Crazy trouble with love

Female Hercules and Shirou

Series: Fate Stay

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-Emiya residence-

Shirou whistled under his breath as he was heading to the kitchen to get a cup and some water since he was feeling a little parched.

"Damn summer heat." He said as he looked through the pantry draws till he found an old bronze cup about the size of his head with a small crack on the tip. "Hmm, this might work, but maybe I should throw it away later."

As he grabbed the cup he found out the hard way that it was WAY heavier then expected as it cause Shirou to drop onto the ground butt first. "Woah! That's odd. And since when did we even have this cup?"

Shirou then got up to his knees as he placed his fingers on the edges of the cup, which nicked his thumb as some blood hit the bottom of the cup. He groaned to pick it up before noticing a glowing coming from it.

He then dropped it as it started glowing brighter as a magic circle appeared around it before a dust cloud formed. He stepped back with wide eyes as he saw something slowly rise up from the circle.

'Are you my master?' A voice called out in Shirou's mind as a dark tanned woman in Greek armor appeared as her long black hair, which flowed to her feet, flapped in the breeze. Shirou then noticed that one of her huge I-Cup breasts was missing a piece of armor, her chest plate to be exact.

"W-W-W-Who are you!?" he stuttered out with a blush at seeing her bare breast before covering his eyes.

'I am Hercules, demigoddess of Zeus and former servant of...Hera.' She 'said' while speaking the last part with venom. 'Are you my master?'

"Uh…..what?" he spoke confused while keeping his eyes away from her chest.

'Master?' She said before taking the cup and placing it on her breast, which was a perfect fit. 'Did you summon me using my breast plate?'

"Breastplate?" he spoke with a brighter blush. "I swear to god I thought that was a cup!"

'Which God? Zeus, Poseidon, Hermes?' She said while cocking her head. 'Or is it a foreign god?'

"Uh, like Jesus Christ, but...wait a minute, why aren't your lips moving?" he asked since he noticed her lips didn't move at all.

'I can't talk.' She deadpanned. 'It's what happens when you summon a berserker class, they lose their sanity in battle and voices outside battle.'

Shirou just looked at her a little over his hands with confusion. "I still don't understand."

'Never mind.' She said before spotting another Servant walking into the room.

"Hey Shirou is there any food lef-" Saber said before spotting Hercules. "Why is there a woman that looks like Hercules in the room with you?"

"Uh...well, I went to get a drink, found a heavy cup, which turned out to her…..breast plate, and she appeared." he explained with a blush.

'Is this your lover?' She said as Shirou blushed at that remark.

"N-No, this is Saber."

'Oh.' She said before looking at Saber. 'Why is she glaring at me? I didn't do anything yet.'

"Shirou. Step away from her now." She glared while moving her hand towards her sword. "She's a servant."

'...is she trying to threaten a demigoddess?' She said with a glare as she moved towards Saber with an aura of power emanating from both Servants. 'Orders master?'

"W-Wait! Your name, is Hercules, but you can't be him. Illya-chan's servant is Hercules." spoke Shirou getting in between them.

'What?' She said now really confused. 'A male version of me…..oh great! Hermes is pranking humanity again!'

"What do you mean?"

'Hermes created a clone of me and now,' she frowned. 'He's going around making me look like a fool! That stupid trickster god's going to regret it!'

Shirou blinked while Saber moved her hand away from her sword for the moment.

"Shirou." She said while grabbing Shirou away from the woman. "I think you should be cautious with her. She might cause you trouble if you keep her around."

'You dare to challenge me puny woman? Than I'll make your death swift and painful.' growled Hercules.

"What are you looking at?" Saber glared at the demigoddess. "Shirou. Get back now so I can deal with this woman."

'Bring it.' Hercules said before raising her fist to strike the 'King' of Knights. 'I won't even break a sweat.'

Shirou panicked before he did something really stupid. He got into the Servant's way and well….accidentally groped them, with Saber blushing red and Hercules….grinning as he felt the cold metal.

