Chapter 24. Sorry it took so long. I have had a lot on my plate the past few weeks. Thanks for reading and reviewing the last chapters. You guys are great. So so so great. Anyways. Hope you enjoy. Remember to review and criticize at the end. It makes the story better you know. Happy reading.

"I am so going to get you back for splashing me." I told Jacob as we paddled back to the small wooden pier. I was thoroughly soaked and freezing but I had never felt as happy.

"Oh yeah? How exactly?" He challenged, smirking at me over his shoulder.

"Like I`m going to tell you how I`m going to get you back, you just better be on your toes Jacob Black." He laughed as he gracefully jumped from the canoe onto the pier. He bent down and hauled me up by my arms. Once on my feet I gave Jacob and quick kiss on the mouth.

"That was way too quick." Jacob smiled down on me. Even though the sky was grey and the wind and rain was beginning to pick up, his smile could light up a pitch black room. He bent down and kissed me sweetly. I must look like the dopiest girl in the world, standing there soaked and in a life jacket, with a sappy smile on my face. This is so not me. Or is it me?

"What do you want to do now?" I asked him happily. He looked down at me apologetically.

"I need to run patrol in about an hour. I`ll take you home and we can hang out for a while but I`m afraid that`s it for the next couple of hours. Sorry." He said sadly. I gave him a smile and a light punch on the shoulder.

"Buck up there champ, patrol can`t be that bad." I didn`t know that much about patrols besides what Jacob had told me. He mostly said that it was boring as hell.

"It`s not. It`s just that I`m stuck with Leah and Jared tonight."

"What`s wrong with them?" I asked. I was curious. Jacob seemed to really hate Leah, and I mean hate her. And from what I have seen of the two of them the feeling seemed to be mutual.

"It`s just that Leah is such a bitch. She brings everybody down with her pathetic yearning for Sam. Can you think about how Emily feels about that? With Leah being so obvious." He gave a horrible snort of laughter. "And Sam...he wishes that Leah would just disappear. We all do." I never thought I could think Jacob capable of saying such an ugly thing about a person and really mean it. I unbuckled my life jacket and put on my raincoat.

"How can you be so horrible Jacob?"

"How am I being horrible? I`m telling the truth."

"Your truth. Sam`s truth. The packs truth and maybe Emily`s truth. But that`s not Leah`s truth. Do you really think her motives for acting the way she does is to bring all of you down?"

"Yeah, she does things on purpose just to stir shit."

"It mustn`t be easy being the only girl in a gang of boys."

"She isn`t a real girl." Jacob said nastily.

"Of course she is. Don`t be such a jerk." I was beginning to get angry.

"She isn`t. Think about it. The only girl in history to phase. She even stopped getting her...period. Even she thinks there is something wrong with her. Something not quite right."

"And you`re making her feel even worse I bet." I accused.

"Yeah well...she makes everybody feel bad." Why was Jacob so bitter? "Just...don`t believe everything she says." What the fuck does that mean? I instantly got suspicious.

"What would she tell me?" I asked innocently, looking at him from the corner of my eye.

"Nothing interesting...I`m just warning you to keep your guard up."

"Keep my guard up...when it comes to Leah...yeeeaaahhh."

"I mean it Sonia. She`s bad news."

"She`s your pack mate Jacob!"

"I know...but still...just be careful around her."

"She`s my friend!"

"You can do better. What about Emily? You could be good friends with her." Emily? Mrs. Mom? Yeah right...I mean Emily is nice but she`s so...? And I also found it a bit weird how she doesn`t seem to care how lovey dovey she acts with Sam in front of Leah. I couldn`t say that to Jacob though. It would get back to Sam with the whole mind meld thing. In truth I felt that Leah was the loser in this whole mess. She didn`t even come out with a medal. All she got was a coat of fur and unlimited access to her ex-boyfriends thoughts. She also had to live with the knowledge that her initial phasing had brought about her dad`s fatal heart attack. How shit was that? How could anyone fault her for acting like a bitch?

"I`m already friends with Emily." I replied pathetically.

"I know...I know. It`s just that...and don`t take this the wrong way `kay." Jacob seemed scared.

"What?"

"Sam and Emily kinda think that you are not taking your responsibilities seriously."

"What? What exactly am I not taking seriously?" I hissed, rounding on Jacob.

