Cerulean Silver vs. Amber Gold
by hikaranko
Summary: Ed has been put on his stupidest assignment yet: babysitting. Well, that's not what everyone else would call it, but to Edward Elric, it's exactly like babysitting... Over the months, Ed's learned a lot of new things, one of them being "never stick your nose in where it's not wanted." But now it's too late to back out. Something must be done, before the situation gets any worse... FMA/HP crossover. kinda sorta may possibly be slightly AU with HBP and with FMA. rated T for language.
Disclaimer: For reasons beyond my control (and greatly to my own disappointment), I do not own the Fullmetal Alchemist or Harry Potter series. FMA belongs to the great and mighty Hiromu Arakawa, and HP belongs to the equally great and mighty J.K. Rowling. The idea of this story belongs to the not quite as great and mighty me. The story is my baby. MJade-1 is its only godparent:D
Author's Note: I am horribly, horribly, horribly obscenely sorry that this has taken so long to get out. Seriously. Writer's block is still haunting me something awful, but I owe it to you guys and your endless patience to just… update already. This is kind of an interesting chapter… in its way.
to the unrepliable reviews that I wanted to reply to (XD):
Lachwen - lmao! yes, it is quite fun to get people in trouble. I enjoy it, too, hence randomly throwing Ed into detention with Snape after getting back from vacation. Mjade was like "what'd you do that for? what'll happen there?" and I was just like "oh... I dunno." :P but anyways... I guess some of your questions are right about to be answered! ;)
spam and tuna - here's a new face! lol, thanks so much for all the compliments! there are days when I wish I really was a professional writer (then I could just blow off school 'cause I need to "work" XD)... that would be cool. I wish I had a contact with a publisher or something... but then I'd be inciting all sorts of weird copyright infringements with this story, wouldn't I? yikes! anywho... (lol, CSAG is mucho Edward fanservice XD) thanks for reviewing! glad ya love my baby. :P
Light Dragon SunsSong - heehee... your questions are to be answered right here and now! buwahahaa!
and now.. on with the new-ness!
Chapter 33
Night Talks
Alphonse fidgeted, shifting his weight anxiously from one leg to the other. He couldn't help it; finding out that his brother had been injured and sent to the hospital wing was enough to send him into just short of a panic. He'd been inside the Gryffindor common room playing with Crookshanks when Ginny ran in and bee-lined toward him. She hurriedly told him about how she'd just found out from a ghost that Draco Malfoy and Edward Elric had just been sent to the hospital wing.
He didn't even hesitate. Al had rushed out the portrait hole before Ginny could tell him exactly what had happened.
So there he was, standing in the hallway outside of the infirmary, trying to figure out if it was safe to go inside to see his brother yet. He'd seen Harry and Snape exiting the infirmary not long ago (neither one of them seemed to notice him as they passed), but the doors were shut and Al didn't know whether or not that meant visitation was allowed.
After a few more minutes he decided he'd take his chances. His concern for his older brother's well being was not an easy thing to suppress. He laid one hand on the door, carefully pushing it open and trying to remain as quiet as possible. Once the space was wide enough for Al's head to slip through, he peered into the room and looked around. The hospital wing looked deserted. The lights were dimmed, probably to help the patients rest. Deciding that his brother was probably asleep, Al took a step back, ready to leave, but then he caught a quick flash of blue light from behind the white curtain. Al would have smiled. He could recognize an alchemic reaction, no matter how small, from a mile away.
He was just about to fully enter when there was sudden, loud ruckus from down the hall outside the infirmary. It sounded like some sort of shrill wailing like that of a banshee or a siren. Al whirled around awkwardly, banging into the door and essentially throwing it wide open. He took a few steps away from the door and looked wildly up and down the corridor to see who was approaching. Soon enough, a pug-nosed girl with short dark hair in Slytherin robes turned one of the corners and began to run toward the infirmary.
"DRAKEYYYYY!" she was screaming. Al could've sworn there were tears in her eyes as she hurled herself into the hospital ward. "OH, DRAKEY!"
Al watched, somewhat dumbfounded, as the girl practically flew to the closed off area and threw back one of the curtains. Behind it was Draco, lying quite still on the bed with his eyes shut. He appeared to be fast asleep.
"Would you warn me before you go around screaming like that?!" yelled Ed from the other side of the room. "You coulda shattered my eardrums!"
The girl ignored him and continued to wail at the top of her lungs, both of her hands clasped over one of Draco's and her face buried into the mattress. Al couldn't help feeling somewhat relieved to have heard Ed's voice. If he had the energy to yell like that, then Ed was fine.
"Excuse me!" came the stern voice of Madam Pomfrey as she once again emerged from her office. "This is a hospital! Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Elric are still recovering, so would you kindly keep your voice down?!"
