Christian's POV
"How much longer?" I bark at Barlow. I am so fucking exhausted and agitated. We've been on the Grey jet for hours now and we've been circling Seattle for the past forty five minutes waiting for clearance to land. I just want to be on the ground and back home with my family. I hate being away from them. I had to go to Taiwan for a few days to deal with the fall out of one of the projects I've been working on for two years now. Two fucking years and I have nothing to show for it except for employees that have lost their jobs. I hate having to let people go, but I couldn't keep them on staff. This was a huge project and their incompetence and lack of commitment had caused the project to go south.
Barlow looks at me like one would look at an animal that needs to be caged. He's certainly no Taylor, but it was more important for me to have Taylor stay behind in Seattle to protect my family. He's learned over the years not to take my shit, but Barlow hasn't been around as long as Taylor. He has a lot of experience but hasn't had to deal with my tantrums and job termination threats. I've only recently started having Barlow take on some of Taylor's responsibilities so that he can become acquainted with them for when Taylor needs some time off and for when the babies are here.
When we finally land I follow Barlow to the waiting Audi SUV. Taylor has come to collect us. He climbs out of the car and helps us load the bags into the back. "Taylor"
"Sir"
"How's my family?"
"They've missed you, Sir. They are eager to see you."
"As am I. Take us home, Taylor."
I have to fight to keep my eyes open during the car ride home. It's only six o'clock. I need to stay awake so that I can spend some time with my family before we go to bed. I have Taylor stop for a coffee but it does little to counteract my exhaustion.
When we arrive home, I climb out of the car and breathe in the Seattle fall air. It feels good to be home. I walk into the house and into the kitchen to find my wife and baby girl having dinner. No Phoebe.
"Hey Baby" I greet Ana as she stands and wraps her arms around me. I kiss her cheek and hold her to me for a few seconds. I've only been away for a few days but I've missed her so much. I've missed her touch, her smell, the feel of her body pressed against mine, her pregnancy belly. I leave go of her and place my hands where our babies are growing inside of her. "How are the babies doing?"
"They are hungry. We didn't know when you would be home so we started on dinner. I'm sorry we couldn't wait."
"That's okay. I want you to eat. Is there enough for me?"
"Of course. Gail was keeping it hot. I'll get it for you."
"No, let me. You sit and eat."
I make my way around the breakfast bar and greet my baby girl. "Hi Sweet Pea." I lean over her from behind and kiss her cheek as she eats.
"Hi Daddy."
"Were you a good girl for Mommy?" She doesn't answer me, which means she probably wasn't. I clear my throat and look up at Ana. The look on her face gives me confirmation. "What happened?"
"We can talk about it later" Ana says gently.
"No, we're going to talk about it now." I realize that my voice has grown harsh as I round the table and sit on the barstool next to Ana so that we are facing Natalie. She is frowning and picking at her food. I have to remember that she is only two years old and scaring her with my temper is not the best approach to correcting any bad behavior she may have displayed while I was away.
Ana puts her fork down and takes my hand in hers. "Relax. I had a talk with her about it and I told her that we would talk about it again with you."
"Tell me what happened" I say as gently as I can with anger and frustration coursing through my veins.
"Okay. I was going to wait until later, but here it goes. Natalie figured out how to open the door, and today she went outside on her own." I gasp as fear takes over. The thought of Natalie being outside on her own. No adults and no security. Speaking of security, how would my daughter be able to go outside without my security team taking notice?
"How long was she outside?"
"I don't know" Ana says nervously. I can tell she is feeling the same fear that I am. Our property is safe but anything could have happened to her. "We were taking a nap together in the main room. Taylor and Gail were out for a walk. When I woke up she wasn't there and I couldn't find her." I look over at Natalie and she is still frowning. She knows she's in trouble. "Collins came back from his lunch break and he helped me find her."
I can't get the fear out of my head that my baby girl could have been hurt. She could have fallen down the steps. She could have climbed into the fountain. She could have been hit by a car driven by security or the riding lawn mower. She's so little and they wouldn't have been able to see her. I need to make sure this never happens again. I climb off the barstool and ignore Ana's protests. I'm not waiting until later to address this. This needs to be done now. Natalie squirms and squeezes her arms to her body to prevent me from lifting her. I wrap my fingers around the outside of her arms just below her shoulders and lift her that way. She struggles and cries as I carry her into the main room. Ana follows and sits next to me on the sofa as I have Natalie stand in front of me between my legs. I don't want her to be scared so I do my best to calm her while keeping her stood in front of me.
