Christian's POV
Ana's been in a coma for ten days now. For ten days I have spent my time between the hospital at her bedside and at home with my kids. My parents have been a godsend, spending time with Ana when I need to be with my kids. I don't want her to be alone. Carla and Scott have also flown in to be with Ana. I offered them a room at the house so that they can spend time with the kids, but they insisted on staying at a hotel close to the hospital. I'm flipping the bill of course. I insisted.
Somehow I've managed to hold it together, but it is getting more and more difficult each day. I was able to take the babies home, and I had to do it without Ana. That was very difficult, but my family was there to support me. Mia, Ethan and their kids have been spending a lot of time at the house, which I'm extremely grateful for. Caring for two newborns is a lot of work. I sleep at the hospital next to Ana's bedside and then spend a few hours with her in the morning. Then my parents and Carla and Scott take turns spending time with her during the day. Teddy, Phoebe, Kate and Elliot have also been to see Ana every day.
When I'm at home, I make the most of it by taking care of the babies and doing my best to include Natalie. That's been very difficult since she wants to help, but she's too little to care for the babies. She wants to hold them, feed them and burp them, but I keep having to say no. That makes her angry and she's even started acting out. She's punched at my legs, thrown her toys and tantrumed a few times. Looking back I wished I'd handled things better with her over the past few days. I've reacted to her behavior and yelled at her a few times, swatted her and had her sit in time out each time she acted out. It doesn't help that I've been sleep deprived and on this emotional roller coaster. I don't know if Ana will wake up. And if she does, will she be the same Ana?
Right now I am riding in back of the R8. Taylor is driving me home to be with my kids. I look out the window and see people smiling and laughing as they carry shopping bags. Christmas is in a few days. How the fuck am I supposed to do Christmas without Ana? Sure we've finished decorating and shopping well before the babies were born, but I don't know how I am supposed to get through it. I run both hands through my hair as it starts to sink in. Ana, please wake up.
When I walk through the door I expect Natalie to come running for a hug, but she doesn't. She usually greets me that way when I arrive home. I walk into the main room and find Mia and Ethan feeding the babies. Natalie and Sophia are playing quietly on the floor in the corner with their Disney Princess dolls.
Mia smiles at me warmly. "You look exhausted." She's right. I feel dead on my feet. I walk over to the sofa and sit and watch as they feed and burp the babies. If I had the energy, I would take one of the babies and finish the feeding, but I decide to allow as much help as they will offer. "Did you get any sleep last night?"
I rub my eyes as I answer. "Some. A couple hours maybe. How are things here?"
"They're good" she says to me softly. Everyone has been great about using soft voices around the babies. I look over at the girls and can't believe how quiet and well behaved they are being. They play nice together for the most part, but there is always a point where one or both grow tired of sharing toys.
"Elizabeth and Christopher?" I ask them when I notice that my niece and nephew aren't here.
"They wanted to stay home today. Leticia is looking after them."
I start to feel guilty. Mia and Ethan have been spending so much time here. Mia has been staying overnight for the babies. They have three of their own kids to look after. "Are you sure this is okay? You coming over here every day and staying every night?"
"Christian, its fine. We insist, right Honey?" She looks over at Ethan who has been making funny faces at Montgomery.
"Of course. Anything for family, right?"
I can't help but chuckle. I'm usually the one helping my family, financially or otherwise. It's so strange to be on the receiving end of it. "I hope you know how grateful I am for everything you're doing. For me and my kids."
Mia lifts Madeline and starts to burp her. "Speaking of your kids, I know you don't want to hear this. But Christmas is in a few days."
"Yes, I am aware."
"You might want to consider sleeping here and waking up with your kids Christmas morning. I think you'll regret it if you don't." I know I'm frowning, but I can't help it. I know she's right, but the thought of leaving Ana alone…
"I need to go potty" Natalie says as she walks past Mia.
"Okay Sweetheart."
She walks past me as well but then she turns around. "Daddy, will you help me?"
How can I resist? She doesn't really need help unless she poops. She has a small potty in the bathroom that she can use, but when someone helps her she can sit on her seat on the toilet. I stand and follow her into the bathroom.
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Mia and Ethan stayed for a few hours so that I could nap. When I wake up I feel somewhat better, but sad all the same. Ana still isn't awake. I check in with the hospital every hour that I'm not there to see if there has been any change.
