Chapter Five: And if you were here with me tonight

"Not all those who wander are lost," J.R.R. Tolkien had written. But for my mother, me and Andy Hargrove, we traveled around the world because my mother wanted to live out all her dreams. Lucas and Peyton and their daughter, Sawyer, had been with us for the greater part of the journey since Sawyer's birth. But then Luke's new novel was due and this nomadic lifestyle wasn't helping him. So he and Peyton went back to the States. They settled down in New York City and my little world full of some familiar people, was empty again. It was around this time, that I asked if we too get to live somewhere for some time. So for six months we lived in a small town called, Blue Hallows. It was there that Andy got a teaching job at the community college, my mother started working as the manager of a local café and I started going to High School in my freshmen year.

Around Two Years Ago

"Good luck at school today," my mother said, giving me a peck on my cheek and handing me my lunch, "Now are you sure you want to do this?"

"As sure as I'll ever be," I said, taking my lunch from her, "Good luck with the café too. Goodbye, mum. See you soon."

It was on the very first day at Blue Hallows High that I met him. The boy who was going to change my life forever.

Joshua Pierce Sangster.

I think from the very first day that we locked eyes with each other, we knew we were going to be bound together, against all odds. He was sitting on one of the outside tables placed in the parking lot nose buried in a book. I would have actually walked past him had it not been for the book he was reading.

He was dressed in a baggy t-shirt and faded blue jeans. His dark brown hair looked quite messed up. As though it refused to lie flat on his head. He looked so calm and serene, as he drank in the words of the book he was reading.

An Unkindness of Ravens. It was the book my brother had written. It documented his life ever since he'd joined the Raven's basketball team in his junior year of high school. In many ways, the game had changed his life. I didn't even know when I'd stopped short right in front of the guy, staring at the book.

He looked up from the book and smiled at me, "I'm guessing this is one of your favourite books?"

"Kind of," I muttered, "I'm new here by the way. What about you?"

"I'm Joshua Sangster," he replied, offering me his hand, "Welcome to Blue Hallows High. You're…?"

"Lily Roe-Scott," I answered, shaking his hand, "What other books do you read, Joshua?"

"You can call me Josh," he said, "And I read all kinds of books, Lily. I thought I'd give this a try. It did get a lot of amazing reviews."

"I'll bet," I said, softly. "So, are you freshmen too?"

"No, I'm a sophomore actually," he answered, "And you're joining the public school system in school? The worst years of people's lives?"

"Well, it was either this or being homeschooled forever," I told him. "Guess what I chose?"

He laughed.

"Well, I guess I'll see you around, Lily," he said, as the bell rang, signaling the start of morning classes and I felt a little less lost in the world.

It was nice to know there was at least one familiar face in the sea of unknown faces. That there was one fifteen-year-old boy who would see me around, when High School got a little overwhelming for this particular freshman girl.

Somedays I like to pretend we spoke for a longer time in our first meeting. Some days, I like to pretend we'd never met. Because Joshua Pierce Sangster had been branded a little too strongly in my memory and on most days, I couldn't shake the feeling that if I had just tried harder, I could've saved him.

Present Day.

I woke up with a jolt as though the ground beneath my feet had slipped away. Almost on cue the backdoor to my room opened and Lucas came in.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," he said.

"Remind me to lock that door!" I said, catching my breath and running my fingers through my hair, "What are you doing here?"

"Umm…I used to live here Lily. This is my house, my old room and…"

But I cut in, "Keyword: old. Don't you have a fancy new house with your beautiful wife, Peyton and a doting little daughter, Sawyer? This is my room now, Luke."

"And I'm your elder brother, Lily. So are you going to tell me why you were wearing jeans during track practice yesterday?" he asked.

"Wardrobe malfunction?" I asked, timidly.

"Lily," and I knew I was in for a lecture but Lucas surprised me by saying, "If you're ever in trouble, you know you can come to me. Don't you?"

"And I'm not in trouble at the moment," I answered, forcing a smile, "I was just too in over my head yesterday. It won't happen again."

He nodded at me and he was just about to leave my room, when the door opened again and Ryan came through yelling, "Okay, Roe-Scott. Enough games. You're going to take me to see Peyton today or…"

He stopped short seeing Lucas was surveying him with narrow eyes. Ryan gulped and asked, "Excuse me. Do I have the right house?"

"You're right, Lily. You really need to keep that door of yours locked," Lucas said, "And who might you be?"

"I'm Ryan Summers. I was in your English class yesterday," Ryan said, sheepishly extending his hand, "I'm really sorry, Mr. Scott. But Lily promised to…"

"Take you to see my wife," Luke said, giving his hand a brief shake.

"Actually, he said he wanted to meet my sister-in-law," I piped up, "So, I kind of took him to see Haley."

"No wonder she was so pleased last night at dinner," Lucas said, more to himself than to us, "Okay. Get yourselves to school."

"Listen, go wait in my mum's café," I said to Ryan, "I'll meet you there before school."

"You better not be lying," he said, as he let himself out of my house.

Lucas went off to meet our mother, and I rather reluctantly came to terms with the fact that I'd have to get dressed and go to school.

I had been in school fulltime just once before this and it was during my freshmen year at Blue Hallows High. The sophomore year, I spent being homeschooled and touring around the country thanks to my mother's wanderlust and Andy's stints as guest lecturers to different colleges. Sometimes I wondered why I thought coming back to Tree Hill would miraculously answer all my problems.

Maybe at a subconscious level I knew I couldn't outrun my problems forever. Maybe I knew no matter how fast I ran, that night, almost two years ago would never let me go. Or maybe I knew that Tree Hill more ghosts and warped up histories than I could even imagine. Maybe it would feel right at home to me. Or maybe, I would finally slow down and see what had happened for what it really was: all my fault.

Author's Note: I am finally trying to mesh up the past Lily had with the present time in Tree Hill. This is more of filler chapter. Mostly to introduce Joshua Pierce Sangster, who you might have guessed plays a huge role in all this. Once again, thank you for the favourites and the follows. And tell me which character would you like to see interact with Lily the most.

The title of this chapter has been take from the song "Hear You Me" by Jimmy Eat World.