I don't know how long I aimlessly wander around Dauntless with Tyler clinging to me like he's afraid I might let him go and Tessa sleeping soundly in her carrier. I am absolutely livid but I'm also at a loss. I need to find someplace quiet so I can process what just happened and also so I can take care of my son who is still quietly sobbing. I soon find myself in the long, narrow hallway that leads to the infirmary and remember the standing appointment for my blood pressure check and decide it's as good a place as any to stop. Upon entering the waiting room, the unfamiliar intake nurse quickly ushers me through the double doors and back to an empty examination room. I sit Tessa's carrier down just inside the door but out of the way of anyone who should enter. I lower myself into the uncomfortable-looking metal chair in the corner of the room and instantaneously feel relief in my sore, tired back. I know I shouldn't be carrying either one of them around but it just couldn't be avoided this morning.
"Tyler, buddy, please look at Mommy," I quietly say to him, trying hard to not let my voice break. It takes him a while but he finally releases his hold on my neck and looks me in the eyes. How did that little bitch pick up on his insecurities? "That mean girl doesn't know what she's talking about. You know your Daddy loves you. He tells you all the time. He loves you just as much as I love you."
"But she say…" He can't finish his thought because he starts wailing again. I swear if I ever lay eyes on her again, she's dead. No one hurts my kids like this, and gets away with it. No one. I hold him tightly as tears roll down my face.
"I'm sorry you had to hear her lies," I whisper, kissing his hair. "I would give anything to take it all back. You're such a sweet boy. You don't deserve people making you think that Daddy and I love you any differently just because you're adopted. It's not true." Wait a minute. How does she know Tyler and Tessa aren't his biological children? They are the spitting image of him. For all she knows, he could have had a relationship before me. Realization slaps me in the face. Someone's helping her, someone who knows all about Tobias. Of this I am 100% certain. "You know Mommy and Daddy love you, right?"
"Yeah," he says, his voice small and wounded. "Why she say it?" I kiss his stray tears away and think about his question.
"I'm not really sure but I think she was trying to hurt Mommy and Daddy," I say. This confuses him.
"She huwt you?"
"Yes, she did hurt me. She made you cry, and that hurts my heart very, very much," I say as silent tears slowly descend my cheeks again. He reaches up and wipes them away.
"No cwy, Mommy," he says before throwing his arms around my neck. "I sowwy."
"I love you, Tyler," I say as we cling to each other. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for."
"No, but I do," Tobias says from the now open doorway. Tyler and I both look up at him. "Tris, love, nothing that little … nothing Olivia said was true, not a single word. I have no idea why she said all those things. I hope you believe me." I stare into his remorseful eyes. He's in pain. That much is obvious.
"I know that everything she said is so far from the truth but I can't lie and say it didn't hurt," I say, sounding distant. "You need to reassure our son though." Tobias tries to take him from me but he refuses to go.
"No!" he wails, holding onto me for dear life. "I want my mommy!" He buries his head in my neck and starts crying again, wounding Tobias further. He kneels down in front of us and runs his hand lovingly over Tyler's head and back until he stops crying and peeks out at his father. They have identical anguished expressions on their faces, which constrict my heart painfully.
"Tyler, you have to believe me, I never said I didn't want you. It's just not true. Your mom, sisters, and you are the most important people in the whole world to me," he says, sounding distressed. "I may not be your biological father but that doesn't mean a thing. You are my flesh and blood, and I love you very much. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. I am proud to be able to call you my son and it means so much when you call me Daddy." He chokes up on the last few words, and Tyler throws himself into his arms. Tobias cries as he holds him close, and I tear up, too. I wrap my arms around them both, and we all cry healing tears. I see movement out of the corner of my eye and find Isobel backing out of the room slowly. She stops when our eyes meet. I quickly wipe away the tears that are streaming down my face.
"I'm so sorry," she says, sounding distressed for walking in on a private moment. "I see I'm interrupting something."
"That's okay but can you give us a few more minutes?" I quietly ask.
"Of course," she says. She leaves the room, closing the door behind her.
