I'm sleeping peacefully, vividly dreaming of playing with the kids in the beautiful flower-filled field next to the pond at the Amity farm when the sound of Tessa's cries pull me from my slumber. I manage to pry myself from Tobias' vice-like embrace without waking him, causing him to groan then untangle my legs not only from his but also from the bedsheet that is hopelessly twisted around us. I look at the clock and am surprised to see that it's not even 2 a.m. It's been a while since she's had me up at this time. I quietly pad into her room after slipping into my robe and change her wet diaper, which calms her down immediately. I sit in her rocking chair and check to see if she's hungry but she's not so I just rock her until she falls back to sleep. After I gently put her back into her crib, I get back in bed and snuggle into Tobias' side. He rolls toward me and instinctively wraps his arms around me. I just fall back to sleep when loud knocking on our front door wakes me and makes Tessa start wailing. What now!
"Why must people bother us in the middle of the night?" I hatefully mutter, dragging my robe back on as Tobias rolls out of bed. He blindly searches for his sleep shorts and pulls them up his naked body ... backwards.
"I don't know," he mumbles, his voice thick with sleep as he fixes his shorts. "Hopefully, you can get Tessa to calm down before she wakes up Tyler."
"Mommy," Tyler yells from his room.
"Too late," I say. We don't get out of our bedroom before the knocking becomes louder and incessant. "Go make whoever that is stop." First, I pick up Tessa then go into Tyler's room. "You're okay, buddy. Someone's at the door. Why don't we get you into Mommy and Daddy's bed? I don't know how long we'll be." I help him out of bed and into ours and kiss his forehead before heading downstairs. I try to quiet Tessa who is still crying but not as loudly as before all the way down the stairs. There standing in the middle of my living room are Tori, Purple-Hair, Snake-Tattoo, Brody, and Ana. I feel the irritation I was already experiencing grow twofold. "What's going on here? It's the middle of the night. We have children who are trying to sleep." I stare at Tori not even trying to hide my annoyance.
"These two left the compound," she says, a little too rudely for my liking. "Simon and Tony found them outside."
"Simon, Tony, you two can go now," I say. "We'll take care of this from here." They look from Tori to Tobias. "Go. Now."
"Yes, Tris," they say at the same time, nodding and then quietly leave the apartment. They must have sensed that I'm not to be messed with right now.
"You can go now, too, Tori," I say. "We'll discuss some boundaries in the morning." She sighs and shakes her head.
"Fine," she says and stalks out.
"As for you two, sit," I say, pointing to the couch. "Where did you go?" Ana and Brody walk around the furniture and sit down on the couch.
"I went back to the dorms after I left the infirmary like the doctor told me to," Brody says. "But it was just so suffocating. I had to get out of there. I didn't really know where I was going, I just needed some air so I climbed toward the glass ceiling and made my way outside. I sat on one of the benches right outside the building thinking about everything, and then she sat down beside me. I told her to go back inside, that I didn't need her but she wouldn't listen."
"I was just trying to help," Ana shyly says.
"You were sitting on the benches outside my office … the glass office?" I ask. They nod. Tori! "You swear you didn't go anywhere else?"
"No, we didn't," Ana says. "We sat on those black benches."
"Go back to the dorms and try to get some sleep," I say. "I expect you to be in the training room at 8 a.m. sharp. Both of you. We'll talk more about this in the morning."
"I'm not sure if I'll be there," Brody says. A very soft gasp leaves Ana's lips.
"Ana, please go back to the dorms," Tobias says. "Don't let me catch you out after curfew again and don't leave the compound without a Dauntless member with you."
"Yes, Four," she says. She gets up and hurry's out of the apartment, looking back at Brody for a moment before closing the door. I sit down on the love seat with Tessa snuggled into my chest, making sure that my robe is adequately covering me.
"What do you mean you're not sure you'll be there?" I ask, not unkindly.
