from school due to illness, either Christian or Ana would stay home with them and also wear their pajamas. If the kids were well enough to be out of bed, they would sit in the main room and watch movies all day. Phoebe does as she's told and leaves the room with a sense of hope that things will get better.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

============================
From: Anastasia Grey
To: Christian Grey
Time: Tuesday 11:30am PST
Subject: PTO

Dear Christian,

I hope you are enjoying your PTO with our daughter. Seriously though, how is it going? Are you talking? Is she eating? I know we said we would talk when I get home tonight but I don't think I can wait until then. I'm worried about her and I'm worried about you. Please give me something positive to go on as I slave away at the office.

Anastasia Grey
Worried wife and mother and CEO, Grey Publishing
============================

Christian reads the email on his blackberry and a smile grows on his face. He makes quick work to put his wife at ease.

============================
From: Christian Grey
To: Anastasia Grey
Time: Tuesday 11:35am PST
Subject: Something Positive

Dear Ana,

At the moment everything is calm in the Grey home. I did talk to Phoebe and I did watch her finish her breakfast. Right now she is sleeping with her head on a pillow in my lap. She fell asleep while we were watching a movie. I have a feeling that she hasn't been sleeping well. Looks like we will need to go back to monitoring her sleeping habits. We are watching movies and awaiting your arrival Mrs Grey. Don't work too hard. That's not a request.

Christian Grey
Loving husband and father and CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

Christian looks down at Phoebe and lightly brushes his hand through her hair. This is the most relaxed he has seen her in a while. Right now he just wants to take care of her and help her get well. At the same time he'll need to work to get over the pain that she had caused him. Telling her about it was a good start. He can feel that. That is what is allowing him to be in the same room as her and being this close to her. She now has a better understanding of just how much she has hurt him and she was definitely remorseful about it. She starts to fuss in her sleep like she is having a nightmare. He shushes her and continues to brush his hand through her hair to get her to settle again. She does in time for him to notice that Ana has responded to his email.

============================
From: Anastasia Grey
To: Christian Grey
Time: Tuesday 11:42am PST
Subject: Calm, You?

That sounds too good to be true, but I know you wouldn't lie to me. I think I'll keep Natalie here with me for the rest of the day rather than send her home early with Collins. That way you can focus on Phoebe. I'm very proud of you. You know that don't you? If you don't believe me there are ways that I can convince you.

Have a good day, Mr Grey.

Anastasia Grey
Pregnant and Horny CEO, Grey Publishing
============================

Christian lightly chuckles and immediately responds.

============================
From: Christian Grey
To: Anastasia Grey
Time: Tuesday 11:43am PST
Subject: Not convinced

I will need some convincing, Mrs Grey

Christian Grey
Insatiable CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

Christian leans back on the couch with Phoebe's head still in his lap and looks at the television screen. The movie has ended and is halfway through the credits. He grabs the remote and searches for another movie to watch.