Teddy and Phoebe are on their way over right now to visit with her. I know this has been just as difficult for them. I have no idea how to help them with this. I barely get to spend time with them as they are usually on their way out when I arrive home. They've been a lot of help with Natalie and the babies. I still think they are too young to be caring for the babies, but they've been determined to prove me wrong. They even change diapers, which amazes me.
I walk into the main room to find Natalie asleep on the sofa. She usually takes her naps during the day in her bedroom, but I decide to let her be. I take this opportunity to sit with her while its quiet and check in with Ros. She's been handling everything at GEH since the week before the babies were born. She's the only one I trust with my business. She lets me know that everything is in order but she doesn't give me details. That's how much I trust her. I know that she is telling me the truth so I don't need to hear the details.
I tuck my blackberry away and notice Natalie stirring. Before she is fully awake I gently lift her and hold her in my lap. I miss her even though I see her every day. I've had to split my time with her and the babies since they need a lot of attention. Right now they are asleep. They both had a bottle right before Mia and Ethan left so I know they will be asleep for another hour.
"Daddy" she says sleepily.
"Hi Sweet Pea."
"Is Mommy still sweeping?"
This is so hard. She understands that Ana is sleeping, but I'm sure she is confused as to why she's been sleeping for so long. I know she misses her.
"Daddy?"
She looks up at me with her gray eyes. She is now more awake. I let out a sigh. "Yes, Baby. Mommy's still sleeping."
"When will she be done sweeping?"
"I don't know. I guess when she's not tired anymore."
She nods and cuddles to me. I hold her tighter and try to allow myself to be comforted by my baby girl. My kids are the only reason I am not losing it right now. Without them I don't know where I would be.
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When the babies are awake I get right to work. I change both of them while Gail warms their bottles. Natalie has a frown on her face as she watches. I know she wants to help, but she can't help with feeding or changing the babies. I come up with an idea once both babies are fed and burped. I lay out a few blankets on the floor and place Madeline down on them. Montgomery stays cradled in Gail's arms. He fusses when someone isn't holding him, but Madeline is content either way.
I let Natalie know that she can only touch her hands and feet. She does as she's told and enjoys spending this time with her baby sister. Madeline seems to be enjoying herself as well. She's kicking her legs and moving her arms around.
"She likes you" I tell her. "Do you want to sing one of your songs to her?" She nods and starts singing "Twinkle Twinkle". She goes to touch her head and I stop her. "No, Baby. Remember hands and feet only."
"I just want to feel ha head."
"No, Natalie. You can't touch her head. It's very sensitive right now. Hands and feet only."
She frowns and moves away from us. She walks over and sits with her toys, and pouts as she picks up her doll and hugs it. I don't mean to hurt her feelings, but I need to be careful when she's around the babies. Madeline continues to kick her legs and move her arms around. I decide to pick her up and hold her, which makes Natalie even more upset. She throws her doll and proceeds to throw some of her other toys. This is becoming a daily occurrence. Anytime she sees me care for the babies, she has a tantrum. I strap Madeline into her baby swing and make sure Gail is okay to watch the babies for a few minutes. When I try to pick Natalie up she tries to avoid me, but I wind up cradling her and picking her up as she fights me.
"Mr Grey, if I may?" Gail interrupts me.
"What is it Gail?" I don't mean to sound annoyed, but I'm starting to lose my patience. Natalie is struggling to get out of my arms.
"This is hard for her" she says softly as Montgomery has fallen asleep in her arms. "She misses Ana too, and she's probably jealous of how much attention the babies are getting. Please go easy on her."
I nod and leave her with the babies. As I carry Natalie out of the room I think of Gail's words and I'm reminded of how I felt earlier about the way I've been dealing with Natalie. I need to handle this differently. No yelling at her. No swatting her. Obviously that is not helping. When we are in her bedroom she is still struggling in my arms, but I manage to remain calm. I sit on the glider and have her sit on the ottoman in front of me.
"It's okay, Baby. Let's settle down" I say to her softly. She is crying, probably because she thinks I'm going to punish her. I decide that I can't do that right now. Gail is right. Natalie has no idea what is happening with her mother. And she has no idea how to control her emotions when it comes to having to share attention with the babies.