"Natalie" I say gently but sternly. I keep one hand around her wrist and use the other to stroke her hair and her cheek. "I need you to calm down and stop crying so we can talk." She can't stop crying, so I pull her into my lap and hold her for a while. She cries for a good five minutes before her cries turn to whimpers. I'm not sure if she's crying because she knows what she did was wrong, or because she's afraid of what I'll do as a result. Regardless, I feel terrible. But I need to put that aside and take care of her and make sure she understands what she's done.
Once she stops crying I lift her and place her on the sofa next to Ana. I walk away for a few seconds and return with her juice. She takes it with both hands and drinks a good amount of it. She looks up at me a few times as she drinks. Once she's finished she hands it back to me. I take my seat on the sofa again and have her stand in front of me. Ana scoots closer so her leg is touching mine. I'm glad since her touch often has a calming effect on me. I need that right now.
"Natalie, we need to talk about what happened today. Did you go outside?"
"Yes" he says softly while she nods.
"Did you go outside by yourself?"
"Yes" she answers again. "I'm sowwy Daddy"
"Yes, I know. Are you allowed to go outside by yourself?"
"No" she shakes her head.
"Then why did you?"
"Mommy was sweeping and I wanted to wide my twike."
I sigh. This is hard. It doesn't help that I am exhausted and hungry. "I'm glad you didn't wake Mommy while she was sleeping. But I'm not happy that you went outside by yourself. You could have gotten hurt and nobody would have been there to help you."
"I not get hut, Daddy."
"I know you didn't, but you could have. You cannot go outside by yourself. If you want to go outside, you need to ask me, or Mommy, or Mr Collins or Mrs Taylor. Understand?"
"Yes" she says as she nods.
"Good. Now we need to talk about what will happen if you do it again." I lift her dress and remove her diaper. Thankfully it's dry. I leave her dress on and have her lean over my lap. I know this makes Ana nervous but I can't worry about that right now. I don't plan on spanking her long. I just want her to understand this punishment since I've only ever really swatted her with one or two slaps.
"Christian, is this necessary?" she asks me softly. I just give her a look that tells her not to undermine me. I look down at my daughter and slap her bottom five times over her dress. She whimpers but she doesn't cry. I have her stand again so that I can talk to her.
"I don't want you to go outside by yourself again. If you do, that's what Daddy will need to do to punish you. Okay, Natalie?" She nods and leans in to cuddle to me. I stand and lift her into my arms and hug her tight. "Daddy doesn't want you to get hurt, Sweet Pea" I say softly. Ana stands and rubs her hand up and down my back but she doesn't say anything. I lean down and kiss her forehead, taking the wrapped up diaper out of her hands. I immediately start to feel relief and start to relax. "Where's Phoebe?"
"She's having dinner with Trevor. He's not going to be able to make it to the competition tomorrow."
"That's too bad. Is Phoebe upset?"
Ana nods. "Yeah, she wanted him to be there. But he has a soccer tournament. She doesn't want him to miss that."
"Of course not." I kiss her forehead again. "I'm going to give her a bath. Then we can finish dinner and watch a movie." I carry Natalie out of the room and can feel Ana's eyes on me. I stop and turn my head toward her. "See something you like?"
She blushes and I can't help the smile that crosses my face. She's told me a million times that she likes to watch me with our kids. I rub my hand up and down Natalie's back before I turn and walk toward the foyer.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Ana's POV
I was so scared when I woke from a nap and couldn't find my baby girl. I was so relieved when Collins found her and brought her to me. I squeezed her in a tight hug and then scolded her about going outside on her own. My pregnancy hormones definitely fueled my anger and fear, that and missing Christian. I don't think I've ever scolded any of the kids that way when they were this little. Natalie just stared at me wide eyed as I went on about how scared I was and how dangerous it was for her to go outside by herself. Lucky for me, Gail had returned from her walk with Taylor and was able to calm me down. She made me a tea and sat with me and Natalie as we talked more calmly about what she did. I regret losing my cool like that and I'm going to have to talk to Christian about it. I was hoping to do that before he punished her but I didn't get a chance to.
