The Disclaimers Office of Amaxing Fan Fiction Inc. is currently unavailable. In an official statement from the company, lead (and only) disclaimer writer, Skyler, had this to say:
"We don't know exactly which dimension the office has wound up in this time. Because AFFI now straddles multiple alternate universes and story worlds, it's often difficult to even predict what the building next door will look like from day to day. The only thing we really do know, without doubt, is that Amaxing…"
(Puts on sunglasses)
"Doesn't own Pokémon."
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!
Chapter 13: Gym Leader Vanna would like to battle!
Gallant
As a Gallade, you get a good number of questions. Most of these are, in short, why is your species only male if there are both male and female Gardevoir?
A good question. A simpler mind would shrug and say 'because that's how we were made'. I, personally, subscribe to the theory that Gallade and Gardevoir were, at one time, two halves of the same species, but a population of Gardevoir became separated from any Gallade presence, and had modify their gender in order to survive… much like clownfish. This, to my mind, is the only logical reason for the awkward 'three-halves' population situation that we have today.
Nevertheless, as members of an all male species that can only reproduce by wooing a female from another species that has males to choose from, Gallades, in general, study from the moment of evolution to be utmost, perfect gentlemen. Well, at least, I did. In order to win the affections of a member of a race as exquisite as the Gardevoirs, nothing less than perfection can be accepted.
Which is why I train so diligently under Miss Vanna, and gladly obey any command she gives. I have accepted her as the human being who can bring out my potential more than any other, and I utterly refuse to let her down. So when Vanna came from the kitchen, smiled at me, and told me we were heading to the gym, I couldn't help but smile back. If the trainer Axel did indeed show up today, this would be a very satisfying day indeed, seeing as I would finally put that insolent, unapologetic Meditite in its place.
I almost had at him the moment I saw him leaning against the side of the gym, waiting, but I restrained myself. Miss Vanna, ever observant, quickly asked where all the other trainers were, to which the cur so cheekily replied:
"We figured we'd take them out first. Didn't want to tire Axel down at all before the main attraction."
"Squirt!" The Squirtle squirted in affirmation. I saw red. Challenging trainers without direction? What was this?
But Miss Vanna laughed, so I suppose I'll let it slide this time. When the trainer did finally show up, the girl and her Pokémon in tow, Miss Vanna greeted them with all the pleasantries a proper host should. She explained the house rules: three one-v-one battles with different Pokémon each time. She also requested, to my delight, that she be allowed to use her strongest party members, rather than the preset level and type requirements the Pokémon League set down. Axel agreed immediately, to Vanna's delight, and she made sure that the Gym's referee hadn't been scared off. He hadn't been, and so, blowing his whistle, he declared the match should begin.
The cur's hand shot up into the air. "Ooh! Axel! Pick me! Pick me!" he yelled playfully. "You always said I'd get first shot when we finally started collecting badges, remember?"
"Yes…" Axel said hesitantly. "But I also never expected that we'd be collecting them so early…"
"Ah, c'mon! Pleeeeeeease?"
To directly request that you do something against the wishes of your trainer? Preposterous! And what was even more preposterous was, almost at once, Axel caved, and sent Medici in as the first combatant.
I looked at Vanna, and she nodded. Enthusiastically, I jumped into the center ring, a slightly sunken circular pit filled with sand, and made an about face, bowing graciously at the beautiful Gardevoir, who turned bright red as usual."
"She… uh, she doesn't like it when you do that," the Meditite said, almost as if he were advising me. "Believe me… I know. Well, kind of."
"Excuse me, but Lady Gardevoir and I have been working together for years now," I said indignantly.
"And… well…" he scratched the back of his head. "Look how far you've gotten, right?"
"Can we not do this now?" Axel asked. "I'd like to have this done before dinner."
"Fine by me," I grunted, lunging forward with Agility. The battle had, after all, technically begun.