"It's okay, Baby" I say again as I wipe her tears and stroke her hair. "Can you tell Daddy why you're upset?" She shakes her head and continues to cry. "Please?" That does nothing to change her mind, so I pull her into my lap and hold her. She doesn't struggle this time, I guess because I have managed to calm myself. After a few minute I look up and see Teddy at the door.
"Is everything alright, Dad?" I nod but Natalie doesn't seem to agree. She leans away from me and reaches her arms out for Teddy to pick her up. He walks over to us and does just that. I lean back in the glider and let out a long sigh as I watch him with her. "What's wrong, Munchkin?" he asks her, but he doesn't get an answer. He looks to me for answers.
"She got upset when she saw me holding Madeline." He nods and paces the room with Natalie. "How are you, Son?"
"I'm okay. We've just been to see Mom. Aunt Kate and Uncle Elliot are there right now."
"I'm glad that you and your sister go to see her every day. I know that's not easy."
He shrugs it off. "I can't not go to see her. I just wish there was something I could do for her."
I manage to smile at him lightly. "You're doing it. You've stepped up and you've been helping with your sisters and your brother. I'm really proud of you. I know she will be too."
He smiles back. "Thanks Dad." He gets Natalie to look at him. "Hey Munchkin. Daddy really wants to talk to you. But I can stay if you want." She nods at him and allows him to put her in my lap. I adjust her so that I can see her face.
"Okay. You know that you shouldn't throw your toys around, right?" She frowns and nods at me. "Can you answer me properly?"
"Yes" she says softly.
"Can you tell me why you did that?" She looks down and continues to frown. I gently place my fingers under her chin and get her to look up at me again. "Look at my face. I'm not mad, okay? I just want to know why you threw your toys."
"You not wook mad when you swat me." She looks down again and starts to kick her legs.
"You're right. You know I only swat you when you do something wrong, not because I'm mad. And throwing toys is wrong. But I'm not going to swat you right now. I think you threw your toys because you were upset with something that I did." She nods her head and continues to look down. "Natalie, please look at my face." She looks up and has such a sad look on her face. It kills me to see her so unhappy. "Daddy loves you very much. I love holding you and hugging you, but I also love Maddie and Monte. Right now they are so little, and they need a lot of holding." This does nothing to placate her. "I know you want to help with them. And I'm sorry that I keep saying no." I gently stroke her hair again. "I promise I don't say no to be mean. When they are older, they are going to need a lot of help from you. Do you think you can help them when they are older?"
She looks up at me and nods her head, but she doesn't smile.
"I can get her ready for bed for you?" Teddy offers, but I turn him down.
"Thanks, but I want to do it. I need to. Do you think you can help Gail out with the babies until Aunt Mia gets here?"
"Of course." I smile at my son. He has grown up so much since going to college. Most kids on winter break would be out every day with their friends, but Teddy has been here helping with Natalie and the babies.
"Thanks, and Teddy?" He turns around and looks at me as I stand with Natalie in my arms. "Thank you, for everything that you're doing. But you really need to take that girlfriend of yours out to dinner. Tomorrow night is on me. Anywhere you want to take her."
"Thanks Dad."
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Its Christmas morning, and Ana is still in the coma. I took Mia's advice and slept at home last night, but I didn't sleep in our bed. It didn't feel right without Ana. I slept on the sofa that we keep in our bedroom while the babies slept in their bassinets. Mia has been sleeping over every night in one of the guest rooms to care for the babies, but I couldn't let that happen last night. It wouldn't have been fair to her, Ethan or their kids. And she was right. I needed to be here for my kids. I look at my clock and it is just going on seven. I need to get up and make sure everything is in order down stairs before the kids are up.
I bring both babies down stairs with me. They are still sleeping after being fed two hours ago. In about an hour they'll be awake again so I need to be ready. Lucky for me, Taylor and Gail have insisted on spending Christmas here with us. Gail is already in the kitchen setting up breakfast. How I've managed to keep this wonderful woman on my staff, I'll never know. I'm sure she's still here more for Ana and the kids than me, but as long as she's here I'm not going to complain.
"Good morning, Gail."
"Good morning, Mr Grey. Merry Christmas. The kids wanted pancakes for breakfast."