"Bloody hell, Pans. You screaming at the top of your lungs like that is only going to make Malfoy feel worse."
More teenagers in Slytherin robes had just strolled into the hospital ward, one of whom Al recognized to be Blaise Zabini. In an almost casual, nonchalant manner, they crossed the room to join the girl where she wept at Draco's bedside, ignoring the indignant expression clearly written across Madam Pomfrey's face.
"Ah, to wake to the screeching and wailing of Pansy Parkinson..." Blaise Zabini sighed mockingly, making an innocent face at the girl. "Pure bliss!"
Pansy paused to give Blaise a scathing look before proceeding to wail even harder.
One of two large, thick-set boys walking alongside Blaise seemed confused. "I dunno, Zabini," he mumbled. "Her voice hurts my ears."
Blaise laughed, dismissing the boy's failure to recognize his mockery. The tall, weedy-looking boy walking ahead of them looked irritated by it. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, turning back to Pansy. She was face-down on the mattress, sobbing dramatically.
"He's not dead yet, Pansy," he drawled.
"Oh, shut up, Theodore!" she shrieked. "He came dangerously close to it!"
Zabini turned to look at Ed and nodded at him in greeting, smirking slightly. "And how're you holding up, Elric?"
A pillow flew right into the black boy's face with a soft thump. "Just peachy."
Madam Pomfrey frowned disapprovingly. "All of you, keep your voices down!" she repeated, walking toward them. "They need to rest. All of this screaming and harassing will do them no good, I assure you! And Mr. Elric, I will not have you throwing pillows about!"
There was a displeased grunt from Ed's side of the room, followed by another thump as he flopped back into his mattress. None of the Slytherins seemed to care for Ed's discomfort or Madam Pomfrey's annoyance. They merely settled themselves around Draco's bed, prodding his sleeping figure and making fun of Pansy. Madam Pomfrey's frown deepened. She was just about to go over and forcibly kick them out when she realized that someone was still waiting by the entrance. She spun around on her heel and found Alphonse, standing awkwardly in the doorway, his hands clasped together in front of him.
"I suppose you want to visit Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Elric, too?"
"Well... Yes. I-If that's okay..." Madam Pomfrey frowned at him. "Please, ma'am?" His voice was gentle and insistent. "I... I'm Ed's brother."
Madam Pomfrey's expression softened slightly. She finally gave in, heaving an exasperated sigh. "I'll give you all ten minutes. After that, I'm going to have to force you out. They need their rest. Be sure to let those Slytherins know."
Al nodded meekly and walked forward. He wasn't sure what Draco's visitors would say or think when they saw him. The only one amongst them he had properly met (more or less, anyway) was Blaise Zabini, and Al had his doubts on whether or not the boy would remember him. Still, he made his way over to Ed's bedside.
Ed had been glowering at the Slytherins from across the room, silently wishing some swift yet painful fate to befall them within the next minute. He'd had no luck in the matter so far, though he should have guessed as much. Fate and fortune had never really favored Edward Elric. His expression notably lightened to one of mild surprise when Al pulled back the white curtain and stepped forward.
"Al? What're you...?"
"I heard you were in here, and... Is that medicine on your face, nii-san? You're... you're cut?! You're hurt!"
The light was immediately extinguished from Ed's face. "Very observant of you, Al..."
"Wh-What happened to you?!"
Ed raised his hands slightly and extended one out to Al. "Calm down, you're-"
Al looked down at Ed's hands and jumped. "Blood! Your gloves - Your robes!All covered in blood! What did you do?!"
"You're overreacting, Al! It's not all my blood, I'm fine, I swear!"
The younger brother's shoulders relaxed, and he looked up so that he was staring right into Ed's face. "But... what happened?"
Ed smiled sardonically. "You didn't hear? Sheesh, and here I thought the whole world knew every detail by now. It's almost been a full half hour! I guess the Hogwarts grapevine is slipping."
"Nii-san."
"All right, all right." He took a deep breath, preparing himself. "Pretty much-"
"It's Potter's fault!"
The Elric brothers turned to look at Pansy, who had suddenly raised her head and was now looking angrily at everyone that surrounded her. The other Slytherin boys had fallen silent at her sudden outburst, the prodding fingers of Zabini and one of the Crabbe/Goyles hovering uncertainly over Draco's forehead. She eventually set her furious gaze on Al, her face red in anger.
Al was confused. "What...?"
"I heard it all from that Moaning Myrtle!" she cried out hysterically. "She told us everything, the whole story! It was that horrible Potter! He did this! He's always hated Drakey, I'm sure he was jealous of him! It's a hate crime, that's what this is, done for no reason at all! Oh, my poor Drakey, he's never done anything to him, but just look at the state he's in! Oh, look at his wounds and his - his - Oh, Merlin! His face! His beautiful face!"
