Disclaimer: I do not own the ghosts from the Legend of Zelda series, the crucial component of Benjamin Franklin's famous (probably not real) kite experiment, or the adorable, if not stereotypical and slightly racist interpretation of a Jamaican referring to a male compatriot.

And I certainly don't own those three things strung together into a single word, either.

Chapter 19: Axel Explains It All

Amber

I didn't waste any time. With gentle taps, I tested for where the fractures were, judging their location by his reactions. I looked up at Detective Jenny. "Are you attached to that scarf, by any chance?"

"My wife knit this for me, thank you," the Detective spat, clutching the fabric for dear life.

"Then I'll need you to tear off one of your coat sleeves," I commanded, forgetting completely that this was an officer of the law. It worked, though, because the Detective begrudgingly ripped his sleeve off in one go, handing me the fabric.

Taking a pair of hand scissors from my bag, I quickly fashioned a makeshift wrap to hold the bones in place until we reached town. He struggled a little, even objected, but I held firm, eventually succeeding in creating a functional brace with the addition of a few nearby branches, sliced for size by the patient himself.

"I want you to go in your Pokéball immediately," I told Inigo, despite his cries of protest. "And don't you dare come out until we get you to a Pokémon center, understood? If I see you walking around or even chopping things from a seated position, the consequences will be dire." Inigo flinched visibly, and, contracting into red light, returned into his Pokéball.

"That's amazing, Amber!" Vanna applauded me as I moved on to Shelligan. "How did you do that? I've met quite a few Pokémon Rangers who wouldn't have known how to deal with a Pokémon breaking a leg."

"It's not my fault we've been brainwashed into thinking that Pokémon Centers heal everything," I commented, examining a large gash under the Squirtle's right arm. "But, thanks anyway. Believe it or not, before I got it into my head that Axel had died for… some reason or another, I was training to be a nurse. Also spent a good bit of time teaching first aid to the local Girl Scout troop." I sighed, both because of the simpler, more innocent memories I'd recalled, and because of what I was about to tell Shelligan. "Shelligan, I'm sorry, but I'm going to need to sew this up. Now. Just try not to squirm too much, ok?"

"Um… not that I know any better," Detective Jenny said as I used Qwill's breath to sterilize the needle, "but shouldn't we be tending Axel as well? He got thrown across this place… at least three times by my count, and I still don't entirely buy that he wasn't stepped on…"

"He'll live," I shrugged off, pushing the needle gently into Shelligan's skin. "During a class trip to the Maxilla Radio Tower, Axel fell off the seventh story balcony and limped away with just a sprained ankle and a broken toe. I swear sometimes that he knows how to use Harden."

Vanna laughed, paused, and then began to giggle, seemingly at something else. What was so funny? Did this girl get her kicks from… oh God.

"Not like that," I stressed. "Honestly, Vanna, are you twelve?"

"I certainly hope not, or a good number of guys out there are in trouble," she said coyly, winking at Detective Jenny.

I took a deep breath, letting my anger pass, and tied off Shelligan's stitched as gently as I could. "Such a good boy," I said lovingly, patting him on the head. "Who's my well-behaved little guy? It's you isn't it? In your Pokéball, now." Shelligan, realizing objections were futile, immediately retreated.

"Qwill!" I called out. "You… of course you're fine. Shouldn't have even bothered asking." I lowered myself down to the ground next to Axel, picking up the arm that was strapped inside the black and gold gauntlet. "What do you guys think this thing is?" I asked, examining it closely. I hadn't noticed while I was running it back here, but it actually seemed fairly complicated, with mechanized components whirring about even as it wasn't being used. Looking closer at the part near Axel's shoulder, I cringed. Parts of it seemed to have bored itself into his skin.

"Fashionable?" Vanna offered. "He certainly seemed to get a lot more confident when he was wearing it, didn't he?"

"It looks familiar," Detective Jenny mused, leaning over to get a closer look. "Like I was briefed on the technology at some point… or perhaps read about it in a book?"

"I guess I've got some explaining to do, huh?" said Axel, of course still being awake through the whole thing. "Do you mind if I tell it from down here? I don't think I'm ready to sit up just yet."

"Just start talking, son," the detective prompted, pulling out a pad of paper. I sighed. I hope you know what you're doing, Axel.

"I suppose the first thing I should explain is why Death… kind of seems to know me," Axel began.

"Which is something you tell people before they decide to travel with you, I might add," Vanna interrupted, though not as angrily as she should have.

"Yeah… sorry, Vanna," Axel apologized. "But anyway, it all began a little bit after I started working at Munson's grocer, when the first killings started." He paused. "It got to me, you know? I couldn't believe that a Pokémon could be taught to do such horrible things. So, using my methods of persuasion, I eventually got Mr. Munson to send me out to make deliveries… conveniently to areas where Death had started attacking people.

That's actually how I met Barnum, Shelligan's first trainer. He was a resident at one of the very first towns I went to. Death was just getting started back then, and his Pokémon… they were just Pokémon. For a while, I was able to just camp out during the night, look for the blue lights, and fight off whatever Pokémon was being sent. It was good training, and while I wasn't stopping Death… I was helping a little, you know?

Then Death stepped up his game, and suddenly I couldn't do anything. The attacks became so fast and random that I could hardly do anything about them. Barnum…" He paused, his voice catching in his throat for a second. "I got there soon enough to actually see the Pokémon that had gotten him. Not that I could do anything about it. I was lucky not to be killed as well.

