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… It's true! Look it up!

On a completely unrelated note, though, they're really good! You should buy them. NOW.

This is NOT an attempt at drawing the attention of someone to sponsor me. That'd be crude and uncouth. And I am very, VERY couth.

Chapter 10: But There Was No Bertrand

Amber

As fake and manipulative as 'Lily' has been in the very brief time Axel's known her, she certainly seemed genuinely shocked when we told her that Bertrand was gone. It was almost enough to convince me she really was just busy, and concerned enough to ask some random boy she met to check up on him. Almost.

I'm not jealous, mind you. I realize that's exactly what a jealous person would say, but you know better that… I think. Though he's older, Axel's kind of like a little brother to me, and to see some pompous, high-heel wearing, eyelash-fluttering succubus play around with him is just… I'm sorry. I'll calm down now.

Our first effort, asking around town if anyone had seen Bertrand recently, was probably doomed from the start. Even before he contracted… whatever (Lily wasn't exactly forthcoming with the details) Bertrand never got out a whole lot. How he became acquaintances with someone with their heads as far up in the clouds as Lily's is beyond me, but… I said I would stop, didn't I?

Axel eventually had Medici take over the task of interviewing the townsfolk: not only would they be less likely to lie to a guitar-carrying Meditite, but… he could also just read their minds. It's hard to lie against someone like that unless you know Occlumency, which, as at least Axel seems to think, is a real thing you can learn how to do. Learn something new every day, I suppose.

The rest of us (Lily and Gardevoir included) decided to head back to Bertrand's place to do a more thorough investigation; I reasoned that no matter if he'd gone somewhere or something had happened to him, there might be some clue as to where he was. A sickly person couldn't exactly leave his house without leaving some evidence behind of what he'd done, right? Not that I was eager to go back to a place that reeked of Death so much.

The sitting room was in the same condition that we had left it in hours ago (I probably would left right then and there if it wasn't). Lily showed a bit of surprise at the various articles strewn across the room, but also nodded knowingly.

"He has a tendency to be a bit obsessive," she explained. "Once he takes an interest in something, it's almost impossible to steer him of course. Sometimes it gets so bad he doesn't sleep." She shook his head. "That's part of the reason his health is so bad, I keep telling him, but he insists he doesn't need more than four hours a night."

"See, Amber? It's not just me!" Axel said triumphantly, smiling over in my direction.

I sighed. "Axel, focus… we can talk about how similar you are to sick people later, ok?"

Lily chuckled. Axel nodded. Shelligan spun around in his shell. Qwill, oblivious to the rest of us, lit a fire in the fireplace. I sighed again. Was there anyone here other than me who just wanted to get this over with?

Inigo let out a loud cry, and pointed my attention to the fireplace. I prepared myself to tell him that, yes, I'd seen Qwill light the fire, but stopped myself. The fire, no matter how many times Qwill lit it, went instantly out, extinguished by some draft on unknown origin. Inigo stopped Qwill, poked around in the fireplace with his blades, and let out another cry, lifting the floor from the fireplace to reveal a large hole, with stairs leading further down.

At this point, I decided it was best to call the police. Not that I could, as Axel was already heading down the stairs. I tried stopping him, gave up at about "I really think we should…" and told Toto to stand guard. She didn't like that, but… she doesn't like anything, really. One of these days I need to set aside some time to get her a haircut… that's supposed to improve her mood, right?

Axel and Qwill, each as inquisitive as the other, were already poking around the basement area. The stacks of articles were even more profuse here, some so old that they were serving as nourishment for a host of different molds and mildews. In addition to the articles, there were also a multitude of videotapes, stacked almost to the ceiling in places. I grabbed one labeled 'May 20th', searching for the VCR that was surely somewhere, and eventually found a dusty, archaic model in the corner. Lily and Axel gathered around, and I placed the cartridge in the slot.

A face appeared on the screen, clothed in a long black robe and a Duskull mask, piercing blue eyes glowing from beneath. I shivered. Coming face to face with Death will do that to you.

Hello, Salvout, said Death. It's that time again… aren't you excited to see who it was this time?

For starters, if the Woodale authorities search the area of Oakridge forest near the river, they'll find the flattened bodies of a young couple that decided that fishing in a restricted zone was a good time. You're welcome, Oakridge Rangers. You owe me one.

Secondly, I believe that the snow banks in Severna have thawed enough that you can begin searching for this winter's harvest. I was not quite as diligent with my records as I was last year, but I can tell you that if you find around thirty bodies, you're about halfway done. Most of them are encased in ice, so the smell shouldn't be nearly as bad as it was last spring. Again, you're welcome. You owe me one.

And lastly, I've decided that I'm going to take a nice beachside vacation this summer. I do not want to be bothered, so make sure to clear the beaches or I'll do it for you, ok? Though I suppose if none of you show up then it won't be nearly as fun as it could be, will it?

Oh, and to the police who will no doubt be staking out the beach undercover and harassing every person who decides to risk going this summer, remember one thing.

I'll be watching you.

So do be careful, won't you?

The tape cut out, and the VCR popped the tape out. I heard Lily gulp, and glanced back to see Axel with his head resting in one hand.

"What the hell have you been doing, Bertrand?" Lily whispered, backing away slowly.

"Discovering the truth," came a wheezing voice, making us all jump. The accompanied heavy coughing, however, made it seem less of a threat, and so I stupidly turned a corner to face down the owner of the voice.

And then I saw him. Him. The Duskull mask, the black robes…. They were there, standing right in front of me.

I screamed, falling to the floor. Before the sobs could come out, though, Axel was there, grabbing my shoulders and steadying me, talking soothingly.