"Sounds great, thank you. They haven't been down yet have they?"
She lets out a light chuckle. "No, Sir. I asked them last night what they would like. I'll put the coffee on."
I settle the babies in the main room and check the presents around the tree to make sure everything is where it should be. I set everything up really late last night so it doesn't hurt to double check. There are a few unwrapped presents for Natalie that are from Santa, including a new Disney Princess bike with training wheels. I know she is going to love this. I just wish Ana could be here to see her face when she sees the bike. I can already feel the tears forming as I stare at the bike. Ana was so excited when we picked this out a few months ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. As soon as she saw the bike she knew it was the one. We were able to get a special seat and basket for it. I shake my head and collect myself. I can't do this today. I need to be here for my kids. They deserve to enjoy their Christmas.
The kids come down in their Christmas pajamas while Gail takes video. I know that Teddy and Phoebe would rather not have their Christmas mornings on video anymore, but they play along for Natalie. She is so excited. The bike is the first thing she sees and she immediately rushes over and asks Teddy to help her sit on it. He lifts her and adjusts her hands and feet so that she is positioned correctly on the bike. He also puts her helmet on, which is also pink with Disney Princesses. We take a few pictures and show her how to ride it in the hall toward the foyer. She squeals with excitement.
The babies start to cry while we are handing out presents. Gail has already warmed their bottles and offers to feed Montgomery. Teddy offers to feed Madeline so that I can help Natalie with presents. Taylor takes a seat next to Gail and wraps his arm around her. I don't understand why they never had children together. They would have been great parents. They are certainly great with Sophie and my kids.
Natalie is having a great time with her gifts, taking time to enjoy each before moving onto the next one. I hand a present to Phoebe that is from Ana and me. She stares at it for a few minutes before she stands and rushes out of the room. I start to stand up but Teddy says that he will go. He hands Madeline over to Taylor and rushes after her.
After a few minutes I decide to follow my kids into the kitchen. I need to know what's going on. When I walk in I am surprised with what I hear.
"Phoebe, you need to stop this" Teddy says to her. He is standing in front of her with his hands on her shoulders and she is crying.
"I'm sorry, I can't help it. This isn't right. Mom should be here."
"What's going on?" I ask as I make my presence known. I slowly walk over to my kids.
"Everything's fine" Teddy says as he wraps an arm around Phoebe.
I look at Phoebe and I know that everything is not fine. "Teddy, can you go and help Natalie with her presents?" He looks at Phoebe for a moment. "It's alright, Teddy, go." I wait until he leaves before speaking. "What's this about?"
"Nothing. Like Teddy said, everything's fine."
"Then why are you crying?"
This sets her off. Phoebe has never been able to hide her emotions. I pull her toward me and hold her tight as she cries into my chest. I rub my hand up and down her back to soothe her. It's been a while since I've done this. In fact, I haven't been any comfort to her since her mother slipped into the coma. I can be such a shitty father sometimes. I've seen her every day. I've made a point to at least eat dinner with my kids, but we haven't talked about anything real, like how they are coping.
"I'm so sorry" I say to her softly. I can tell she's confused by this. She pulls out of my embrace.
"What?"
"I'm sorry. I haven't really been there for you. I need to change that." She shakes her head and wipes her nose with the back of her hand. "Talk to me." She shakes her head again. "Why not?"
She closes her eyes and I can tell she is trying not to cry. "You have a lot going on."
"Don't worry about me. I'm worried about you. Please tell me what's going on." She is still silent. Why won't she talk to me? "Peanut?"
She closes her eyes. "Teddy….. said we should be strong…. for you. You need us, Dad. The last thing you need is to worry about us."
I gently rest my hands on her shoulders. "Teddy has been great, but he's wrong, okay? I never want you to hide your feelings from me, even if you think it is protecting me." She nods as more tears spring out of her eyes. "Okay?" She squeezes her eyes shut and nods. "Good. Now can you tell me what this is about?"
She nods again. I think she is trying to calm down but it isn't working. "I miss Mom." I pull her into a hug again and kiss her head. "I don't like having Christmas without her. I'm sorry Dad."
"No, don't be sorry. I don't feel right about it either, but I think your Mom would be upset with us for skipping Christmas."
