"Stella, Zander! Oh, my God! What's wrong?" I ask, ushering our friends into the apartment. Stella's red-rimmed eyes are puffy and tear laden while Zander is pale and tense. I've never seen the pair look like this. They're always so pulled together.
"It's Avery," Stella mutters.
"Avery?" I ask, shocked.
"What's wrong with Avery?" Tobias asks with a concerned look on his face. We're both troubled by the news that it's sweet, levelheaded Avery who is causing her parents this degree of distress, it's usually the twins.
"Remember when I interrupted you in the middle of the night when Asher was arrested?" Zander asks. How will we ever forget? We learned so much that night … and revealed a lot, too.
"Of course," Tobias says. "Come on. Let's have some coffee and talk." Stella and Zander trudge over and sit down side-by-side at the island, their hands clasped tightly together, their knees touching. I pop a peach cobbler into the oven that I had frozen for just this type of situation while Tobias starts a fresh pot of coffee. When I'm done, I sit down on a neighboring barstool and reach out for Stella's hand, which she grips tightly.
"What about that night?" I ask, trying to remember if Avery's name was even mentioned when I suddenly remember. Zander suspects his daughter is Divergent just like his wife.
"In order to get you to trust me, I told you some dangerous family secrets," Zander says.
"I remember," Tobias says as he puts a mug of hot coffee in front of each of our guests and then slides one in front of me before sitting down himself.
"Thanks," I tell Tobias then turn my attention back to our guests. "You told us that you suspect Avery is Divergent."
"I think she's going to choose a different faction on Monday," Stella chokes. My arms automatically encircle her in a hug while my heart tightens for her. That has to be one of every mother's greatest fears, having your child leave the faction they grew up in. I know Tyler has 14 years before his Choosing Ceremony but I fear that day like it's going to happen tomorrow.
"Why would you think that?" I ask after I let her go.
"I know we aren't supposed to interfere with the choosing process in any way but we needed to make sure that our daughter is safe," Zander says somewhat defiantly. "Stella and I sat her down and told her that we think she's Divergent. She had heard the word before but was confused by its meaning. She thought of divergence as an urban legend." That sounds familiar. Christina's mother used it as a scare tactic with her and Rose growing up. I wonder how many other parents do that.
"We explained what being Divergent meant and told her how dangerous it was for the outside world to find out because there's a huge misconception that hopefully one day will be laid to rest," Stella says, continuing for Zander. "We told her how to hide it not only during the aptitude test but during the simulations but I think we scared her more than we meant to." Tobias and I sit in shocked silence. Two very good friends just confessed to breaking a fundamental law of the city. You don't intervene when it comes to your children's choosing. No one is ever supposed to talk about their test result or how they come about their choice. It's done, obviously, but people don't share that information freely.
"Stella, Zander, you know it's her choice whether she wants to stay or go," I say. I'm surprised how much that statement hurts my heart. Over the past few months I've come to love that girl. I can't imagine this place without her. "She hasn't even had the aptitude test yet. Maybe you're worrying for no reason."
"We know it's her choice. I've been preparing myself for this moment the past 16 years. It's one of the hardest things I've had to personally deal with. I love my children more than anything and the prospect of not seeing them wants to rip my heart out," Stella says.
"You see, Avery is afraid. She doesn't think it's possible to live in Dauntless without her secret being found out. Her mother and I tried to reassure her that it's very much a possibility but she thinks we're telling her that because we're her parents. Stella even told Avery her secret but she just doesn't believe her."
"What do you want us to do?" Tobias asks.
"I know your secret," Stella softly says sounding slightly embarrassed. "Please don't be upset with Zander. We don't keep secrets from each other. It's the one rule we have in our relationship. I would never give away your secret like I know Avery's and my secret is safe with you. That being said, I want you to talk to her. Reassure her like I couldn't."
"Stella," I say but Zander cuts me off.
"We know we're asking a lot," he says. "Talk to her as friends. Tell her about your experiences. Reassure her like we couldn't. Tell her that it may be dangerous but that it is in fact doable because you do it every day. Please." Tobias looks at me for a moment like he has this huge internal struggle battling within him.
"I'll talk to her," he says.