She gestured at the line of dittany that had been dabbed over the cut between Draco's eyes. Then, apparently unable to bear the idea of there being a flaw on Draco's marble skin, Pansy threw herself back down on the bed and cried some more. Al was even more confused and looked to Ed for help. Ed just rolled his eyes and shook his head in response.
"For one," drawled Nott, looking rather bored, "he's not yours. For another, it's just a scratch. He could be worse off than he is."
There was suddenly a malevolent glimmer in Nott's eyes as he looked at Draco. He sounded almost disappointed that the Malfoy heir wasn't dead.
"Besides," said one of the Crabbe/Goyles with a nonchalant shrug, "it might actually be a pretty cool looking-"
"Oh, don't say it!" Pansy hissed, slapping the boy on the arm. "That horrible word... Don't you dare even think it!"
Crabbe/Goyle blinked. "You mean 'scar'?"
Pansy let out another earth-shattering wail. Zabini and Nott started to laugh at her. Ed glared.
"Stupid, shallow, crazy ass..."
"Nii-san?"
Ed broke off his glare and looked back at Al, blinking as he recognized the worry in his tone and posture. "What?"
"Did... Is she telling the truth?" Al looked over at Pansy and Draco. Zabini had just said something that made the girl cry harder. "Did Mr. Harry really do this to you and Mr. Draco?"
Edward didn't answer. Instead, he lowered his eyes and stared intently into his lap. The Slytherin boys across the room all burst into laughter at something Nott had just said. After a moment had passed without any response, Al turned back toward his older brother.
"It... It must have been an accident. Right?"
He shut his eyes for a moment and sighed heavily.
"Mr. Harry would never-!"
"Al..."
"He wouldn't, nii-san, I know he wouldn't! You do too, don't you?!"
Ed finally raised his eyes to meet his little brother's. "Alphonse."
The tall suit of armor went slightly rigid. Ed never said his complete name unless he was formally introducing him or if he was deadly serious about something. Al knew that it was the latter situation this time. He quickly tried to pull himself together as he held Ed's stern gaze.
"It was an accident," Al repeated, more quietly this time. "It must have been."
"I dunno," Ed said after a moment, sighing and looking away again. "He said he didn't mean it, that he didn't know what it did, but still... He should've known better than to just jump in and try it, y'know?" He groaned and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Not that Malfoy was any better..."
Al's shoulders relaxed as he looked down at his older brother. "Nii-san..."
"All right, all of you," bellowed Madam Pomfrey from the other side of the infirmary, "your ten minutes are up! That is quite enough visitation for one night, I should think! It's time you leave Mr. Malfoy to his rest!"
She hurried over to the Slytherins, who had resumed prodding Draco as he slept, and made shooing gestures at them. Pansy raised her head to look at the head nurse and made a face.
"No one said anything about a time limit!" she sobbed.
Madam Pomfrey gave Al a look. Al bowed his head and stared abashedly at his feet.
"Well you had a good ten minutes, and now I must insist that you leave. You may come back in the morning if you like. Quickly now, out you go."
Blaise smirked slightly and hopped down from Draco's bed, gesturing to the others that it was time to leave. Ed rolled his eyes at the sight: Zabini had wasted no time in taking over Draco's position as the group's leader. Crabbe and Goyle forcibly tore Pansy away from the bed and dragged her off, still sobbing and wailing as she went. Zabini and Nott followed soon after, saying "good night" to Edward in the usual Slytherin manner, which involved a pillow being thrown at him. Ed caught the pillow before it hit his face and scowled after the boys as they left. Madam Pomfrey stood dutifully at the door, seeing all of them out. Once they had all gone, Ed let out an exhausted breath.
"Good riddance," he muttered, leaning back into his pillows. "Spoiled, immature idiots..."
Al laughed slightly. "Admit it, nii-san."
"Admit what?"
"That you like them." When Ed turned slightly toward him, a puzzled expression on his face, Al continued with a laugh. "You've all become friends, haven't you? Admit it!"
Ed's frown deepened and he looked up at the ceiling, scratching a spot on his unwounded cheek. "'Friends' is... such a strong word. They're more like good acquaintances."
Al just laughed again. Ed shot him an annoyed look.
"What? They can't even visit a sick person properly! I'm supposed to find that endearing?! Gimme a break!"
The younger Elric would have grinned. He couldn't help remembering Hughes' frequent visits the last time Ed had been hospitalized. He knew that, even though Ed always complained that the lieutenant colonel was annoying, he'd sincerely enjoyed and appreciated the visits. As though he were able to read Al's mind, Ed quickly turned away, not wanting to help his perceptive younger brother realize that he'd just remembered the very same thing.
"At least they had the decency to come visit at all."