She pulls out of the hug again and looks up at me. "I don't want to go to Bellevue. Can we go see Mom instead?"
I manage to smile and run my fingers through her hair. "I think that's a great idea."
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I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. We had planned to go to Bellevue to celebrate Christmas with the Greys because that's what we do every year. But Ana wouldn't be there with us. It isn't Christmas without Ana. I know she is in a coma, but my kids and I have agreed that we want to be with her. My mother sounded upset when I broke the news to her over the phone that we wouldn't be coming over, but she understood that we needed to do this.
I have arranged for us to have a room at the hospital where we could bring the rest of our presents and open them with Ana. They have brought her hospital bed in with all of the necessary equipment. There are sofas, tables and a television, and plenty of space for us to spread out and relax for the day. Collins is here as our security detail. His wife works at this hospital and was called in, so he insisted on being here. Taylor and Gail came here with us, but I have sent them off to have dinner at the best restaurant in Seattle. We will have dinner brought in a little later. Right now we are sitting around and taking turns opening presents.
Teddy and Phoebe seem more relaxed since coming here. Natalie is enjoying herself and occasionally goes over to Ana to give her a kiss. I haven't been bringing her here because I wasn't sure how she would react. Maybe that was a mistake. She seems happier than she's been in the past couple of days. I'm not sure if it's because it's Christmas or because we are here with Ana. She doesn't react badly when I hold and feed the babies, which is a nice change.
Once both babies are asleep we are visited by Sawyer, Brooke and their son Lucas. They invite the kids to go to pediatrics with them and hand out presents to the children. I encourage my kids to go. I think it would be good for them, and I'd also like to have some time alone with Ana.
I place a chair next to Ana's bed and take a seat, taking her hand in mine. "Hi Baby. I don't know how I'm doing this, but I am. This whole Christmas thing….. its not the same without you. That's why we're here. I hope you don't mind, but we just couldn't bear to have Christmas without you. It's your favorite holiday, and you've always found ways to make it special every year. I didn't like Christmas until you came into my life. And every year since then I've looked forward to it. This year… its been hard. Its hard without you, Ana. I need you. The kids need you. You're going to have to wake up soon because I'm not sure how much longer I can….."
I can't believe it. I look at her hand in mine and then I look at her face, which brings my eyes right back to her hand. "Ana?"
I bring my other hand up and gently massage her wrist, hoping that she does it again. "Anastasia" I say softly, hoping that I am not imagining this. I look at her hand again and I don't just feel it, I see it. Her hand is moving. I let out a nervous chuckle. "Ana, Baby. I'm here. Open your eyes."
After a few seconds her eyes flutter open. I know I'm crying now but I can't help it. She's doing it. She's coming back to me. "Ana?"
I stand and sit on her bed so that she can see me. Her eyes are open now and she is looking at me. "Ana, can you see me?"
She nods, and slowly a small smile forms on her face. "Christian." She closes her eyes and swallows. Her voice is raspy. It probably hurts for her to talk. I scramble to find some water. When I do, I gently position the bottle at her lips and help her take sips. I hope this is okay. Maybe I should have checked with a doctor first. "Christian" she says my name again, and it sounds like heaven.
"Hi Baby" I say to her as I take her hand in both of mine. "Are you okay?"
She looks around and I can tell she's confused. "Where am I?"
"We're in the hospital. But everything's okay now." I run my hand through her hair and try to comfort her. I don't want her to be scared. "I should get a doctor to check you over."
"Wait" she tightens her grip on my hand. "Tell me what happened." Before I can say anything, Madeline starts to cry. "Oh, Natalie needs to be fed. Could you bring her to me?"
What? "What?"
"Natalie's crying. She's probably hungry. Could you bring her to me?"
I look over at the babies and then at Ana. Did she just stay Natalie?"
"Christian!"
"Um, it's okay. We've been bottle feeding her. I'll get it ready."
I open the door and tell a nurse to get the doctor. Ana doesn't see me as her bed is facing the other way. She needs to be checked over. I'm not sure if she's confused or if her memory has been compromised. I run my hand through my hair as I try to remember where we packed the bottles and nipples. Madeline is still crying, and pretty soon Montgomery will be awake and crying.