"Tori, Harrison, and Will are escorting Olivia off the premises as we speak," he says, emotion thick in his voice. "I thought it was more important to be with you and the kids right now. I don't know what her plan was but, thankfully, it failed." My mind goes to all our unanswered questions and I wonder, did she fail?
"I hope you're right about that," I mutter, mainly to myself. He furrows his brows at me but doesn't comment. "Are you feeling better, Tyler?"
"Yeah," he says. He wraps one arm around Tobias' neck and his other around mine and gives us each a big sloppy, wet kiss. "Love you."
"We love you, too," Tobias says.
"To the moon and back," I add.
"Moon and back," Tyler says with a small smile just as a knock interrupts us.
"I'm sorry about earlier," Isobel says when she comes back in the room. She looks highly uncomfortable.
"It's okay," I say. "It's been a rough morning but our problem has finally been dealt with."
"Well the quicker I get your blood pressure, the sooner you can get out of here and on to the rest of your day," she says. Tobias stands up with Tyler in his arms and moves away from me so I can get up. I very carefully get out of the chair and move to the steel examination table.
"Tris, are you okay? You're acting like something hurts."
"My back has been bothering me lately," I say. "I've modified my activities and don't normally carry the kids around because of the pain but this morning it couldn't be avoided, and before you lecture me, you really don't know what Four and I just had to endure." Tears flood my eyes while I talk but I will them away.
"No lecture, Tris. I know firsthand how unpredictable it is being a parent," she says, sympathy and understanding in her voice. "How long have you felt the pain?"
"I believe I first noticed it about three weeks ago. It was just after my last clinic appointment," I say as she examines my back, pressing all around, making me wince a few times. It's really tender today.
"I suggest that as soon as you leave here, you stop by the salon and get a massage. You have some very tight muscles in your lower back. A massage would loosen them up and alleviate some of your pain."
"Is that something I could help her with?" Tobias asks. "Give her a massage?"
"Have you given a massage before?" she asks.
"A couple times," he says.
"Yes, it's definitely something that can be done at home," she says. "The reason I suggested the salon is because they have a special table where she can lie flat on her front, which she might find more relaxing. Tris, you would need to find a position that is comfortable for you. Obviously, don't put any pressure on your belly. Lying on your side with pillows supporting your abdomen is a good one to try. The use of oils or lotions is also recommended. It just makes it easier to give the massage."
"Okay," he says.
"Alright. Let's get your blood pressure." She wraps the cuff around my upper arm and takes my pressure not once, not twice, but three times.
"Is there something wrong?" I ask, starting to worry. She stands with her hands on her hips with an odd look on her face for longer than I can stand. "Isobel! Tell me right now what's going on."
"Just how stressful was your morning?" she asks as she gets her phone out and messages someone.
"To be honest, it was hell," I say before recounting what happened in the cafeteria for her, leaving out what the bitch said about our kids. Tyler doesn't need to hear that garbage again. Just as I finish the story there's a knock on the door, and Zander walks into the room.
"Thank you for coming, Dr. Parrish," Isobel says.
"Of course," he says then turns toward me. "Hi, Tris. How are you feeling?"
"Irritated, annoyed, slightly pissed off, and concerned," I say. "What. Is. Going. On?"
"You really need to calm down, Tris," he says as he takes his stethoscope from around his neck and listens to my heart and lungs. "How are you feeling … physically?"
"My back hurts, and I'm a little tired," I say. "Other than that I feel fine."
"Have you had any episodes of dizziness or headaches in the past week?" Zander asks as he looks at my chart.
"No," I say. "Will you please tell me what's going on?" My imagination is starting to run away with me.
"Your blood pressure is dangerously high this morning," he says. My heart starts hammering painfully in my chest. What have I done? I let the bitch get to me, and now Peanut could be in danger.
"Four," I squeak. He sits Tyler in the chair, kisses his head, then comes to sit next to me on the examination table. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, and I hold onto him tightly.
