Drabble #8 - "It's always been you."

Pairing: Stiles/Lydia

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary: Stiles and Lydia spend their last night together before they part ways for college.

Tags: Established relationship, Break up, Hurt

Author's note: This work is a chapter for an upcoming fic, which will be revealed in due time.

Dedication: To Rachel, rachel-me on tumblr.

xxxxxxxxxx

"It's always been you," he murmurs, his thumb brushing her arm softly and tugging her slightly closer to him. "Like, right from the very beginning, it's always been you. I can't really tell why but ever since we argued by the swings on third grade, I just… I just knew." He cups her cheek with his free hand. "Do you remember that?"

Lydia chuckles sadly, looking up at him. "Yes. You wanted to go again and I-"

"Started reciting every rule there was for recess," he finishes for her. "I was so surprised that you knew all of them that before I knew it, you were already on my swing. All I could do was watch you in amazement."

"You were such a hyperactive little brat, always getting into trouble with Scott," she smiles, revisiting the memories.

"Like you were any better," he mocks. "You just knew how to talk your way out of it. My smart little banshee," he says fondly.

It breaks her heart that they're in this position. This was a conversation they were never supposed to have, not under these circumstances anyway. She leans in and kisses him, taking her time because she knows she won't get the chance to do it often anymore.

He delves into it too.

"Stiles-" she whispers, already knowing the answer.

"No. We have everything set. We're doing this, Lyds," he says calmly, trying not to let his emotions show on his features.

"But-"

Stiles slowly places a strawberry blonde curl behind her ear. God, he's gonna miss her so much. "No. We've talked about this. Th- There's no going back now," he stutters, holding back a sob.

Her lower lip trembles and her breath hitches. "Can I… Stiles, I- I have to cry. I can't… I know we promised but I…" A tear falls down her cheek and Stiles doesn't wipe it away. He knows she needs this.

He does too. "It's okay," he complies, giving her a sad smile of his own.

They're cuddled up on his bed after a whole day of just staying together, the imminence of their separation dawning on them in a damaging, breathtaking way. It's their last night together after all.

He's not sure how long she cries against his chest but he lets her, shedding a few tears as well. "Stiles-" she pleads, throat raw and aching with sorrow for what is yet to come. For what is to become of her and him, but not them. "Stiles, please. Please reconsider."

He kisses her this time, intently and passionately the same way he's been kissing her for the six months they've been together, deepening the kiss as soon as Lydia moves to straddle him, her hands cupping his jaw and pulling him closer. He tastes the tears on her lips mixed with their regrets and all their sorrows, the time they won't get to have in the future weighing him down.

He can't let her win.

He breaks the kiss. "No. Lydia, I can't. You're doing this. You're leaving and you're going to get your degree and win a Fields Medal and be successful beyond comparison, okay? And in the meantime I'll stay here, feeling so fucking proud of you that it'll be like I've never left you, alright? It'll be like I'm right beside you, I promise."

He kisses the tip of her nose and her lips again, quickly. Lydia sobs. "What if I don't want that?" she argues.

They've discussed this before but in the last few weeks it has been harder for Stiles to convince her. He's not backing down, though. "You want that, Lydia. You've wanted it for years. I'm not letting you waste your dreams because of-"

"You?" she snaps. She's angry and hurt but he doesn't mind her outburst. It's her way of dealing with this. "Why won't you see that you are enough for me, Stiles? I love you so much and you just… You want me gone and I- I don't know…"

"Hey." He takes her hands in his and speaks softly, looking right into her eyes. "I love you, Lydia Martin. I have always loved you. I loved you when I was too young to know what it meant. I loved you when I thought it was nothing but a crush. I loved you every minute we've spent getting to know each other in the last few years. I loved you more since we started dating. I love you now. I'll love you always. And you don't get to think any less, Lydia. We're doing this for you."

"Don't you think I know that?" she whines, wiping away her tears. "It doesn't make it hurt any less, Stiles. I- I can stay."

"You won't."

"I could."

"I wouldn't let you," he quips quickly.