"We'll talk to her," I say, resting my hand on his. "But only so far as to address the danger aspect. As much as I would hate to see Avery go, we can't interfere with her choice. Especially Four and I. If the wrong person ever found out, not only could we lose our roles as leaders but we could be made factionless." The thought of my kids factionless makes me shudder. For as long as I live, I'll make sure Tyler will never have to go back to that desolate life.
"We'll talk to her tomorrow night," Tobias says. "We'll do the best we can to make her understand that we can help keep her safe in Dauntless if that's her choice."
"You might be able to speak to her tonight," Zander says. "She'll be at the Candor or Dauntless party, too."
"Are you guys going?" I ask, excited at the prospect.
"We are," Stella says. She gives me the first smile to cross her face since she walked through the door. "Avery told me that Nathan and Callen will be there also."
"Really," I say. "Zeke and Uriah have been keeping the guest last under wraps. It will be nice to see my uncle and cousin though."
"We see your cousin quite often," Zander says with a huff. "Don't get me wrong. He's a really good kid but I think my daughter has fallen in love and they're getting too serious. I'm not ready for my little girl to be all grown up yet. When I look at her I still picture her in braids. You'll understand how I'm feeling one day when Tessa starts dating."
"That will never happen because I'm not allowing my daughters to date," Tobias says. I know he's joking but the look on his face says he's dead serious. I will admit, I don't like thinking that far into the future. I just want to enjoy the time I have with my children while they're still little because they'll be grown before we know it.
"Where are the kids?" Stella asks with a chuckle. "Napping?"
"They're spending the night with Tris' parents so we can go to the party."
"That's nice of them," she says. I get the cobbler out of the oven when the timer goes off and serve a generous portion topped with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream from the parlor downtown. Tobias freshens everyone's coffee before sitting down to enjoy the treat.
"Did you make this?" Zander asks, a look of bliss on his face.
"Yes, I did," I say. "It's Hana's recipe."
"This is so good, Tris," Stella says. We chat about this and that while we eat the delicious snack. She tells us that she caught the twins getting ready to throw knives at each other last week in the training room. "I swear those two are going to be the death of me. I have zero doubt they'll choose Dauntless when the time comes then we all will have our hands full." She laughs at her assessment of her 11-year-old troublemakers but there's a sadness in her eyes. Her thoughts must have returned to Avery.
"We should get going," Zander says after we finish the peach cobbler. "I have to check on patients in the infirmary before supper. We didn't mean to barge in and disrupt your day, guys. We really appreciate what you're going to do for our daughter. You two are true friends."
"Try not to worry about her," Tobias says. "Tris and I will do what we can to guide her. I have a feeling everything will work out the way it's supposed to." Zander extends his hand to Tobias, and they shake while Stella grabs me up in a warm embrace.
"I'll call you to come over for supper soon," she says. "It's been too long since our last get together."
"I know and I'm sorry," I say. "Things have been hectic."
"Come on, Stella," Zander says with a shine in his eyes of a man in love. I hope Tobias looks at me like that after more than 17 years of marriage. "You can walk me to the infirmary." He holds his hand out to her, and she gladly takes it. Thankfully they look more at ease since they arrived. I can still see the stress of the situation around their eyes but they seem to be taking it more in stride. We stand in our doorway and wave goodbye. Before turning to go back inside, the plain wooden door of apartment 15 catches my eye.
"Shall we check it out?" he asks, seeing what's captured my attention.
"Yeah," I say. "Like you said, it won't hurt to just look." He gives me a breathtaking smile before his lips land on mine.
"Thanks," he says. He quickly retrieves the key from the small black lockbox, and we walk to the door we've passed hundreds of times in the months we've lived in this hallway. We give each other a "here goes nothing" look after taking a deep breath, and he opens the door then steps aside to let me in. I cross the threshold into a nice-sized foyer. There's a sizeable closet on one side and a built-in bench with shoe storage beneath, shelving above, and large black decorative hooks for easy access to coats on the other side. That would be handy. We have to keep our coats and shoes in our bedroom closet at home. In front of us is a pair of solid white French doors that Tobias opens with a dramatic flair, causing me to laugh out loud.
"After you, love," he says, ushering me into the unfamiliar space.
"This place is huge," I say taking in the massive empty room before us. I glance up at Tobias and see that his jaw is hanging open, much like mine is. "How can this place so big?"