Now that I think about it, I'm sure the outcome wouldn't have been any different. Spanking has always been the punishment in this house for any dangerous behavior. I'm just glad he went easy on her. She's only two. I start to heat up our dinner when sharp pains catch me by surprise. I scream in pain and lean forward as I grab by pregnancy belly with one hand and grip the counter with the other. The pain lasts for about ten seconds and then subsides, but it was sharp enough to scare me. I stay leaned over as I carefully carry myself into the main room and over to the sofa. Gail comes in and knows right away that something is wrong.
"Ana, are you alright?"
"I'm fine, Gail. I just need to sit down." I try to downplay my pain since it's most likely nothing. I don't want Fifty to panic over this. "I was trying to heat up our dinner. Do you think you can…"
"Say no more, I'm on it."
"Thank you, Gail." I lean forward again as the pain returns, but it's not as sharp as it was when I was standing. I say a silent prayer for everything to be okay. I'm only seven months along. It is too early for these babies to make an appearance. When the pain subsides again I rub my belly and softly sing to my babies, hoping that will calm whatever is causing this pain. That is how Christian finds me. He walks into the room with Natalie in his arms and he is making her giggle. I make eye contact with him and he knows instantly that something is wrong.
"Gail!" He calls out. Gail rushes into the main room and over to me.
"What can I do?" she asks.
He puts Natalie down. "Could you take Natalie into the kitchen and have her finish her dinner? Go with Mrs Taylor, Sweet Pea." He kisses her wet hair and pats her bottom before sending her off with Gail. He is by my side instantly with one hand on my shoulder and the other on my belly. "Ana, what is it? What happened?" I try to calm my breathing to answer him. I don't want him to worry. "Ana, please answer me."
"I'm fine, Christian" I try to assure him. I put my hand on top of his. "I'm fine. I just had a little pain."
"A little pain, Ana? A little pain could be a big problem when carrying twins." He is on his blackberry before I can stop him. "Yes, Dr Greene. It's Christian Grey….. yes I know it is Friday evening. Ana's in pain."
"Christian" I whisper but he only responds by rubbing his hand up and down my back.
"Could you please come by and check on her? You know I will make it worth your while….. you can? Great, please hurry."
He ends the call and tosses his blackberry on the other side of the sofa.
"Christian…"
"Don't argue. I'm not taking chances. Lift your leg."
"What?" He places his hands on my knee and gently pulls it up so that it is resting on the sofa. "What are you doing?"
"We need to see if you're bleeding." He pushes my dress out of the way and tugs on my panties to check for blood."
"Anything?" I ask him nervously. I thought I could keep my cool but now I'm getting nervous with him talking about bleeding.
"No, there's nothing there" he says with relief in his voice. He fixes my panties and my dress before he stands and climbs onto the sofa behind me. I lean back against him and he wraps his arms around me, placing his hands on my belly. I place my hands on top of his and feel him plant kisses in my hair. "Calm. Everything's going to be fine" he says softly. "Dr Greene will be with us shortly."
"Thank you Christian" I say breathlessly since I'm trying to breathe through the pain. "I'm glad you're here. I've missed you."
"I've missed you too. I won't be making any more business trips. Not for a while. I want to be right here with you."
"What about New York?" I ask him. Grace and Carrick had purchased tickets for our family to see the Christmas Spectacular in two weeks. Each member of our family received their ticket for their birthday. They had planned this before they knew I was pregnant and wouldn't be able to travel. I'll be giving my ticket to Trevor since the Greys had already gotten one for Rebecca. Christian doesn't answer me so I know what's he's thinking. I start to rub my hand up and down his arm. "You have to go. The kids are looking forward to it."
"I don't want to leave you" he says as he plants kisses in my hair. It helps me relax as I continue to work on my breathing.
"I know you don't. But it will only be for a weekend and the Taylors will be here to look after me." Pain starts to rip through me again and I yell out in pain. Christian's hands wrap around mine and I squeeze them tight until the pain subsides.
"Breathe, Baby. Keep breathing."
I do as he says and breathe in and out until the pain goes away completely. I start to feel scared that something could be wrong. "Christian" I cry.
"I'm right here, Baby. Everything's going to be fine. Dr Greene is on her way."
"Only you can get that woman to make a house call on a Friday night."
"Only the best for my wife" he says before kissing my hair.
"Mmmm, how's Natalie?" I ask in an attempt to distract my nerves."
"She's fine. As soon as I got her upstairs and in the bath she was over her ordeal and her punishment. I let her pick out her pajamas."
"Jasmine?" I giggle.
