Chapter 12: Squeaky Clean?
Everyone was still partying when they were on the cruise, and have now gotten over the loss of Pikachu, Yoshi, and Snake. They could care less if Bowser returned. Funky Kong was performing tricks and singing on the dance floor, and everyone warmed up to him quickly. Daroach and Meta Knight were in the cellar.
Meta Knight: ...
Daroach: ...
Meta Knight: ...
Daroach: ...
Meta Knight: ...
Daroach: ...
Meta Knight: ...Bye
Meta Knight walked away.
Daroach: Geez, what a cold guy.
ZSS was meanwhile leaning on Luigi's shoulder.
ZSS: You seem to be over the loss of your pals Yoshi and Snake.
Luigi: You can't live in the a past as Snake said to a me. As for Yoshi, well, I think he had something nice to say?
ZSS cocked an eyebrow.
ZSS: Really? What did he say? I could never speak Yoshi.
Luigi's eyes watered for a second.
Luigi: Neither can I! I could never speak Yoshi! It was all a lie!
He lowered his head in shame.
ZSS: Hey hey it's ok! I could never understand Pikachu, but we still got along!
Luigi: Your right ZSS, thanks.
ZSS: No problem. Now i'm going to give you something that will raise your spirits a bit.
ZSS grabbed his face lightly with her hands...and gave him a light shock with her stun gun. Only he hit ground and began convulsing.
ZSS: Umm...a small zap on the neck usually helps me focus! Damn... I sure hope Daisy didn't see that.
Zelda then approached ZSS, and looked at Luigi.
Zelda: Woah, what did you do?!
ZSS looked at the twitching Luigi.
ZSS: I uh...he saw a Waddle Dee.
Zelda: Figures. He always did faint over pretty much everything.
Zelda went back inside, and Fox came blasting out.
Fox: Come to the party floor!
ZSS: In a minute.
Fox: Suit yourself!
Fox dragged the passed out Luigi by the arm, and now only Game and Watch and ZSS was on the deck.
ZSS: So...how's life?
Game and Watch just beeped loudly and clapped his hands.
ZSS: Err, fascinating.
ZSS looked out at the sea, then sighed.
ZSS: Have I really been playing this game as well as I should be? I was too busy finding an emotional attachment to Pikachu. I forgot I was even in a game! I should step it up, form alliances, dominate challenges. Then, when I win this, I can take out Ridley and avenge my parents...
ZSS let off a small smile, then frowned again.
ZSS: Would it of been nice if I didn't ave my suit jacked by those crazy men during auditions for this? That suit would be nice for winning challenges...and also hiding my emotions. I mean, my good looks are not really helping me much...
Fox then shouted from the dance floor.
Fox: Actually, it's the only reason no one has voted for you yet!
ZSS then promptly stopped and shouted back.
ZSS: Have you guys been listening to everything I've said so far?!
Fox and Funky on the dance floor nodded.
Funky: It's ok super girl, you're hot! I got no plans to vote you out anytime soon!
ZSS slapped her forehead.
ZSS: Does no one see anything about me aside from my looks?!
She then turned her head and forgot about the dead silent Game and Watch who was busy fishing of the side of the boat. He looked at her, shrugged, and began fishing again.
ZSS: Come onnn!
At the darkest part of the ship, Daroach was leaning against a pipe, contemplating his plans in this game.
Daroach: Let's see...my objectives are to win this contest by any means necessary. So that the Shadows can rule over Nintendo. As for myself, I plan to steal all the equipment I can. Hehe. Because I am Daroach! Time to make a mark!
Daroach whipped out his triple star and flung a flurry of stars at a wall. The wall cracked and begin to spurt a little bit of water.
Daroach: Uh oh. That can't be good.
As the day began to end, the contestants gathered to the helm of the ship, looking at towards the island that they had to return to. Luigi looked over the railing of the deck and held a fist up in victory.
Luigi: Yay! I wasn't a eliminated at that challenge! And I don't have to deal with Bowser anymore!
Suddenly, as if on cue, a sharp claw dug into the side of the ship and clung onto the railing. Pulling himself up, Bowser reappeared on the ship! Only his skin looked...a bit more dried out. He was actually nothing more than a shell of himself from before now.
Dry Bowser: Bowser's back baby!
Meta Knight: Shocker.
Luigi meanwhile facepalmed and sighed heavily.
Luigi: Well... everyone, Bowser's a back. Woo.
They all sort of mumbled, they didn't really care all that much.
Dry Bowser: What a modest group. By the way, this ship is going to sink in about 2 minutes.
Everyone on board just pulled off an over the top surprised facial expression.