"Yeah, sure," Ed grumbled, freeing his hair from its braid only to pull it back into a simpler ponytail. "Their consciences are now clear."
"Mr. Elric," called Madam Pomfrey to Alphonse, her tone still strict and unyielding, "I'll have to ask you to leave now. Your little brother needs to recover in peace tonight."
A deep, rumbling growl escaped Ed's throat and Al quickly laid one hand on his shoulder and the other over his mouth to keep him from leaping out of the bed, cursing profusely and flailing his fists. Actually, the cursing still came out; it was just muffled considerably. Al nodded to the nurse, chuckling amusedly to himself.
"Okay, ma'am." He then turned back to Ed, who had resorted to growling in the general direction of the nurse's office with his hands clenched tightly around his blankets. Al released him. "Well... I guess I'll go now. She's right, nii-san. You need to rest."
"I'm perfectly fine." He glowered about his surroundings. "Man, I hate hospitals..."
"It's only for one night. Just go to sleep, and then leave when you get up in the morning. You're tired anyway, right?"
Once again, Ed frowned at the frightening perceptiveness of his younger brother. He wondered what would happen if he shut Al and Dumbledore in the same room for a day. For all Ed knew, they'd have wise, unspoken conversations the whole time.
"Fine, fine," he muttered, closing his eyes and allowing himself to sink deeper into his bed. 'At least the beds here are nice and soft...'
Al nodded in approval and turned to go. "Try not to hurt the head nurse while you're here, okay?"
"All right already, quit worrying." His eyes still shut, Ed gave Al a toothy grin. "I'll be good."
The mischievous tone in Ed's voice made Al worry even more, but he couldn't do much with Madam Pomfrey waiting for him to leave the hospital wing. He glanced back at Ed one last time with a deep sigh of mock-aggravation (which made Ed laugh slightly) and then continued on his way out, drawing the white curtain shut. Al also laughed slightly, shaking his head and knowing that his older brother was a hopeless case.
Ed settled comfortably into his bed as Alphonse left and the lights dimmed again. He listened to Madam Pomfrey bustle back into her office and shut the door behind her. Then the room was silent, save for the soft sound of him and Draco breathing. He opened his eyes shortly after, letting them adjust to how dark the room now was while he stared at a spot on the ceiling. He looked over at Draco, apparently still asleep, his clothes covered in blood. He then raised his own blood-stained hands over his head so that he could see them.
It was an accident. Alphonse had insisted on it. But it was just so irresponsible of Harry to perform a spell that he wasn't familiar with. It was dangerous. Where did he learn that spell? How had he even known to pull it out and use it at all? A rush of impetuous anger seized Ed and he frowned, clenching his hands into fists.
"Edward?"
He jumped slightly into an awkward sitting position at the voice and turned to see who was there. Peering out from behind the white curtain, Ed could just make out the features of a face in the dim light. He blinked in surprise as he struggled to sit up properly.
"Hermione?"
She stepped forward, quickly looked him up and down, and then sighed in relief. "Oh thank goodness! You're all right! Alphonse said you were injured!"
Ed rolled his eyes and chuckled softly. "Nothing to worry about, it's just a little scratch. Al must have been exaggerating again. He gets so dramatic sometimes..."
Hermione smiled slightly, wringing her hands and shifting her weight from one leg to the other. She seemed very anxious about something. Ed just waited, looking at her curiously.
"Harry... told us what happened."
Ed's smile instantly dropped off his face and he quickly averted his eyes.
"Well, what we could get out of him, anyways, he seemed quite shaken up."
"Oh."
He fell silent for a moment after that, staring at the edge of his bed. Hermione watched him anxiously, shifting uncomfortably in the tense, awkward silence. Right as she was about to speak up, Ed beat her to it.
"Tell him that next time he hears about some random spell and wants to try it out," he started, his voice biting and harsh in a fit of bitterness, "he should look up what it does beforehand. We won't always be around to be his guinea pigs."
Hermione frowned. "That's not fair, Edward."
Ed just shrugged, turning his blank stare to one of the empty beds nearby. Hermione let out an exasperated sigh, pushing some hair out of her face.
"I've already given him the reprimand of a lifetime, believe me. And he's already been punished by Snape and Professor McGonagall. Detention every Saturday for the remainder of the term-"
A soft, mirthless chuckle escaped him. "Good."
Hermione frowned again. She hesitated before speaking next, sorting things out in her head first. "Edward, Harry didn't know what the spell did, much less know what he was doing. I mean, of course it doesn't justify what he did to you and Malfoy, but... he really is very sorry."
Ed slowly turned to look back up at Hermione and studied the seriousness in her eyes. There was a familiar pleading behind it that was so similar to Al's it was uncanny.
"It was an accident. Mr. Harry would never! I know he wouldn't! You do too, don't you?"
