Tessa's crying through the baby monitor wakes me with a start at a little before 4 a.m. I roll out of bed and trudge half-awake to her room. I carry her downstairs so that I can give her another bottle. I don't want to chance her not taking one at daycare. She's done remarkably well, sleeping over five hours. The stronger antibiotics must be working. My thoughts drift to last night while I'm feeding Tessa, who takes the bottle much easier this time.
Tobias and I celebrated our anniversary until well after midnight, and my mind keeps wandering to all the delicious memories we made. We made love two more times even though we both knew that we had to get up early this morning. He wanted to be responsible and call it a night after the first time but my irrational mood swing prompted him to give me my way and then we couldn't stop. I smile as I remember the feel of his mouth on my body and what he was doing with his hands. A shiver goes down my spine and I try to move my mind onto something else.
Even though yesterday went well, with the exception of my irrational jealousy, I'm still nervous about what today holds. During the first half of our day, Tobias and I are going to demonstrate the correct way to use a handgun then let them practice until lunch breaks for an hour at 12:30. After lunch we head back to the training room where we will begin hand-to-hand training. Once Tobias has shown the transfers a variety of kicks and punches, they'll be turned loose on the punching bags. This is what our entire week looks like with the exception of the first practice fights Thursday afternoon and a trip to the fence on Sunday. I imagine by then Tobias and I will need a break.
"There you are," he says from the stairs. "I thought you'd be in her room nursing. A bottle? Is everything okay?"
"I want to make sure she'll take a bottle at daycare," I say. "I'll probably pump before I come back to bed. I'm feeling full."
"I could help you with that," he says, his eyes sparkling.
"You did earlier, dirty boy," I say and he gives me a devilish grin. "Go back to bed, baby. One of us should be conscious for training today."
"Alright. I won't argue," he says. Before he turns to go upstairs he comes over to me and kisses my head then Tessa's. "I love you, Pebbles. I love you, Tris."
"We love you, too, Tobias," I say as I watch him go back to bed. "You're lucky to have him as your daddy, Tessa. He's a very good man who loves you, Tyler, Teagan, and Mommy more than anything. You might already know this, little one, but he will do anything for you." Her tired eyes smile at me while I talk to her about her daddy. When she finishes, I put her in the bassinet then pump to relieve the pressure in my chest and put the bags of milk in the freezer after putting today's date on them. I pick up Tessa, look at the clock, and realize that if I can manage to fall asleep, I can get almost an hours rest before the alarm goes off.
One hour later the alarm is getting ready to go off but I switch it off hoping to give Tobias a couple more minutes of sleep. I take a quick shower, style my hair, which still has remnants of the pink chalk in it, and get dressed in a black tank top, black maternity yoga pants, and black running shoes. I crawl up on the bed and kiss Tobias' neck and he moans.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," I whisper in his ear. "Time for a shower." Hands grip the back of my head and pull me toward him for a scorching kiss. When I break free, I'm breathless. He opens his eyes and smiles at me until he sees I'm dressed then he frowns.
"You're dressed," he says. "I thought you said it was time for a shower?"
"Not with me, silly," I say pressing my lips to his once again. If I'm not careful I'll strip out of these clothes and join him. "I'll get Tyler up so he can take a bath. Tessa's still sleeping. I let you sleep as long as I could. It's 6:30. You've got to get up." He groans then rolls out of bed, and my eyes follow his naked body everywhere. He casually walks to the dresser to retrieve boxer briefs and socks then unhurriedly heads to the closet for a black t-shirt and black boxing pants. I get up off the bed and follow him into the bathroom. "I know what you're doing." He gives me a sweet, innocent look like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. "If I was a weaker woman, you'd be on the floor right now."
"Really?" he asks, his gravelly voice betraying his arousal.
"Really," I say pressing myself up against him and dragging his mouth to mine. He groans when I pull away and head to the door.
"Aren't you going to help me with this?" he asks pointing at his erection. I look from his eyes to focus on his spectacular manhood and wet my suddenly dry lips.
"Sorry, baby," I say. "Not enough time." I hear him growl as I walk out the door.