Funky: Fo shizzle!
Falcon: I'm too muscular to die!
Falcon jumped off the boat and into the water, much to no one's surprise. 30 seconds later, he was hopping around on the island, beginning to falcon punch some trees over in excitement.
Meta Knight: Ignoramus.
Daroach rubbed his chin.
Daroach: Yes. That's perfect.
Funky: Funky time!
Funky decided to follow suit as Falcon did. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't Falcon. So within a minute of hitting the water he had to be pulled back up by ZSS' plasma whip.
Daroach: Another moron for the books.
The ship began to shake as the bottom of the ship filled with more water. Stanley angrily stepped outside the control center and growled.
Stanley: Dammit! Why can't I ever own a boat without it getting destroyed! Well, I suppose I'll call Pokemon Trainer up quickly and ask him to bring the Pigeottos.
Stanley called him up, and PT picked up from his house in Pallet town.
Stanley: SOS! The ship's going to sink! Hurry!
Pokemon Trainer was silent for a second.
Pokemon Trainer: Were you the one who deleted my save file on Pokemon Silver?
Stanley: Uh...no. Why would I do that?
Pokemon Trainer: Oh. Well I wish I knew, because I just don't think I have the energy to come over there otherwise...
Stanley sweated profusely.
Stanley: OK I'm sorry! It was me! Just come save us dammit!
The phone hung up, and the ship was reaching it's sinking point. Falcon called 10 kms from the island.
Falcon: You can do it guys!
Falcon started tapping his foot, waiting impatiently. After a whole 3 seconds, he became impatient and ran into the forest, hoping to find some sort of challenge.
Fox: Sometimes, I worry about him.
Krystal shouted out to Falcon from the island.
Krystal: Way to think about yourself, Falcon!
Everyone exchanged glances, and the boat began to submerge under water. Waluigi, who was hidden in cellar, flew into the air and towards the island.
Waluigi: If the rest of the contestants don't make, it, I'll have a shot at the final 2! Waluigi!
Ness: Eenyone no dat geye? (Anyone know that guy?)
Zelda: Not a clue! He kind of looks like Luigi though!
Luigi shuffled his feet, ashamed that he was the reason the character was conceived in the first place.
Luigi: Not a at all...
Little to everyone else's knowledge, Daroach teleported using the power of his Triple Star onto the island also. He began to search around the campsite, looking around for objects to steal and plunder.
Daroach: Junk, junk...oh, what's this?
Daroach spotted a hammer laying under Luigi's shelter. Carefully, he stashed the weapon under his cloak and snickered.
Daroach: What a fool. Leaving your weaponry at camp, all the better for the taking!
As Daroach turned his back towards the shore, Falcon's hand clapped him on the back, lighting his cloak on fire.
Daroach: You bloody moron!
Daroach did what first came to his mind: Stop, drop, and roll. Luckily because the fire didn't spread, it was put out quickly. But Luigi's hammer rolled out from under his cloak.
Falcon: I could swear someone here owned a hammer! Wait, you weren't taking that at all, right?
Daroach quickly mustered up a lie.
Daroach: Oh...I was just...
Falcon lost interest.
Falcon: Cool story bro! Hey look, it's the others!
The rest of the contestants were flowed onto shore by the Pidgeots that Pokemon Trainer had.
Pokemon Trainer: That will be $500, Stanley.
Stanley: What?! But...ok. Guys, pay up!
Dry Bowser: Says you, dork!
Stanley noticed the skinless Bowser.
Stanley: Ohh, welcome back...Dang highway robbery...
Stanley handed PT the money and he tipped his cap before flying off. Stanley was not in a good mood now.
Stanley: I don't care if one of you almost died, get to tribal! 30 minutes!
Stanley grumbled and boarded a Pigeot PT left him to get back, due to his sunken boat. It pecked him a few times before he finally flew away on it. The All Stars gathered around and noticed that Daroach arrived on the island before anyone else.
Funky: Hey bro! What's with the whole getting here before us act? Dying on that sinking boat was supposed to be a TEAM EFFORT!
Meta Knight cocked an eyebrow from under his mask.
Daroach: Oh. My apologies. I um...
Daroach did not want to reveal any of his secrets to the rest of the tribe.
Daroach: I'm part Pidgey. Yeah. I can fly!
Everyone gasped in awe. Krystal simply rolled her eyes, not believing his hoax. Suddenly though, everyone realized that they still had to vote someone out of the game. Slowly the group began to diverge, with Daroach's beady eyes scanning the contestants and analysing who he preceived as a threat.
Daroach: So whoever I plan on getting out today, I'm going to need a group of people who are easy to manipulate. Let's see here...
