Chapter 11. I am amazed at the positive reviews I have been getting. Thanks so much. Hope you enjoy this chapter. No Jacob (sorry) but I feel that the things here needed to be written. Happy reading.

I was fuming. Shaking with anger. I heard Jacob call out after me once to hold on a second. When I heard Bella start to cry again his attempts at following me were abandoned. I couldn`t believe how foolish I had been. Why did I have to go back with him to his house? I understood that I had some deep need, a yearning to be close to him. I felt so alive when I was around him that when I wasn`t I felt somewhat cold. Like I was missing a vital part of myself I never knew I was missing until the day he looked at me. I knew it wasn`t an obsession. It was something different. Something I didn`t understand yet but understood perfectly. I was certain Jacob knew what was going on. He was just as crazy as I was. I was also pretty positive that he didn`t want to tell me. I stomped down his muddy drive, effectively ruining my boots and thought back to what had happened, or could have happened, before Bella had interrupted us.

He loved Bella but he couldn`t stay away from me. It was more than a crush that he was feeling. I didn`t have a crush on Jacob. I loved him in a crazy way. I didn`t get giddy or excited when I saw him. I felt complete. Plain and simple. I wanted him to love me back. I wanted him to like me for me. He said he wanted me to hate him. I could never hate Jacob. I could hate him for all the stupid, dickish things he did or said but I could never truly hate him. I knew it was impossible. Oh my God! I would have had sex with him right there on his sofa with Billy in the other room. He probably heard everything! Oh man! He must think that I`m a total slut now. I kicked at the mud furiously, causing it to splatter in every direction and stain my tights brown. Fucking Jacob! I let out a scream of frustration into the now howling wind. Of all the shit that had to happen to me, he was the worst. He drew me to him and I couldn`t control it. He made me feel things I had never felt before for any boy and I welcomed it. Why not before? Why now? The rain had throughly soaked me by now and I didn`t care. Rage and jealousy were still battling it out for dominance inside of me, making my blood boil. Jacob was mine. Bella was a threat to me. It was so clear that it shocked me. Jacob belonged with me. He was mine and I was his. I made the snap decision to go back to his house and claim him. I would fuck him in front of Bella if needs be. He was MINE!

Before I could make it about twenty feet I heard a car beep behind me. To my complete shock I saw my nana`s ancient Volkswagen Beetle come to a screeching halt beside me, effectively splattering more mud on me. Fuck me! I had never seen her drive so fast. Or look so worried. She must be psychic or something. She always knew when I was in trouble. I kept looking between her car and the direction of Jacob`s house unable to make up my mind.

"Sonia get in the car!" My nana yelled, opening her door and getting out. Why did she look so frightened? I knew it was best to do as she said now. I don`t think going back to Jacob`s was such a good idea after everything.

I got in and sat stiffly on the seat. The tugging feeling was back full force and I got the horrible feeling that there were multiple eyes watching me, hidden in the trees in the forest. Overall I felt unsettled, angry, ashamed and still a bit turned on from my earlier escapade with Jacob. My nana had difficulty starting up the old engine but she got there in the end.

"Are you mad at me nana?" I asked her when she hadn`t said anything for a long time.

"I`m not mad at you Sonia. I`m mad at that...boy for dragging you into this." She answered me quietly. So I`m not in trouble. That`s a welcome break. We lapsed into another long silence.

"My car is still at school." I told her. I had just remembered about it.

"Bernie drove it back for you, don`t worry." Thank God I had given Bernie my spare keys in case I lost mine. She would defiantly be wondering what the hell I had gotten up to today.

"I`m sorry nana." I meant it. I hated seeing my nana upset or cross.

"You shouldn`t be sorry about anything Sonia...did Jacob tell you?" Tell me what?