The Meditite clearly wasn't expecting me, but dodged enough to avoid the full force of my Slash. It still flung him into the air, and I quickly released volley after volley of Psycho Cuts, each one connecting with a satisfying slicing sound. Still in a Rage, I leapt up, venting my Frustration into a final blow that smashed the Meditite into the wall of the pit.
"That'll teach you to stay away," I said triumphantly.
"Why is that again?" The Meditite said, flipping back onto its feet as if it had just woken up from a nap. "Also, dude… un-cool. You don't just attack someone in the middle of…"
He still insists on pandering to me? I charged again, aiming directly for his chest with my elbow blades. But somehow, even though I was sure I'd Feinted correctly, he dodged under them. I felt a hand grab me by the back of the neck, and the next minute I was hurled with great strength into the opposite wall.
"Don't think I'll fall for the same thing twice," the cur spat. "I've been training with a swordsman for almost a year now. I know all y'all tricks. Side note: for a species that's supposed to be courteous, you're being incredibly rude right now. Just saying, you could let me finish a sentence or two. That'd be nice."
I saw red. I Leered at the Meditite, and began emitting psychic waves in hopes to confuse it. It countered with its own, the sheer force of which almost threw me off balance, but I remained focused. Charging my blades with as much psychic potential as I could, I began circling, Double Teaming until there appeared to be almost twenty of me circling around the sand. Axel, smarter than I thought, yelled at Medici to watch the lines in the sand, but the Pokémon either didn't hear him or didn't listen. I converged on him, and he swung out at ten of me at once… none of which were the correct one. I smashed into the Meditite directly from behind, letting my fury drive slice after slice as I tore into it. After I'd exhausted myself, I switched my arm around, delivering the ultimate insult of a punch, directly into its smarmy face. It fell to the ground, motionless, and I let out a victorious battle cry.
The referee, after surveying the situation, nodded. "The winner is…"
"Hey! Don't call it yet!" I flinched, but looked down with relief. The Meditite's mouth may have been moving, but it was still motionless otherwise.
"You… you're clearly unable to continue," the referee explained.
"I believe Rest is a League recognized move, right? I'm still in this thing!"
"If you're sleeping, than how are you…"
"Sleep Talk is also a League recognized move, I believe."
The ref scratched his head for a minute, and shrugged. "I… I guess he does have a point, actually. My mistake."
Fine. I'll continue. There's nothing in the rules that say I can't pummel you while you sleep… in fact, I believe it's encouraged. With another cry I leapt into the air, charging my blades as I dove down to crush the Meditite.
Its eyes flew open, glowed blue for the briefest of seconds. I continued my attack, but it rolled out of the way, leaving my elbows stuck in the sand.
"You've made way too many mistakes to win this fight now," he said bitterly. I was about to ask what mistakes he meant, but I felt a foot dig itself into my stomach, and I lost all ability to talk.
"ONE!" he yelled, blasting me with psychic energy until I ricocheted from a wall. "You attacked me while I was talking. TWO!" The foot dug itself into my stomach again and I found myself hurtling through the air. "You attacked me while I was sleeping, and THREE! and most importantly…" Several more kicks, a fist or two, charged with electrical power. "You did nothing but try and get in the way of me talking to that cute Gardevoir last night!" He said this in Pokémon speak, but I think everyone still understood what he meant.
I felt another hit, more powerful than the others, and I found myself almost forty feet off the ground, nearly touching the Gym's ceiling. Before I knew it, the Meditite was there, almost suspended in mid air above me. It winked, said 'sorry', and brought it's foot crashing down on me one last time.
The only thing I remember thinking before I passed out after hitting the ground was how much of a bother fixing the crater I made would be fore the maintenance staff. Pity really.
Inigo
"Gallade is unable to battle. The victory goes to Meditite!"
