It is a short walk to Alex's gallery. She keeps asking me questions about our family. I think it is partially out of curiosity and partially to avoid any questions I'm going to ask her. I have to admit, my sister is still at the top of her game.
"So, are you seeing anyone right now?" Alex asks coyly. I say nothing, leaving her to assume the obvious.
"Seriously? You're still hung up on Juliet? That was a million years ago. Get over it." Alex urges me, her eyes already scheming.
"She was the love of my life, Alex," I explain simply. She snorts loudly.
"Love of your life? You don't actually believe in that crap, do you?" Alex asks, her typical cynicism there. Today, though, I could detect a trace of something else. Bitterness maybe. That worries me more than anything. My sister may be a lot of things, but bitter isn't one of them. Or, at least it never use to be.
"What happened to the Alex who liked to sketch out a fairytale world for herself?" I challenge her. Something makes me wonder if my sister has forgotten who she was. I think she needs a little reminder.
Alex stares at her own reflection while answering. I don't think she can handle looking me in the eyes. You can see all of Alex's emotions through her eyes, like an open book. "That girl gave up."
This line out of my sister mouths frightens me to no end. This sister I grew up with is a fighter and always has been. Hearing her say she's given up on something is a breaking point for me. "What are you still scared of, Alex?" I ask gently. Alex just shakes her head and starts to cry. I just hug her until she's able to talk again.
"Everything. Love especially." Alex answers honestly. "But mostly him." I motion for her to explain more. "Even though I'm almost positive he has no clue where I am, I still wake up terrified for my life every day. I'm afraid to live this city because I think he'll track me down. I've been looking over my shoulder for five years."
"He's not here. You're safe now." I reassure her. Alex only nods and wipes away her tears. We approach a medium sized building I assume is her gallery. We walk inside, and I immediately fall in love with all the art in it. I approach one particular painting that is one of the front of the Sub Station. It's done in perfect detail, almost as if copied from a photograph. "Hey, did you paint this from a photo?" I ask my sister curiously.
"No, all my pictures like that are from memory," Alex answers nonchalantly. I gape at her.
"How do you do that?" I ask incredulously. Alex just shrugged indifferently.
"I've walked into the Sub Station a million times. It's not that hard to paint it from memory. Plus, after we moved here, all I could think about was home. Everything was clear in my mind." she confesses.
I look around her whole gallery and am extremely impressed. Alex, my slacker sister that nobody thought would amount to anything, is now a well-known artist and gallery owner. Everyone knew that Alex was destined to be an artist except for Alex. It is the only thing in her life she ever took seriously.
I turn to my sister and ask, "Will you and Lexi come back to New York with me?" Alex looks at me, her mouth wide open.
"I don't know, Justin…" she trails off, her expression full of worry.
"Come on, what do you have to lose?" I ask her with a raised eyebrow.
"I don't know," Alex answers honestly. I can take a good guess of what her fears are.
"They won't hate you for keeping Lexi a secret once you explain," I reassure Alex, who is on the verge of tears.
She looks like she's deep in thought. After a few minutes, Alex answers. "Okay, we'll go." Before I start to get too excited, she adds, "But only for a few days."
"That's fine," I reply, secretly jumping up and down inside. Alex just rolls her eyes at me.
"Let's go. Quinn will kill us if we're late." she says with a laugh. I glance around at her gallery, memorizing the look at describe to everyone later. We start walking back to her apartment.
The first thing Alex does is go get Lexi. The little girl runs up and hugs me after getting in the apartment. "Miss me, squirt?" I ask playfully.
Lexi shakes her head furiously before following her mother out of the room. I follow the two girls into Alex's room. "Lexi, do you want to help Mommy pick out an outfit for tonight?" Alex asks her sweetly.
"Yes!" the little girl shouts, her voice nearly shattering my eardrums. Lexi starts to rummage through her mother's closet. After a few minutes, she pulls out a purple halter dress. "Wear this," she commands.
Alex raises an eyebrow. "Any reason you picked this particular halter?" she asks Lexi suspiciously. Her daughter only shrugged.
"Beck told me he loves you in purple," the little girl admits while batting her eyelashes innocently. I chuckle but stop when Alex sends me a death glare.
She doesn't respond to the comment. Instead, Alex finds a pair of skinny jeans to go under the dress. Lexi picks out some cute purple flats and some accessories for her mom. I am impressed by the little girl's good taste; she seemed almost too old for her age. My sister leaves the room to go change.
When Alex comes back, I notice a scar on her shoulder blade. It looks like glass cut her. I think of all the scenarios in which Alex could've gotten that and cringe. She notices me staring at it and sighs. She walks over to me and whispers, "He threw a beer bottle at me. I needed nine stitches." Alex turns to her daughter and says, "Lexi, why don't you go watch some cartoons? Spongebob is on." On that note, the little girl runs out of the room.
My sister turns back to the mirror and sighs. She puts her hair into a high ponytail, revealing more of her scars. Alex turns to me, her eyes vacant. "See these?" She points to her scars. "These will haunt me the rest of my life. They'll always be there, mocking me. Making me feel worthless."
I try to comfort Alex. "Scars fade," I reply sincerely. She frowns at me.
"My doctor said they won't fade anymore than they already have. I'll always have reminder with me." Alex responds remorsefully.
I try to change the subject. "You look beautiful, Alex. That Beck dude won't know what hit him." This makes her smile momentarily.
"Thanks," Alex answers with a soft smile. "Oh, and talk to Jamie tonight. She's Quinn's twin. You guys would really hit it off." I just nod as Alex steps out of the room.
Lexi runs up to both of us. "Mommy, kiss!" the little girl demands. Alex just laughs and kisses her daughter on the cheek. Lexi turns to me and says, "You too, Uncle Justin." I just kiss her forehead and carry her over to Tommy's. I can tell my sister isn't strong enough. We say goodbye and start walking outside. I'm blabbing on about something while Alex is just walking in silence.
I stop and ask her, "Since when can you be quiet this long?" It's almost unnerving. Alex always use to be talking or scheming. It was almost like I was talking to a stranger.
She just shakes her head and responds, "People change, Justin." I think about this the whole way to the club, trying to decipher its meaning. But, maybe something things aren't meant to be figured out.