Al's insistent voice once again echoed in Ed's mind. He took a deep breath, trying to push away the stubborn anger and be rational. Harry had been irresponsible in using a spell he'd never used before on them, but it had been a desperate moment. Draco almost used an Unforgivable Curse on him, after all. Ed should have been glad that he'd been stopped, regardless. He should have been grateful that, all things considered, they were still able to walk away from it, alive.
"It was an accident. It must have been."
He released a long, drawn out breath, as though he was expelling his anger from his system. Then he finally gave Hermione a small but genuine smile.
"Don't worry about it, Hermione," he told her with a shake of his head. He thought back to the last time he was hospitalized. "I've been through worse. I guess it's not that big a deal or anything."
Hermione's eyebrows came together in concern. "It is a big deal." She then sighed, her expression lightening. "But I'm just so relieved you're all right."
Ed's smile grew a little bit and he slowly looked away again. Hermione lowered her eyes down to her hands, chewing on her lower lip.
"So... er... How is he?"
He turned back to Hermione, blinking in confusion. "Who?"
"Dra - I mean..." She shook her head slightly, her eyes still lowered. "Malfoy. Is... Is he doing okay? I mean, I heard he was seriously hurt and..." She drew in a deep breath. "Oh, I don't know... Will he be all right?"
Ed briefly glanced over at Draco. "Well... Madam Pomfrey says he'll be fine, just needs to rest."
Hermione closed her eyes and let out what sounded like a breath of relief. At that, Ed looked back at Hermione and raised an inquisitive eyebrow. He studied her face for a moment, noting the visible relaxing of her pose and expression.
"Why?" The question was drawn out slowly, with an overwhelming sense of curiosity. "What's with the sudden worrying? I thought you didn't really like Malfoy."
"Well, not to the point of wanting him fatally injured!" Hermione answered, frowning at Ed in what seemed to be disapproval. She then said, in a softer voice, "I wouldn't want that for anyone... not even him."
Ed gave her a funny look, not quite sure he'd caught what she just said. "What?"
She looked back up at Ed in surprise, as though she'd forgotten he was there. She then started talking very quickly. "I mean, from what Harry said, it sounded rather... severe. I-I wouldn't want Harry to get into any more trouble than he's already in."
She once again looked back down at her feet and chewed on her lower lip. Ed continued to study her, the skeptical look on his face unchanged. Why on earth would Hermione care about how badly Draco had been hurt? It was of no real concern or consequence to her. It wasn't like they were friends-
Ed's eyes grew wide in realization. His face slowly cracked into a wry smile. "Reeeally..."
Hermione looked back at Ed. Her eyebrows came together. "Why are you looking at me that way?"
With the smile still secure on his face, Ed looked away in a gesture of innocence. "Oh, no real reason..."
The Gryffindor quickly averted her eyes, taking a deep breath as she began to realize the awkwardness of her position. When she turned back to Ed, ready to leave the ward, he was giving her the same wry look as before, his smile having now dissolved into a smirk.
"Stop it!" she demanded. "It's making me feel uncomfortable."
Edward laughed slightly. "Sorry 'bout that."
"No you're not," Hermione said with a roll of her eyes. She heaved a sigh. "Well, seeing as you and Malfoy are both in one piece, and Harry managed not to kill anybody, I'd better be going now."
She nodded her head as an almost curt gesture of goodbye and turned to go. Ed leaned forward on his knees, resting his chin in one hand as he watched Hermione leave. He couldn't help but be amused by this sudden turn of events. He stole a quick glance in the direction of Draco's bed.
It looked as though he'd just found the silver lining. 'I'll have to remember to actually thank Harry for this.'
"Y'know, Hermione," he called after her, making her stop and turn back around, "if you really want the reassurance... He's right across from me."
A look of confusion played across Hermione's face. "Who?"
The amused smirk returned. "Draco."
Hermione blinked. "Huh?" She turned quickly, as though meaning to look for herself, and then turned back as she changed her mind. Her bushy hair whipped into her face and she had to push it away again as she recomposed herself. "Oh no, that's all right. Your word is good enough, Edward."
Ed's smirk grew. "Whatever you say, Hermione."
"Yes. Anyway. I ought to go." She nodded, reconfirming her earlier decision to leave. Hermione turned around once more and quietly headed for the door.
"Wait a second."
She stopped again and, heaving yet another great sigh, turned back to face Ed. There was a light blush on his face as he stared down at the foot of his bed, as though that's where he would find what he wanted to say. This wasn't really something he was accustomed to, nor did he think he was particularly good at doing, but he knew that he should do it all the same. He scratched the back of his neck and laughed a little awkwardly.
"Um... Thanks. For coming to see me. I mean, I don't usually get a lot of visitors when I'm hurt or sick. Besides Al, anyway."