"You're a tease, Tris Eaton," he calls after me causing me to chuckle. I walk into Tyler's room and find him fast asleep.
"Hey, buddy," I say as I rub small circles on his back in an effort to wake him. "Time to get up, Tyler." He rolls over and opens his eyes and then quickly shuts them again. "Come on sleepyhead. You're just like your daddy, not wanting to get out of bed."
"I like Daddy?" he asks, his eyes still closed.
"Yes, you are just like your father," I say, kissing his forehead. He finally opens his eyes and smiles at me. "Good morning, sweetheart. Do you want Mommy and Daddy to make breakfast here or do you want to go to the cafeteria before we take you to daycare?" He thinks for a while.
"I's want bluebewwy pancakes," he says. I scan the fridge in my mind, and I'm pretty sure we have fresh blueberries.
"That sounds like a mighty fine choice, sir," I say, causing him to giggle. "Do you want to help me pick out an outfit for you?" He bobs his head up and down, and we go to his dresser. He picks out a black pair of shorts and a black and white pinstripe t-shirt. "This is nice. Let's go get you a bath." I knock on the closed bathroom door, and Tobias tells us to come in. He's standing at the sink shaving with a towel slung low around his hips.
"Daddy, I take bath," he say. "I's want bluebewwy pancakes."
"Blueberry pancakes, huh?" he says. "That sound like a good choice." Tyler and I both start laughing.
"That what Mommy say, too," he says.
"Great minds," I say with a shrug. Tobias leans over and first gives me and then Tyler a kiss getting shaving cream on our faces. Tyler giggles like a little mad man, and I grumble a bit but end up laughing, too.
After Tyler's bath, I help him get dressed then I send him downstairs while I check on Tessa. She's bright eyed and all smiles this morning. I change her diaper and put her in a black onesie that says Daddy's Girl on the front in pink crystals and a pink tulle tutu. I put twin little ponytails on the top of her head with little pink tulle Velcro bows that match the skirt. I give her kisses all the way down the stairs until she laughs at me.
"Do you think Mommy's kisses are funny, little one?" I ask her as I step into the living room. She just continues laughing at me.
"Someone's in a good mood," Tobias says.
"That Tess, Daddy," Tyler says, looking worried that he didn't know who was laughing.
"I know, buddy," he says, kissing the top of his head.
"You sure are being silly today," I say. "Are you hungry?" I stick my knuckle in her mouth but she turns her head away. I dig the antibiotic out of the diaper bag and give her the prescribed amount. She takes it right down then smiles at me. I put her in the swing, which Tobias brought into the kitchen so I can eat. After a wonderful breakfast of blueberry pancakes, bacon, and tall glasses of milk all around, we head to the Pit. Tobias proudly carries Tessa since I accidentally left her stroller at the daycare center yesterday but even if we had it I think he would have carried her so everyone can see her onesie. He hasn't stopped smiling since he realized what I put her in.
"Good morning, Mrs. Wheeler," I say. Her smile is friendly even though she's eyeing Tessa. "Tessa's last two feedings were from a bottle. I dripped some milk on her lips and waited for her to lick it off then she took the bottle. She last ate at 4 a.m. and when I checked her before we left, she wasn't hungry yet. I'll check her on my lunch break, which is from 12:30 – 1:30. Don't hesitate to call or text if you need anything though."
"Mrs. Wheeler, I'm disturbed by what my wife witnessed here yesterday between Tyler and Bobby Ridinger," Tobias says. "I know he's just a child a little older than Tyler but I will not tolerate this kind of behavior around my children. Has he been dealt with?"
"Yes, Four," she says. "I spoke to him yesterday, and he understands that what he said to Tyler was wrong. Like I told Tris, he apologized to Tyler without being told to. I will keep my eye on both of them to make sure this kind of situation does not happen again. I told Bobby that if he acted up, I would call his parents, and I could tell he didn't want that."
"Thank you," he says. "Tris and I want to be kept apprised of the situation."
"Yes, sir," she says. Tobias hands Tessa off to Mrs. Wheeler after we say our goodbyes, and I see Tyler is already playing peacefully with Zane. We stop by the commissary to get me a big bottle of apple juice after we leave the daycare center, then we wait in the training room with Uriah and Christina for the initiates.