"I have no idea," he says. "Let's look around. Hey, I think the floors are the same as the ones in our apartment." I look at the pristine wide plank hand scraped light hardwood floors beneath my feet and nod in agreement. This definitely is the same flooring that we have at home but the color on the walls is different. Ours is a very serene blue; here it's a stark bright white, which I don't like at all. We walk further into what must be the living room. The wall to the right is made up of floor-to-ceiling windows just like at home, the wall to the left has an intricate built-in entertainment center with a gas fireplace in the center, and the far wall is made of the same light brown stone of the exterior of the building.
When we round the corner, we find an elaborate staircase on the left made of the same light wood as the floors. On the right is a huge traditional galley-style kitchen. It's similar to ours yet completely different with the whitewashed oak cabinets and stainless steel industrial style appliances. I'm pleasantly surprised when I see the same white, blue, and strategically placed black tile backslash and matte black quartz countertops though. Maybe that's what reminds me of home. There is a sizeable island in the center of the kitchen that seats four. The half-wall makes a great divider allowing a hallway straight into the dining room. A dining room! I didn't think that would excite me as much as it does. I love our island at home but it would be nice to sit down at a table for a nice family dinner. We walk through the sliding glass panel beyond the dining area into yet another room. The familiar floor-to-ceiling windows are on both outside walls while the third wall has an elaborate built-in bookshelf similar to the one in the living room. The forth wall, which consists of three stationary panels and one moving door is made entirely of a very thick clear glass. The floor is a light stormy blue slate tile instead of the wooden floors of the rest of the first floor.
"What kind of room is this?" I ask as we stand staring back into the dining area.
"I don't know," he says. "What do you think so far?"
"It would need painted," is what pops out of my mouth, surprising me. I can't tell if he likes it or not because he's keeping his expression guarded.
"Does that mean you like what you see?" he asks.
"What's not to like," I say, telling the absolute truth. This place is really nice so far but is it home? "Let's look at the bedrooms. How many are there?"
"I wouldn't be surprised if there were at least five," he says. "This place is massive. If I'm not mistaken, it wraps around Will and Christina's apartment. That's the only way I can figure it's this big. I wasn't expecting this." On the way out of the glass room, I open a door that we overlooked.
"Oh, it's a half bath," I say. I look at him over my shoulder and he nods. I reach back and take his hand and lead him up the stairs. This is really different than any staircase I've seen except for the ornate stairs in the little farmhouse in Amity. Actually, these really remind me of those. We walk up 4 stairs to a little landing, turn right and walk up 12 stairs to another landing, then turn right again and walk up the 4 remaining stairs, finally exiting out onto the second floor. Yeah, I love the stairs.
To the left of where we're standing is a blank wall, to the right a well-lit hallway, and directly in front of us is a closed door. I look up over my shoulder at Tobias, and he nods toward the closed door. Behind the simple gloss white painted door is an oasis: An expansive master bedroom, his and hers walk-in closets that could double as bedrooms if ever needed, an immense en suite fit for royalty, and to top it all off a sizeable space that could be used as a nursery.
"This … is … wow!" Tobias says as we stand in the spacious bathroom. I'm in shock. I have no words. "We better see the rest of the place." This time he takes me by the hand. He practically drags me back through the bedroom, out the door, and down the hallway. We stop at an open room with built-in shelving with adequate space for a computer and room for a couch or a couple chairs. "This must be an office. Notice the built-in filing drawers and desk." I nod. "Let's look at the kids' rooms."
"You have us moved in already?" I ask, meaning to tease him but it sounds harsher than I mean.
"No, that's not what I meant," he says with clear disappointment on his face. I can finally see that he likes this place … a lot. "Can we look at the rest of the rooms?"
"Yeah," I say. We go through three identically-sized bedrooms and a slightly larger one that each have their own en suite bathroom. This is insane. Each step of exploration makes the smile on Tobias' face grow wider. When we open the final door, we look at each other in surprise. There's a washer and dryer so I wouldn't have to haul our clothes back and forth to the laundry but that's not what has us staring. There's a wide black wrought iron spiral staircase leading up to an unexpected third floor. This is a complete shock.