"How'd you know?"
"Her favorite pajamas lately. Penny washed them for her this morning."
Taylor comes into the room and announces Dr Greene's arrival. I start to feel nervous again.
"Show her in" Christian orders. We watch as Dr Greene walks in with her medical bag. "Dr Greene, thank you for coming over."
"Good Evening Mr Grey. Ana, I hear that you are experiencing some pain" she says as she works to put gloves on. "When did this start?"
She sits down on the sofa and begins to examine me while Christian keeps his seat on the sofa behind me.
"About twenty minutes ago" I say nervously. "I was in the kitchen heating up our dinner."
"I see. Were you on your feet a lot today?"
I'm not supposed to be on my feet. I've been pretty good about that even when Christian hasn't been around to enforce it. "No, I haven't."
She finishes examining me and removes her gloves. She replaces them with another pair and takes my pulse and blood pressure. When she finishes she puts everything back into her medical bag.
"Well?" Christian asks. But there is more fear in his voice than reprimand.
"The good news is you are not in labor" she says as she puts on her glasses and pulls out her iPad. She starts to key in some information.
"Is there bad news?" I ask.
"Your heart rate is up. It's been high but steady throughout your pregnancy but it's slightly higher than usual. Did something happen recently that may have caused you stress?"
I gulp and turn my head toward Christian, who is still seated behind me.
"I was out of town on business for a few days" he admits softly. "I just returned today. And our daughter did something that scared us and got us both upset."
"What happened?"
"She figured out how to open the door and she went outside by herself" I say to her. "I woke from a nap and couldn't find her. I panicked." I start to get upset and feel Christian's arms tighten around me.
"It's not your fault" he says to me softly.
"I yelled at her, Christian" I snap at him, but I really don't mean to. "I was so upset and so scared, and when we found her I just flipped out on her. I didn't mean to do that." I start to cry and Christian comforts me. Dr Greene also puts a comforting hand on top of mine. "I'm sorry"
"It's okay" Christian says as he plants kisses in my hair.
"Ana, Honey, you need to relax. Take some deep breaths for me." I do as the doctor says and it seems to help. I'm able to stop crying and gain some composure. "That's it. You will need to do that anytime you feel yourself getting upset or overwhelmed. You will also need to avoid stress as much as possible."
As soon as she sees that I've settled, she starts to put her things back into her medical bag. "Dr Greene, do you think it will be a problem for me to travel tomorrow, in a car?" I start to sit up and away from Christian's embrace as I ask the question. I know he's going to want me to stay home.
"How long would you be in the car?"
"We're driving to Vancouver to see Phoebe in a competition." She looks away from me and at Christian. I immediately grow annoyed. "Dr Greene! Please. Phoebe will be performing her first competition solo. I can't miss it."
"Ana, we need to think about the babies" Christian says gently. But that does little to placate me.
"I need to be there. I would just be in a car. We can stop half way through to rest if we need to."
"I don't see a problem with it" Dr Greene finally says. I can feel Christian's glare toward her without having to turn around to see his face. But I can't worry about that. "You need to rest tonight, no being on your feet, and no stress. Get a good night sleep and avoid activity in the morning as well. I'm sure Mr Grey is happy to do all of the heavy lifting."
"That I am" he says civilly.
After Dr Greene leaves, Christian and I finally have our dinner and discuss Natalie again. I still feel guilty for yelling at her like I did. Christian tries to assure me that I shouldn't worry, that our baby girl is fine and she knows not to go outside on her own anymore. I sit with her and watch a movie while Christian clears the table and cleans the dishes. When she's tired, she cuddles to me and falls asleep instantly. We stay like this for some time while I stroke her hair, feeling grateful that my pains have stopped. I feel relaxed with her sleeping against me. I start to doze off myself until Christian's gentle voice wakes me. "I'll take her up, then I'll come back down for you" he says to me softly. I shake my head.
"That's not necessary. Let's walk up together."
He gives me that look, the look he has when I defy him. Any other time I would brush it off and do what I want. But after today's scare, I decide to back down and wait for him to come back for me. I watch his facial expression relax when I lower myself back onto the sofa, and I watch as he carries Natalie out of the room. Her little face, she's so adorable when she sleeps.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Christian's POV
I wake in the middle of the night to soft whimpering sounds coming from Natalie's monitor. I slowly sit up and listen carefully to see if she needs something. Sometimes she'll make little noises in the middle of the night, but then she would go back to sleep. This is one of those nights where she doesn't do that. She continues to whimper and say "Daddy" a few times. I climb out of bed and turn the volume down on the monitor before I leave the room.