As Medici hauled himself out of the pit, bruised but victorious, I could not help but smile. I was glad that he had won, yes, but I would be lying if I said that I did not enjoy seeing him tossed around a bit before doing so. Perhaps he will take training more serious from here on out. But probably not.
Being the victor, Axel chose which Pokémon to send out next first, and, with a nod, he sent me in. I was a bit disappointed at not being sent in to face the Gallade (whose skill with a blade, as surely you noticed, was quite prodigious), but I nonetheless complied. I am not exactly in a position to question any decisions Axel makes.
Vanna, after a moment's though, smiled slightly and, with a wave, sent out… Gardevoir. The Pokémon walked slowly to the edge, pausing a little to figure out the best way down, before slowly lowering herself into the pit. She let go a little too soon, and she fell about a foot… unhurt, but cute… I mean embarrassed.
As the referee blew the whistle to signal the start of round two, I could not help but think… should I even fight this girl? Axel, unflinching, instructed me to charge, so, with only a little hesitation, I did, blades positioned to deliver a cross cut upon impact.
Using a Light Screen as a diversion, the Gardevoir dodged gracefully out of the way and ran towards the other side of the ring, dress trailing behind it like a fluttering sheet on a breezy summer's day… wait, what? Why I am thinking this? Just because the image of me training out in the fields, while Gardevoir brings me a cool glass of Lemonade and touches my arm gently, knowingly, is the closest thing to paradise I have ever envisioned, does not mean that… does not mean that… oh… so lovely…
"HEY!" I heard Medici scream in my mind, shattering the illusion. "Are you just going to stand there or are you going to go get her?"
Go get her? What a wonderful idea! Yes, that is just what I will do, I…
"NOT LIKE THAT!" I heard Medici scream again. "You're in the middle of a gym battle, remember? A GYM BATTLE! If you lose, we might ALL lose, and then we won't get the badge! You wouldn't want to let Axel down, would you?"
That snapped me back to reality. I heard Axel yell not to let her get into my head, and I cursed myself for falling prey so easily. That being said, it is not like she took advantage of me in my state. In fact, from the looks of it, all she has done this battle is put up various Barriers and Reflect shields. I still feel that, somewhere in my code, there is a rule against this.
Nevertheless, a battle is battle. And no matter how gorgeous the opponent might be, you have to take her out, right? You have to make her see who is the strongest, yes? Yes! That is what I will do. But… if that were to scare her away…
AARGH! What is this? I cannot allow myself to be held back anymore, Axel needs me! I performed a quick Swords Dance, partially to increase my striking potency and partially to impress her, and charged once more. This time, for sure, I will strike!
She gasped, moving to the side as her Barrier took almost the full brunt of my assault. She backed up against the side of the ring, quivering slightly, still trying to keep a brave face regardless of how… why is she terrified of me? What am I doing?
NO! This is a battle. This is a battle. This is a battle. Repeating the mantra over and over, I lined up with my foe one last time, knowing for sure that I would not miss. With a cry, I charged, bracing myself for impact.
She tried to move back, but tripped. Staring at me with wide, beautiful eyes, she flinched back, raising her arms in a last effort at defense, leaving nothing but a stationary target to cut through, a helpless… a poor, helpless…
I… I cannot do this!
I stopped, blades hovering inches away from her outstretched arms. I stood there, breathing heavily, trying to think straight and trying to decide what was right until I could not think anymore. I collapsed into the sand, shaking, but smiling at the same time. As long as she had not been hurt, that was what mattered, right? Right. Nothing else actually mattered, nothing was more important…
How could I possibly touch her? I am too afraid that she would break.
"Treecko is unwilling to battle. The winner is Gardevoir!"