That's when I decided I needed to find a more permanent solution. A way to not only fend off the Pokémon attacking, but to make sure that they could never attack again once I'd gotten to them." He smiled. "The idea to catch them came instantly, but there were problems with that. After all, the Pokémon technically did belong to Death, which meant that a normal Pokéball wouldn't do a thing to them. Original Trainer ID marks, Security Protocols and whatnot."

"AH!" Detective Jenny blurted out suddenly. "That's where I've seen that thing before! That thing…" he hastily picked up Axel's arm, examining the gauntlet. "It's more modern, highly modified… but this looks similar to an artifact I saw at the Severna Criminal History Museum!" He scratched his chin, thinking. "I want to say… it's a relic from the Orre region?"

"Yeah!" Axel said excitedly, finding the strength to sit up slowly. "I remembered reading about the Cipher crime syndicate in Antebellum History. They used to use these machines called Snaggers to overwrite Trainer Identification Codes and steal Pokémon from other people."

I nodded slowly, recalling the same thing. Antebellum History had been the only class in school that Axel had done better than me in. It had always struck me as odd how excited he got over the subject matter… after all; the Orre dynasty fell over three hundred years ago! Axel probably couldn't tell you what happened in the news last week.

"I knew that a lot of people would think I was a criminal-waiting-to-happen if I talked to them about it," Axel continued, "so I had to find someone who could have a purely objective, scientific opinion on the matter."

"Which is when you started frequenting the lab of Professor Redwood?" Detective Jenny asked.

"Yeah, that's right. By dumb luck, he'd done research on the artifacts years ago, and already had the blueprints for a working model." Axel tapped the gauntlet. "But that's not the only thing we eventually put into this thing. There's a reason it's called the BBUTTON, and not the 'Snagger 2.0'"

"I'm sorry… BBUTTON?" I asked, giving Axel a weird look. "What kind of name is that?"

"It's a Ball Binder Using The Trainer's Own Newtons…" Axel explained. "A BBUTTON. As Death's Pokémon became stronger and stronger, we realized that no normal Pokéball would be able to hold them. So Redwood, being the genius he is, developed a system that allows me to use my own strength to keep the ball from breaking open again." He clenched his fist, the gauntlet clanking as he did so. "As long as I hold it down… as long as I never let go, it'll be caught. Of course, there's always the risk that I'll overestimate my own strength and the thing will suck the life out of me." He smiled. "But that won't happen. I know myself pretty well."

"Well, what do you know… you were right," Detective Jenny admitted. "That is incredibly illegal. If that technology ever got out on the black market…" he whistled. "I don't even want to think of the mop-up work that would entail."

"In my defense, I am just technically beta testing it," Axel said quickly. "It's for science! And it also lets me stop Pokémon from killing people. I guess I should mention that too."

"I don't know…" the Detective grumbled. "On one hand, you did just capture Deathwing with that thing… load off of all of our minds over at the force, on the other hand…" He shook his head. "I can't let that technology just wander around in the hands of some random trainer."

"Oh, please don't arrest him, Mr. Jenny sir!" Vanna cooed. "I'll look after it, I promise! I'll make sure… he doesn't do anything naughty with it." God damn it Vanna, this isn't the time!

"You misunderstand my intentions, ma'am," Detective Jenny blushed. Shame on you detective! You're a married man! "I just want to take him down to the station for a while, promise."

"Noooooo!" Vanna pouted, progressively sounding more and more slu… ahem, forward. "You can't take him now! There's so much I still want to do with him!"

"What?" I yelled.

"What?" Axel asked obliviously.

"I… um… herm…" Detective Jenny squirmed, becoming increasingly flustered. "Look I… if I promise to have him back by tomorrow night, will you let me take him?"

"You mean I'll have to be alone tonight?" Vanna asked, batting her eyebrows.

"You'll have me," I said, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her away. "Axel, go with the nice man. Make sure you get enough sleep, ok? And bring back some Super Potion if you pass by a Poke Mart, all right?"

"Whatever you say, boss," Axel laughed, slowly pushing himself to his feet. "Lead the way, Detective."

"Right this way, son," Officer Jenny replied, offering his arm as support. "You'll be able to rest easier once we get back to… my… car…" He stopped moving suddenly, letting out a heavy sigh.

"We're walking, aren't we?" Axel asked weakly.

"Since back-up apparently never got my transmission… yes. I'm afraid so."

"Carry me?"

"Not a chance, kid."

"Worth a shot."

Author's Note

First things first! Someone asked a question. I am quite pleased. Reader Ghingahn asks:

First off, what gender is Death? You switch between using "he", "she", and "it" to describe...great, now I don't know what to call Death either. Anyways, is Death's gender unknown? If so, could you explain that in the story? It's awfully jarring when you describe Death with multiple pronouns.

… You have no idea how pleased I am that you picked up on that. Plus 500 points for Ghingahn! Better luck next time, everyone else!

There's no way to really explain this in the story in… the foreseeable future, anyway, so I'll answer it here. In person, Death sounds and looks basically like everything. I'd call it an androgynous voice, but it's more than just both male and female; it's as if you were speaking to multiple sexes, races, and species at once. Death unites all, you know. People don't know how to describe it, and it's that confusion that leads to the use of different pronouns in various instances.

Hope that explains it! I believe this chapter was basically dealing with your 'why is this illegal' question, so I didn't bother answering it.

Also! Plus 300 points if you groaned and/or face palmed when you found out the gauntlet was named the BBUTTON. I really can be awful, can't I? A Newton, for those of you who don't know, is the standard unit of force, so the acronym totally works.

Viva la feminism?