"Forget it..."

"No I won`t. What responsibilities do I have exactly?"

"Well...the imprints are supposed to...provide support for their wolf...be there for meetings...food...clean clothes...things like that."

"So. Do Sam and Emily think this or do you?"

"I knew you would take this the wrong way." Jacob groaned.

"Come on Jacob. What more do you want me to do for you? Put on an apron and heels and flitter around your kitchen baking muffins?"

"No! It`s just..."

"Spit it out!"

"It`s like you don`t take this seriously! Either that or you are ignoring all the bad stuff." He said seriously. I was a bit taken aback.

"I do take this seriously." I whispered up at him. "I`ve seen how serious this whole thing is. What more do you want from me Jacob? I don`t know what else I`m supposed to be doing. I go with you wherever you want me to go. I would listen to you if you wanted to open up about your feelings. If you need money for clothes or stuff I`d give it to you."

"I don`t want your money!" He almost spat. "I just want you to be more mature about this...about the danger, the leeches. You act so flippant sometimes. Like it`s a big joke!"

"I don`t!"

"You do! You keep on going on and on about how when after the Cullen`s leave we will have a normal life. You are talking about college, about jobs, about a load of shit that we can`t have!"

"What are you talking about? Of course we can have all that stuff! When you can stop phasing we can go anywhere. Do anything."

"Bullshit. This is what I`m talking about Sonia. I`m bound to here. To La Push. The vamps won`t be going anywhere. The Cullen`s might leave eventually. But others will come because they were here. There are more and more boys threatening to phase."

"We can still..."

"No! We can`t! If I`m bound here then so are you! Understand? We can`t be separated. It`s too painful. Even if you left for college or some dance school and still came home every night you will feel it. The longer the distance between us the more painful it gets. That`s what you don`t understand. Even if you decide that one day you hated me, that you didn`t want me anymore, you would still have to stay here, be near me, see me everyday." He grabbed me by my upper arms put his face right into mine. "That`s what I mean by you not understanding all this shit...all this bad stuff. I`m afraid that once you realize fully, you will resent me."

"I`d never resent you. Never Jacob." I vowed. I hated when he suddenly changed like this.

"You would. When you realize that you can`t follow your dreams because you`re stuck here, in this rainy shit hole."

"A dream is only a dream Jacob. I have had lots of dreams and lots of them have changed. Do you know what my dream was when I was twelve?"

"What?"

"I wanted to be an archaeologist. Just like Indiana Jones."

"Come on Sonia...you know what I mean. I don`t want to hold you back and I am."

"You`re not! Jacob...Jacob please...I understand. I do. Really. Do you really think I would want to be away from you and miserable? You`re my dream now. You always will be." I hugged him around the waist and breathed in his smell. He smelt faintly sweaty and very Jacoby. I sighed and held him tighter. I loved him so much that is was scary. It was scary as hell to be honest at how quick it came and how intense it was. How deep it was. And I knew, I knew deep down that he was still in love with Bella. I knew his feelings for Bella were still fresh. If I was ignoring anything I was ignoring that. I knew it was easier to give in to my own feelings, let myself love him fully, in the hopes that one day he would forget her and love me only. I also understood the reason why he didn`t want me to be around Leah. She knew. She could see inside his head and know what know what he was really thinking. Jacob could count on the boys on keeping their mouths shut. But Leah...he was afraid of her.

"Sonia. I...I love you. I want you to do what makes you happy."

"You make me happy. So I guess I could do you then." I said cheekily. Jacob gave a little chuckle of laughter.

"I`ll take you home. Or to Emily`s if you want." Emily`s? Fuck that.

"I`ll go home. I smell like seaweed. Plus I have a dinner with my Mom and Michael tonight."

"How are they?"

"He`s going to ask her to marry him." I said happily.

"He is! Wow! How do you know."

"He asked for my permission." I giggled.

"How could you not tell me this!" Jacob accused.

"You are so nosey. I was going to tell you eventually. I am so happy for them. If any man deserves my mom it`s him. Plus he`s not trying to be a dad to me. He treats me like an adult."

"That`s good. When do I get to meet him?"

"The next time he takes us out for dinner I guess. You`ll like him." Jacob regarded me with a small smile.

"You`re pretty happy aren`t you?" He took my hand and led me towards his motorbike.