"You're probably not going to like this but I've already heard about what happened in the cafeteria this morning," Zander says. He's right, I don't like that what transpired this morning has spread around the compound so quickly. "More than likely the stress from that situation is what's causing your elevated blood pressure. If you hadn't had that run-in this morning, I would immediately put you on modified bed rest but before I make my final decision, I want an updated urinalysis. We need to check your protein level. If it's elevated, too, I'll have no choice but to order bed rest. Try not to worry."
"That's easier said than done," I mutter under my breath. Tobias hears though and squeezes my hand.
I follow Isobel out into the hallway where she gives me a specimen cup. When I come out of the bathroom, she takes the little cup and tells me that I can go back to my room. I try not to think about anything other than calming thoughts in an effort to get my blood pressure down. Tobias even helps me with some deep breathing exercises. When Tessa wakes up from her nap, I get her out of her carrier and hold her while Tobias sits next to me with Tyler in his lap. Tessa's good mood is contagious and soon we're all laughing along with her.
"It's nice to hear laughter coming from this room," Zander says as he comes through the door.
"Tess silly," Tyler says.
"I can see that," he says. "I'd like to get another reading." He wraps the cuff around my left arm after I shift Tessa to my right and takes my blood pressure.
"It's come down since the last check, which is a great sign. Your urine protein is slightly elevated but it isn't any higher than it was at your last clinic visit so I'm going to let you go today. Come back in the morning, and we'll check your numbers again. If they are elevated, I'm ordering bed rest for you. It's imperative that you stay away from stress right now."
"Well my biggest form of stress is gone now," I say. "I was fine until last Monday."
"Yeah, I can see that in your chart," he says. "Do you want me to give you something for your back? It would be pregnancy safe and give you better long-lasting relief than the over-the-counter acetaminophen."
"As long as I can take it only when I need to," I say. He writes out a prescription and hands it to me.
"I want to see you back here first thing tomorrow morning," he says. "Don't let that wannabe homewrecker get you down, Tris. Anyone who matters knows how much you two love each other and your kids. I'll see you guys later. Bye, Tyler." He ruffles his hair before he turns to leave.
"Bye, Zan," he says.
"You guys are free to go," Isobel says. "Rest would be beneficial for you, Tris, but I'm not going to order it since Dr. Parrish didn't."
"What's your recommendation?" Tobias asks.
"Rest," she says. "And zero stress, which I know sounds impossible but it's for the sake of your baby."
"We'll drop the kids off at daycare then I'll rest until we have to go to the training room for the practice fights. Four already has me sit down so that shouldn't be too stressful."
"That sounds like a good compromise," she says. "I just want to see you deliver a healthy baby."
"That's all we want, too," Tobias says.
"If I don't see you tomorrow, I'll see you Saturday night. Carter and I are looking forward to it," she says. "Take care of yourself."
"Thanks for everything," I say then she leaves us alone. After picking up my prescription for some stronger pain meds from the pharmacy, we drop the kids off at daycare then silently walk home hand-in-hand, enjoying each other's company.
"I would like for you to rest," Tobias says when we walk into our apartment. "How about that massage?"
"That would be nice," I say. "My back does really hurt." I take one of the pills Zander prescribed with a big glass of water.
"I'm so sorry," he says, sounding like a lost little boy. When I turn to look at him, he has an expression to match. I'm at his side in a second, wrapping my arms around his waist. I nuzzle his chest until he encircles me with his arms.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Tobias Eaton," I whisper into his chest. "None of this is your fault."
"Why does it feel that way then?" he sighs. "She set her sights on me for some unknown reason. I think that's what's bothering me the most. We have no idea why she did what she did. I refuse to believe it was simply because she had a crush. She was trying to destroy us."
"She's not alone," I say.
"What do you mean?" he asks, confusion filling his face.
"She knows too much about you," I say. "She knows your name. She knows that Tyler and Tessa are adopted. For someone who just joined Dauntless and only hangs around with other transfers, she knows entirely too much."
"That thought crossed my mind too but I pushed it aside," he says. "She's from Candor. We don't have any enemies in Candor."
"That we know of," I scoff. "Have the transfers' files arrived yet? Maybe there is something in hers that would give us a clue."