He mentally rolled his eyes. Slacker Amestrian military staff, so-called "bodyguards," and mechanics didn't count. They were all stern frowns and business. Or just downright annoying.
Hermione smiled. "Oh, it's not a problem. You're my friend, and I was worried."
Ed looked over at Hermione, somewhat surprised at what she'd said. He couldn't help but smile back. Hermione Granger really was an amazing person. He was really glad that she considered him a friend. She was probably one of the only real ones he'd made since arriving at Hogwarts.
"Yeah..." He grinned slightly and glanced over at Draco again. "Y'know... Draco could really use someone like you in his life. It would do him some good."
Hermione suddenly looked a bit startled. "Er... I suppose he could." Her eyes briefly darted in Draco's direction and then turned back to the floor. She sighed sadly. "Though I doubt he'd let anyone in. Least of all someone like me." When she glimpsed the mild confusion that had just appeared in Ed's eyes, she sighed again. "I'm Muggle-born, remember?"
The confusion melted off Ed's face, replaced with a stern, solemn look. This again. He was so tired of the shallow, idiotic House rivalries and the way Pansy's nose wrinkled in disgust whenever someone mentioned the Gryffindors. He was so sick of these wizards and their obsession with "blood purity." He hated the social racism that was so prominent in their society. It fueled Voldemort's teachings, brought legions of followers to his side. It had to be stopped.
"Hermione," he said, his voice just as solemn and firm as his expression. "You don't have to take that. Don't buy into the Slytherins' bullshit about 'purebloods' and 'filth.' You're one of the most amazing people I've ever met. Blood purity or whatever shouldn't be an issue. And Draco's a total moron if he can't look past that."
The young Gryffindor looked up at Ed in shock, blinking slowly as his words sank into her mind. Then her expression changed again, this time into a soft, warm smile.
"Thanks, Edward. That's... That's very sweet of you to say."
"Well, it's the truth," Ed replied with a helpless shrug. "But you're welcome."
Still smiling warmly, Hermione walked back to Ed's bedside, leaned over, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He blushed and offered her another genuine smile as she moved away, tucking some of her bushy hair behind one ear.
"Good night, Edward."
"Night, Hermione."
She nodded her head slightly and quietly crossed the room to leave. Ed yawned loudly as the door swung shut and leaned back into his pillows. The past hour of his life had really taken quite a toll on him and Ed felt he owed it to himself to finally get some sleep. He adjusted himself to find a more comfortable position on the bed and quietly waited for sleep to claim him at last.
The next time Ed opened his eyes, it was still night. This fact irritated him, since he preferred to sleep in as much as he could when he had the luxury to. He groaned and shifted slightly so that he could get a better look around the room. The lights in the ward had been turned off and the only sources of illumination were the tall, arched windows lining the walls and the torrents of pale silver moonlight that flooded through the glass. Ed blinked drowsily and rolled over in bed, wanting nothing more than to go right back to sleep. He pulled himself up slightly to fix the pillows, punching them softly to fluff them up. He was just about to flop back into them and continue snoring when he caught a glimpse of something move out of the corner of his eye. He blinked again, starting to feel a little more awake, and turned his head so that he was facing Draco's bed.
Draco was sitting up in bed, seemingly staring out the window, his face blank. He was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, the fingers of one hand entangled in his long, wispy platinum-blonde hair. The stream of moonlight fell over his features, sharpening them dramatically, making him look almost like a marble statue of some Greek adonis. What gave him away as a living, breathing human being was the occasional frustrated sigh that escaped him.
Ed just looked at him for a moment, propping himself up with his arms and wondering what time it was and how long they had been asleep.
"You're finally awake," he managed to mumble, stifling a yawn.
The Slytherin didn't say anything in response and merely continued to stare blankly out the window. Ed shrugged to himself, looking away with another yawn.
"Don't touch the goop on your face," he said again as he stretched out his limbs. "Madam Pomfrey said it's supposed to set in to bring down the scarring or something."
Silence. Ed ran a hand through his hair, sighing.
"Though I guess it's not really like that's necessary... So long as you don't pick at a scab, there shouldn't be too bad a scar. That's common knowledge."
More silence. He glanced over at the red bottle on Draco's bedside.
"And I'm guessing you're supposed to take some of that stuff every now and again." He gestured to the bottle. "Blood-Replenishing Potion, I think..."
Ed raised an eyebrow as he looked at Draco again. He wondered if the Slytherin had heard a single word he'd said. He shrugged to himself and scratched an itch on the back of his head.
"Makes sense, I guess. You did kinda lose a lot of blo-"
"As touching as your concern for me is, Elric," interrupted Draco, his voice soft but harsh, "do you honestly think it matters anymore?"