Falcon peered over his left shoulder.
Falcon: Hey bro! Why are you talking to yourself?
Funky popped over his other shoulder.
Funky: I don't know! Maybe he's talking to his hat!
Daroach's eyes flickered to the two muscle heads invading his personal space.
Daroach: Will you morons keep to yourse- I mean, say, how would you like to be part of my alliance there, friends?
Falcon and Funky exchanged glances.
Funky: I had no friends, I'm in!
Daroach and Funky shook hands. Falcon on the other hand, actually questioned his motives.
Falcon: Wait a minute, why should we trust a newcomer like you...actually, why should I even trust you Funky! You see, us All Stars made a plan during the cruise to...
Daroach inched his giant ears closer to the oblivious Falcon.
Falcon: To, to...I forgot.
Daroach facepalmed.
Daroach: Are you sure it wasn't a plan to eliminate you, Falcon?
Falcon scratched his head.
Falcon: Why would they want to do that? Everyone loves me!
Daroach: I wouldn't be so sure.
Daroach, Funky, and Falcon noticed a group of Krystal, Luigi, Zelda, Marth, Fox, and ZSS discussing plans amongst themselves.
Daroach: They see you as a threat. Such a...muscular man like yourself is bound to win all of the challenges.
Falcon nodded his head slightly.
Daroach: Tell me, out of everyone in this competition right now, who would you like gone right now?
Falcon took a long, hard look at everyone left in the game. It was time for him to apply strategy.
Falcon: Can I flip a coin?
Daroach: There's more than two people.
Funky: How about draw marbles from A to C?
Daroach: There's more than three people
Falcon: Oh! Let's spin a spinner, dividing it into 4 sections. Whichever section it lands on, is the person we eliminate!
Daroach: There's more than four people! Look, how about I pick and ease you from the mental strain.
Falcon nodded his head in agreeance. Daroach began his analysing. Perking up his ears, he slid behind a bush and tuned into the group's conversation in front of him.
Fox: Nominees, anyone?
Luigi: I'm thinking Bowser. Does anyone honestly here like him at all?
No one bothered to raise their hands.
Luigi: One nomination for Bowser...
Daroach nodded his head behind the bush. Taking a look at Bowser laying over by Meta Knight and Game and Watch, he noticed the koopa was not as powerful as he once was without his skin. He saw Bowser wrestling a tree out of the ground to attempt to use for firewood.
Bowser: Dammit wood! Get out of the damn ground!
Bowser yanked on the tree with a lot of might, before shrugging and slicing it down with his claws.
Bowser: Must drink more milk.
Daroach: Not a threat. Outcast and not a physical challenge.
ZSS: How about Falcon? He's lacking in the intelligence department, but given a challenge though, he's quite the opponent to defeat.
Luigi: One nomination for Falcon...
Daroach: Well, I can use this to my advantage. If Falcon gets wind of them wanting to eliminate him, I can get rid of that blond girl tonight. Or the Green plumber. Preferably the blond one, she seems more of a threat.
As Daroach began to creep out of the bush, he heard one more voice speak up that quickly caught his interest.
Krystal: How about we make a pact to eliminate the new contestants first? I think it should be Daroach, Funky, Ness. We can't trust any of them.
Fox: Anything for you, my sweet!
Krystal: What was that Fox?
Fox shuffled his foot.
Fox: Nothing at all...
Zelda: As a women, I know Krystal's idea is the best so far.
Marth: What does being a girl have to do with anything here?
Zelda: Shouldn't you know Marth? We're better at formulating ideas!
Marth was not sure whether to be offended over being called a chick, or being called inferior to women.
Luigi: So, I agree with that idea! Daroach tonight?
Everyone shook their heads. Fox shouted his response though.
Fox: DAROACH IT IS!
ZSS grabbed his mouth.
ZSS: Shut up! Please. There's a reason why we're whispering right now.
Fox: Heh, sorry. Do you forgive me Krystal?
Krystal was already walking away.
Fox: Aww...
Daroach had his completed report.
Daroach: Fox, a loudmouth that will probably form his own demise. Zelda, assertive and also capable of manipulation. But I know who my target is tonight: Krystal.
Daroach rustled out of the bush, to which Ness saw him crawl out of after starting up a fire with his PK fire move. This made Dry Bowser feel inadequate.
Dry Bowser: Lousy brat...
Ness: Dawoch? Wut Arr yuu dooing?
Daroach: Never mind that, I have a proposal-
Ness: Nuu, Reely? Wut Arr yuu dooing?
Daroach: Fine, I was looking for berries, satisfied?
Ness was satisfied.