"After you?" he says. I shake my head and he smiles. He hesitantly walks to the steps and slowly ascends them. When he gets to the top, he calls out for me. "Tris, love, you've got to see this." His excitement is contagious, and I suddenly can't wait to see what's at the top of these stairs. When I reach his side, I'm floored by what's in front of me. The room, if you can call it that, is made up of thick panels of glass with a glass ceiling, much like the interior glass wall next to the dining room downstairs. "Isn't this amazing? Look at the view." We stare at the sprawling cityscape for a moment before taking in the immediate area. There are cream colored stucco planters edging the roof for safety but they don't interfere with the amazing view of the city behind them. Tobias pushes the sliding glass panels until one wall opens up onto a cream-colored deck. Above us is a dark wood pergola attached to two wide cream colored stucco pillars covering what looks like an outdoor dining area complete with outdoor kitchen with appliances, a big dark colored stone fireplace with pizza oven, and built-in seating. Behind the glass enclosure, tucked into a private corner is a covered hot tub and what looks to be an outdoor shower. This is … over-the-top. Who in the world had this place built? I look at his expectant face, and I know he's about ready to burst at the seams.
"Can we go home and talk about this?" I ask.
"Of course," he says, still beaming. "I'm glad you're willing to consider it." He takes my hand in his, and we take a final look around the rooftop deck before heading back inside. It really is nice. I can quite easily picture Tobias, Tyler, Tessa, Teagan, and me spending many a night up here as a family. I can also picture hours in the hot tub with my husband, just the two of us. We head back inside and close and secure the sliding glass panels then go downstairs. As we look at each room for a second time, I envision what my life would be like here, and it's a good life. Before long we're side-by-side on the couch in our little apartment.
"You sure are quiet," he says. "What's on your mind?"
"I'm just thinking about that apartment," I say.
"You don't like it," he says. He assumes my hesitancy comes from not liking it but that's just not true.
"I know how I feel," I say. "I want to know what you think. You love it, don't you?" A smile transforms his face, and I can't help myself, I smile, too. When he's this happy, I'm happy.
"I've never felt the way I do about a space as I do about that one. As we walked around, I found myself envisioning stockings hanging on the mantle above the fireplace, toys strewn across the living room floor, family diners at a nice farm-style table in the dining room, lounging with a good book in the glass room after we've tucked the kids into bed … in their own rooms, having cookouts with all our friends on the rooftop deck, making love to my beautiful wife in the hot tub. Four bedrooms is plenty to expand our family if we ever want to. I loved the nursery in the master suite, and it's big enough for two cribs and a changing table so Tessa and Teagan both can stay there." He looks so excited, like a kid on Christmas morning but I watch concern fill his features. "Something's bothering you about that apartment. What is it? Talk to me, please."
"When I first walked into this apartment, I knew I was home. It was an instantaneous feeling that I honestly can't describe," I slowly say, trying to gather my scattered thoughts. Remembering that day brings dampness to my eyes, which I quickly wipe away. "Sadly, I didn't get the same feeling with the other apartment but I promised you that I would look at it and really consider it because we truly do need more space. So I kept an open mind as we walked through, and I can't deny I liked what I saw."
"But it's not 'home?'" he asks. I scoot closer to him and take his face in my hands.
"Tobias Eaton, home is wherever you are," I say using the words he gave me when we picked this apartment. "Well, you and our children. If you want to move there, I say we go for it. The longer we spent there, the more I actually found myself liking what I saw. I even pictured what our life would be like, too." His mouth lands aggressively on mine, taking me by surprise. He really wants that apartment. He pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me.
"I really wish I knew what I did to deserve you," he says, his expression now completely serious. "I'm so lucky, I married my best friend." I smile shyly at him and wrap my arms around his neck and gaze into his darkening eyes. I know what's on his mind.
"When did you marry, Zeke?" I tease and we both laugh heartily. "Seriously though, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. You give me love like I never knew was possible. You've given me two wonderful children and a baby on the way. You give your heart to me every day." A single tear escapes and rolls down my cheek and he kisses it away. "I love you. I love our life." I draw his mouth to mine and kiss him passionately for what seems like hours.
"I love you, too," he says, our lips still moving together as one.
"That was wonderful earlier by the way," I say, kissing the side of his mouth. "I really love looking into your eyes when we make love." I'm peppering butterfly kisses all over his face, and he's grinning. I feel him hardening beneath me, and I pull back and look deeply into his eyes. "You're a naughty boy, aren't you, Mr. Eaton? Only one thing on your mind." A wicked grin slowly spreads over his face and his eyes dance with a devilish glint, and I squeal with delight as he proceeds to show me just what's on his mind.