Ed blinked, a little caught off guard at having been cut off. "What are you talking about? Think what matters anymore?"
Draco slowly shifted his position so that he was facing Ed. A single silver eye could be seen glaring across the room at him through the veil of pale hair and the dark shadows over Draco's face.
"You really have no idea how you've fucked things up, do you?"
His golden eyes grew wider in his head and he drew in a sharp breath. He could feel his mouth suddenly go dry. All he could do was hold Draco's angry gaze.
"You should have just let Potter finish me off... You didn't have to interfere."
With that, he hid his eyes again and turned away. A powerful feeling of anger coursed through Ed's veins as he looked at Draco. He sat up straighter, clenching his blankets in his fists.
"Let him finish you off? I saved you, you're lucky to still be alive! What good do you think dying would do you, huh?"
"What don't you get, Elric?" Draco snapped, pushing his hand the rest of the way through his hair and keeping his face hidden in shadow. "If Potter had killed me... this whole thing would be over! My... My loyalties, obligations, duty... it wouldn't matter anymore! I wouldn't have to endure this pain and torment any longer!"
"Big words," Ed growled, "considering you sounded terrified of being killed a little while ago."
"I'd rather it were Potter than him."
Ed narrowed his eyes. "So dying's the way out, huh? You think it's the big solution to everything?! That's just running away! It won't make those problems disappear, it'll just-!"
Draco raised his head and faced Edward, frustration clearly etched into his face. "Elric, you have no idea! None at all! I have nothing left in my life anymore, there's nothing left to live for. I'm only alive because they tell me I'm alive. I only exist because they say I exist. My heart will keep pumping, my blood will run through my veins, but my spirit is wasting away. What you don't understand, Elric, is that I should have died a long time ago..." He dropped his voice so that it was dangerously soft. "But you... because of you and your meddling... you slowed the fucking process down."
The frown on Ed's face deepened. For a long moment he was silent and just looked back at Draco, his face firmly set. The rage continued to seethe quietly through his being. He was furious that Draco thought that way. Part of him was further enraged by the fact that it was a feeling that he himself was terribly familiar with.
"What about your mom?" he said quietly.
It was Draco's turn to deepen his frown. He tightly clenched his jaw and continued to hold Ed's angry stare.
"Well?" Ed prompted. "You still have your mom to live for, don't you? With your dad in prison, you're all she has left. What do you think will happen to her if you died, if you let yourself get killed? Especially by something as idiotic as a rivalry brawl with Harry Potter in the bathroom at school?"
"If you'd have let Potter finish me off, she would have still lived!" Draco argued hotly. "But since I didn't die, a great big fucking thanks to you, Elric, I'm back in my previous dilemma! My mother... if I fail this assignment, she'd be as good as dead anyway. If I succeed, I'll be wishing I was dead!"
"Death won't help," Ed snapped, raising his voice. "It'll just make things worse. If you die then you've given up. You've failed, and if you fail then your mom gets killed. The only reason she's being kept alive is to get used as leverage on you. Do you really think they'd just let her live when they have no more use for her? Your lives are expendable to him! At least while you're alive, you have the ability and the chance, the option, to do something to change things."
His fists were now so tightly clenched around his blanket that his knuckles had gone white underneath his gloves. He still vividly remembered when he was the one being scolded for choosing to be killed to save another's life. It had seemed so logical at the time: his death in exchange for the safety of his only family, the most important person in his life. But as Al had pointed out to him, such an act was stupid and selfish. There was no guarantee that the promise would be carried out, and once he was dead, there was nothing he could do about it either way. As long as there was a chance, some tiny glimmer of hope... That would always be enough to keep living for.
"Letting yourself die would mean throwing away that chance. And there's no one in this world that'll forgive you if you do that."
For a long moment they were both silent, Draco's head bowed so that shadows concealed his face. At length he spoke, but his voice was so soft that Ed had to strain to make out the words.
"No, Elric..." He paused to draw in a deep, shuddering breath. "Letting myself die means letting someone else have the chance to live." He raised his head to look at Ed with a desperate pain gleaming in his silver eyes. "And right now, that's all that really matters to me."
Ed's heart stopped for a moment when he saw the expression in Draco's eyes. A familiar pain panged through him, beating out his anger. Memories resurfaced of when he could have sworn he'd lost Al forever, of kneeling in the rain before a serial alchemist killer, exchanging his life for Al's... He sighed, running a hand through his long hair in frustration.
"Equivalent exchange, huh?" he murmured bitterly to himself. "Man, I know how that feels... But exchanging one life for another... can never be considered equivalent..."
Draco hadn't heard his soft murmurings and, after a period of silence, spoke again. His voice was even softer than before, and his tone practically exuded hopelessness. It was as though one could hear Draco's heart plummeting a few more feet with every syllable.
