Monday, May 23, 2011
After my telephone conference with Dr. Flynn late in the evening yesterday, I'm left feeling much more torn about everything. He didn't offer much aid in the way of things.
"Christian, I'd advise you to take this one day at a time," he'd told me, "Anastasia is obviously stirring some very intense emotions in you, and scary as it is, I'd like you to try and focus on those. Focus on the good things she's bringing out in you, and take it a day at a time. Try not to focus so much on the past or what you worry you might be lacking in. Focus on the here. Focus on the now."
For a therapist, Dr. Flynn doesn't help me very much. But I have to admit, it's nice to have someone to talk to that I don't have to hide anything from. Over the time that I've been paying him for his counsel, we've become friends. Yes, I would consider John Flynn a friend.
Before that, I called the Apple store and purchased the newest MacBook for Miss Steele. It should be arriving this morning.
I glance at my watch. I've just finished up a video chat with the board of WSU. We've gone over the semantics for this Thursday's graduation ceremony. It's nearly twenty after eight, and I imagine it would be set-up by now, and that she would have received the email I typed to her new address, the evening previous…
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Your New Computer
Date: May 22 2011 23:15
To: Anastasia Steele
Dear Miss Steele,
I trust you slept well. I hope that you put this laptop to good use, as discussed.
I look forward to dinner Wednesday.
Happy to answer any questions before then, via email, should you so desire.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
Just as I think this, my laptop 'pings', notifying me of a new email in my inbox. And though it could be anyone, the pace of my heart quickens, exhilaration spiking through my veins like adrenaline.
I navigate to the screen, and yes. It's her. I grin as I open the email.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Your New Computer (on loan)
Date: May 23 2011 08:20
To: Christian Grey
I slept very well, thank you—for some strange reason—Sir. I understood that this computer was on loan, ergo not mine.
Ana
I grin. Sir. Hmm. I like the way that sounds. I take it she's read over the contract then.
I hit 'reply'.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Your New Computer (on loan)
Date: May 23 2011 08:22
To: Anastasia Steele
The computer is on loan. Indefinitely, Miss Steele.
I note from your tone that you have read the documentation I gave you.
Do you have any questions so far?
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
A couple minutes later, a reply comes in.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Inquiring Minds
Date: May 23 2011 08:25
To: Christian Grey
I have many questions, but not suitable for email, and some of us have to work for a living.
I do not want or need a computer indefinitely.
Until later, good day. Sir.
Ana
I grin. Such sass Miss Anastasia Steele has.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Your New Computer (again on loan)
Date: May 23 2011 08:26
To: Anastasia Steele
Laters, baby.
P.S. I work for a living, too.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
Our morning exchange has me in a good mood for the rest of the day. I handle the day ahead rather well. Halfway through, Andrea notes that I seem in higher spirits than usual.
I suppose I am.
I have lunch down the street and return to my hotel room just in time for a meeting involving the budget for the new solar powered cell phone we're working on. This is a project of mine that I'm very invested in, and so it takes up a fair bit of my attention. The meeting runs over and it's three o'clock before I realize I haven't thought of Anastasia Steele for a large chunk of time. My Blackberry buzzes in my pocket, and I pick up without checking the caller ID.
"Grey."
"Christian. How have you been?" It's Elena—and she's her usual calm, collected self.
"Elena," I say, a tad surprised by her call. Usually she emails. "I'm… Well."
"Well." My answer seems to surprise her. She repeats it a little incredulously. "A good business month? It's been nearly three weeks since we've talked."
"I've been… busy. Business is going as normal." Suddenly, I'm eager to talk to her about Anastasia. Maybe she'll know where I'm coming from. "I have a new submissive in line."
"Ah, how exciting."
"She's... different."
"Different?"
I pace to the windows, watch a few cars drive by. I run my hand through my hair, trying to piece together what I want to say about this girl. "I don't know, Elena. She's… making me feel things that I…I don't know. It's all so unfamiliar."
She's quiet for an introspective moment. "Do you have feelings for her?" she broaches the subject gently, quietly, as if she's afraid of my answer.