The doctor walks in and talks to Ana as I scramble to get the bottle ready and listen over our crying daughter. He checks her over and asks her questions, but I can't quite hear her answers. As soon as I have the bottle ready I scoop Madeline up and start to feed her. Finally it is quiet and I can hear their exchange.
"You've been in a coma" the doctor tells her. Way to break the news, Doc.
"How…. how long?"
"Two weeks."
I know Ana is crying. I slowly approach her and sit in the chair next to her bed. She looks over at me and then eyes our daughter. She has tears in her eyes. "That's our daughter" she chokes out.
"This is Madeline. Doc, is she strong enough to hold her?"
"That will be fine, as long as you are next to her for support."
I stand and carefully arrange our daughter in Ana's arms, being careful to keep the bottle in her mouth. Ana takes hold of the bottle while I support her. The doctor gathers some pillows and puts them under Ana's arms for more support. I am able to let go and take in the site of my wife and baby girl. This is her first time holding her. I ask the doctor to stay by her side while I find the camera. I need to take pictures.
"Christian, I'm sure I look hideous."
"Not possible" I say as I snap some pictures. Ana smiles beautifully at me and then at our baby girl. When she is finished her bottle I take her and hold her against my chest to burp her. The doctor excuses himself but gives me his pager number in case we need him for anything.
"Is she okay?" she asks me. "You know, the birth?"
"She's perfect, Ana." I sit in the chair as I continue to burp Madeline. "And so is her brother."
She gets teary again. "A boy?"
I look behind me and then back at Ana again. "That's right. We have a boy and a girl. Montgomery, he's asleep. When he wakes up you can meet him too."
"Madeline and Montgomery."
Madeline lets out a loud burp, and we can't help but laugh. I stand again and put Madeline back in Ana's arms. "Montgomery Carrick and Madeline Ariel."
"What clever names, Mr Grey. How did you come up with them?"
"The kids named them. I hope you don't mind. They had been told that you were in a coma, and I wanted to give them something positive."
I look down at my hands in my lap, willing myself not to cry. A miracle has happened. My babies are healthy and my wife is awake. Why the fuck would I start crying now?
"Hey?" she says to get my attention. "I like the names. I think it's perfect that you had our kids name them. I'm assuming Natalie came up with the name Ariel?"
I let out a chuckle. "That she did. Oh Ana, we've missed you so much."
She smiles and shakes her head. "I'm sorry."
I stand and sit on her bed again. "You have nothing to be sorry about. Look at what you went through to bring our babies into the world?" She looks at Madeline again and nods. "But, no more. I think we can agree that we have our hands full with our broad."
This makes her laugh. "You've got that right. I think enough's enough when we starting bringing them in two at a time. Oh Christian, I want to meet my baby boy. Is he awake yet?"
Right on queue he starts to cry. "As a matter of fact, he is. Let me take her." I lift Madeline out of Ana's reluctant arms and place her into her baby seat. Next I take Montgomery and place him in Ana's arms.
"Christian, he's beautiful" she says over his cries. I quickly prepare the bottle and bring it to her.
"Sure you're up to this?" She just woke from a two week coma. I don't want her to push it.
"Christian, give me the bottle." I do as she says and take some more pictures.
Once I'm sure that Ana is settled, I take Madeline and change her. I realize that I'm smiling, and my baby girl smiles right back at me. It's a joy to see. I'm sure this is the first time she's seen me smile. Montgomery needs to be burped, so I strap Madeline into her swing. I'm grateful that we brought this along, and so is she. She seems to enjoy her swing. I walk back over to Ana and watch as she continues to feed our son. "I've waited so long to see that smile on your face" I say to her.
"Smiling looks good on you too. Uh, I think he's ready to be burped." I take him from Ana and it doesn't take long for him to burp. Once I know he's done I place him back in Ana's arms.
"He likes to be held. He fusses anytime someone isn't holding him."
"I can't believe I missed two weeks of their lives. Are you sure they're okay?"
I reach up and dry her tears with my thumb. "I promise, they're okay. They spent a few nights here in NICU as a precaution and then I took them home. I've been here with you every night. Carla, Scott and my parents have been here every day. So have our kids, Kate and Elliot. Mia and Ethan have been a huge help with the kids."
"Our family is amazing."
"That they are."