'Copping a feel master.' spoke Hercules lowering her fist. 'You're very forward, especially in front of another woman.'

"S-Shirou…" Saber blushed as Shirou unhooked his hands from their chests. "Y...You…"

"Sorry sorry!" he cried out with his hands up. "I didn't mean to, I swear!"

Saber blushed before Hercules hugged him tight. "What are you doing!"

'Showing master there's no need to feel shy in front of me.' she frowned.

Saber looked at her with rage for her behavior towards Shirou and confusion since she couldn't understand what she was 'saying'. "Get off of Shirou now!"

'Forget it little girl.' she growled at her.

As the two started to attempt another fight, Shirou somehow got out of her hug and started sneaking away. Something both Servants noticed.

"Shirou! Get away, I'll deal with her!" spoke Saber grabbing the hilt of her blade.

'I'm going to crush your skull and grind your bones into paste!' Hercules growled only for Shirou to trace a very familiar blade. 'Where the GODS did you acquire my sword!'

"Look, both of you just stop! She's not hurting anyone, cause if she was here to fight, she could have killed me in an instant. So Saber, stand down."

"But Shirou-"

"Now!" Shirou yelled as Saber grudgingly complied.

She lowered her weapon while Hercules grinned smugly.

'Looks like the mighty Hercules, the most sexy demigoddess in the world, wins again!' She said causing Shirou to sweatdrop since she kind of acted like Gilgamesh and Rin.

"Uh, Saber. Is it even possible for a master to have two servants at once?"

"Of course." Saber said. "If the amount of mana is suffice, then it's possible for a mage to have more than one Servant. But the maximum is about….five or six."

"Has this ever happened before?"

"In the past yes, but said Master was a prick that got himself killed by his own servants." Saber reminisced. "But it's a rare phenomenon."

'Bah, master needs only me to win this war, not a maid playing dress up.' Hercules waved off.

"Hercules." Shirou said with a nervous tone yet stern tone. "Saber's a king and a master swordswoman, so don't speak to her like that."

"What did she say?" asked Saber glaring at the berserker.

"If I tell you," Shirou said. "You must promise not to attack Hercules ok?"

"I...will try to restrain myself."

Shirou gulped a little. "She kind of called you...a maiden playing dress up."

And cue Saber scowling at Hercules and lunging at her with her sword.

Only to get paralyzed by Shirou's magic in the form of Saber's own weapon, Excalibur. "Saber, stop!"

Saber frowned and didn't pull away since Hercules stood behind Shirou while making faces at her.

Shirou turned and saw her in mid face. "Hercules stop provoking Saber!"

Said berserker sighed and just nodded while they saw more command seals appear on the back of Shirou's other hand.

"Shirou…." Saber said while putting away her sword. "Even if she's now your Servant, if she causes more trouble, I will give her a fitting punishment to serve the crime."

"Look, I get you want to protect me, but if she can help us out, then I say we give her a chance."

"And what if she tries attacking us in our sleep?"

'I'm not a common thug! I'm a hero!' Hercules said with a glare. 'If I even tried that then I'm no better then when….never mind…'

"Look, both of you just calm down, shake hands, and try to be friendly."

'Even if my hands would crush her hands?' She asked while moving her left hand towards Saber. '...Friends...miss big ass.'

"Please don't." sweatdropped Shirou as Saber grabbed her hand and they slowly shook hands.

'She reminds me of Artemis.' Hercules said. 'Strong willed, stubborn and owners of very large asses.' she tried smiling while shaking hands and applied just a smidge more pressure. Not enough to hurt her, but enough to grab her attention.

"Yes Hercules?" Saber asked while applying some strength into her own grip. "You want something of me?"

'Nothing at all miss big butt.'

Saber looked at Shirou. "What was she just saying Shirou?"

"She said it's great to have you as a friend." he lied.

"Oh. If that's what she said." Saber falsely smiled. "Then I can just say this, your male counterpart is much uglier than you are."

'Oh, this is gonna be fun.' smiled Hercules wider while tightening her grip.