"I'm not sure I want to stay here without ... her," he says, unable to say her name. "My life has no purpose anymore, no direction. She was everything to me. I might as well go back to what I know." My eyes meet Tobias', and he looks just as concerned as I feel.
"Brody, I can't say I know how you feel because I've never been through what you're going through now," I say. "But there is something that I do know, you deserve a life. Faith wouldn't want you to give up. You two joined Dauntless so you could have a chance at a better life."
"We had our entire future planned out then we heard that the faction leaders were allowing factionless teens to go through the initiation process," he says. "We thought, what the hell. We had the aptitude test and our future shifted. We decided to join Dauntless but she's gone now so I don't belong here."
"I'm going to let you in on a little secret," Tobias says. "You are the highest ranking initiate right now. Initiate not transfer. You do belong here."
"I want you to do something for me," I say. "I want you to finish initiation, giving it your all. If, after the final rankings are revealed, you want to leave and become factionless, we won't stop you."
"There's something I want you to do," Tobias says. "I want you to let the others in. No one will ever take Faith's place but you don't need to isolate yourself. I'm going to give you some advice my mentor gave me during initiation when he saw me separating myself from the other transfers. He told me that joining a faction is about more than getting through initiation. It's where you meet friends, make enemies, and fall in love."
"It happens," I say. "I met my best friend on the train on Choosing Day. Four pulled me out of the net."
"And your enemy?" Brody asks.
"We don't have to worry about him anymore," I say after I clear my throat and he immediately catches my meaning.
"Can you do that?" Tobias asks. Brody hangs his head for a couple minutes. When he looks up at us he has determination set on his face.
"Okay," he says. "I'll finish initiation, and then I'll make my decision. I'm sorry for the interruption tonight. I'll go back to the dorm now." He gets up and leaves without another word.
"Let's go back to bed," I say.
"Not so fast, Tris," he says with a sigh. "What's with the hostility toward Tori?"
"Can we please go back to bed?" I ask. "I'm already going to be sleep walking tomorrow."
"Fine," he mutters. I sigh. I really don't want to fight with him. "I'll put Tessa in her crib." He very gently takes her out of my arms and heads upstairs in front of me. I watch him as he lies her in the crib without waking her. When he turns around, he's surprised to see me standing here. I take him by the hand and lead him into the bathroom and close the door.
"Tyler's in our bed," I say as an explanation. "I sent Tori home because she's acting like she can't do the job that was entrusted to her. If I was rude when I sent her away, I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention. I'm just tired, tired of it all." He's leaning against the sink, brows furrowed, staring at me.
"Tris … love." I know that censuring tone.
"Don't lecture me, Tobias," I say. "Not now. I just want to get some sleep. I'm tired of the middle of the night interruptions." I move to him and rest my head on his chest and wrap my arms around his waist. He hugs me close and kisses my head.
"We'll talk to her in the morning and set some boundaries," he says. "I can't guarantee that we'll never be woken up in the middle of the night ever again though. We are leaders of a faction after all. Let's go back to bed. We still have a couple hours before the alarm goes off." He leads me into our bedroom, and Tyler is sprawled out in the middle of the bed, making himself at home. We both chuckle at the sight. Tobias very gently picks him up and carries him to his own bed. I once again slip my robe off and slide in between the sheets and rest my head on my pillow. I hope I'm able to get back to sleep. Not a minute later, Tobias slips into bed beside me, and I nestle into his side. We sleep cuddled up against one another until the alarm jolts us awake. He hits the snooze button with a groan, and I sigh into his chest.
"Do we have to get up?" I ask, sleep thick in my voice as I stretch. I feel like I only got a couple hours of sleep even though it was a few more than that. This is going to be a damn long day.
"I'm afraid we do," he says.
"You go ahead and use the bathroom first," I say, listening to Tessa's mewing through the baby monitor. "It sounds like our little one needs me." He rolls toward me and captures my mouth in a long, slow, loving kiss while one hand moves over my naked body.
