I wake up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. My nightmares aren't as frequent as they use to be, but today brings back a lot of the things I had stuffed away in my memory. My dream begins with Trent and I watching tv. I'm about six months pregnant and Trent is still beating me up pretty badly. He asks me to get him a beer, and I said no because my feet are too swollen to walk on. Trent then starts to throw things at me: his empty beer bottles, the vase on the table, basically anything he could get his hands on. I try to shield myself but it doesn't help. I wake just as Trent starts to approach me.
I look over at my clock; it says five in the morning in blinking numbers. I get up and grab my robe. I stare at my naked body in the mirror; I have so many scars that will never heal. I step into the steaming hot shower and let it relax my muscles. I know why I'm tense. It's because of what I told Justin last night. I had broken down, something I've tried not to do. I hope he doesn't tell our family; I don't need anymore problems.
I put on a long-sleeved, tan cashmere top with brown corduroy pants and cowboy boots with gold hoops in my ears. I dry my hair and curl it, putting on makeup afterwards. By six in the morning, I'm ready to go. I leave the apartment and start walking to the café for my morning coffee. It is just something I couldn't live without. I also pick up a muffin for Lexi and green tea for Justin. The stuff smells too nasty to even think about drinking.
I get home to find that nobody is up yet. I sneak into Lexi's room and sit in her reading chair, and no, I don't know where she got the reading thing from. I watch my little angel sleep. Lexi is definitely growing up and turning into a mini-me. It's very entertaining to watch who I was. I pray to God no Trent shows up in her at any point. When the clock strikes seven, I jump onto her bed.
"Good morning, sweetie!" I shout to my startled little girl. She just stares at me for a minute before giving me a wide smile.
"Morning Mommy!" Lexi answers cheerfully. She's always a morning person no matter what.
"Lexi, do you want to go surprise Uncle Justin?" I ask her, a devilish grin on my face. She picks up on what I'm saying and nods her head excitedly. I pick her up and we creep quietly into Justin's room. He is sprawled all over the bed, his boxers bearing pictures of little leprechauns on them. I immediately take pictures just in case they come in handy. Old habits do die hard. I count to three, and we bounce on Justin.
He wakes up and shrieks like a little girl. "Good morning, Uncle Justin!" we both shout at the top of our lungs. Justin groans.
"Go away," he mumbles into his pillow. I raise an eyebrow at Lexi. She nods. We each grab a foot and yank Justin out of bed. "Ow!" he shouts, now fully awake.
"Now that you're awake, there's green tea for you in the kitchen and cereal in the pantry. Help yourself." I tell my brother causally. He glares at me before stomping off into the bathroom to get dressed.
I turn to Lexi. She's still in her fairy pajamas. "Sweetie, do you want to pick out your own clothes this morning?" I ask sweetly. She loves experimenting with outfits and has an eye for what works and what doesn't.
"Yes!" Lexi shouts eagerly. She is already bouncing up and down, and she hasn't even had breakfast yet.
"Okay, go pick out an outfit. And try to be quiet. Uncle Justin is still waking up." I instruct my daughter gently. Lexi just shakes her head and skips back to her room. I go into the kitchen and get out three bowls and a box of Fruit Loops. I like the sugary cereal, and Lexi likes the birds on the box. It's a win-win situation.
I'm drinking my coffee and reading the Arts section of the newspaper when Justin walks into the kitchen. He's dressed in a blue, button-down shirt and nice khakis with shiny loafers. My brother still dresses like a dork five years later. Time has not changed him. "Hey, Alex," he greets me nonchalantly. Justin sees that I'm reading the newspaper and raises an eyebrow. "Alex Russo is reading the newspaper. Someone alert the media!" he shouts playfully. I shoot him my death glare. It's been know to scare off many people.
"Ha ha. You're hilarious. And for your information, I was reading the Arts section." I reply with a roll of my eyes. I was looking for the article about my gallery. I'm too nervous to read it, though.
