Warning: Graphic scenes
It was the middle of the night. There was snow lightly falling from the dark sky. The Southern Lights shimmered and spewed colors that were unfathomable. The ancient portal and its forest had left its mark on the world. The trees' branches were archaic but not worn, and all around them was peace. The wind blew at a soft pace that was almost like music. The snow fell like feathers falling from a bird. Although the night was quiet, it would wait for the Avatar to come and disturb its slumber. On the makeshift shelter was a light layer of snow encompassing it's perimeter. It had warmth inside of it, and three unlikely guests.
Korra stirred restlessly that night. She had been filled with the anxieties of her past. Inside her deepest thoughts and dreams was fear. Her fear had been borne of her past that still haunted her. As she moved around helplessly, her forehead became dotted with droplets of sweat; her brow became furrowed.
There was crashing all around her. She was like a toy being tossed around by a malevolent owner. Korra felt out of control and in pain. She felt the true fear of not knowing if whether or not she would live. As she looked up she saw the face of her tormentor. It was Zaheer, but he was shrouded in darkness and looked distorted. It was not the Zaheer she fought, but the Zaheer who had haunted her after the traumatic events in her life.
In her mind she was chained up in the Red Lotus' hideout and she was being given the metallic poison that plagued her even now. The voices of Amon, Unalaq, Vaatu, Zaheer, Chi Blockers, and the rest of the Red Lotus members were conspiring in front of her as she wailed in pain.
She began to yell helplessly, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME? STOP IT PLEASE. I CANT TAKE THIS PAIN ANYMORE!"
Blood began to fall from her ears and she watched it land on the floor. Dark hands began to reach for her, as she felt their cold grip on her. She felt them clawing away at her skin. Their nails began to tear away from her. The crowd of former enemies in front of her gave out a maniacal chorus of laughter.
When Korra tried to pull away from the platinum chains that binded her, she felt the skin at her wrists began to tear and fall off. As she turned to see the source of this pain she felt sheer terror from within. Korra couldn't bear it any longer, she began to sob, and her whelps of pain were blood curdling. But as her screams for help grew louder, so did the mob of villains' laugh.
Korra's body in the real world; was trembling. Sweat formed all over her, it was as if she was having an anxiety attack in her sleep. Her arms and legs began to fidget and soon she was off her makeshift bed. One of Korra's legs kicked and hit Asami in her back.
"Ah", she said sleepily.
Asami turned over to see her girlfriend in pain. She instantly felt a deep wrenching pain in her gut, and she didn't know what to do. What's going on? What do I do? She isn't having a stroke or heart attack, she's tool healthy for that. Wh- her anxiety! I have to wake her from this nightmare but… What if I make it worse by shaking her?Asami didn't know how to react to this; she had never seen someone have an episode like this. She had to make a decision fast.
Asami got up from her bed and grabbed a towelette and wet it with some fresh water they had saved. Then she walked over to Korra and placed her head on her lap and put the towelette on her forehead. While she pushed her bangs away she noticed that her temperature was high, probably due to her mental stress. Asami didn't know what else to do except stroke her face and talk to her, and she believed that it would bring her back to reality.
"Korra, shhh, I'm here… I don't know what's going on, and it makes me scared… But I'm here. I'm holding you, holding your face, trying to make you feel better. I hope that you can hear my words; that they're getting to you. I care about you so much, do you know that?" Asami was started to tear up and her voice began to crack. " I know I'm not the best fighter, or even a bender, but I'm going to protect you, the same way you protected me yesterday."
Meanwhile in Korra's mind, she was fighting a battle that never was.
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?" Korra was in so much pain that her mouth was starting to spit out blood as she talked. Her hope was crushed and she had no way of escaping.
"Bring her in", Amon said from the back of the crowd.
Then, Unalaq tugged in Asami who was tied up and was being dragged on the floor. Asami's hair was unkempt and she had bruises on her like she had been beaten. When Korra saw this her eyes were wide and her mouth was agape. The enemies had trapped the one person she never thought they'd get.
In the real world Korra began flickering in and out the Avatar state like a light switch turning on and off. Her mouth was wide and she groaned in pain. Asami was so horrified she didn't know what to do to make it stop. Instinct kicked in, Asami gripped Korra hard like she was never going to let go.