When I walk into Natalie's room I see that her teddy bear is on the floor and she had kicked her covers off. She always kicks her covers off. I sit on the bed, lean down and pick up her teddy bear for her.
"Daddy" she whimpers.
"Shhh, its okay, go back to sleep."
"Daddy, I need a hug" she says in a high pitched whiny voice.
"You need a hug?" I try to mirror her tone as I reach over for her. "Come on, I've got you."
I pull her into my lap and wrap my arms around her in a hug. I rock her and kiss the top of her head, and before I know it she is sound asleep again. I settle her back in her bed and cover her up. "Good night, Sweet Pea. I love you."
I walk back into my bedroom and walk around the bed to where we keep Natalie's monitor. We keep it on Ana's side since we both face that way while we sleep. We want to be able to see her in the video monitor. I grab it to adjust the volume again, but the volume control is already turned up to its maximum. I know I'd adjusted the volume before leaving the room. I look down at Ana and realize that she's not asleep after all. "You adjusted the volume?"
A smile grows on Ana's face. "I couldn't resist. You are so great with her."
"Am I?" I ask as I climb into bed behind her and wrap my arms around her.
"You are. And you are going to be great with our babies."
"I can't wait to meet them. But now is far too soon for them to make an appearance into the world." I put my nose in her hair and kiss her a few times. "We need to be extra careful, Ana. We need to keep these babies inside of you for as long as possible."
"You're right."
"I'm right?" She giggles at that. "Glad to hear you say that Mrs Grey." I kiss her again. "Sleep"
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Christian's POV
I am in Natalie's room getting her dressed for the day. I have her sitting up on her changing table and I'm putting socks on her feet. She is humming some song she's made up. I love it when she does that. Once both socks are on I kiss her forehead and lower her to the ground. "Let's get your shoes on" I tell her as she runs to her closet. She goes through a few pairs of shoes before she picks the pair that she wants to wear.
"Dese ones, Daddy. I wanna weaw dese shoes."
She holds them up to me and I eye them speculatively. "These are rain boots, Honey. It's not raining outside." I take them from her and look around her closet for another pair.
"Pweeeease?"
"It's Please. Pllllllease" I say as I emphasize the letter "L". She just giggles. I hold the boots in my hand and look at her again. "You sure these are the shoes you want to wear?"
"Yes. I wanna weaw dese shoes."
"Okay" I give in. Ana and I have discussed letting Natalie have say in what she wears. It makes her so happy. She loves her clothes and her shoes. "Want Daddy's help?"
"No, I can do it myself" she says with confidence. She sits on the floor and takes her time to put them on. While she's doing that I finish packing her suitcase for tonight. She'll be staying at Escala with Kate and Elliot while Ana and I drive to Vancouver for Phoebe's competition. It is an all-day event so we'll be staying overnight tonight. Mia and Ethan will be there as well since Elizabeth's group is also competing. They will be bringing their kids and their nanny Leticia.
As soon as Natalie has her boots on, she stands and does her modeling. It's so cute. She's wearing a white shirt with Tinkerbelle and green and yellow glitter on it, a light pink ruffled skirt, white leggings and light green rain boots. "Ready to go?"
"Yes" I zip up her suitcase as she runs over to me. She extends her arms high in the air in front of me. "Carry you" she says. That's one of her ways to say that she wants to be carried. As much as I love carrying her, I'm trying to get her to be independent.
"Don't you want to be a big girl and walk?"
"Pweeease, Daddy. I wanna carry you."
I let out a hard sigh and give in. I've been away from her for most of the week and I'm going to be away from her again tonight. I lift her up and blow raspberries on her neck. She laughs loud and hard as I do it. "It's Please. Pllllllllease" I say again. She giggles and tries to make the "L" sound as well, but she has a hard time since her giggles take over again.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Ana's POV
Once again, I wake up in our bed alone. For a few minutes I think that Christian is still away in Taiwan. But as realty sets in, I am aware that Christian did come home last night and he did sleep in our bed. He held me while I fell asleep. To this day I still love falling asleep in his arms. That's where I feel the safest. But right now he's not here. It's early, only seven o'clock. We don't usually get up before eight on Saturdays.
