"Okay," I kiss her neck as I carefully flip us around so Rey's back is on the mattress. "Tell me when you're close," I whisper, as my hand reaches between our bodies. She is already soaking and I haven't touched her, it makes me smirk that she gets so excited so easily. I have to remind myself it's been a month since she left and I can barely hide my desperation too. I kiss Rey's jawline and slowly try and relax her, it doesn't take long for her breath to catch and my name to slip into my hair.
I can tell a few moments before she informs me that if I don't stop my movements this will end a lot earlier than we intended.
I rest my forehead against hers kissing her softly a few times as I run my hand down her leg and wrap it over my back which brings her entrance closer to me. Rey bites her lip and blushes at my control and dominance. I'm throbbing for her and she wriggles with want for me. I kiss her neck again, and her hand reaches between us and she pumps my length for a moment, I groan my kisses become wet and sloppy. I lick and suck at her collarbone and it causes her hips to buck into me and we moan together. I take that as a sign to try again, I pull back so that I can see her dark eyes, begging for me the way I'm sure mine beg for her. I lead myself forward slowly. Rey closes her eyes, holds her breath and I feel the way she tenses under me.
"No, no, Rey," I stop and she pouts, her eyes closed. "Look at me," I whisper, and she slowly opens her eyes, I watch her chest start to rise and fall again and she melts into the mattress. I smile and start to leave small kisses on her swollen lips. "Relax," I whisper so quietly, my voice so deep, that I feel her loosen her tight muscles so quickly that her leg nearly slips off my back, but I catch it and bring it up higher. I stop kissing her and keep my head buried in her warmth. I barely touch her and I moan, Rey is silent, concentrating on keeping her breathing level. I push in and I look at her. Her eyes are pinched closed, I rub her thigh. Her fingers dig into my waist it is as if she is clawing for confirmation that it's me. "I've got you," I whisper, my voice thick, she smiles for a moment. I push a bit further in and the feeling is indescribable. She whimpers and it is louder than she intended, and she opens her eyes quickly to make sure I don't pull away.
"Don't stop," she pleas and her eyes brim with tears.
"Rey..." it's hard to breathe, my mind is cloudy, blurred by the pleasure she is giving me.
"Please," she begs. "Kiss me," I close my eyes, trying not to think about her pain, she knows I can feel it too. I do as she asks and lightly press my lips to hers. She tries to bring me closer to her, pushing me in deeper. I sigh into her mouth and she lets out a shaky moan. I cringe slightly when I push in all the way, a shiver ripples down my spine and I can't seem to move, I'm not sure if I should.
"I love you," I whimper into her, completely still.
"I love you too, but I need you to move because this is getting uncomfortable..." she giggles but it is strained. I capture her bottom lip between mine and suck on it as I reluctantly recede from her before I push in, my lips skim across her face as I bury my head into her hair. My movements are slow and precise. My breathing is shaky as I try to focus on being as gentle as I can, but my mind blurs from the immense pleasure.
Rey holds my face against the side of her neck. "Are you okay?" She breathes heavily.
I can't answer her; I can't even retain her words before they swim out of my mind. The only affirmation I give is a sigh that sounds like a heavy moan while I keep kissing her. I slowly have my way with her and she lets me lead, occasionally she'll move her hips to try and time with my gentle thrusts. One of my hands cups her chest and I massage her and she sighs into the feeling, but I know I'm not making her feel as good as I have before. I kiss her across her jaw before I kiss her, my tongue running over hers. My movements are controlled and slow and I try to make her comfortable. my hand runs along her body, dipping into the curve of her hip and up her thigh which is still on my back.
There is so much I want to say to her in this moment. I want to spill my heart to her. Tell her how much she means to me, that she is beautiful; tell her I'd be nothing without her... But nothing comes out of my mouth besides moans and gasps for air.
I feel perspiration prickle at my skin, as I gently rock my warm body into hers. We rest of foreheads together and I am panting as Rey takes one hand from my face and grasps onto my hip guiding my motions and feeling my muscles move under my skin. Her fingers circle little patterns in a reassuring way and it draws me nearer to the edge. I feel the pleasure creep deeper and lower, and my movements become slightly sloppy.
Rey leans up; I press my forehead against hers and look into her eyes, our hips still rolling together.
Everything seems to slow down.
Rey closes her eyes and I do the same as I lean down and I kiss her lips with such intensity I think I feel the universe shift. I swear that I can hear birds singing on distant planets, and I see the beauty of the galaxies in all their volatile splendour behind my closed eyes. I am almost unaware of the way our bodies still move in a slow rhythm, because this kiss has taken me to an entirely different lifetime. I see the birth of suns, and planets spin, I see stars die and colours swirl together in an endless kaleidoscope of magnificence. After so many kisses and times of intimacy, this kiss is bursting with a new level of passion and worship for each other, and I can't quite believe what is happening. Rey is invading my senses, and I wouldn't want it any other way. Her tongue caresses over mine and I can taste our past; our love, our pain, our desperation for each other. I smell her sweet aroma, which still, after all this time, has the remnants of Jakku; if I wasn't so overcome I would wonder if I still carry the scent of chemicals and sterile surfaces. The feeling of her body beneath me returns, the feeling of her hand which still draws patterns into my waist, and her other buried in my hair as I kiss her. She grips my waist a bit tighter and pushes herself a little closer, pressing her lips harder against mine and bringing me deeper inside her. As I fade back into reality one roll of her hips is all I need to spill my love inside her, Rey's breath catches and she shudders softly.
I pull away from her to look upon her flushed cheeks and red lips. She is breathing deeply she must have felt it too. "Whoa…" She lets her disbelief seep out with her sigh and her eyes flutter closed. I can't hold myself up and I let myself nearly collapse onto her.
"Whoa…" I repeat in the same tone. I puff into her neck as my heartbeat starts to regulate. Rey brings her other hand down my body and grasps the other side of my waist.
"Can you, uh..." Rey lightly pushes against me.
It takes me a moment to realise, "Sorry," I whimper and carefully pull out of her.
As her leg falls from my back she tells me not to apologise. I look between our bodies but Rey quickly places her fingers under my chin and drags my eyes from the sheets.
"I'm fine." Her tone is certain and firm and her eyes search mine, but I close them. I breathe deeply as I try to accept everything that happened. When I open my eyes I look down once more, but she stops me, again.
"Why didn't-" she puts her finger to my lips. "But-"
"Don't say anything," she tries to sit up, attempting not to show her discomfort, but I see it. "Don't look at me like that," She moves both hands to cup my cheeks and her thumbs delicately trace the skin under my eyes, her gentle gesture makes me smile a little. "I love you," she whisper, my smile immediately widens and Rey giggles. "That's better." She repeats the motion and kisses me tenderly. My hands run up and down her sides and her skin rises with small bumps from the cold air that has started to penetrate the warm bubble we'd created together.
"I'm going to have a shower," she whispers and my chest feels heavy. I feel my smile fade as I wonder what I've done wrong, I attempt to speak but Rey speaks first.
"No, I'm not mad at you. Yes I'll be okay. No I am not running away from you. Yes you were amazing. And, yes I'll be quick," she answers all the questions before they form in my mind and she kisses my cheek repeatedly. Rey slowly drags herself to the edge of the bed, internally motivating herself before she stands to her feet. She wobbles and I immediately reach out for her, but she regains her coordination. She goes to the closet and retrieves her night gown and then walks into the ensuite.