"Hey, I meant to ask you, did you go over initiation rules with them yesterday?" I ask.
"No, I saved it for this morning. I wanted to get to supper," he says.
"That's if we have any initiates to train," Christina says. I look at the clock, and it's two minutes till 8 a.m., and there isn't a single transfer or Dauntless-born in sight. "We didn't give ours the rules yet either. How about we give them together?" We agree. When the clock strikes 8 a.m., Avery walks in the room looking pissed off and extremely tired followed by what looks like the remaining initiates. By the time they are all in place before us, it is 8:05 a.m., and Tobias is seething. He paces in front of the still half asleep 16-year-olds like a caged panther, running a hand through his hair.
"What time were you told to be here?" he quietly asks Olivia, who was the last one to enter the room, in his intimidating Four voice.
Her voice is small when she says, "8 a.m."
"Then why is it that you walked in here at 8:05?" He stares down at her, and I physically see her pale.
When he sees that he's not going to get an answer he says, "The rules are simple here. If you follow them, we won't have a problem. Rule number one is training is from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. every day here in the training room with a one hour lunchbreak from 12:30 to 1:30 unless you are told otherwise. Not 8:01 or 8:05, 8:00 a.m. If this rule is broken again, anyone in violation will become factionless. Like I said ... simple."
"Rule number two is you are free to do what you please in the compound between 6 p.m. and 10 p.m.," Uriah says. "You must be in the dorm by the 10 p.m. curfew and lights out is at 11 p.m."
"Rule number three states you cannot leave the compound for any reason unless you are accompanied by an active Dauntless member," Christina says. "This, too, is cause for immediate expulsion." Guilt rears her ugly head. Technically, I should be factionless but Tobias took pity on me. I glance his way, and he's looking at me with knowing eyes.
"We here at Dauntless believe that preparation eliminates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear. Therefore, your initiation is broken down into three stages, which are meant to each prepare you differently; the first stage is physical while the second is emotional and the third is mental. There will be breaks between each stage of training for rest and relaxation. Believe me, you'll need it," I say. "Each stage weighs differently so it is possible, although extremely difficult, to improve your ranking. Stage two is given more weight than stage one, and stage three is given the most consideration in your final ranking."
"There's a possibility that you've heard rumors of cuts after each stage," Tobias says, still pacing before them. "That is not true. There will be no intentional cuts; however, if you are overly reckless or found not to have what we're looking for here in Dauntless, you can and will be made factionless."
"For the next four weeks, transfers and Dauntless-born will be trained separately," Uriah says, "but you will be ranked together." Afton looks around then raises her hand. Tobias, Uriah, Christina, and I look at each other. I've never seen an initiate, especially a Dauntless-born raise their hand for permission to speak.
"What do you need, Afton?" Christina asks.
"Why are we ranked if there are no cuts?" she asks.
"Your ranking will determine what order you choose your job," I say. "There are only a select amount of desirable jobs. Most of you will guard the fence." I see fear on the Dauntless-born's faces when I mention guarding the fence. No one wants to guard the fence.
"Dauntless-born, follow Uriah and me," Christina says. "We will work on fight training in the mornings and weapon training in the afternoons." I watch as they walk toward the other end of the room then turn my attention back to our group of misfits. One good thing about this morning, Olivia is no longer mooning over Tobias.
"Transfers, you will learn two things today," Tobias says. "The first is how to fire a handgun, and the second is basic moves for hand-to-hand combat. By the time stage one is finished you will be proficient in both." After handing the guns out, we line the transfers up in front of the targets. Tobias loads a weapon and presses it into my palm just like he did that first day but instead of trepidation, I feel the familiar surge of power run through my body. I walk to the center target so everyone can see me.
"Watch me," I say. I stand with my feet shoulder length apart and raise the gun, holding it in both hands exactly the way Tobias taught me. I squeeze the trigger hitting the plywood target dead center. I then walk back to Tobias so we can observe. He takes my gun so he can unload it, and we realize no one is firing.
