Disclaimer: The content of this chapter may induce a good amount of face palming. If your face is unable to take an inordinate amount of face palming, you are welcome to private message AMAXING for a brief summary of the events of this chapter if you are so inclined. Otherwise, enjoy.

Legal Disclaimer: I don't own Pocket Monsters?

Chapter 21: A… (sigh)… Rapper

Drop some beats, Magnezone! (MAGNE/NEZONE/ZONEMAG/MAGZONE)

Yeah, that's tight! We gettin' real up in here! (ZONMAG/NEMA/MAGZE/ZONME) Bring it on!

Who's that guy, girl, makes the ladies smile, girl?

Makes you think that everything's all right for a while, girl?

He ain't no liar, he's a testifier

Has an inner fire and his name is Skyler.

Six foot two with a dark blue hairdo

Tangela, Deino, Magnezone up in this crew

'Quit it for a while''s what my partner said

But she can't stop my freestylin' if its up in my head, dig?

"No, I don't dig, and I can still hear you," Lexi groaned. "You remember that talk I had with you earlier about how talking in your head means not moving your mouth?"

Kinda sort might've maybe

Still think that you're crazy, baby

Pray, what able-bodied lady

Wouldn't hear me and go crazy?

"I'm going crazy, all right," she smirked, punching me in the arm as was customary. "And since I've made it abundantly clear that you don't have a shot with me, that can only mean one thing, huh?"

I'm heading into town once more

To shop at yonder grocery store?

"Nice use of yonder… and iambic tetrameter," she laughed, punching my arm again. "And also, nice guess. Though since you do it every Thursday, it's not really a surprise any more, is it?"

I chuckled, ruffling my shaggy hair in an attempt to look cute, and whistled for Dino (my Deino), who came running obediently… right into the wall behind me. Magnezone growled in resignation as per usual, and Tangela just sort of scuffed her red boots on the floor, a bit embarrassed, but not really. We stepped outside, taking in a deep breath of crisp mountain air before heading down the path towards Severna.

All right, so maybe I should explain who I am again, seeing as the first time was… a bit murky, if I'm honest. The name's Skyler, and I work at a research facility due north of Severna, about halfway up Mount Harrow. The hot blonde who was scolding me earlier was my coworker, Lexi, who accompanies me when we have to run errands outside town.

Yeah, I should probably clear that up now: my genius is purely lyrical. Neither Lexi nor I actually do any research in the lab… we're basically grunts. Filing, making deliveries, fundraising… all sorts of odds and ends. I can't complain. It's decent work, and there's usually plenty of time to hang around town, win open mic competitions, battle a few Pokémon here and there. Maybe not what I want to do for the rest of my life, but something I could easily do for a couple more years if I had to.

Though the fact that there aren't a whole lot of words that rhyme with 'Harrow' is a bit discouraging sometimes. The best lick I've been able to come up with is:

I'm a workin' at Mount Harrow

Keeping to the straight and narrow

Cash falls like a rain of arrows

Cart it off in a wheelbarrow

This is, as you could probably hear, not only incredibly lame, but also pretty much untrue. I get by, but not with a whole lot of extra dough. Plus catching arrows with a wheelbarrow just doesn't make any sense, and changing the last line to Pierce my wallet like a sparrow is both nonsensical and suggests cruelty to animals. I mean, what are my other options? Marrow? Tarot? Pharaoh? You see the problem.

I tipped my non-existent hat at the guard on watch, and after checking my ID he let me in without incident. I inhaled deeply, allowing the mixed scents of lemon geraniums, poinsettias, and Northern-style open pit barbeque to fill my nostrils. She didn't know I knew, but Lexi always tried to make sure I'd have a little cash leftover after shopping to get Dino and I some melt-in-your-mouth Midas Touch Ribs. Not only yummy for humans, but also purported to heal 150 HP to any Pokémon who eats them.

Normally, I'd have mulled around near the Museum district for a little while, or checked in at the contest hall, but a stricter curfew had been put in place just a few days back, after the whole Deathwing incident in Oakridge forest. Since the police hadn't let loose any details about what had happened, Severna had been keeping an eye on all incoming trainers recently, trying to see if they could guess who had been the hero who defeated the dragon. No luck, however; though there were rumors that a Treecko with two broken legs had been brought into the Pokémon center. Not that the nurses there would say whom it belonged to.

I returned Dino before heading into the local convenience store (last time I'd tried letting him run loose, he almost knocked down every single shelf. Wasn't exactly good on my wallet). I skimmed the shelves quickly, already knowing exactly where to pick up Magnezone's oil, Dino's chicken, and Lexi's Funions (she's obsessed with those things, I swear. It isn't healthy. And neither are the Funions.)

And then, as I was strolling through the bread isle, deciding between white and whole wheat hamburger rolls, it happened. That moment every man dreams of. I could almost hear my internal monologue begin to narrate as she entered the isle:

There she is. The most beautiful girl you've ever laid eyes on. Alone, not particularly distracted, possibly single, though probably not, I mean look at her. Still, there's no possible way you can let this opportunity pass you by and not regret it forever, so the question stands: what do you do?