"Where are the kids?" It suddenly occurs to me that Ana probably has no idea what day it is. I look over at the presents. She can't see them since the bed is facing the other way. "Christian?"
"Ana, Baby there's something I need to tell you."
"What is it? Are the kids okay?"
"Yeah, they're great. I'm sorry I didn't mean to worry you. It's just….. today is Christmas."
"Oh"
"Don't be upset, please. That's why we're all here together. We wanted to be here with you, even if you were still in the coma."
She looks up from our son with tears in her eyes. "And that's why you're dressed up. Well, where are they? Can I see them?"
"Of course you can. They are down in pediatrics handing out presents to kids. They should be back soon and we're going to have dinner. We need to find out from the doctor what you can eat."
She snorts. "I can't believe this. I was in a coma. But I feel fine. I really do."
"That's great, Baby. But your body needs to recover. We need to take it easy and follow doctor's orders." I can't believe it either. I woke up this morning dreading the holiday. But now I am here with my wife, my love, and she is awake. I shake my head and stand to plant a long overdue kiss on her lips. She kisses me back, but then she pulls away. "What is it?"
"Well, I'm sure I have dragon's breath. When's the last time I was able to brush my teeth?"
I can't help but laugh. "You think I care? I'm just glad to have you back."
"If it's all the same to you, I'd like to clean up before the kids get back. Will you help me?"
"Of course, Mrs Grey."
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
I am able to help Ana get cleaned up and changed into her own pajamas that we've kept here for her. I've asked Collins to keep the kids down in pediatrics for a bit. I let him know that Ana is awake but I told him not to tell the kids. He is to stall them, telling them that the doctor is in to see Ana and needs some time to check her over. I want the kids to be surprised when they come back and see their mother awake.
The babies are asleep again so we've been quiet, only talking in soft whispers. I am sitting on the bed behind her brushing her hair. I've asked her a few times if she's feeling okay. I think I'm getting on her nerves with it but I don't care. I need to make sure she isn't pushing herself. I also need to ask her about earlier.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"When you first woke up and heard the baby crying, you thought it was Natalie."
She is silent for a moment, but I continue to brush her hair anyway.
"That's not a question."
"I guess I need to know if you have forgotten….. that you were having the twins." She reaches her arms back and stops me from brushing her hair. I take that as a sign and move so that I am sitting in front of her. "What's the last thing you remember?"
She thinks it over for a moment. "I remember getting ready for Christmas. We bought all of the gifts early and wrapped them while Phoebe was in Cambridge with Teddy. I remember we had a birthday party for Natalie."
"Anything after that?"
"No. Did something happen at the party?"
I take her hand and run my thumb over her knuckles. "You were in pain. You were having contractions so we came here. That night you had an emergency C-Section."
"And then I went into the coma."
"That's right."
We are silent for a moment while she lets it sink in. "So Natalie and the twins have the same birthday?"
I can't help but snort. "Yeah, that's not going to go over well. We'll need to make a big deal for Natalie every year so she doesn't feel left out."
"How has she been?"
"She's having a hard time sharing the attention. But we are going off topic here. Is your memory alright?"
She takes both of my hands in hers. "My memory is fine. I'm sorry if I scared you." I lean in and kiss her lips. "Can you finish brushing my hair?"
"Of course." I stand and sit behind her again, gently taking her hair into my hand. "I've missed this. Taking care of you." I lean in and kiss her hair. I can't wait to wash it for her again. I can't wait to do a lot of things with her. But I'll need to restrain myself. No sex for a while, that's for sure. Her body has been through so much and she needs to heal.
"You spoil me, Mr Grey."
"I live for it."
The nurse peaks in and lets us know that the kids are on their way back. I help Ana get comfortable on the bed. She is sitting up with pillows on either side of her. "I'm nervous" she tells me.
"Don't be. I'm right here with you."
Teddy and Phoebe are the first to walk in. I can't help the smile that grows on my face. They notice right away and find it suspicious.
"Dad, what is it?" Teddy asks.
"I have a surprise for you." I walk them over to the bed and the shock in their faces is evident. They were definitely not expecting this.
"Mom" Phoebe cries out. She is frozen in her spot, while Teddy approaches the bed and carefully hugs his mother.
"Mom, you're awake."