"What are you waiting for?" I ask. I motion toward the wall. "Practice." Soon the deafening sound of gunfire fills the training room. Tobias and I stand back and watch as they fire aimlessly at first but soon they're hitting the target but not on center. I've had to excuse myself twice to use the bathroom. I think Peanut is scared of the noise because she's cowering somewhere near the vicinity of my bladder, using it as a shield. She worried me at first when she abruptly stopped moving around when the first burst of gunfire rang out in the room but soon she got used to it and is moving again.
"Hey, Four," I whisper. He glances down at me, his expression softening as he gazes into my eyes. "Was I this bad at first?" A hint of a grin plays at the edges of his lips.
"You were worse," he quietly says. I can hear the humor in his hard voice but if anyone else was able to hear our hushed conversation, they wouldn't notice. I take a step closer to him and elbow him in the ribs, and he flashes a grin at me before his Four mask once again transforms his face.
"I've got to pee," I say matter-of-factly, running both my hands over my tummy. He frowns, although I don't know if it's at my directness or the fact that I have to leave … again. "I don't think Peanut likes all the noise of the gunfire because she's hiding by my bladder."
"Hurry back," he says with a chuckle. He automatically leans in then freezes, and we both realize he was just about to kiss me in front of the initiates, not that they are paying any attention to us but it wouldn't be very professional. He stands straighter and gives an apologetic shrug. This is going to be a tough nine weeks. As I'm hurrying toward the bathroom, I see Olivia watching Tobias pace. She must have gotten over her earlier embarrassment. I sigh and shake my head and remind myself that she's not a threat to my marriage, just a silly girl who finds my husband attractive.
The morning flies by in a flurry of gunfire as Tobias and I evaluate how the 12 are doing. First, we split up and assess each transfer individually, and then we get together and quietly talk about how we think each one is doing. Our two factionless transfers, Brody and Faith, are surprisingly proficient with a weapon. They were the first two to find the center of the targets, which I praised, earning a smile from each. Brody's quiet determination puts me on edge, and I'm not sure why. He hasn't done anything to be construed as reckless. Maybe I'm just reacting to how he was raised or maybe his looks. The only word I can come up with is burly. Faith is more reserved than the other girls and only talks with Brody, although I don't think the relationship is a romantic one. They seem more like brother and sister and even resemble one another. They both have wavy dark chestnut-colored hair and chocolate colored eyes but Brody towers over Faith, and she's not short by any means.
Our Erudite transfers, Alec, Kevin, and Zoey, are a mishmash of contradictions. I think back to last year, remembering how Myra was the exact opposite of Will and Edward. That's the same dynamic between these three. Zoey is petite with a small frame and a pale yet pretty face framed by a slick black bob, which sets off her sky blue eyes while Kevin and Alec are both tall with average builds. Alec reminds me of his father with his matching dark brown hair and eyes but Kevin is almost the complete opposite with his pale blonde hair and light blue eyes. While the guys have no problem with the weapons, Zoey is having a difficult time handling the gun's recoil much like I did last year but she's slowly getting the hang of it.
Our lone Amity transfer, Sadie, reminds me of someone but for the life of me I can't think of who. Everything about her from her light brown hair and light blue eyes to her friendly smile and pleasant attitude screams average but I see an underlying determination that she either keeps hidden or doesn't know exists. She's been slow to hit the target but she isn't having the hardest time.