Daroach: Anyways, word has it that little alliance that is currently excluding us right now plans to vote out all the newcomers. Me, you, Funky...
Ness: O noes!
Daroach: Oh yes! Problem is, we are at the disadvantage here with the low numbers. 6 to us 3 newcomers? Not going to fly, little guy. I've recruited Falcon, so it's your job to get the other four outsider to side with us. At least 3 of them anyways to provide a 7-6 advantage, taking one of them out of the game. You go get Fawful, Game and Watch, and Bowser. I'll get Meta Knight. Got it?
Ness shrugged. Luckily he was reasonably smarter than Falcon, and a lot smarter than Funky Kong.
Ness: Okay.
Although Ness felt a bit uneasy around the mouse, he didn't have much choices for other partners. As Ness turned his back, he didn't notice Daroach swipe his Yo-Yo from his back pocket.
Daroach: Yoink!
He stuffed it under his cape. He also scratched under his hat, tugging at his sprout emitting from his head. A growl was heard from a recognizable voice into Daroach's head.
Ganondorf: Listen mouse! You are not removing this means of communication between us, or things will get ugly. I feel we are being nice enough over here in the Shadow Side to get you the choice on how you'd like to play and your share of loot. So quit it!
Daroach gulped.
Daroach: Sorry sir.
Fawful was watching Game and Watch play with his turtle Blipp, amused because...well there wasn't much to exactly be amused about on a boring island like this.
Fawful: Look at the way that cow potato moves it's legs, like mustard flowing out of the top of a mustard dispenser!
Game and Watch beeped loudly in approval. Then they noticed Ness approaching them. Fawful shouted at the boy.
Fawful: Oh look it's the new cloud! Isn't that right Mr. Meat Buffalo?
Game and Watch: Beep!
Ness: Guiss! Eye haf ane eyedeea! (Guys, I have an idea!)
Fawful and Game and Watch looked at each other. Dry Bowser came walking into the scene.
Dry Bowser: Translation?
Ness: Joyen owrr ahlieants! (Join our Alliance!)
Dry Bowser: He want some ants? Look around, everyone here is insignificant and puny, ha ha ha!
Ness stomped his foot. No one could understand him through his speech impediment.
Ness: Nowh nowh nowh! Wee arr inn
Fawful: We are in...
Ness: Daingrr! (Danger!)
Dry Bowser: Tanker?
Game and Watch: Beep?
Ness eventually became frustrated and left the group. Daroach noticed Ness trudging off and worked his magic.
Daroach: Join the dark side. We got cookies.
Fawful: Now wait a minute mighty mouse...how do we know you even have those morsels of goodness?
Daroach reached into his pocket and pull out 3 cookies.
Daroach: Stole em from the kid. He had some in his back pocket.
None of the three showed any objection to any immoral actions (Game and Watch was neutral) so they accepted and nodded their heads.
Daroach: 3 down, 1 to go.
As Daroach walked away, Dry Bowser began spitting out his cookie.
Dry Bowser: These cookies taste like crap! And they go right through me...grr...
Meta Knight was leaning against a tree, staring out into the ocean. He was thinking about how he could progress in the game. While he was capable of the challenges and had the instincts for survival, he had a hard time socializing with others. Trust for him was a very foreign concept, and he knew the wrong alliances would end him. Daroach walked up behind him, tapping him on the shoulder. Meta Knight swung backwards with his sword armed, slicing the tree he was leaning on.
Daroach: Woah! Easy there.
Meta Knight: Speak.
Daroach: To offer you part of my alliance. See, we want to eliminate Krystal tonight.
Meta Knight: Why. Threatened?
Daroach: Yes. How precise of you. I offer you a cookie.
Daroach pulled a cookie out of his cloak before Meta Knight swiped at him, turning it into dust.
Meta Knight: Don't bribe me. I could just as easily join the others and eliminate you first. Couldn't I?
Daroach sweated a bit.
Daroach: W-What? Look, decide wisely, I can keep you in this game!
Daroach backed away before he make any more mistakes with Meta Knight.
Meta Knight: ...
Tribal was upon the All Stars now, as they walked into the REJECTANCE ROOM. Stanley and PT awaited their arrival.
Stanley: Oh god I don't feel like doing this...I mean welcome All Stars! How are you finding life with your new castmates?
A few shrugs went around, some had other things to say.
Falcon: This Funky guy here is pretty chill!
Funky: Rock on brutha!
They clapped hands together.
Krystal: They're new, why waste the time to keep them?
Luigi: And...I miss Snake.
Stanley: I see...you, Ness! Anyone underestimating you because you're a kid?