"I'll look into it," he says with a sigh. "You're supposed to be resting not thinking about her."
"You're right," I say.
"Why don't you go up and get my lotion? It's on the dresser. I'll figure out where I'll be the most comfortable."
"Wouldn't that be in bed?" he asks.
"Even though you have a point, I think we should stay down here," I say. If we go upstairs I know what will happen. He nods then ascends the stairs in silence. He's still brooding about something, and I intend to figure out what it is.
I look around the living room, and my eyes settle on the island, and I get an idea. I take my tank top off, fold it, and set it on the end table to get ready for the massage. When I turn around Tobias is standing at the base of the stairs with several pillows in his hands, staring at me. I walk over to him and take the pillows from him and throw them on the floor in front of the couch. I take his hand and lead him to the kitchen where I sit on one of the backless barstools and lean forward and rest my head on my arms on the island. He gently starts rubbing the coconut oil lotion into my lower back, which feels heavenly, and I immediately begin to relax.
"This feels really good," I moan on the verge of sleep. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," he says up against my ear. He rubs my back for about 15 more minutes then he sighs.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"Nothing," he says. I sit up and twirl around on the barstool, facing him.
"Don't shut me out. If you do it will just cause more stress for me."
"I just feel bad that all this is happening," he says, running his hand through his hair. He's dwelling. "I should have put her in her place when she hit on me and maybe this wouldn't be happening."
"Like I've told you, this isn't your fault. I knew I was predisposed for preeclampsia so I should have been doing everything in my power to keep myself calm and stress free. But since she jumped into Dauntless I've been anything but. I've been jealous and irrational, stressed out and agitated. My self-esteem issues and pregnancy hormones are in overdrive, making me question everything. I've had doubts about you, me, us."
"Why would you question us?" he asks.
"When a younger, gorgeous guy starts plotting to take me away from you, you'll understand," I say a bit sarcastically then I frown and shake my head. "I'm sorry. I got scared." I whisper my declaration. He stares at me then slowly starts shaking his head.
"Gorgeous? Olivia? I don't think so," he says, looking at me like I'm crazy.
"It's okay if you thought she was pretty," I say. "I wouldn't get mad." He looks at me incredulously.
"I do not find Olivia attractive at all," he says. "As a matter of fact, my first impression was that she was white trash. Getting to know her only reinforced that belief."
"You can't tell me that I'm the only girl you think is beautiful," I say, rolling my eyes.
"Beautiful? You and our daughter," he says, perfectly seriously. When I start to object, he puts his finger over my mouth and shakes his head, silencing me. "I'm not saying I've never thought another girl was pretty before. Shauna, Ciara, Ella … they're all very pretty but they don't hold a candle to you." He takes a step forward and wraps his arms around me. "There is only one woman in the world for me." He presses a soft kiss to my temple. "You are the only one I will ever touch." He presses his lips against my forehead as he glides his fingers down my bare arms. "You are the only one I will ever kiss." He softly kisses each closed eyelid. "You are the only one I will ever make love to." He places butterfly kisses along my jawline up to my left ear. "You are the only one I will ever love." His lips brush against mine in a kiss that starts out tender then subtly changes. I wrap my arms around his neck, tangle my fingers in his hair, and pull him close as we let our tongues glide sensually along each other's.
"I love you, Tobias Eaton," I say against his mouth. "I know without a doubt that you will be the only man in my heart … ever. You own it. You own me." He runs his hands up my back and skillfully unlatches my bra then slowly slides it down my arms, baring my chest to him.
"Do you want to do this, love?" he asks as he kisses his way up my neck, his hands gently massaging my breasts. "I don't want you feeling like I'm trying to solve our problems with sex."
"Yes, I want to," I say, my voice breathy and need-filled. "Very much." I push him back, and stand up from the barstool. I drag his t-shirt up his body and over his head, never taking my eyes off of his. He pushes the barstool out of the way, picks me straight up, and sits me on the island. He wastes no time pulling my yoga pants and panties off in one fell swoop. He takes a step back and slides his jeans and boxer briefs down his magnificent body, leaving him gloriously naked. My eyes roam over his unmatched form and a deep-seated throbbing need materializes between my thighs. He stands back just out of my reach, never taking his eyes off mine. While we're staring at each other, his eyes dilate until they are totally black.