Lastly, there's our half dozen Candor transfers, Grant, Jesse, Sam, Ana, Bethany, and of course Olivia. Jesse reminds me a lot of Zeke with his dark skin, black hair cut close to the scalp, and short, stocky build but he doesn't have the light in his brown eyes that Zeke does. There's a certain sadness to him that's obvious he's desperately trying to hide. He struggled hitting the target at first because his stance was off but I corrected it, and he's done well since. Sam, Ana, and Bethany are right in the middle of the pack. As a matter of fact, I keep mixing them up, which makes me feel bad. I don't know why I do it either. It's not that they look or even act alike. Sam is tough and takes no shit from the other initiates. She kind of reminds me of Lynn, except she has coffee colored skin, green eyes, and long brown hair that she wears in a single braid down her back. Ana is the very definition of sweet and it makes me wonder if she got Dauntless on her aptitude test or if this is her safe haven. If she would have joined a year ago, Eric would have targeted her in a minute flat. She's petite with a long curly main of dark auburn hair and dark blue eyes. She's rather pretty. Bethany is shy but eager to learn. She reminds me a bit of myself. She carefully studied the gun when it was placed in her hand and made each move with precision before taking her first shot. Of course, she didn't hit the target but no one does at first. She doesn't look like me though. She's tall and statuesque with chin-length blonde hair and hazel eyes. All three of them are doing well but could be doing better. Olivia is our worst shooter by far. I can count on one hand the amount of times she's hit the first target in nearly four hours. All the other initiates have moved on to their second and third targets. Grant, who is very gifted with a weapon – he's only behind Brody and Faith in accuracy – keeps trying to give her pointers but she doesn't want to hear it.
"Four, I don't think I'm ever going to get this," Olivia pouts. "What am I doing wrong?" You're not trying hard enough.
"Fire a couple times," he orders. She looks absolutely giddy that he's paying her attention. She turns her back to us, and I watch her carefully as she takes aim and fires.
"Tris," he says. "What's your assessment?"
"Olivia, your feet need to be shoulder width apart," I say, moving up beside her. Her smile fades as I take the correct stance. "Secondly, you need some tension in your arms when you hold the gun." I take her gun and hold it out in front of me demonstrating the correct hold. "See my arms are not relaxed but they aren't so stiff I won't have control. Thirdly, you need to squeeze the trigger. I'm not sure what to call what you were doing." I gently squeeze the trigger and hit the center of her target, the only one to come close. "Any more questions. It's not that difficult. You'll improve with time and practice."
"No, Tris," she says. As I turn away from her after giving her the gun back, I see a scowl cross her face for a split second. Oh, Olivia. You may not like me but the feeling is completely mutual.
"Nice, love," Tobias whispers. I look at the clock and see that it's nearly time for lunch. I motion at the time and he nods. "Okay, it's almost time for lunch. Put your weapons on the table and you can go. Remember to be back here at 1:30 sharp. If you're a minute late, you'll be escorted off the property." They all scurry to the table to drop off their guns then quickly head out the door. "Why don't you help me reload these and put them away then we'll check on Tyler and Tessa."
"Okay," I say. We quickly reload each weapon then secure them for lunch.
"How do you think this morning went?" I ask as we walk to the daycare center.
"About as expected," he says. "Some really surprised me and others performed as expected. What are your thoughts?"
"I agree with you," I say. "Do you think Olivia will try harder from now on? She obviously just wanted your attention." He sighs and I think he's going to lecture me but I'm wrong.
"I see your point," he says. "She's been staring. A lot."
"I know," I grumble. "I'm trying not to be jealous but she's annoying me." He holds the door open for me, and we're greeted by Mrs. Wheeler.
"Hello, Four, Tris," she says. "Everything is great with the kids. Tessa just had her second bottle of the day and I personally gave her the dose of medication. Tyler has been playing well with Zane and Elliott all morning. He's in the other room eating if you would like to see him."
"If they're being good maybe we shouldn't disturb them," I say.
"Okay," he says. "Thank you for the update. We'll be here to pick them up between 6:15 and 6:30. If you need us, call."
"I will," she says. We leave the daycare center and head across the Pit floor. Right before we enter the cafeteria, Tobias pulls me into a dark corner, pushes me up against the wall, and surprises me with a very passionate kiss. He pulls away leaving me dazed and breathless then gently presses his lips to my forehead. I place my hands on his waist and hold myself against him.
"I've wanted to do that all morning," he roughly says. "I'll never admit it to them but Christina and Uriah might be right. I didn't know it would be this difficult to keep my hands off you. If I wasn't so hungry and you didn't need to eat, I'd find a closet or something and we'd have a little fun."
"What I wouldn't give if my stomach wasn't growling right now," I giggle. Right on cue my stomach rumbles loudly.
"You weren't kidding," he says giving me another soft kiss. "Come on, love. Let's get you fed."