"Oh," Saber said before turning to Shirou. "I almost forgot, Illya-san's coming over with her Servant for dinner."

"Oh, I'll get to work on dinner than." he replied. 'She is NOT gonna like Illya's Hercules.'

(Hours later)

"Shirou-nee!" Illya called out as she opened the door and let herself in along with M-Hercules. "I'm here for dinner!"

"Hey Illya-chan, it's just about done." called Shirou from the kitchen.

"Ok." She grinned before sitting down on the couch as M-Hercules also sat on the floor. Just as F-Hercules walked in from the other room. Both blinked at seeing the new female who was walking into the kitchen.

'Master, shall I help with the cooking?' She asked while waiting for Shirou's answer.

"No, I've got it handled. You can just sit and wait. Oh, and did you happen to see Illya-chan and her….friend?"

'No I was too busy thinking about how I should punish Hermes for making a clone of me.' She admitted. She walked back and looked in the living room and saw the small girl and her eyes widened at the clone sitting beside her. 'Y-You!' She yelled pointing to the clone. 'You dare mock me with that ugly form!?'

M-Hercules turned as F-Hercules charged at him and tackled him off the couch.

'I WILL RIP YOUR SKULL OFF FOR THIS BLASPHEMY!' She yelled while both struggled as both had the same god like strength that made them so famous.

"Hey! Leave Hercules alone!" cried out Illya as Shirou ran out hearing the noise.

She turned to Illya with anger. 'THIS IS NOT HERCULES!' She grabbed her by the head. 'I AM HERCULES!'

"Hercules! Put her down!" Shirou commanded.

'NOT UNTIL THEY PAY!' She growled while putting pressure to Illya's head. 'I WILL SEE TO IT THAT THEY ENTER HADES AS A BLOODY PULP!'

"I command you to cease and stop!" declared Shirou as her command seal glowed.

F-Hercules' seal activated as she loosened her grip on Illya. 'Master….why did you stop me from punishing these heretics that used my name in vain?'

"Because neither ever planned on doing that, so is it right to hurt someone innocent when it was because of someone else?"

As he said those words, F-Hercules started remembering a long forgotten memory that haunted her days as a mortal. The deaths of her first born son and her husband by her madness induced state brought about by the queen of the Olympian gods. 'B-By the Gods….what...have I become...?' She then fell to the floor. 'I-I almost killed another innocent life...again….'

Illya backed away from her as Shirou walked over and rubbed F-Hercules' back.

F-Hercules looked at Shirou and then at a now scared Illya. '...I...I'm so...sorry…'

"I...It's alright." spoke Illya.

F-Hercules looked at her before standing up and walked towards Illya as she gave her a hug. 'Thank you...child…'

"Shirou what-" Saber called out as she walked into the room only to see the hug. "What just happened?"

(After one explanation)

"So Hercules caused trouble again." Saber frowned as they ate their meals. "I told you Shirou that she would be a problem."

'Oh please, like you never had troubles.'

"What did she say?"

"She said like you never had troubles."

Saber sighed. "Try having a daughter that wants to kill me and also destroyed my kingdom because of my half sisters need to destroy me for my bastard of a father's consummation with her own mother."

'...fair enough.'

Saber then remembered something. "Shirou, is Illya's head ok?"

"I'm alright, nothing's broken." spoke up Illya.

'Thank goodness.' Sighed F-Hercules as she finished her meal. 'I thought I was going to have another sin on my plate.'

"Sin?" Shirou asked confused.

'...let's just say my father's wife hated me a lot and took it out on my loved ones before I became a hero.' She said while looking really depressed and melancholy.

Shirou rubbed her back while the rest of the table were confused except for M-Hercules.

"Ok?" Saber said confused. "So dessert anyone? It's chocolate cake with whip cream."

"Me!" spoke up Illya.

'...is she a glutton?' F-Hercules asked Shirou with a worried look. 'Because I don't think she should have any sweets.'

"It'll be alright."