I manage to climb out of bed and then I'm reminded of the pain I was in last night. I worry that will happen again. I rub my pregnancy belly as I recall Dr Greene's orders. I need to avoid stress and do my breathing anytime I feel myself getting upset or overwhelmed. I take a few deep breathes and let them out. I'm okay. What a relief. Before Christian comes in I manage to use the toilet and brush my teeth. Then I am welcomed into his warm embrace.
"Good morning, Beautiful"
"Good morning, my handsome husband."
"How'd you sleep?" he asks me as he pushes a few strands of my hair behind my ear.
"A lot better now that you're home."
He kisses me again. "Me too."
He leaves go of me and goes about gathering some things from the top of our dresser. I then look over and see a suitcase. "I thought Gail had already unpacked your suitcase from Taiwan."
"She did. That's our suitcase."
"You packed it already? When?"
He makes his way back over to me. "This morning, while you were sleeping beautifully. Natalie's suitcase is also packed. I'd like to get on the road early so that we have plenty of time to make a few stops if we need to."
I wrap my arms around him again. "You're so sweet to do this. But tell me something. Is there more in that suitcase for me than just maternity lingerie?"
He chuckles. "If it were up to me, you wouldn't need anything in that suitcase. But since we'll be in a very public place, and I'm not one to share, I've packed two maternity dresses for you in case you decide to change into one of them later. There are also pajamas and an outfit for tomorrow."
"Mmmm, you think of everything."
"I know" he says before kissing me again. "Where's Phoebe?"
"She stayed overnight at Dani's house."
"Did she now?"
"Yes. After she had dinner with Trevor he dropped her off. She and the girls rehearsed there last night and spent the night. I told you this, didn't I?" Oh no, did I forget to mention Phoebe's plans to Christian?
"No, you didn't." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his blackberry."
"What are you doing?"
"I'm calling her."
"Christian" I try to protest but he ignores me.
"Hey Peanut" he says happily. I can hear Phoebe's voice on the other end. She sounds happy to hear from him. "I was hoping to have breakfast with you before we had to leave for Vancouver." I watch as Christian's face falls as he hears Phoebe's plans. I thought I'd told him but I guess I forgot. Phoebe and her friends were able to arrange for a bus to drive them to the competition, so we won't see her until we get there. "Okay. And Dovis will be driving right behind you?... Good girl, thank you. I'll see you when I get there. I love you."
He disconnects the call after I hear Phoebe say she loves him back. I'm glad that Phoebe's happy, but I feel sad for my Fifty. I put my hands on him and try to comfort him. "You okay?"
He continues to look at his blackberry for a few minutes. "Not too long ago she was terrified to be away from us overnight."
"I know, but this is good for her."
"You're right" he says, but he's not happy about it. "I just miss her, you know? I've been away from my family all week and I was hoping to spend some time with her."
"Did you miss me?" I ask him to distract him. I'm awarded with a cocked eyebrow.
"Of course I missed you." He wraps both arms around me again and sighs.
"Don't pout, you hate pouting."
"I hate when other people pout" he corrects me.
"Oh, I see. Do what I say, not as I do."
"Are you questioning my authority, Mrs Grey?"
"Wouldn't dream of it, Mr Grey" I say innocently. I'm awarded with his boyish smile. He then dips his head down and gently kisses me.
"How are you feeling?"
We continue to hold each other and gently sway. "I'm feeling good. I feel relaxed after having a good night sleep in your arms. And I'm so grateful to you for taking care of everything." I look over at our suitcase again and smile. "I wish I could have been awake to see you pack." I am making fun of him. Usually Gail and I take care of all of the packing anytime we have to go somewhere.
"Are you making fun of me?"
"I wouldn't dare."
We continue to hold each other and sway. I love these moments with my husband. Playful and silly.
"I think you would dare, and I think you dare very often."
"Mmmm" He gently kisses me and my mouth automatically opens when his lips touch mine, welcoming his tongue in to dance with mine.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Ana's POV
We arrive at the competition and we are able to sit with Mia and Ethan. We exchange hugs and kisses while there is nobody on stage dancing. Christian helps me sit next to Mia and he sits to my left. Mia is extremely excited to see us and cannot stop talking. I'm glad nobody is dancing at the moment because I know the other parents would be annoyed with her energy. She goes on to say that we should have brought Natalie, as their nanny Leticia could have looked after her today. She's very good with Christopher and Sophia. I look over at Christian and take his hand. I know he wants to speak up and defend our decision to leave Natalie at Escala, but I do it for him.