"STOP IT! DON'T YOU DARE HARM HER!" Korra began to breathe fire like a dragon and started to get the momentum that she needed to get out of those chains.
She burned each one, melting the platinum. Then she swung down and landed within the crowed. Some of the Chi Blockers and other insignificant villains began to disappear. She walked forward and the earth began to crack with each step she took. Unalaq became filled with fear and ran away. When Korra saw this her dream self that was in the Avatar state had swung and wrapped the chain around his ankles and tossed him in the lava pit that was once under her.
The others began to run away but there were only two people left: Zaheer and Amon. Both of whom had Asami in their arms, as if they were ready to crush her. There was a deep scowl in Korra's face when she reached them. As she opened her mouth a flame enveloped both Zaheer and Amon, but it had sparred Asami. Then Korra's Avatar state wore off and she fell limp on the floor. When she got back up she headed to Asami who was lying face down. She looked battered and the Avatar wailed in pain.
But above her the cave ceiling began to crack. Small rays of light began to pour in and fill the darkened room. Each ray that touched the crystallite surrounding them had shined beautiful green emerald colors around them. There was a soft voice coming from the sky. And Korra didn't feel the pain she had once felt. It was a woman's voice that was very familiar. Then from the crevasses in the room, Korra's loved ones began to appear.
In the front were Korra's parents Tonraq and Senna. Senna held out open arms to welcome her daughter in. As Korra ran towards her parents, the chains had fallen off of her, and a weight was lifted. But then a voice came from behind her, as she held her parents close.
"Korra, I'm here. I'll always protect you".
Korra turned around and in amazement it was Asami. She turned around and ran towards her, giving her a passionate kiss.
"Come on, we have to return."
Outside the dome the snow stopped falling, and the sky cleared up. Little did Asami and Korra know, Korra's own emotions had affect the weather outside of them, this was because they were right next to the ancient forest and spirit portal.
"Korra, I'm here…"
Korra's eyes crept open. They felt almost sore. Her body felt heavy. When Korra opened her eyes she saw a familiar face of comfort. It was Asami. The same Asami that proved her love for Korra. The same Asami that never left her side since Korra's accident. It was the Asami that felt like home.
"What's going on", Korra's voice was tired and broken.
"You were in a lot of pain. It's the middle of the night; I couldn't let you go through it without some help. I wasn't going to let you go through all that pain alone." She pushed Korra's hair out of her face, it stuck due to the sweat that she had shed.
Korra gave a weary smile to show her gratitude, she knew she could rely on Asami.
"Korra, did you have an anxiety attack?"
"I don't know… I had a nightmare. I don't, I don't want to think about it right now." Korra brought a hand to the temple on her head. It was as if she was trying to rub out those painful dreams.
"Let me get you some water, how about you sit by the fire."
When Asami came back with some water for Korra to drink, Korra had a grave look on her face. "This isn't the first time this has happened."
"What do you mean?"
"For the past two years I've had dreams like this. Sometimes one of my parents would come in and calm me. Other times, I would have to live them out and only have them stop when the sunlight woke me up. It's hard Asami. It's hard and no one understands. Not even you can." She looked down and saw her reflection in her cup; it was worn and tired of all the mental stress. "I live that fight, and all the past ones, over and over. It gets twisted and distorted and becomes my worst nightmares. But this one was different. This time, you were there. You were beaten and I couldn't handle seeing someone hurting you."
"Korra…" Asami sat down next to her, grabbed Korra's hand, and looked her dead in the eyes. "Don't think of me so lightly. I'm strong. I can fight. No one would be able to get to me like that."
This did help reassure Korra, but it wasn't enough.
"Either way, I just. I couldn't watch the person I love—care about, be so hurt."
Asami felt almost flustered when she heard what came out of Korra's lips. Although it was not the appropriate moment, Asami's heart beat a little bit faster.
"Korra, I know I won't understand that pain you were feeling. But you need to know that I'm going to help you carry that burden. Today, after you rest some more, you're going to take a step down your path of recovery. I'm going to be there. Watching over your body, making sure you're safe. If I have to, I'll go through the portal and pull you back myself."
Korra didn't have a verbal response. She gave Asami a look of hope, hope that she will recover and return to become the Avatar that she is meant to be.