"I am. He promised to get me a new computer for christmas." I gave a little squeal and grinned at the image of a new Mac on my desk in my bedroom. I actually couldn`t wait.

Jacob dropped me home and we had lunch with my nana. When he left I showered and sat down to msm with Bernie. She told me that her and Ollie had done it for the first time this afternoon in the back on his Toyota in the woods. After that I called her for more details.

"Fucking slut. How was it?" I greeted Bernie who erupted into girlish giggles.

"Fucking amazing."

"And in the back seat. I thought you had some class." I giggled back at her.

"It just happened. Fuck me he has a magic tongue."

"Gross! He went down on you?" I breathed down the phone. "That`s hot."

"Yeah...it was. Mother fuck me it was amazing."

"I fucked Jacob."

"Sick. You did Black? How was it?"

"Amazing, he`s...wonderful."

"How big is he? You already know how big Ollie is. Dish bitch. I want details."

"Long and thick, I`d say about ten inches. Fucking almost crippled my vagina."

"Oh my God! Ollie`s about eight. You win with about two inches. I can`t believe we`re not virgins anymore. This is so weird."

"I know right!"

"Why did it take so long to discover Ollie?"

"You guys have been friends for so long. It`s difficult getting out of the friend zone."

"It just hit me one day. Like it was for you with Jacob. Hey! By the way. Are you okay with Jacob still hanging out with that Bella chick?"

I felt my insides turn to ices at Bernie`s words. He was still seeing her? When he promised me that he wasn`t? He was fucking lying to me! He was...I am going to kill him.

"When did you see them together?"

"Oh my God! He hasn`t told you that he was seeing her has he? Fucking asshole. You are way hotter than she is. You can get any guy you want."

"I know I`m hotter than her. Where did you see them?"

"When I was with Ollie just off second beach, about an hour ago." An hour ago. Just after he left. Patrol my ass.

"What were they doing? Kissing?" It was strange. The sick sense of satisfaction I felt with every piece of information I got. I felt a strange boiling sensation in the pit of my stomach and tears begin to sting my eyes. Don`t cry. Don`t fucking cry over him.

"No, they were sitting in the sand...holding hands and talking from what I saw." Bernie said carefully. I felt a hot tear escape and cascade down my cheek. I wiped it away hastily and took a couple of deep breaths.

"Do you think they would still be there?"

"I dunno Sonz. Do you want me to come with you and see?"

"No...I`m going to go and see for myself. Get some answers."

"Maybe they`re just friends?"

"Bullshit...it`s not friendship they have. Listen...I...I need to go. I`ll call you later."

"Sonia! Don`t do anything stupid. She`s not worth getting into trouble for. Maybe it was nothing...maybe they are just friends."

"Call you later."

"Okay...promise to call me."

"I promise." And with that I hung up.

I stood in my dressing gown and stared at my poster of Ian Curtis. What should I do? Go down there in hopes of catching them? Confront Jacob? Then the horrible truth of my earlier revelation hit me like a ton of bricks. Jacob still loved her! He loves me too but he loves her more. I let the tears fall freely now as I remembered something he told me the night before we officially got together. He said he didn`t want to lose me, lose this. This meaning me being in love with him. He wanted me to be in love with him. For whatever reason he couldn`t be content with just being friends. He was just as selfish as Bella was. How nice it was for him. Having a girlfriend who loves him to screw and then secretly seeing the girl he is really in love with. God only knows what he gets from her. Mental stimulation? She was the dumbest girl I`ve ever met!

I just couldn`t get my head around it. He knows what he`s doing. But I also knew that whatever was said between us, all the stuff he did for me was because he really did love me. But he didn`t love me like he loved her. I knew this all along and I still gave myself to him. Because I was stupid. Because I wanted him. Because I loved him. I love him. I am in love with him and he knows it. It`s the most powerful weapon he could use against me. He knew it. He saw it all along. And he exploited it. For what reason though? In the hopes that one day he would forget about her?

What am I to do? I`m not going to dinner that`s for sure. My mom would understand. I got dressed quickly and made my excuses to her and fled my house in my car. Where to go? Second beach? Billy`s? Emily`s? Where would they be? Leah? Leah! Yeah Leah! They only one who would have the balls to tell me the truth. But I didn`t want her to get into trouble. Fuck that. She was worth a try. Or maybe Kim? Jared tells her everything I bet. No...Leah. I trusted her the most. I stopped my car and dialed her number. I wanted to see if she was really on patrol now.