"We wanted Natalie to spend some time with Kate and Elliot. And Cameron since we want her to get used to being around a baby that is younger than her." That's only part of the reason actually. Since being pregnant with Teddy, Christian and I have always felt strongly about not having a nanny for our kids. We wanted to be the ones to care for our kids even though we both had careers. Gail would step in and help once in a while, but that's as far as it went. We've only had family members care for our kids anytime we were unable to.
The crowd hushes as the competition resumes and the MC speaks exuberantly through the microphone. "For those of you just joining us, welcome to 'Dance Craze'. We are ready to get started with our Petite Small Group Competition."
We watch three groups dance before it is time for Elizabeth's group. This is very exciting because I've never got to see my niece dance. She had danced with a team when they lived in California and they've competed, but never in Washington. Mia is very excited and I can tell she is having a hard time containing it. I look over and see that she is squeezing Ethan's hand. He also has a smile on his face.
The MC announces their group and a few of the girls do their dance walk onto the stage into their positions. The girls in this group range from ages seven to ten. They are wearing shiny yellow costumes. Their hair is tied back into buns and they are wearing yellow barrettes to match. The music starts and I can feel the energy from my seat. They are dancing to "Hey Pachuco" which has a very fast tempo and loud base. The girls start the dance with a bunch of acrobatic tricks and the crowd immediately cheers. We see Elizabeth enter the stage with a front flip. I think it's called a front aerial. She then does a triple turn into a leap and side tumble on the floor. I'm impressed. I didn't know Elizabeth could do all of that. Once all of the girls are on the stage they dance for a bit and then go into more tricks. There are a lot of swing moves in their dance and it's a lot of fun. The crowd really enjoys their dance and I can see that Mia and Ethan are thrilled. When the dance is finished the crowd cheers loudly. All of the parents from our studio stand and applaud. I look over at Jenna and she is jumping up and down. She had choreographed the dance so this moment is very exciting for her.
"Mia, that was amazing. I didn't know Elizabeth could do all of that" I say when Mia takes her seat. I look over at Christian and I can tell he is impressed as well.
"Dancing in LA was extremely competitive so she got some good training while we lived there. They were adamant that all students took acrobatic classes three times a week." I'm so happy for my niece. I look over at her on stage and she has a huge smile on her face as the girls do their dance walk off of the stage. A feeling of guilt takes over and I reach over for Christian's hand. I can't help but think of Phoebe. Did our overprotectiveness deprive her of this joy when she was little? She could have been doing this at Elizabeth's age.
"What's wrong?" Christian whispers. I look up at him and smile, trying to hide my guilt. His thumb starts to rub my knuckles. When I don't answer him, he leans over and puts his nose in my hair and whispers "Are you alright?"
I nod and he pulls away slightly to look at me. "I was thinking about Phoebe" I whisper. "Why didn't we put her in dance when she was little?"
I watch his mouth form into a hard line as he turns his head away from me. He's feeling guilty too. "We were afraid she would get hurt" he whispers.
"I feel guilty, like we made her miss out on something like this. Liz was so happy up there…." I start to cry and his nose is in my hair again instantly. I'm grateful that the next group's music starts as I sniffle.
"Shhh, don't cry" he tries to soothe me. "That wasn't your fault. It was my fault. I didn't want to put our kids in sports because I didn't want them to get hurt."
"Do you think Phoebe regrets not dancing as a kid?"
He shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know. But I know she enjoys it now. That's why we're here."
I nod and try to gain some composure. I feel Mia take my other hand. "Is everything alright?"
I nod and smile at her, hoping that she lets it go. Thankfully she does.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Christian's POV
I feel like such a shitty father sometimes. Ana is right. We did deprive our kids of things when they were little in favor of keeping them safe. Now that I think about it, that wasn't a good lesson to teach them. I don't want to teach my kids to avoid opportunities because they are afraid. I don't doubt that Teddy and Phoebe had happy childhoods, but I know they would have been happier if we'd let them join organized sports or activities.
Phoebe had to lie to us in order to get into dance. I was furious, but after some time that fury turned into pride for my daughter. I understand why she did it and I'm glad she did. She loves dancing and she's made friends with the girls on her dance team.
Ana and I sit through a few more dance routines before we are approached by Jenna. She looks worried. "What is it Jenna?"