She looked around for a minute, making sure there was no one else in the isle, and looked at me, confused. "I'm sorry," she said, moving a few bangs of gorgeous red hair out of her eyes, "were you talking to me? And… do you… expect me to answer that question, or…"

Aw crap! I did it again! What kind of improbable thought-to-speech malfunction is this?

"Sorry about that," I apologized quickly, ruffling the hell out of my hair. "I um… what I meant to say was… hi."

"Hi…" she said, eyeing me warily. "Can I… help you with something?"

"Well, uh…" Quick! You've rehearsed this! Just go into it like we practiced! Nodding in self-assurance, I began:

I like your style, girl

That's some wicked smile, girl

Anything that I can do to hold you for a while, girl?

"Stop right there," she interrupted. "I'm flattered, really, but I'm not planning on staying in town for very long. Plus… that's obviously pre-rehearsed. I heard you say as much." She motioned towards the shelves. "You should pick up whole wheat, by the way. Healthier."

"Wait, wait, wait!" I said, obediently putting the bread into my shopping basket. "Is there any chance you'll change your mind if I do something… more impressive?"

She paused. "Like what?" She asked, almost seeming interested.

"Give me thirty seconds and a name to work with. It'll be worth your time," I smiled.

The look of suspicion/disbelief on her face didn't fade, but incredibly enough she introduced herself. "Amber," she said.

"Huh…" I mused. "A redhead named Amber. There goes any chance of using name-hair color comparison. Not making this easy, huh?"

"So you're giving up?" She asked, almost sounding hopeful.

"Not even," I chuckled, clearing my throat. "Magnezone! The beats, they are restless. Lay them."

MagneZONZON MagnemagneZONZON

This is my preamble

And I don't mean to ramble

But I gamble that this sample

Will make a damn good example

Of my standard acts of amour, Amber

If you'll let me be candid

I could nab you like a bandit

Randomly, but like I planned it

And no one would dare to pan it

Can it, scam it, or examine

Any pandering. The timbre

Of your voice is slammin', Amber

Raise my dander, draw my gander

Force my candor, Loose my damper,

Quick, somebody call for help!

I think I need…

An Amber-lance.

Yeah… I said it.

Cheers from the customers nearby. I smiled, giving a short, yet modest bow. It really does feel good to be absolutely flawless sometimes.

Though, to be perfectly honest, what felt best was the small, light clapping that Amber gave me. "Very impressive," she admitted, nodding. "Though I'm still a bit unconvinced that that was spontaneous. What if I'd been named Brittany?"

Could you sit with me a bit

And hear my litany, sweet Brittany

I…

"Ok, ok, I get it," she laughed. "Not giving up easy, are you?"

"Persistence is my biggest character flaw," I cited from my resume`.

"Which sucks because… well…" She bit her lip. "Don't get me wrong, you seem really nice. But, like I said earlier, I'm really not going to be here for very long. I'm traveling the Gym leader circuit, you see, so I don't expect to stay for more than a few days."

"Whoa, whoa," I said, following her down through the refrigerated section. "Don't sell Goliath Gold short, Amber. Back in the day, he was one of the Elite Four. His Rhydon is supposedly powerful enough to haul a train. A TRAIN! It's the kind of story a guy can right a lyrical epic to."

"I'm assuming you've written a lyrical epic to it?" she asked knowingly.

"See? We already understand each other. The chemistry is clearly organic."

"Getting right back to that, I see…" she shrugged off. "All right, look." She paused, looking me right in the eye. "You're cute. I like you. If I had time, I'd love to give it a whirl. I could see it being a lot of fun, and that's kind of what I need right now."

"Well…" I offered. "If that's what you need right now, why not just give it a whirl and leave it at that?"

"What… you just want to go have dinner, chat for a few hours and… leave it at that? You don't want anything else?"

"Well, of course I want something else, but if you're not staying for long, there's no point." I shrugged. "You got to understand, this is a very earnest feeling on my part; kind of scary, really. I know it doesn't end well for me no matter what, but I can't let you slip away without at least a little quality time, you know?"

She blushed a shade of red that almost matched the deep auburn of her hair. Was this what love felt like? If it was, then I was falling for this chick way too fast, and needed to pull back and think for a minute. Split-second romance does not end well! Remember Romeo and Juliet's death knell! Ooh. I should write that down.

"You can come over for dinner tomorrow," she said softly. "I'll tell Medici to make something extra special, and then maybe afterwards… I don't even know, what is there to do around here?"

"Mountain's a nice place for an after-dinner hike," I suggested. "If you're up for it, of course."

She scoffed playfully. "Challenge accepted, uh… um, oh." She blushed again. My heart skipped a beat. "I never actually got your name, did I?"