"Stiles-"

"Lydia, it's our last night together. Do you really want to spend it arguing?" She shakes her head slowly after a moment of silence. "This is happening. You're spending the night and in the morning, you'll be gone. And I'll hear from you when you're arriving at the East Coast and you're gonna tell me how different everything is there. You're gonna go to college there and I'm gonna go to college here. We're gonna talk every day and maybe, with time, it won't hurt as much. Who knows? Maybe we'll find each other in a random parking lot five or six years from now."

Lydia leans forward to rest her forehead against his. "What if we don't?" She can't even bear that thought.

"We'll figure something out. You'll see."

He tries to give her a hopeful smile.

He fails miserably.

She closes her eyes and wraps her arms around his shoulders. "We won't see each other for years."

It's part of their agreement. Lydia leaves to get the future she's always wanted, Stiles lets her and will do everything in his power not to let her come back to him until she has a Fields Medal in her hands. He hugs her tightly. "It's for the best."

"What if I want to be selfish? What if I want to stay for you? For us?"

Her voice breaks a little at the end. So does his heart. "You won't."

"Why?"

"Because I want you to be happy."

Lydia distances herself from him enough to look him in the eyes. "What about your happiness?"

"Whatever makes you happy makes me happy, Lydia. You've known that for a while."

She has. "What if I want to stay and make you happy and be happy because of it?"

"I'm not changing my mind, Lydia."

"What if I'm weak?"

"You're one of the strongest women I've ever met. You're gonna nail college, you're gonna get your Fields Medal and I'm gonna be there to tell you I told you so. This is gonna work, Lydia."

"What if we never find each other again?"

"If we're fated, we will."

Lydia purses her lips and searches his eyes. "Do you really believe that?"

He nods and offers her a genuine smile this time. "I do. And I believe in you."

She kisses him again because she knows there's no way around it. She's known it for a while. She just has to learn to accept it. "I love you. So, so much."

"I know. And I love you." They stay silent for a moment just looking at each other. "You know I just want what's best for you, right?"

"I know," Lydia nods, placing another chaste kiss on his lips. "Thank you."

"You can thank me when you show me your medal, alright?"

She will. "I will," she promises. A few more moments pass them by without words, hearts beating fast and throbbing more painfully with every minute as the morning seems to come faster and faster. "What now?"

He kisses her forehead. "Now we make the most of tonight."

"And in the morning I'll be gone."

"And in the morning you'll be gone."

The words hurt her more than any action ever could, but she trusts him, she trusts his judgment.

This will work.

It has to.

She lies beside him again and relaxes too, Stiles pulling her to him because he knows he might never get the chance again. "You fascinate me, Lydia Martin, always have. I hope that will never cease," he murmurs encouragingly, holding her close.

"You know what's funny?" In a very sadistic, twisting way, she means. "It feels like it's always been you too." And it has.

He was there for her even before she knew him, he was there whenever she gave him the chance to walk behind her, then beside her, he was there even when she didn't know she needed him.

When Deaton said they were emotional tethers, she embraced it immediately. There weren't questions about what the hell it meant or if the man had lost his mind because Lydia knew, deep down, that Stiles was already hers in a way that he's known she was his for years, even if he didn't quite know how to define it.

The sense of rightness that is Stiles has always been there, she just didn't know. And it got bigger with every passing year, from the time they went to the Winter Formal to when he saw her crying in her car. From when he scored a goal because she was on the stands to when he looked at her stunned because Lydia had kissed him. It got bigger with every effort he's ever done regarding herself, with every time he put is life on the line for hers. Stiles is a part of her, has always been.

She knows that now, and he knows that too.

"I know" are the only words he replies with because he's known it for a while. Lydia is not really surprised by the admission.

He's Stiles and she's Lydia and they've been dating for six months.

He's Stiles and she's Lydia and he's letting her go for the bright future that lies ahead of her.

He's Stiles and he's in love with her the same way that she's Lydia and she's in love with him.

And for the moment being, nothing else matters.

Their last hours slip through their fingers frustratingly fast.

They defy it.

They defy time.

For the last time until they see each other again years from now, it's the slowest they've ever made love.

xxx

A/N: Feel free to leave me a review to let me know what you thought of the story.

Until next time xx
Susana