"Good morning, love," he says. "I hope today is better for all of us. We'll talk to Tori after breakfast, okay?"
"Okay," I say. He moans softly, letting me go after giving me another tender kiss. As he goes into the bathroom, I go into Tessa's room and find Tyler standing at her crib, looking at her. "Good morning, buddy. What are you doing?"
"I lookin' at Tess," he says matter-of-factly. "She laughin' at me."
"Was she?" I ask as I lift her out of the crib. "Were you being silly?"
"No," he says like I've lost my mind. "I just talkin' to hew."
"You're a good brother keeping her company," I say. "Hey, why don't you do Mommy a favor and pick out an outfit for her." He nods enthusiastically and goes into her closet. This will give him something to do while I feed her.
"How this?" he asks about 10 minutes later holding up a black, leopard print, and white tulle tutu romper that says Born To Wear Diamonds in faux diamonds across the front.
"That's really pretty," I say. "You did a very good job." I'll have to look for the matching bow headband and black shoes. I imagine I'll also have to put some of her other outfits back where they belong but that's what I get for asking him to pick what she's going to wear today.
"Look, Daddy," Tyler says, drawing my attention to Tobias who's standing in the doorway staring at the three of us. He holds up the outfit to his dad. "I picked out fo Tess."
"You did a great job. She's going to look so cute in that," he says. "How about you pick out your own outfit today? I'll help you."
"Otay," he says. "Bye, Tess. Bye, Mommy."
"Bye, buddy," I say. I watch them walk out of the room then look down at Tessa and say, "I know why you were laughing at your brother because he's super silly this morning." She releases me and laughs again. "And you're super cute." After she finishes nursing, I go to the closet to look for the accessories that match the outfit Tyler picked out. I'm pleasantly surprised that he didn't make a terrible mess. The dresser drawers are a little disorganized but I've seen worse after Tobias has looked for something. I find what I'm looking for, change her out of her dirty diaper, and dress her. "How about you help Mommy pick out something to wear today, little one?" I carry her into my bedroom and stand in front of the closet looking for something comfortable to wear.
"Here let me take her," Tobias says.
"Go to Daddy," I say handing her to him. I look down at Tyler who looks very grown up in his faded black jeans, black t-shirt, and combat boots. I have to laugh. He's dressed exactly like Tobias. "Nice outfit, Tyler."
"I look like Daddy," he proudly says.
"Yes, you do look just like your Daddy," I say. I squat down and give him a big hug and kiss, which he happily returns.
"We'll go start breakfast," Tobias says. "How does bacon and eggs sound?" My stomach growls appreciatively at the mention of food as Tyler claps his hands together excitedly. Tessa looks down at him and laughs. My kids are so cute. "Come on guys. Let's go downstairs so Mommy can get ready."
"I'll see you soon," I say.
"In case you missed it, Tyler picked out an outfit for you, too," Tobias says. "It's laying on the bed." I turn and sure enough there's a pair of black boot cut maternity jeans with a sleeveless light grey maternity shirt with a thin satin sash the exact same color that ties into a small bow under my right breast. It's another hand-me-down from Christina that I've never worn.
"Thank you, Tyler," I say. "I appreciate it." They go downstairs to fix breakfast while I go into the bathroom to get ready for my day. After a quick shower, I dry and style my hair, put on some light makeup, and then I dress in the outfit Tyler picked out. I have to admit, he did a wonderful job. I feel very feminine and pretty in this outfit. I slip into my favorite pair of comfortable black ankle boots and double check how I look in the mirror before going downstairs for breakfast.
"Mommy, you pwetty," Tyler says as I come into the living room. He runs over to me and wraps his arms around my legs, squeezing tightly.
"Thank you," I say. "You did a really good job picking out my outfit for me. Did anyone help you?"
"Yeah, Daddy help," he says.