"Skyler Blue," I said with a salute. "Supposedly related to the legendary Blue from way back when but… nobody really has accurate family trees that far back, now do they?"

"All right," she smiled. "I'll see you then at around… 6:00? We'll be cooking over in the Edgewood camping site."

"Great! See you then!" I said, waving as she walked away, clearly a little embarrassed. I waited until she was out of sight and then pumped my fist into the air triumphantly.

This is the best day ever! I thought. Out loud. Loud enough to frighten a nearby shopper. I smacked myself in the head. I really need to stop doing that.

Amber

Believe it or not, nothing like this had ever happened to me before. Sure, I'd gone out with a few guys in Pembrook, but to be approached so… suddenly, earnestly… I'm not entirely sure how to feel right now.

Flattered? Well, of course I am. Being called the most beautiful girl someone's laid eyes on will do that. Oh dear… what should I wear? Do I even have anything nice with me? I… oh God. Vanna's going to have a field day with this.

All right, Amber, just act natural. If you can't get the red out of your face, you can just say you decided to jog back. Yes, that's reasonable. Want to make sure I stay in shape, what with all the high-class meals Medici's been cooking lately. Assuring myself that I was acting normal, I walked into Edgewood camp grounds, where Vanna and Axel were spending some time training before finding a hotel.

"So who's the guy?" Vanna asked immediately. "Was he cute?"

How did… I sighed. "Never you mind," I said quickly. "Any progress?"

"See for yourself," Vanna said, pointing over to the section of woods Axel was training in. Gauntlet in hand, he threw Deathwing's Pokéball to the ground, the murderous Skarmory bursting out in a furious red light show. It Screeched at Axel, who immediately slammed the Pokéball onto the bird, forcing it back inside mere seconds after it had been released.

"It's been two and half hours now," Vanna noted "And that's not including all the time he spent yesterday doing this. What does he think is going to happen?"

"He thinks that he's going to be able to cure it," Medici observed. "Ridiculous, right? It's pure evil, like trying to rehabilitate a zombie. There's just no point."

"You're probably right," I admitted, seeing Axel summon and return the Skarmory yet again. "Still… give him time. It does look he knows what he's doing, doesn't it?"

"It always looks like he knows what he's doing," Vanna commented. "You of all people know how untrue that usually is."

"Yeah…" I nodded slowly, turning to Medici. "By the way, I needed to ask you something…"

"I've already gathered the extra ingredients, don't you worry," Medici assured me.

"Ok, I can see Vanna knowing, but how did you know what I thinking?" I asked, a bit too loudly.

"I… can read minds. You do remember that, right? Because of the whole 'I'm not human' thing?" Medici floated upwards to my eye level, looking mockingly worried about my sanity. "In fact, I'm a bit surprised you accept Vanna knowing about it in advance, seeing as she can't."

"He's got a point, Amber," Vanna nodded, clearly enjoying toying with me.

Normally, I wouldn't put up with this, or at the very least I'd cut them down to size. But… damn it, I just feel too good to be angry today.

Author's Note

First off, question time! This one comes from reader adventurerXD:

Are Death's Pokémon normal Pokémon that he took over/stole/raised/whatever evil villains feel like doing these days, or is he using Shadow Pokémon, like Cipher?

Good question! Plus 453 points! What are Death's Pokémon? That is a… good… question…

Basically, I can't tell you right now. You have inadvertently asked a question that would cause spoilers! It's ok! I know you didn't mean to! Just think of them as corrupted for now. It's true enough.

To make up for mentioning your question but not answering it, though, I'll answer another question that hasn't been asked yet! In a new segment I like to call:

Ramblings of a Veteran Pokémon Master

The specific question is one I'm sure you've thought about. Maybe.

Thematically, why did you decide to make all Death-related eyes glow blue? Why not red, green, purple, or another more traditionally evil color?

Well, sexy question asker, it all stems back to the time when Pokémon was young. One of the first episodes of the very first season of Pokémon was called 'Electric Soldier Porygon'. It is more commonly referred to today as 'That One Pokémon Episode That Gave A Bunch Of Kids Seizures.' It was a big deal back when I was first getting into Pokémon at… good God, was I really six back then? Oy. Some schools wouldn't allow Pokemon because of what happened. Crazy times.

But anyway, the event in the episode that caused the seizures was a sequence where Pikachu's eyes flashed a multitude of colors. The most prominent of which was, you guessed it, a pale, sickly blue. One of the kids who had a seizure was quoted saying: "the last thing I remember was Pikachu's light blue eyes burning in my retinas and in my soul, and then all turned to blackness". All right, they didn't say exactly that because a) the kid was about ten and wouldn't have said it so eloquently and b) the episode was only aired in Japan and therefore the quote would have been in an entirely different language, but the sentiment was there.

Long story short, the story has more symbolism then you might think? Plus 1000 points to the first person who can guess the origin of Axel's name!

Viva la feminism?