"He told me nothing that made any sense. He...he said that he hates me." I felt the tears begin to shed. Ahh shit. Why do I have to cry over him? My nana took hold of my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"He doesn`t hate you Sonia. He didn`t tell you anything shocking did he?" Shocking? The fact that he wants to fuck me? Not really shocking. Me being hot and him being a guy really that wasn`t that surprising.

"No, why?" I had a funny feeling my nana knew what was going on.

"No reason darling. You just looked upset when I came to pick you up."

"How did you know I was there?"

"Billy called me after he called your mom."

"Why are you so worried?"

"I can`t remember now. I was just angry that you skipped school is all." That was the worst lie my nana had ever told but I decided now that I would let it rest. I was lucky I wasn`t being yelled at and grounded. Fuck! I didn`t know what Billy told my mom and nana!

"Billy said he was feeling pretty sick from the diabetes. Good thing you were with Jacob when he got the call." My nana said pointedly.

"Yeah...Jacob was pretty upset." I said carefully. She so knew what was really going on. She gave me a knowing look.

She didn`t start anymore conversations on our way home. Nor did I. I knew when my nana was finished with a topic and there was no use trying to probe her for information. My mind drifted back to Jacob. I wondered what he was doing now. Maybe he was still with Bella. The thoughts of the two of them making out and having sex made me dig my nails into my palm painfully. The thought was heartbreaking. I cringed inwardly at my idiocy and selfishness. Who was I to say who Jacob could and couldn`t sleep with? Who was I to want him to love me? Who was I to lay some obsessive claim to him when I didn`t even know him?

By the time we arrived home I was feeling so conflicted and a little depressed. After showering and devouring two avocado and chicken sandwiches I sat down to do my homework, which Bernie had brought home for me as well as my car. The maths was as confusing and as difficult as hell but I got through it in the end. I was determined to keep my mind off Jacob. If doing my homework perfectly for once was the answer then I grabbed at it. I made sure to write everything out slowly and in my best handwriting to drag out the time. It only took about an hour and a half.

After I had finished I wandered into my nana`s room to find her reading something at her desk. When she heard me enter she smiled and patted her bed to make me sit. She wanted to tell me something. I sat crossed legged the edge of the bed and gave her my full attention.

"Do you love Jacob Black?" The question almost made me topple of the bed in shock.

"Nana!" I whined. Shit! She knew.

"Sonia, there is no need to get upset. Did you...sleep with him yet?" Oh God! This just keeps on getting worse and worse.

"NO!" I shouted. I almost did though. But my nana didn`t need to know that.

"Good...that`s good." She seemed so relieved. "Promise me you won`t before...before he tells you."

"Tells me what? What is the big secret?" I was getting angry. I hate not knowing!

"There is no secret Sonia." My nana lied. What the fuck? She knew I knew she was lying. She wanted me to know she was lying. What game is she playing.

"Okay, so there`s no secret." I decided to play along. If my nana wanted to tell me out straight then she would. There was a reason why she wasn`t telling me. I trusted her.

"Sonia, promise me again." She pleaded. What was going on?

"I promise nana. There isn`t any chance of that happening ever." I laughed. Jacob had made his choice.

"I wouldn`t be so sure of that. It`s only a matter of time." Euugh. Gross. I so didn`t want the sex talk from my nana.

"I`m not giving my virginity to Jacob Black of all people. So don`t worry."

"So you`re still a virgin." She stated. If it was possible she looked a bit worried.

"Emm. Yeah." I admitted. I wasn`t going to sleep with some dick who just wanted me for my looks. I wanted the person I lost my virginity to to actually like me. For me. For Sonia. I figured that I would eventually lose it to Ollie sometime. I trusted him. He was good looking. Now, that feeling had changed. I didn`t see any other guy now. I was under Jacob`s spell.

"Nana?"

"Yes darling?"

"Am I in some sort of danger?"

"No sweetheart. Jacob would never let anything hurt you." How did she know that? And seem so certain of it at the same time.

"But he could hurt me?" She took her time answering that one.

"He could. He could hurt you more than anyone could."

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