"Be careful with Mommy, buddy. You don't want her to fall," Tobias says, looking over his shoulder. He gives me a once over and a dazzling smile spreads over his face. "You do look very pretty today, love." Tyler releases me and runs into the kitchen and Tobias lifts him onto a barstool he pulled over so he can watch.
"Thank you," I say.
"I left a message for Tori," Tobias says. I squat down in front of Tessa and wipe the drool off her chin before it gets on her shirt then give her a big kiss and restart her swing. "She's going to meet us outside the daycare center at 7:30. I told her we have some things to go over with her, and that should give us enough time to get to the training room before 8:00."
"Okay," I say. It's funny how the strong irritation I was feeling earlier has vanished. Now I feel bad for how I treated her. I'm definitely going to have to swallow my pride and apologize. I could blame it all on pregnancy hormones but the truth is, I was irritable and wanted to wield my power over someone since I was feeling so powerless, and she was my unlucky victim. I walk to the kitchen and lean up against the counter next to him. "I have to apologize to her. I took my frustrations out on her. I should apologize to you, too. I've put you in a precarious position the past couple of days. You shouldn't have to choose between me and your duties. That's unfair of me."
"There's no choice, love," he says, caressing my face. "It will always be you. But I have to thank you for that. So you're feeling better, huh?"
"Still a bit emotional," I say.
"Everything's going to be okay," he says, leaning over and putting his lips on mine for a quick kiss. "Why don't you sit down? Breakfast is almost ready."
"Okay," I say. I walk around the island and sit in my usual spot and watch as Tobias plates fluffy scrambled eggs, crispy thick cut bacon, wheat toast with honey butter, and fruit salad with yogurt and walnuts. "Can I have apple juice this morning instead of OJ?" I have a strong craving right now. I probably could drink a gallon but then I wouldn't be able to stay out of the bathroom.
"Of course," he says as he slides the plates across the island to me. He pours us each a juice, and sits down beside me.
"This is really good this morning," I say when I'm nearly done. "Did you do something different?"
"No," he says.
"Well, it's really good. Thank you."
"You're very welcome," he says. After we finish breakfast, Tobias cleans up the kitchen with Tyler's help while I change Tessa's diaper. She immediately falls asleep once she's dry and comfortable.
"Are you ready to go?" I ask as I come back downstairs.
"We are," Tobias says. He carries Tessa's stroller down to the Pire then after I gently lie her in it, I push her down the path to the daycare center while Tyler rides on Tobias' shoulders. When she sees our sleeping girl, Mrs. Wheeler immediately takes her to the baby room so she can continue her nap, and we take Tyler into the play room. After saying goodbye, he goes to play with Zane, Emma, Elliott, and Mia. We watch them for a couple minutes then quietly excuse ourselves. When we exit the daycare center, Tori is waiting for us.
"Hi, Tori," I say. "Before we start, I need to apologize. I could blame my bad behavior on pregnancy hormones but it wouldn't be completely true. All the stress of the past week or two got to be too much, and I took it out on you."
"Thanks, Tris."
"That being said, we've got to draw a line," Tobias says. "Please don't come to our home in the middle of the night unless it's an emergency. What Brody and Ana did was wrong but since they didn't leave the property, it wasn't necessary to bring them to us. I trust you, Tori. I wouldn't have offered you the job if I didn't have faith in you. You could have handled the situation. As a matter of fact, you should have taken care of it."
"I'm overwhelmed, Four," she says with a sigh. She leans against the hallway wall and runs her hands through her long black hair, which seems to be a typical reaction to stress here in Dauntless. "I don't know how you do everything."
"I've assembled a great team around me," he says. "If you need anything at all during business hours, call or message me. If it's after hours and not an emergency, message me, and I'll get back to you in the morning. I don't want you to be overwhelmed. The next six weeks will be over before we all know it."
"Four, Tris, Tori," Will says, running up to us, panting. He leans over with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. "I've been looking everywhere for you. We have a serious problem. They just found an initiate in the chasm."