"I need her to be alive," he whispered, "to stay alive. And I had to live in order to make sure she would be okay. Safe from harm." He closed his eyes and took in a deep, painful breath. "You have no clue how it feels to know that you no longer have control over her security. Back then, when Lucius was still the Dark Lord's right hand man, they'd discussed what they should do with her... she was a major asset to Potter. I told my father day in and day out that I would take care of it. Leave it to me. But now..." Draco let out a humorless, bitter laugh, as though he were unable to believe the strange irony of his circumstances. "Lucius is in Azkaban. Things have changed. It's in the Dark Lord's hands now what happens to her. And I have no say in the matter any longer."
And his shoulders slumped, his face once again hidden in the deep shadows by his glowing, moonlit hair. Ed watched him carefully, expectantly, waiting for Draco's pride to resurface. It never did. He tore his eyes away and stared down at his hands as they clenched and unclenched around his hospital bed blanket.
"So what? That's it?!" he growled, getting upset again. "You're gonna give up, just like that?!"
There was another moment of tense, drawn out silence. Ed felt another flare of anger and he turned his eyes upward again so that he could set a decent glare on Draco, but the feeling was immediately washed away as memories flashed before him again. His grip on the blanket tightened even more. It seemed like a miracle that the fabric of his gloves had yet to rip.
"It's hopeless..." Ed just barely made out the words from Draco's disheartened whisper. "Hopeless..."
Ed's features softened sympathetically and he lowered his gaze again. He released the blanket from his death grip as a deep sadness settled in.
"You know something?" he said sadly, his voice just over a whisper. "More than once, I was ready to give up everything I had to protect someone. I was ready to die if it meant he'd have even the slightest chance of staying alive... Sometimes I thought staying alive was just too hard... Living with so many burdens on my shoulders... It would've been easier to just give up. But..." He took a deep breath and chuckled softly, almost bitterly to himself. "I couldn't afford to do that. No one would let me. No one wanted me to. So I never did."
Without raising his eyes, Draco slowly shook his head. "No," he murmured, once again so quiet that it sounded like he was talking more to himself than to Edward. "This is different, you don't understand... You don't know..."
"Maybe," Ed said with a frown. "I don't know much about Voldemort and I'm still figuring out how this - how this part of the world works, but... But if there's one thing I've learned, from everything I've ever been through, it's that you can't just give up without a fight. There's too much at stake here for you to just surrender."
"Have you not been listening to me, Elric?" Draco hissed, his eyes lifting to meet with Ed's. His gaze was so filled with pain that it was hard to hold. "I don't have even an ounce of the influence that I somehow had when Lucius was free! There's absolutely nothing I can do! No matter what I do, we're all going to end up dead..."
"There's gotta be something-"
"Like what, Elric?! There's nothing I can do for her anymore." It almost sounded like Draco was sobbing. "I'm all out of options... If you're as damn brilliant and wise as you claim to be, care to enlighten me?"
Ed opened his mouth to argue back, ready to suggest an alternative, a way to fight against Voldemort without getting anybody killed, but his voice caught in his throat. He was drawing a blank. A complete, hopeless looking blank. He wracked his brain for an extra minute, trying to come up with some kind of plan, but to no avail. Then, quietly, Draco lapsed back into his previous position, staring hopelessly out the window and falling into a silent vigil.
The young alchemist stared down at the foot of his bed. He swallowed anxiously, feeling something weigh heavily down on his being. What if it really was as hopeless a situation as Draco was saying? What if-
'No.'
Edward violently shoved the doubt away. He couldn't afford to feel that way. He would think of something. Somehow, someway... That much he was sure of. He just couldn't understand why his mind, usually full of plans and formulas and ideas, had suddenly become so blank.
Author's Note: more infinite thanks to MJade-1 and her brilliant writing prowess, for helping me out with Hermione and Draco. :)
(phew) so this chapter started out nice and refreshing. I feel like it's been forever since the last time I had all the Slytherins together and interacting like this. And this is probably one of those few times that Pansy really cracks me up. XD "his face! his beautiful face!" Damn, these Slytherins are hilarious. And Al! Oh man, I've missed that boy. I'm happy to have been able to write about him again, too. :D oh, and the "friends is such a… strong word" line is my little tip of the hat to Disney's Aladdin: Return of Jafar. It's something that Iago says several times… it just strikes me as very in character for Edward to say. :P
On another note, this chapter started out nice and light, and then suddenly got stuck with a very heavy weight to hold. This is a very important conversation between Ed and Draco, and it does, in a sense, break down quite a huge barrier. Not to say they're friends… far from it. But… yeah. There's some pretty intense conversation topics in there.
So… as always, please review! It may take another while before the next chapter is up, sorry to say... but your infinite patience with me has earned you all this one. :D