Ness: Off cours! Dey tink Eym inncappabull off speeach oar sumthing!
Stanley: Right then, whatever you just said.
Ness: See watt eye meen!?
Marth: You have a heavy accent there friend.
Stanley: Meta Knight! Anything you'd like to contribute?
Meta Knight: No.
Stanley: Always informative as usual! Well then, shall we? Daroach, you're first up.
Daroach smirked under his hat, walking up to the table to cast his vote. After everyone else did the same, Stanley grabbed the jar with the votes.
Stanley: Alright, let's read these things! Personally I think a newcomer is going home tonight!
Funky and Ness sweat a bit. PT poked Daroach on the shoulder.
PT: It's against the contract to say things like that.
Fawful: Meat shakes! Stan the Obscurity man is breaking rules like a ghost in a meat store!
Stanley: SHUT UP FAWFUL!
Everyone stared at him.
Stanley: Sorry...I just HATE things without logic. Anyways, first vote, Krystal.
Krystal: Tch.
Stanley: Second vote, Daroach.
Daroach: Tch...tch.
Stanley: Votes three and four. Krystal and Daroach! Wow you guys are in trouble!
Krystal: Don't have to remind me. Seems like the newcomers are pulling a fast one!
Stanley: Votes five and six, Krystal.
Krystal: Uh oh. Wait a minute...
The alliance that Krystal was in twisted their mouths. They forgot to speak to Falcon, Bowser, Meta Knight Fawful, and Game and Watch about their plans to eliminate the new people.
Stanley: Seven and eight, Daroach!
Daroach: They'll never pull it off.
Stanley: The votes are tied at 4-4 for the both of them! and the next four votes...Krystal, Daroach, Krystal, Daroach. That means it all comes down to this last vote! Thrilling!
Stanley removed the last vote.
Stanley: And 15th place goes to...oh you gotta be kidding me! Who voted for Ness?! It's a tie now! That means a tiebreaker...ugh...
PT whispered in his ear
PT: You never prepared for a tiebreaker?!
Stanley: I thought everyone in this game would just unanimously hate someone!
The All Stars just lowered their glances at him.
Stanley: Uh, ok...flip a coin!
Krystal was outraged
Krystal: My fate is going to be determined on a coin flip?!
Stanley: Oh it's not that bad. Lighten up!
Krystal: It's not your neck on the line! ...*Sigh* ok, I'll do it.
Fox suddenly dived in front of Krystal, knocking her to the ground.
Fox: NOOOOOOOOOO!
He said this 5 seconds late, after he knocked her over.
Krystal: What are you doing!?
Fox: Krystal, I'll do the coin flip. I just can't risk losing you in this contest!
Krystal's eyes beamed.
Krystal You'd really put your safety at risk in this contest for me?
Fox: Psh, heck no! I'll just do the coin flip for you!
Krystal's eyebrows drooped.
Krystal: Fox, it doesn't matter who does a coin flip. It's a coin flip for crying out loud. Ok Daroach, you call it.
Daroach: Heads, I'll provide the coin.
Daroach whipped out a coin, handing it to Stanley.
Daroach: Here we go.
Stanley breathed in, then flipped the coin into the air. Up it flew into the air, tensions high. At the end of this, only one would be left standing, one would have the privilege to stay in the game, all on the flip of a coi-
Stanley: Heads, Daroach stays and Krystal goes!
Some heads dropped and some rose up. Fox was mortified.
Fox: KRYSTAAAAAAAAAAAAL! I-I...
Krystal leaned in close.
Fox: I hope you fill up my Arwing with gas once you get back. I think it's running low since Falco takes it out all the time. WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!
Krystal simply walked off, hopped in the cannon, and was shot back home. Everyone glanced at him.
Fox: What..what?!
Dry Bowser: And they say I'm bad with girls!
Stanley: Well, there we have it! I'm getting so sick of this job...now then, wasn't that a shock? Off you go!
The All Stars trudged on back, and Daroach looked at the coin in his hand that Stanley failed to check: It was double sided.
Votes:
Daroach: Krystal
Funky: Krystal
Falcon: Krystal
Ness: Krystal
Game and Watch: Krystal
Fawful: Krystal
Krystal: Daroach
Luigi: Daroach
Marth: Daroach
Fox: Daroach
Zelda: Daroach
ZSS: Daroach
Meta Knight: Ness
Bowser: Ness
Meta Knight: Undecided...again.
Dry Bowser: The cookies taste like crap! And no one tells Dry Bowser who to vote for!
Final words, Krystal: I didn't expect this at all. That Daroach is a shifty one. And Fox is a moron. Wait a second, maybe I should of checked that coin...