"Do you want to rest again?"
"Yes, I've already taken a toll on my body, and I haven't done what I came here to do yet."
So they laid there. Asami laid flat on her back while Korra laid on her, with her head on Asami's chest (which was more comfortable than a pillow and more relaxing). For the next few hours before daylight they needed to catch up on the sleep they lost. Luckily for them, Naga didn't make too many noises the rest of the night.
When daylight finally broke Korra and Asami were rested to their hearts content. The intimacy was perhaps what helped Korra not have any more nightmares for that night. Asami realized that she wouldn't be able to heal her. But she would be able to help her get through this dark time in her life.
Korra was the first to wake up. She looked around the room without moving and saw that Naga was wagging her tail in her sleep. The fire that was there last night had died out. And she felt her head slowly rising and falling as it laid on Asami's body. When she looked up she saw her, the most beautiful woman in her mind. Even without her make-up she still possessed the power to swoon anyone that looked at her. I don't want to wake her though… Korra thought as she watched her peacefully sleep.
Then she crept out of Asami's arms and began to lie next to her on her stomach, with her arms propping her head up. She watched Asami like a child looking at the beautiful fish in an aquarium. Korra studied the way Asami's hair curled. Her curls were loose, ribbon-like, and were a dark satin black. She had full eyelashes, enough to make any woman jealous (except for Korra, who didn't mind those things). Each time she traced the curves of Asami's body with her eyes there was a constant thought in her mind. I'm so incredibly lucky to be with her… to be with this beautiful woman. From her fingers, to her waist, to her feet, Asami was drop dead gorgeous, and Korra knew this from the moment she met her, those many years ago.
"I could love you every day of my life…" Korra didn't even realize she was saying this. It poured out of her mouth quaintly and she didn't pay any mind to it. She was the only one awake in the room and it didn't worry her.
Korra kept looking at her but then she wanted to get closer. Propping herself next to Asami, Korra began to trace her face with her index finger. It was not like in a trance, but rather, a mindful admiration of Asami. With her finger she touched her soft pink lips; that were so full and kissable. She touched her cheeks that were rosy and pillow-like. Korra began to trace downward towards her neck, that made her want to pull back Asami's hair and kiss it. Asami's collarbone was next, and Korra was filled with anticipation with what was just below. But, she figured it was not the time, nor was it appropriate. She would want consent and encouragement to do anything to Asami.
Impatiently, Korra wanted Asami to wake up, but she then decided that since Asami was the one reassuring her through the night, she should let her sleep more. Korra turned towards Naga who was just started to wake up (she knew because Naga had a habit of thumping her hind leg like a rabbit just before she woke up). It was getting later and soon Asami would be awake.
Eventually Asami had turned over. Her hair was draped over on the pillow and it revealed the back nape of her neck. This got Korra excited as she remembered the last time they were together in that sense. But she kept it in. Instead she leaned up on Asami and wrapped one of her arms around her.
Asami let out a moan, she was waking up, and then a soft yawn followed.
"Good morning gorgeous", Korra said with a smile.
Asami turned over to face her and then giggled. Korra didn't know it, but the entire time she had a crazy bedhead and she never thought to fix it. "Look at your reflection".
Korra headed towards a jug filled with water and saw herself. Half her hair was trying to stay in her ponytails, and half was practically flying out. Immediately Korra's face turned red with embarrassment.
"Oops" She said while she quickly was trying to fix it.
"It's cute, don't fret too much over it." It definitely brightened up Asami's morning.
When Korra headed towards Asami, she laid on her back. Asami took this as an invitation to lay on Korra's toned and sculpted stomach. Korra didn't feel as bashful as she did last time, if anything she was very eager, especially after looking at her sleep.
Asami didn't have sex on her mind like Korra did. She was thinking about what happened the night before and soon a look came on her face. Korra saw this and the two of them sat up.
"Do you think you can tell me what happened?" Asami said with a concerned tone.
"Yes, I can."
During the time of Korra's retelling of her nightmare, Asami had thoughts racing through her mind. She knew that you couldn't "cure" someone from PTSD just by being with them. But she knew that no matter what happened, she wanted to be with Korra in the long run.
"And so that's when I heard your voice. I don't know how you got through to me, but you did. