Disclaimer: I am not in the practice of owning the Pocket Monsters, sir.

So a young boy waltzed into town about two years ago.

Just happened to walk by while my store was being robbed.

Just happened to think it was a good idea to try and help me.

And then, to my surprise, just happened to succeed.

AND BURN MY STORE FRONT TO THE GROUND WHILE HE'S AT IT!

Don't get me wrong; he's a great kid. He's done wonders for my little fruit stand while he's been here. Good-natured too: 'Yes Mr. Munson, No Mr. Munson, Right Away Mr. Munson' and all that. But I think it's safe to say that as far as intelligence is concerned, our 'young hero' is sufficiently depleted.

He's worked at the store paying his debts for quite a long time now, and I have to say that, if it weren't for the way he trained Pokémon, I'd be entirely certain he has some level of mental handicap. It's just that in that one thing, seeing as he can train Treeckoes to be swordsmen and Squirtles to use Thunder (you could hardly imagine), he's an absolute genius. A savant, I suppose you could say.

And yet, every now and again, he does something so incredibly idiotic that I even dismiss this as luck. Example? Of course I'll give one.

The boy is stocking shelves as usual in the store when this cute redheaded girl walks in, comes right up to the counter, and asks if I'd seen a slightly overweight kid with short blonde hair and a stovetop hat.

"Of course I have!" I exclaimed. "Not exactly a forgettable person, that Axel."

The girl gasped. "You…" she paused. "Do you know what… happened to him?"

"He lost weight, stopped dying his hair that ridiculous color and grew it out to a decent length," I laughed, not knowing at the time what she thought she knew. "Cut the hat down to a visor too… smart move on his part I thought."

She was silent for a minute. "So… he was still alive when he left here, then?"

"Yes…" I said hesitantly. "Except he's never left. He's right over there," I pointed to the boy, and, if only to prove I wasn't a senile old man, called "Axel! Visitor!"

"If it's Benji, tell him I'm still working!" He called back. "And also tell him to stop challenging me to rematches when he's only trained for a day!"

"It isn't Benji!" I snapped. "It's… um… a redheaded girl!"

"Redheaded girl?" Axel said poking his head out from behind the shelves.

The girl's eyes opened wide, and she walked forward as in a daze. Her mouth stood agape as she raised her hand gently to his face.

And slapped the living daylights out of him.

"I assume I deserved that?" Axel said, rubbing his sore cheek pathetically.

At this point, I realized that Axel had spent two years working in my store without ever contacting home. After seeing such utter stupidity, coupled with physical harm and humiliation, I couldn't help but start laughing hysterically.

"I thought you were dead!" Amber yelled shrilly. "Do you know how many nights we mourned for you back home?"

"You thought I was dead?" Axel echoed. "That's kind of a silly thing to think, isn't it?"

Another slap. It's becoming hard to breathe.

"You haven't called home in years!"

"I broke my phone… and Mr. Munson won't let me put aside enough money to buy one," Axel explained.

"Yeah, well, you could have at least e-mailed or something!"

"No internet in town, I'm afraid," he apologized. "Or phones either… it's kind of nice. Quiet."

"Then you should have gone somewhere else! Or used a phone in another town or…"

"Mr. Munson doesn't let me stray very far… he's afraid I might run away."

"STOP HAVING AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING!" Amber screamed, slapping him again. At this point, I'm crying out of sheer, unadulterated joy.

Axel was silent. Amber stood there seething for a moment, and finally said, angrily, "well? What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I don't have an answer for that," Axel said, shaking his head quickly.

Amber's hand rose up to slap again, but hesitated. The rage was gone, at least for now, and finally, to the delight of both Axel and the seven other customers in the store; she embraced the young trainer with both arms. "You don't know how happy I am you're alive," she said softly.

"Well…" Axel ventured. "I doubt it's as happy as… I am that I'm alive so… I might be able to hazard a guess."

In Amber's defense, the slap that followed was the softest of the bunch. Hell, it was almost playful.

After that, Axel kindly requested the rest of the day off, which I, being the incredibly nice and understanding slave driver that I am, gave him. The two of them left, to catch up and I, begrudgingly, closed the store on my own and began cooking dinner.

"FOOD!" yelled Medici, bounding in as per usual. "Hey, Old Man Munson, what are we having today? Is it steak? Please tell me it's steak. It's steak, right?"

"It's chicken," I said monotonously.

"No… it is steak," he said, waving his hand in Jedi fashion.

"IT'S CHICKEN!" I asserted angrily. You may think yelling is an overreaction, but the scary part is, if he actually wanted to force me into making steak, he could. So I take mock attempts to take over my mind quite seriously.

"Tone it down tonight, alright Medici?" I commanded. "We're probably going to have company, and I think we want them to like us this time."

"Is it Benji again?" the Meditite asked. "Because he practically doesn't even count as a guest anymore."

"It isn't Benji," I replied.

"Ooh! Is it Professor Redwood?" He asked excitedly. "You know how much I love that guy. It is him, right?"

This could go on forever if I let it, and it gets quite amusing sometimes. This time, however, I was feeling less than accommodating. "It's some redheaded girl named Amber; apparently some long-lost friend from Axel's hometown."

"Hey, I met her!" Medici said, floating up to the cupboard to look for a snack. "She did say she was looking for a friend… with blonde hair and a stovetop hat, though." He turned to me. "Tell me Axel never actually looked like that."

"Oh no… he did," I said with a chuckle. "It was actually working here at the store that made him stop dying his hair and lose the weight that he did."

"You don't say," he replied, plopping down to the ground with a stick of beef jerky in hand. "That's probably for the best, I like him better with black hair."

"Shouldn't you be sticking to your diet of a Berry a day?" I said, swiping the jerky from him before he could take a bite. "Isn't that part of your species' training?"

"I'll start training again the very moment I'm not powerful enough to deal with whatever comes my way, how's that?" he said with a sly grin.

I sighed. "Don't say I never told you so," I grumbled.

Dinner at my house, ever since Axel came along anyway, has always been interesting to say the least.

Qwill always burns his food, no matter how much I cook it. Inigo insists on slicing his food midair and catching it on the edge of his leaf blades, Shelligan occasionally juggles, and Medici, while he doesn't have any strange eating habits… is Medici. I try not minding… and believe it or not, I usually succeed. It beats eating alone, I suppose.

The people Axel brings to dinner are also pretty interesting in and of themselves. Sure, there are people from around town like Officer Jenny, our neighbor's kid Benji, Nurse Joy… but then there are also people who I never would have dreamt of cooking for in years. Whether it be Professor Redwood, the world-renowned researcher who studies the 'anthromorphization' of the Pokémon species or the crazy loon from the edge of town who insists Pokémon are going to take over the world… suffice it to say, things can get quite interesting. I figured tonight's guest would be no different.

And I was right. Though I wish she wouldn't be so abrasive.

"So, Mr.… Munson, right?" Amber said first thing over dinner. "Is it true that Axel has to work another two years before you'll let him go?"

"Yes, that's right," I said, not caring for the disdain she had asked the question with. "And before you say anything, it's much less time than if he'd actually have to pay the whole thing off with his work."

"He cut me a pretty big break, Amber," Axel defended, cutting into his… wait, when did I make steak? "He's even housing and feeding me… there's no reason to be angry with him."

"He couldn't have let you call home and let us know you were okay?" she sniped.

"Hey, hey," I defended. "I didn't know he had to do something like that. He never asked."

"Is that so?" she said, whipping her rage around to Axel. "You conveniently forgot to say that, didn't you?"

"No… I actually left it out on purpose," Axel smiled, biting a chunk of meat from his fork.

"I'm not going to have to Protect you, am I?" Medici whispered loudly into Axel's ear."

"I wouldn't count it out," he whispered back. "And wait… since when did you learn Protect?"

"I… may or may not have bought myself a TM with my tour guide money," Medici said quickly. "But before you ask, it didn't actually cost as much as you might think."

"Don't get all defensive," Axel smiled. "What you do with your money is your own business."

"Does that mean I can learn Thunderbolt too?" Medici asked excitedly. "Because even knowing Thunder Punch, I feel I just don't exude electrical energy enough, you know?"

"How many moves are you going to teach yourself before you're satisfied?" I grumbled, biting begrudgingly into what should have been chicken.

"How many are there?" Medici responded. "I mean, barring Vine Whip, I'm pretty sure I can learn all of them."

"Even Hydro Pump?" Amber asked, disbelieving. "You can just randomly make water like that?"

"I can't actually," Medici explained. "But, I can do Ice Beam with one hand and Flamethrower with the other. Turns out its even stronger than an actual Hydro Pump." The cocky Pokémon laughed. "Then again, it's me. What'd you expect?"

"For you to not Hypnosis me into making steak every damn day," I grumbled.

"Medici!" Axel said sternly. "You didn't!"

"I actually didn't this time!" said the liar. "I just put the suggestion in there while he was cooking and let it grow on its own."

"So 'Inception' is a TM now?" Amber quipped.

"Too to the shay, Amber-Chan," Medici replied, apparently finding Amber suddenly endearing. "I knew there was a reason I liked you. You have very good taste in friends, Axel. Never disappointed."

I cleared my throat, indicating to the Meditite to shut the hell up, please, thank you. "So, Ms. Amber," I addressed politely. "What do you intend to do now?"

The question startled her. "Pardon me?"

I sighed. It was irritating, having to explain myself. "The entire purpose of your journey was to find out if Axel was alive or not, right? And I hardly believe you expected him to be in the next town over, just too stupid to contact home. So what now?"

The girl paused. It was clear she hadn't thought about it. "Well… I suppose I'll go back to Pembrook first, let everyone know that Axel's doing ok…" She paused again. It was getting annoying. "Then, I guess I'll come back here and help pay off Axel's debt."

I flinched. Her words struck me as weird… even a bit obsessive. "Why on earth would you do that?"

"I know he doesn't seem it, but Axel is a hero to almost all of Pembrook. We always knew he'd go on to do big things… win the Pokémon league, put our town on the map, that kind of thing." She smiled. "The sooner we can get him back in the running for the league the better, right?"

I looked at Axel, who had turned red out of embarrassment. "There's not need for that, Amber… I enjoy working here, really. And besides, if I spend a lot of time training here, I can blow through the league in like a day when I finally get serious, right?"

"Two years worth of level grinding is a bit excessive, don't you think, Axel?" Amber said, face switching instantly from praising to stern. "You need to get back in the game! You can't just sit around waiting for someone to do it for you!"

Words to live by, Ms. Amber. And had you not been proven wrong almost the very next day, Axel may have even gotten a little smarter because of you. Terrible shame.