"It's ok. It's just a costume," he whispered, turning my head towards it again. "There's no one behind it, look, it's just a replica. It's ok. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Looking again, my senses restored, I saw that the costume was just that… a costume, hanging on the wall in what almost seemed like… a shrine. Looking around the room, I saw that, in addition to the reconstructed costume, there were hundreds of photographs of what I took to be Death's various crime scenes, as well as a large object, covered by an enormous blanket. Sitting on a bed in the corner, eyes ragged from obsessive work and lack of sleep was Bertrand, a wiry, middle-aged man with far too many grey hairs.

"Bertrand…" Lily said carefully, slowly walking towards the man, package in hand. "I don't know… what all this, and I don't want to… just… here's your medicine. Why don't we take you upstairs, lay you down, and…"

"Quiet!" the man yelled, force undermined by the violent coughing fit that followed. "I don't need any more fake sympathy from you, Vanna."

"Vanna?" Axel asked confused. "I think the sickness has gone to your head, Bertie, her name is Lily."

I sighed. "Axel…" I patiently explained. "I think it's pretty obvious that this girl's been lying through her teeth the whole time."

"Way to be subtle about it," Vanna whispered.

"No need to be shy about it, love, it's who you are," Bertie spat.

"Bertrand, for the last time," Vanna said, seeming genuinely exasperated. "I am not just friends with you because it makes you more likely to fix things for me!" She blinked. "That… that didn't help."

"No need to pretend anymore," the man coughed. "I haven't much time left… but, at the very least, I can make this world better before I go."

"By… training Pokémon to kill people?" I asked.

"What? No! By bringing the people responsible for all this to justice!"

"People… plural?" Axel asked.

"Ay…" the man said, getting up slowly from his bed and pulling files from a nearby filing cabinet. "I've been doing a lot of searching. Going through articles, watching his speeches… you want to know what I've found?" He slammed into Axel's hands. "The details for the so-called 'Ginli deaths'… they're not nearly as precise as the ones detailing Salvout's."

I looked at one of the papers, the Salvout Sun. "All of these are Salvout newspapers…" I said. "Since out two nations aren't exactly open with each other… of course they won't be as detailed."

"Yeah?" Bertrand spat. "Then what about his speeches, eh? Why does he always address Salvout, huh? If there are really people dying on both sides, why does he single us out?"

"Bertrand…" Vanna said slowly. "Salvout and Ginli have different television networks…. Completely different broadcasting systems. Don't you think…"

"I've done my thinking!" Bertrand yelled, drawing another ragged cough from his chest. "And you know what? They've got that asylum over in Lakeless, right? The one where all of Ginli's freaks are put? Well here's what I figure…" he leaned closer, and we all instinctively flinched. "They decided they'd let one of them loose on us over her in Salvout, yeah? Thin out our numbers. Soften us up so we'll be more likely to surrender when they come and try and take us over again, yeah? Well I won't have it!"

He hobbled over to the large object, grasping the blanket. "It's taken years… scrounging part after part. I feel like I've had to fight Death off with my bare hands just to stay alive long enough to complete it… but now it's done! Now I'll make them pay for what they've done to our country!"

And he pulled back the blanket, revealing a missile. At least, an attempt at one.

"Easy, easy easy!" Axel screamed. "Let's not get hasty here! I'm sure that there's…"

"There is no other way!" The man yelled insanely, fire burning in his weary eyes. All I've got to do is press the button and this will soar towards Ginli, taking them all out in one fell swoop!"

"Bertrand, stop!" Vanna yelled, running forward and grabbing the man with both hands. "We're underground! And that clearly will not work! Come back with me, you need help!"

"I don't need help from someone like you!" he screamed, throwing her away with strength he shouldn't have had. Desperately, he slammed down the large red button on the side of the missile, and to my horror, a flame burst out from under the missile. With no functional targeting system, it flew straight forward… towards the basement wall not ten feet away.

It… it's just not supposed to be this way!

Author's Note:

Question's never asked, ans… wait. What is with this question doing actually having been asked?

I'm not exactly prepared for this. Focus, Amaxing! Chug that Monster Rehab (now available in stores!)! You can do this!

While not actually phrased as a question, reader Stollos said something similar to the following:

Why is it that eighteen-year-old trainers started showing up almost immediately after the age limit was raised? Shouldn't there have been a gap of eight years for people who hadn't gone through the gyms before to finally be of age? And isn't travelling on the Gym Leader's circuit now a bit suicidal?

These are all good points! I honestly don't know why you guys didn't pick up on them before! + 5 for Stollos, - 10 for everyone else! Nah, just kidding. MINUS TWENTY for everyone else. But seriously, it's fine.

Basically, since travelling through the various nations on the way to reaching the Pokémon league championship is so crucial to the peace treaty between Salvout and Ginli, it's set up a little differently than usual. Gym badges are only good for the year that they're issued, and then the League issues new ones. To the same gyms, yes, but with various modifications to the types and levels of Pokémon used for earning each badge.

It's a pretty complicated and highly regulated system, yeah, and that was before the killings started. Because of this, being a trainer is basically like holding a full-time job. That, in turn, is why trainers continue to travel the circuit, even with Death on the loose. For many of them, it's all they've ever wanted to do… in some cases it's all they know.

But since Toto is the only one who bothers explaining such things in story, I can see why it would seem like a continuity issue. And even if, somehow, someway, the incredibly likely event occurred that I just overlooked this issue… now that I've given this explanation, IT IS CANON.

So yeah… answering reader inquiries… now officially a thing? Let's hope so. It's fun. Thanks Stollos!

Viva la feminism? (Is this my official signature now?)