I can tell that Phoebe doesn't know what to do with herself. I wrap my arms around her from behind to offer comfort. "Its okay, Phoebe. Your mother's awake. Go and give her a hug."
Teddy leaves go of Ana and she holds her arms out for Phoebe. "Come here Baby"
Phoebe tearfully obeys and cries in her mother's arms. Teddy is there to comfort her as well. This has been so hard on the kids, and I haven't acknowledged that until this morning when Phoebe was crying in the kitchen. I should have been more supportive. I decide to give them some time while I check on the babies and Natalie. Natalie fell asleep before they were ready to leave pediatrics. I take her from Collins and hold her in my arms. I ask him to get the doctor so that we can find out what Ana is allowed to eat.
"Where's Natalie" I hear Ana ask. I decide it's time to bring her to Ana even though she is sleeping. Teddy and Phoebe move to the other side of the bed so that Ana can see her. She gasps. "Look at her." Natalie is wearing a dark green velvet dress with white cotton trim, white tights and black shiny patent leather shoes. "Mia?" she asks.
"Yes" I snort.
"Aunt Mia took us shopping and insisted we pick out clothes to wear on Christmas" Phoebe says.
"We weren't going to get dressed up today, but Natalie really wanted to. So we all did" I tell her.
"Well you all look so beautiful. Christian, lay her down next to me."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I've been away from her for too long. I need her close to me."
I do as she says and gently lay Natalie next to her so that she is resting her head on Ana. She doesn't wake up. "It will probably be some time before she wakes up."
"That's okay. I'll wait."
While Natalie is sleeping we invite Collins and his wife in to see Ana. The doctor also comes in to discuss what Ana can eat. He wants her to start out small with soup, crackers and bread, but she can have a little bit of pasta as long as she doesn't overdue it. It's rare for Ana to smile at the mention of food. She must be really hungry.
Once the dinner order is sorted out, we relax and have light conversation while we wait for it to be delivered. We decide to wait until after dinner to call our family with the news. If they knew, they would be rushing to the hospital to see Ana. Right now we just want to relax with the seven of us. I also don't want Ana to be overwhelmed with everyone coming here at once. I'm surprised that she's handled herself so well. But then again, Ana has always been so strong. She's handled me quite well over the years.
We are talking and even laughing about things. I don't remember the last time we've done this. Just sit around and enjoy each other. Ana is making fun of me for constantly checking on the babies. This is probably the eighth time in the past hour I've gotten up to check on them. They are sleeping peacefully.
"Christian, they are fine. Come sit down" she orders me. I can't help but chuckle. Since when am I okay with her ordering me around? Maybe a part of me has always been okay with it. But I would never tell her that.
I take my seat next to her bed again, but not before I plant another kiss on her lips. I don't care that our kids are here with us. I've missed this woman so much. As I sit down I notice Natalie starting to stir. We are all quiet as we watch her, waiting for her reaction. She takes her time waking up, constantly rubbing the back of her hand under her nose and circling her little fist around her eye. Ana says her name softly a few times and strokes her hair. I stand and walk to the other side of the bed so that I can see her face. When she opens her eyes she sees Teddy and Phoebe first. And then she looks at me. She blinks a few times and lifts her head to look at Ana. "Mommy" she says with her tired voice. She rests her head on Ana's chest.
"Hi Baby."
"Hi Mommy."
After a few minutes Natalie is awake enough to sit up. "Mommy, ah you done sweeping?"
Ana can't help but laugh. "Yes Baby. I'm awake now. Your dress is so beautiful."
"Fank you. Daddy, I need to go potty."
"Come on, Sweet Pea." I pick her up and kiss her cheek. She's warm after sleeping next to Ana. Ana, I still can't believe she's awake. I'm afraid to leave her. If I leave will I come back to find out it was all a dream? I stop and turn around to face her. She can't see me but my kids can. They are talking and laughing with her. That warms my heart that I didn't know I had until Ana came along.
When I return with Natalie, I am relieved to see that Ana is okay. She is holding Montgomery and Teddy is holding Madeline. "Dad, Collins is going to take a family photo" Phoebe explains to me.
I smile at my family and gather around Ana's bed with them. I have Natalie sit next to her and Teddy hands Madeline to me. When we are ready Collins snaps away. Merry Christmas!