I wake up the next morning with a terrible hangover. I don't know how many shots I did last night, but I have a feeling it was one too many. I hear a creak and look up. My brother is carrying a tray into my room, a dopey smile on his face. I automatically know that he hit it off with Jamie. Justin would never bring me breakfast with a good reason. "What's this?" I ask Justin with a raised eyebrow.
"Well, there's chocolate chip pancakes, sausage, orange juice, and Aspirin," Justin responds, avoiding the true context of my question.
I roll my eyes. "I know what's on the tray, dumbass. I was wondering why you were bringing me the tray." I answer sarcastically. Justin gives me a look. "I watch way too much That 70s Show," I explain to my confused brother.
"Why do I need a reason to bring my sister breakfast?" Justin shoots back. I give him a you've-got-to-be-kidding look. "Okay, it's a thank you for introducing me to Jamie."
"Ha! I was right! You and Jamie are meant to be!" I shout victoriously as I dig into my pancakes. They are delicious, the taste lingering on my tongue. "Oh god, these are awesome!"
Justin chuckles. "Yeah, they're probably soaking up all these shots of tequila you did last night." My memory of last night slowly drifts back to me. Quinn was really upset, and I had cheered her up by doing shots. She'd insult Amanda, do a shot, and insult Amanda again. At one point, we even went alphabetically with our insults. The drunker we got, the sillier the insults got. I also vaguely remember making out with someone.
"Oh yeah! That explains the hangover." I say with a smirk. "Wait, who did I make out with last night?"
Justin laughs again while I glare at him. "Beck. You two were all over each other like horny teenagers." I give my older brother an innocent smile. "I guess you know your little sister has grown up when she's drunkenly grinding her boyfriend on a dance floor." Justin ducks when I chuck a pillow at him.
"He's not my boyfriend!" I screech like a thirteen year old girl. Finally, Justin sits there quietly while I finish my breakfast. I get the feeling something's not right. "What's up, Justin?" I ask after setting my tray aside.
He looks surprisingly nervous. "Well, um…" Justin trails off. I give him a tell-me-now-or-die look. "I forgot to tell you we're going to New York today." This throws me completely off guard. I feel like I should be mad, but I'm really not. It's hard to mad when someone's suggesting something you actually want to do. I've considered going home a million times but have always found ways to convince me out of them. Most them usually were about protecting Lexi. Now that Justin knows my secret, I feel like I'd be protecting her even more by introducing her to my family. In my worst nightmare, Trent actually tracks us down and kills me, hopefully only minorly injuring my daughter. It makes sense in my head; Trent would only be mad at me for leaving. If there's anything I still know about Trent, it's that, drunk or sober, he doesn't believe in revenge against someone who hasn't hurt me. Plus, he just isn't smart enough to understand that I value Lexi's life over my own. After all, it's the main reason I left.
I can tell Justin is waiting for my response. "Okay," I respond softly. I get up out of bed and slip on my slippers, grabbing the robe that Lexi gave me for Christmas last year and putting it on. I walk into Lexi's room, a befuddled Justin following close behind. I look at my sleeping daughter for a moment before gently shaking her awake. "Lexi, wake up," I coo softly. "Baby, you got to get up. We have a big day ahead of us."
"What are we doing today, Mommy?" Lexi asks excitedly, her curiosity evoked. She leaps up out of bed, throwing the blankets off of her.
"We're going to New York City to see Mommy's family," I tell her with a soft smile. "You'll get to meet them all and see where I grew up. You'll love the city, Lexi. It's just like home but a little bigger and crowded."
"Yay! I'm going on a vacation! I'm going to brag to Tommy!" Lexi shouts happily. She gets off her bed and runs to the apartment door, only turning around when I yell something to her.
"Honey, I don't think he's up yet," I tell her carefully. Lexi simply shrugs in the way I taught her.
"He'll be up when I'm done with him," she replies sweetly while skipping over to our neighbor's apartment door. I only nod and turn back to my brother, whose confused look feels like a Kodak moment.
"Okay, I have three questions. 1. How is she going to get in?, 2. Why are you letting her go wake up that poor boy?, and 3. Why aren't you yelling at me right now?" Justin asks a mile a minute, sentences and words blending together.
I laugh. "Okay, first off, our neighbors like us so much that we have a key to their apartment. Secondly, since I am not in the position to give Lexi a brother to torture, Tommy is the perfect replacement. And last but not least, I'm not going to yell at me for making me do something I was too chicken to do myself." I reply, my words flying fast but slow enough that Justin catches them. He just gives me a blank look.
"Who are you and what have you done to my sister?" Justin teases, awe apparent on his face. I roll my eyes at his reaction. Contrary to popular belief, I am capable of growing up. It might be the fact I'm a mother now, or maybe even what Trent put me through, but I know I'm not the girl who left New York. That girl was innocent and still believed in fairy tales. She was whole and pure. I'm anything but. I'm a train wreck, farther away from a fairy tale existence than I had ever imagined. Surprisingly, this doesn't bother me. I don't want a perfect life; I love the one I'm living. Everything, bad or good, happens for a reason.
"Duct-tapped to a chair in the closet. She really put up a fight." I joke on the way back to my room, closing the door behind me.
I head for the shower, hoping that the steam would soothe my sore muscles. After my relaxing shower, I go back into my room and slip on a pair of well-worn jeans and a long-sleeved white shirt, pairing it with a tan fringed vest, a long chain necklace with various gems on the end, and tan leather boots. I put small hoops in my ears. I'm careful to back outfits that will cover my whole body. I don't plan on telling them why I left Trent, so there's no reason for them to see my scars. Only Justin can ever see through my lies; there's not much chance of anyone else finding out. When my bags are all packed, I go into Lexi's room and help her. I make sure all her best outfits are represented and that she doesn't forget anything. I help her pick out an outfit. She eventually decides on a white peace sign t-shirt, a blue skirt with red legging underneath, and brown boots. I even let her borrow my locket that has a picture of my family in it.
Once we're all packed, Justin lugs our bags downstairs with Lexi and I making fun of what little muscle he has. I momentarily feel bad about it, but the feeling passes as quickly as it came. We go downstairs and wait while Justin calls us a cab. I think about Chicago, the city that's come to be home. It feels odd to be leaving it. I think about everything that's happened here on the way to the airport. Will New York still be the same? Will my family? These questions inhabit my mind the whole cab ride while Lexi plays a handclap game with her uncle. Hopefully going home will give me some answers. It has to.