Justin picks the section I was reading and reads the review out loud. "Waverly Gallery, while a stupid name, is becoming one of the most popular galleries in Chicago. The feel is funky and original, a breath of fresh air from so many of the stuffy galleries in this city. This has a lot to do with the owner, Alex Russo. Her work is utterly breathtaking, and the other artists she features are phenomenal. A good example would be up and coming artist Quinn Truman, also a close friend of Ms. Russo. Ms. Russo definitely has a skill for finding artists other galleries wouldn't take a second look at and giving them a place to showcase work. Waverly Gallery has a long and successful future ahead of this. Max Giverny, the Chicago Post." I stare at the paper, shell-shocked. I never thought I'd be this good at anything. Growing up with Justin as your brother definitely gives you an inferiority complex. Luckily, I got over it.
"Wow, Alex, this is amazing!" Justin shouts excitedly. Lexi comes running out of her room dressed in a red shirt, white jeans, and sparkly shoes.
"What's going on?" she asks curiously. Lexi also inherited my love of chaos. That's why I could never live in a suburb. It's too boring; I need the sounds of people talking and cars roaring down the street just to sleep at night. That's what happens when you grow up in New York City.
"Mommy's gallery is in the newspaper," I tell her cheerfully. Lexi starts to do a happy dance. I laugh at my daughter twirling around the apartment. I turn on the radio to a popular station. I pick up Lexi and we start to dance. Justin just stares at us, his expression showing amusement.
"Uncle Justin, come dance with us!" my little girl demands forcefully. Justin raises his hands up in mock surrender and makes his way over to us. He starts do some alien dance moves, and we laugh at him.
Once my arms start to get tired, I put Lexi down and turn down the music. There's a knock on the door. Justin gets up to get it while I make sure Lexi has all the stuff she needs to go over to Tommy's for a while. Sometimes, I feel bad for that kid, but then I realize it's really helping him in the long run.
When I turn around, I see a crying Quinn. She looks so helpless, with red eyes and a frown. Justin looks uncomfortable; he just steps to the side and goes to entertain Lexi. I run up to my friend and give her a huge hug. I let her sob into my shoulder as long as needed. It feels like I'm paying her for all the times she's comforted me.
"Quinnie, what's wrong?" I ask worriedly. Quinn usually so happy and bubbly; it scares me to see her like this.
"Wren is marrying her. He's marrying Amanda." she manages to say while crying. I nod my head understandingly. Wren is Quinn's first love and the guy she never really got over. They were together three years and almost got married when his dad died. Wren had to take over the family business and decided to upgrade, or downgrade the way I look at it. He dumped Quinn for Amanda, and she never really got over it.
"It'll be okay," I try to comfort Quinn while she cries some more. She calls Wren some choice words and goes on about all his negative properties. I go to the liquor cabinet and pour her a glass of wine. She accepts it graciously.
Lexi runs over to Quinn and pats her on the back. "Everything will be okay, Quill," she says reassuringly. Quill is Lexi's nickname for Quinn since she couldn't say Quinn when she was two. My little girl takes her stuff bunny out of her bag and hands it to Quinn. "Mr. Whiskers will make you feel better."
This makes her smile, and she hugs Lexi. "Thank you, squirt. I feel a lot better now." Quinn replies softly. Lexi beams and skips back into the kitchen.
"Okay, we are having a night out tonight. I'll call everyone and let them know. You need this." I state firmly. Quinn's smile grows stronger.
"Well, I do have a brand-new, gorgeous silver halter just sitting in my closet.." she trailed off happily.
"That a girl. Make sure you look hot. We are finding you a guy." I tell her mischievously.
Quinn groans. "Fine," she agrees reluctantly. She points at Justin. "Is he coming?"
"If he wants to," I reply casually. Justin shrugs indifferently. "I'll take that as a yes then."
"Okay, we'll meet at Monty's at eight. Bye!" Quinn shouted as she left the apartment. Justin looked over at me, a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes at him and continued eating my breakfast. Now I had something to look forward to today.
"So, am I ever going to see this gallery?" Justin asks teasingly. I know he's secretly dying to see it because he's still my noisy older brother, no matter how much things have changed.
"I'm leaving right now if you want to come with me," I offer calmly. Usually I left for the gallery earlier in the day, but I had one of my employees open up so I could spend time with Lexi and Justin.
"Sure," Justin answers, his eyes full of bewilderment. We left the apartment, letting the silence occupy the air as we walked. Justin still seemed to be trying to figure out how I became a responsible adult with genuine feelings and compassion for others. If he finds out, I hope he lets me know. I still haven't figured that out yet myself.