"Sonia?" Leah answered after about ten rings.

"Hey Leah. Are you busy?" So they weren`t on patrol like Jacob said.

"No...why?"

"Do you have patrol?"

"No. Not for another...three hours." Fucking lying jerk.

"Is Jacob on patrol?" She took her time answering that one. I heard her let out a heavy breath down the phone.

"I don`t think so. We have the same shift tonight. With Jared." So he was telling the truth in a small way. He was really thinking his lies through.

"I need to talk to you. I think you know about what." I waited a couple of seconds for her reaction.

"I think I do too Sonia...I`m sorry."

"Don`t be Leah. Where are you? I can come and pick you up."

"I`m at home. You can come here."

"Okay. I`ll be at yours in about ten."

"See you."

"Bye."

I restarted the engine and drove down to the Clearwater`s. As I got to the little green house I killed the engine and sat motionless for about a minute or two. Did I really want to know what Leah knew? Could I take it? Was I as bad as Jacob not confronting him straight to his face but going behind his back? I knew why I was doing it this way. It was because the truth would hurt the most coming from him. In his voice. If it came from someone else first. From Leah for example, it would cushion the blow a little. I would know what to expect. I saw Leah open the front door and stand hesitantly in the doorway. Her face was a mixture of pity and resignation. I was putting her in a horrible situation I knew.

"I can go if you don`t want to talk Leah. It`s okay." I said as I got out of the car and walked up to her. She shook her head.

"The charade has gone on long enough I think. If you go to Jacob he won`t tell you the whole truth. Kim is here too. We thought it would be better if we both told you."

"We were debating it long enough." A heavily pregnant Kim appeared from behind Leah. She offered me a weak smile which I couldn`t return.

"Girl code you know." Leah offered lamely.

The three of us went inside to the kitchen and sat around the spotless oak table. I played with the crocheted table cloth as Leah gave me a glass of water.

"You look like hell." Kim said gracelessly, which made me laugh.

"I bet I do." I smiled at her. She had to be one of the nicest girls around. I mean genuinely nice. She always had been. "So spill. What`s going on in my dear Jacob`s secret life?"

"Sonia listen...he does love you. I can`t stress that enough. It is impossible not to love the imprint." Leah emphasized.

"I know that already."

"He...he just hasn`t gotten over the leech lover."

"I know that too."

"I can`t begin to even understand why he loves her. None of us can. Not now, still. Your his imprint. After imprinting it`s supposed to be absolute, not matter how much you have loved someone before. I think Bella has some sort of pull over him. I can`t describe it."

"Does he have some sort of romantic love for me?"

"He does...really. He has fallen for you big time. It`s just that..." Leah trailed off and cocked her head to one side. She rolled her eyes. "Here comes the cavalry. Sorry Sonia."

"What?"

"Jacob...and Sam. Jared too Kim."

"Shit!" I muttered, suddenly afraid. I didn`t want to look at Jacob right now let alone talk to him.

"How could they have known?" Kim said angrily. She stood up heavily and looked out the kitchen window.

"Superhearing remember. Get ready girls. They`re here."

"LEAH!" I heard Jacob yell from outside. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Yes Jakey?" Leah said in a quiet voice, rolling her eyes again. The back door in the kitchen was flung open and Jacob bounded in noisily followed by Sam and Jared. He didn`t even look at me. He squared off with Leah, the small kitchen suddenly seemed too small and too hot.

"Bitch!" He spat at her. "Fucking shit stirring he-she."

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" I screamed just as Leah opened her mouth to speak. I was oblivious to everybody there but Jacob.

Ever so slowly he turned his head to look at me.

"So this is the way you wanted to know? How...how about asking me first?" He seemed angry and hurt, but most of all, he was afraid. I swallowed and stood my ground.

"How about telling me first? You wanted me to know. YOU WANTED ME TO FIND OUT!" And then I realized. I figured it out. And it was sickening. "You wanted me to hate you." I whispered. Jacob`s face blanched. "You did this to make me hate you didn`t you?" I accused.

Remember to review and tell me what you think. The bad as well as the good. Besos.