"No," I'm immediately snapping. "That's not a possibility."
"Christian," she says, and I can hear the smile in her voice, "You can't choose for these kinds of things to happen… they have a way of—sneaking up on you."
"She's never done this before. She… she's weighing her options."
"And you want her to say yes," she assumes aloud.
"Yes," I breathe, "Very badly. But…I also want her to make the right decision for herself. She doesn't… she deserves more than…this. More than me."
"Oh, Christian." She sounds broken hearted.
"Don't start, Elena."
"You're a good man, Christian Grey," she snaps. "I couldn't beat it into you, but maybe this Anastasia will find a way to show you that."
.
Things are slowing down for the day. I find myself wishing she were here. I'd love to have her by my side now. Lust, like a beast, snarls inside me, and I find myself wanting to fuck her. Since when did I become so insatiable?
I send her a quick email.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Working for a Living
Date: May 23 2011 17:24
To: Anastasia Steele
Dear Miss Steele,
I do hope you had a good day at work.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
I know for a fact she gets off work in six minutes.
When 5:30 comes, I check my inbox, though there is no notification. Nothing. Just something from Andrea regarding a function in the coming weeks. I try to distract myself, but all I can see in my head are images of why Anastasia hasn't replied yet. She's been hit by a car on the way home or her vehicle has broken down and someone's snatched her up…
What the fuck? Why am I thinking like this?
I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose between my finger and thumb, forcing myself to calm down. I go to the bar and pour myself a drink. I take a welcome sip, the Bourbon warming my chest as it goes down.
PING.
I go to my laptop, and there is a reply from Miss Steele.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Working for a Living
Date: May 23 2011 17:48
To: Christian Grey
Sir… I had a very good day at work.
Thank you.
Ana
There she goes with the 'sir' thing again, and though it humors me, I get the feeling that she's mocking me. And that won't go over well. She hasn't mentioned any questions yet, and I'm itching to know if she's begun her research. It's already late afternoon Monday, and I know for a fact that she works all day. And while she's working, she won't be able to do any research.
There's limited time before we meet again, and I hope she's well equipped by then to make a decision.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Do the Work!
Date May 23 2011 17:50
To: Anastasia Steele
Miss Steele,
Delighted you had a good day.
While you are emailing, you are not researching.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
Hint, hint.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Nuisance
Date: May 23 2011 17:53
To: Christian Grey
Mr. Grey, stop emailing me, and I can start my assignment.
I'd like another A.
Ana
Well, then. She'd like another A? Such a clever, smart little thing, she is. I find myself grinning at her email.
Fuck! This woman is like a magnet, and I'm the bent and misshapen paper clip, ever drawn to her.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Impatient
Date: May 23 2011 17:55
To: Anastasia Steele
Miss Steele,
Stop emailing me—and do your assignment.
I'd like to award another A.
The first one was so well deserved. ;)
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
Briefly, I allow myself to remember that morning. The sensation of her lips around me, her fearlessness, the way she took me in, farther and farther.
Her reply startles me, the ping making me jump.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Internet Research
Date: May 23 2011 17:59
To: Christian Grey
Mr. Grey,
What would you suggest I put into a search engine?
Ana
All she'll find on Google are pornographic stills and insipid wannabe Dom/sub quotes.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Internet Research
Date: May 23 2011 18:02
To: Anastasia Steele
Miss Steele,
Always start with Wikipedia.
No more emails unless you have questions.
Understood?
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Bossy!
Date: May 23 2011 18:04
To: Christian Grey
Yes… Sir.
You are so bossy.
Ana
I smirk as I type out my reply.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: In Control
Date: May 23 2011 18:06
To: Anastasia Steele
Anastasia, you have no idea.
Well, maybe an inkling now.
Do the work.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
I wait five minutes, and then ten, for a reply.
And despite the fact that she's listened to my orders, and she's most likely doing the research, I've hoped I would get to talk to her a little longer.
I'm grateful when my Blackberry buzzes and I take the call as a welcome distraction.