'Hope so, I don't want her to be the size of a Cyclops.' She said with a chuckle as Illya heard that remark.

"Hey!"

'Well it's true.' She laughed as Illya started to get mad at the Servant's joking. 'Too much sweets will cause you to look like a huge ball of lard. Or maybe a small island.'

That got her a piece of fish thrown in her face.

'...this means war lardy.' She said before throwing a bowl of rice at Illya, which hit Saber instead. '...oops, sorry big ass.'

"That's it!" she grabbed the plate of meat pieces and hurled it at her. Only for them to hit M-Hercules who threw a huge bowl of hot soup at her, which hit Shirou in the face.

"AAHHH!"

"Shirou-nee!"

"Shirou!"

'Master!'

All called his name as the red haired mage started to fall to the floor in pain as the soup burned his skin in first degree burns.

'Oh no! Master hold on!'

The Greek demigoddess ran into the kitchen and turned the water on as she unhooked her breastplate and scooped some water in it before running back. 'Child! Put this on master's face and hurry!'

"W-Why are you showing off your chest like that?" blushed Illya seeing the bare breast.

'Just put it on or master will lose his face!' She yelled while giving the breastplate to Illya. 'HURRY!'

She jumped before tipping the water out and onto Shirou's face.

Shirou winced in pain as the liquid cooled his skin as the burning sensation vanished and thankfully no lasting marks were made from that incident. "Ow….that stung."

"Shirou-nee!/Shirou!" Both Illya and Saber called out before hugging him as F-Hercules glared at her male clone.

'You're luck master's safe or I would have crushed your skull and peeled you skin off like I did with the Nemean Lion!'

M-Hercules grunted to show he understood as F-Hercules helped Shirou back to his feet.

'Master, do you need anything?' She asked while Shirou blushed at her now exposed breast….again.

"Uh, no, I think I'm good."

'Not even…my step mothers gift?' She said with a blush as she remembered Are's taking her upon becoming a goddess that as a child, she drank Hera's breast milk which gave her the strength of a god, and that since she was a woman….she could do the same. ' 'Stupid Ares'.'

"What is it?" he asked curious.

'Um…' She said before unhooking her other breastplate. 'My...breast milk….master….'

His and the others dropped their jaws with Saber covering Illya's eyes and scowling at her.

"Would you not show your chest off in front of a child!"

'Tell that to my clone.' She frowned pointing to M-Hercules. 'He needs something to cover that chest, it might poke someone's eyes out!'

Saber sighed and started leading Illya out while pulling M-Hercules out while he couldn't stop staring.

'Master….are you sure you don't want...my milk?' She asked with a blush.

Shirou felt all sense lose him before getting a nosebleed and fainted in her arms.

(Later in Shirou's bedroom)

'Master?' Hercules called out as Shirou started regaining consciousness. 'Master can you hear me?'

"Uh...what happened?"

'You fell into Morpheus' domain.' She said while Shirou realized that he was on her lap with her breasts still bear before him. 'Is this to your liking?'

"Gah!" he cried out with wide eyes and feeling another massive nosebleed coming on.

'Master, if you don't hold your blood I will make sure that you bleed from your eyes.' She frowned before leaning in closer to his face. 'Now do you want to drink it, Shirou?'

"Uh, sure?"

'Yes,' she blushed. 'I don't mind, plus it might help you later in life.'

He gulped while moving up and saw milk start leaking out and hesitantly took one in his mouth.

'Mmm...that tickles.' She moaned as Shirou sucked slowly on her nipple. 'Be sure to drink every last drop Shirou.'

'I can't believe I'm actually doing this.'

This went on for what seemed like years until Hercules milk stopped flowing as she rubbed Shirou's head.

'Shirou, was it g-good?' ' 'By the gods! This is….perfect~'.'

Shirou didn't trust his voice and just nodded.

She smiled before saying something that shocked Shirou. 'T-Thank you...my new husband….'

Shirou went slack jawed while one sentence went through his head.

'EEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH!?'