I did not care. It was funny, but somehow… everything seemed at peace. As long as she was here, nothing else mattered. I could rest easy…
Then she gave a slight curtsy, returned to her trainer, and almost instantly my romantic delusions broke. I vaulted from the ground instantly, surveying my surroundings as if they were completely foreign. Gardevoir, who I found as unattractive as I had before the battle had begun, was climbing out of the rink with help from Vanna. A few people from Woodale who had gathered to see the battle were cheering, congratulating Gardevoir on another job well done. Ashamed, frightened of what I would see, I looked towards Axel, but saw that while he was, indeed, face palming, he was smiling all the same.
"Don't think too much on it, Inigo," he said reassuringly. "It's just a kind of attack your training doesn't cover." I sighed, relieved. At least I had the sage advice of my trainer to help me overcome my weaknesses.
Medici was, as you can imagine, quite a bit less sage.
"Learn to steel your mind you must, young Padawan," he croaked.
Shut up.
Shelligan
Why hello there! Fancy having to narrate yet again.
I don't know about you, but I've certainly enjoyed the show so far. I'm quite a big fan of how the events of last night which, of course, we know nothing about, made themselves known ever-so-slightly in the confrontation between Gallant and Medici. Though the striking moment when a warrior realizes his physical training has still left him weak in areas of the heart was also quite fun to watch, if not a bit clichéd.
And so it comes down to the wire! Winner take all! And to think that, in such a situation, neither of the teams 'powerhouses' are eligible for competition. Oh no! What do we do?
I kid, of course. The only reason Qwill and I aren't considered 'powerhouses' is because our combat styles are more strategy oriented. And since Axel lost the last match, Vanna chooses her Pokémon first, meaning we'll go out entirely dependant on what she chooses.
With a flourish, Vanna sent out… Xatu! The very same powerful, full bodied specimen that only yesterday was out and about saving a man's life! It's a flying type Pokémon, so undoubtedly that means I'll be sent out to deal with it. And… yes. Axel's just given me the go-ahead. Sorry, Qwill, perhaps next time!
I somersaulted into the ring, egged on by the crowd that, by this time, had grown to fill almost the entire Gym. I flipped, threw sand in the air in a flourish, ricocheted off the sides of the ring: anything to work the crowd into a roar. I work best in front of an enthusiastic audience.
The Xatu flew in, standing motionless, waiting for the referee to blow his whistle. I bowed to my opponent grandiosely, introducing myself. "Greetings! I am the Magnificent Shelligan! If it does not bother you, while we battle, I would like to tell you a story!"
"You can do whatever you want," the Xatu replied, voice already laced with hints of the Attract she was no doubt about to use. I gulped. Mind games, regardless of how much practice one has with them, are always draining.
The referee blew his whistle, and we both immediately took off, the Xatu to flying and me to my spinning. As I dodge out of the way of a Psychic blast, I began to relate my tale.
"The tale I would like to tell you is one of tragedy turned to strength! Of disability, turned to skill! You see, when I was still quite young, a mere one year old, my trainer was killed… by Death himself."
"That's so sad," winking at me with a Miracle Eye and using Attract at the same time. "Please, tell me more."
I gulped again, feeling a little heated, but my storyteller's prerogative allowed me to continue. "After being found by my current trainer Axel, a situation arose where he called upon my skills to help put out a fire!" I paused for dramatic event, and was rudely struck by the bird's talons. The touch, also laced with a heavy dosage of Attract, sent shivers down my spine. "But alas…" I said, spiraling out of the way once again, "he was to be disappointed because I, the Magnificent Shelligan…" I struck an agonizing pose, evoking laughs from the audience who couldn't understand me. "was born Squirtless!" I paused, waiting for sobs that I knew wouldn't come. "Yes, no matter how hard I tried the only thing I could ever do was blow cold air. The fire was put out, yes… but not by anything I did."
"That's awful, really," the Xatu cooed, pecking at me with its beak and grazing my shell several times, "but shouldn't you be focusing on fighting right now?"