"Do you still want me, Tris?" I beckon him to me with my finger and boldly take his hand and put it on my womanhood so he can feel the dampness. I want him … badly. He slowly slips a finger inside me and watches my face closely as he gently slides it in and out while circling my nubbin with his thumb.
"Oh, God! That feels so good," I moan. "Please don't stop." He adds a second finger then resumes the pleasurable rhythm. I grab his face and shove my tongue into his mouth, kissing him hard while I move my hips to meet his probing fingers. "Ah." When I feel my release nearing, he thrusts harder and circles my nubbin faster. He knows my body so well. I gasp for air against his lips as I convulse around his thrusting digits. "Oh, shit! Tobias! Oh, God, baby!"
"Are you feeling better?" he asks with his cocky grin after I come down from my high, removing his fingers from my body. I'm still panting.
"Yes," I say. "I love you."
"I love you, too," he says, moving his mouth to kiss my neck.
"I think it's your turn," I say.
"No," he says against my ear. "I need to be inside you." He picks me up and carries me into the living room, kissing me passionately the entire way. He puts me down and slouches on the couch then pulls me onto his lap. I kiss him fervently, reach between us, grasp his manhood, and position him at my entrance. I ease myself down onto his hard flesh then start slowly moving myself up and down, going deeper with each thrust until he's fully seated in me then I stop.
"Oh, God!" I say as he slowly rotates his hips. I toss my head back and feel him stretching me, filling me so deep inside. "You feel so good." I rest my arms on his and lift myself with my knees then press down to meet every one of his upward thrusts. We move together as one, never missing a beat, staring deeply into each other's eyes. He glides his hands from my hips to my breasts and massages them gently.
"I love you," he roughly says as we increase our pace further. He moves his hands back to my hips and steadies our movement, thrusting up into me fiercely, overwhelming and muddling my senses. I close my eyes just as I'm seized by a rush of sensation so intense that I nearly pass out from it. He continues moving me up and down on his shaft then stiffens below me right before spilling himself into my depths. I collapse into his arms letting my wildly racing heart slow while I pant into his chest. I lift myself off of him and enjoy the feel of our naked bodies next to each other. A few tears escape down my cheek and on to his chest.
"Hey, don't cry," he says, kissing them away.
"I'm sorry," I say. "I love you, Tobias. No one has ever loved someone as much as I love you."
"That's how much I love you." I peek up at the clock and see that we have plenty of time before lunch. "Can we lie down? I love sitting this way but I don't want to hurt our Peanut."
"Of course." I get up off his lap and he lies down, and I lie facing him, our arms and legs a tangled mess.
"I'm glad we have a big couch," I giggle.
"Me too," he says. "How are you feeling?"
"Very relaxed, Mr. Eaton," I say.
"I'm glad to hear that, Mrs. Eaton."
"You know making love is so much more relaxing than a massage," I say as we laugh softly together. A knock on the door interrupts us and I freeze. Crap! We're lying in each other's arms in the middle of our living room, naked.
"Just be quite, they'll go away," he whispers against my ear but whoever it is doesn't.
"Four, Tris," Tori impatiently says through the door. "Open up. I know you're in there." How does she know that?
"Shit," he mutters. "Just a minute, Tori." We quickly scramble to throw our clothes on, and he opens the door. "What's so important?"
"Hello to you, too," she says as she walks into our apartment, a look of concern on her face. "We have a problem with Olivia."
"What about her?" I ask. "I thought she was escorted off the property." The look on her face tells me that's not true. My head starts throbbing painfully.
"That's what I need to talk to you two about," she says. "I can't kick her out because she has leveled some serious accusations against you, Four. She has to stay until the situation is resolved."
"You've got to be kidding me," he angrily says. "I didn't do anything." I feel my knees give out just before my world goes black.