"It's Phoebe. She's thinking about pulling her solo."
"What?" I ask as I sit up straighter in my seat. Ana also starts to get worried. "Why, what happened?"
"She's nervous. Maybe one of you can talk to her."
I look over at Ana. I don't want her to worry over this. "I'll go" I say before kissing her cheek and standing, not giving her the opportunity to protest.
I follow Jenna back to the area where the girls are getting ready. She makes sure everyone is decent before we walk in. Some of the girls are putting more make-up on while a few others are doing each other's hair, sitting and talking and eating snacks. Phoebe is sitting off to the side talking to Alana. She's as white as a sheet. I walk over and Alana offers me her seat. They leave us to run a few of the girls' solos since they will be competing soon.
"Hey Peanut" I lean over and take her in my arms. I haven't seen her since leaving for Taiwan. I can feel how nervous she is just by holding her. I rub my hand up and down her back for a few seconds before releasing her. "What's going on?"
"I can't do this, Dad." She's upset and I can tell she is trying to hold back tears. "I know you and Mom came all the way out here, and I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do this. Please don't be mad."
"What is it that you think you can't do?"
"I can't do this solo."
"Why not?"
"Who was I kidding?" she asks. "These girls have been dancing all their lives. I've only been dancing for three years. I can't compete with them."
Here it comes, the guilt I was feeling earlier for not putting my kids in sports when they were little. If we had put Phoebe in dance when she was little, she would have more confidence in herself. Perhaps she wouldn't have been as sensitive as she is. I can't worry about that now, though. I need to be here for Phoebe and help her see how amazing she is. I take both of her hands into mine. "Phoebe, why did you decide to do this in the first place?"
"I don't know" she says. Her voice is trembling.
"Yes you do. Tell me."
She takes a deep breath and lets it out. "Because it was fun. I liked working on it with Jenna and she choreographed this beautiful number. And then we joked about putting it in a competition. We kept working on it and she said that we should go for it."
"Do you think she would have suggested it if she didn't believe you could do this?"
There is a pause before she answers. "No"
"No, she wouldn't have. Three years ago Alana and Jenna were in on your plan to surprise us with a dance at the recital. And how did that turn out?"
"You were angry."
I chuckle, but she doesn't find it amusing. "That's not what I meant. I mean how did your performance turn out?"
"I was really nervous, but I guess I did okay."
"You did amazing" I correct her. "I know I didn't react well to it, but you danced beautifully. And you only had eight months of dancing at that point. You're ready for this, Phoebe. You've worked hard for it. I don't want you to compare yourself to the other dancers. Just focus on you."
She looks down and nods. Jenna joins us and puts her hand on the back of my chair. "Phoebe, have you decided what you'd like to do?"
Phoebe looks at her and then at me. I take her hands in mine again. "I'll support whatever decision you make. I won't be upset, I promise."
Phoebe nods and thinks it over for a minute. "I wanna do the solo" she says softly.
I smile at her hoping she smiles back. She does offer a slight smile.
"Go and get your costume and then we'll run it a few times" Jenna says.
"Phoebe" I say to stop her from standing. "One more thing…. I want you to have fun. I want you to remember that dance makes you happy. Don't think about the competition, just do this for you."
She nods again. "Okay. Thanks Dad." She hugs me tightly and from this hug I know she's going to be okay. I kiss the top of her head before leaving her to get ready.
When I return to my seat all six eyes are on me. "Is Phoebe okay?" they all ask me.
I take Ana's hand in mine. "She's fine. Just a little nervous. I think I was able to calm her down."
Ana reaches over and kisses my cheek. "You're a great Dance Dad" she tells me before snuggling to me.
I can't help but chuckle. "Dance Dad?"
"Dance Dad" she confirms.
We watch a few of the teen solos. They are different from the petite and junior solos in that each dancer has a thirty second video play before their performance to introduce themselves and explain what their dance is about. I am very much looking forward to Phoebe's video and performance. We've been to a few competitions since Phoebe has been dancing in the group numbers, but this is different. This is so much more special because our baby has a solo. I feel excited and nervous for her. I want her to do well and I want her to enjoy herself. When it is her turn, I can't help but hold my breath.
I know I don't do cliffhangers very often, but it was time to come to a stopping point and post a chapter for you. I hope you liked it. Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate all of the reviews and PMs. You guys are great and I am definitely encouraged. Happy Reading!