"A good storyteller never leaves his audience hanging," I replied. "After finding this out, Axel shut himself away for several days, and for those long hours, I thought that maybe he didn't want me anymore. Perhaps he was calling up Pokémon pounds, seeing who would take the best, or sometimes I feared worst, care of me. Maybe he was looking for a good place to… dare I say… release me into the wild!" Her I paused, but only to escape the broadside of a Feint Attack that almost tricked me.
"My waiting was to be rewarded, however, for after several days he emerged, with the largest smile I'd ever seen on any human being up to that point. He said: "I have come up with a super-powerful technique that only you, of all Squirtles that have ever existed, will be able to use. Interested?"
OF COURSE I WAS!"
I shouted this last bit not because I meant to emphasize it, but because the agile bird had finally caught me with one claw. With a deep breath, it loose an enormous wave of Dark energy, causing me to plummet into the sand below, and almost shattering my consciousness.
"So then…" the Xatu taunted, not even bothering to add Attract to her voice anymore. "What was this super-powerful technique of yours then?"
I struggled to my feet, tossing sand out of my way to get my breaings.. "My trainer, Axel…" I gasped out, "explained it better than I ever could:"
"When you attempt to breath water and fail," Axel began, "you produce air that's cooler than the air around you. I'm not sure why, it must be something to with how your water-producing glands work, but it happens!
Also, when you spin in your shell, you heat up the air inside, and it escapes to the outside naturally! On cold days I can sometimes see a heat-trail when you practice your act, it looks so cool!
But anyway, if you were to alternate between breathing cool air and releasing warm air, the warm air would rise and the cool air would condense it, creating a cloud… and not just a magical Drizzle effect, a real life cloud! Combine that with some particulate matter that I'm sure a showman like you can get into the air without raising suspicion, and what do you get?
"Lightning," I whispered, and with a grandiose gesture, I pointed to the heavens. The Xatu looked first, then Vanna, then the rest of the people in the gym. They gasped almost in unison, wondering how a cloud had formed while they were obliviously watching a grandstanding Squirtle. I laughed, ricocheting off the side of the rink and darting into the cloud. I recalled Axel's instructions:
"All that's left is to let the stored electric potential loose on command. But you're smart. I'm sure you'll figure something out!" he smiled.
"It's curtains for you!" I yelled, spinning rapidly, collecting charge as I did so. The Xatu tried flying away, but it was already in my sights. Time for the big, anime-style ultimate-finishing move battle cry!
"GRAND FINALE! SHELLIGAN-STYYYYYLE THUUUUNDEEEER!"
And I dove from the cloud, striking the Xatu square in the chest, bringing thousands of volts of electricity along with me. There was a collective cry of astonishment as the bird was left floating in midair, body coursing with electricity. Finally, after the bolt had expended itself, the Xatu collapsed and fell to the ground, landing in a heap.
Nimbly, I landed unharmed directly next to its head, in time to here her mutter: "you… pompous… jerk…" before passing out. Silence. Then, almost on cue, uproarious applause. I smiled widely, bowing to my loving crowd. It was almost impossible to hear when the referee shouted: "Xatu is unable to battle! The victory goes to Squirtle!"
I could hear Axel roaring in victory, could just make out Amber cheering from behind. Vanna, smiling, said something along the lines of: "as I expected." I don't remember when the badge actually changed hands, but the image of Axel triumphantly holding it over his head, basking in glory for the briefest of moments, will forever be burned in my memory. This, I remember thinking, was the beginning of our story.
Author's Note:
Was it awesome? Was it? Was it? Was it?
You'll notice I've decided to completely ignore the 'four moves per Pokémon' rule and describe the battles more similar to Anime style. You'll also notice that these Pokémon don't seem to really care if they ever actually learn the moves they're using or not.
Part of this is plot-related. Part is me being lazy. That being said, I like to think I don't take too many liberties when it comes to battles. That being said let me know what you thought! I'm trying sort of halfway decently hard to incorporate the battle element into the overall story pretty naturally… and realize that'll take practice.
Other than that…
Viva la feminism?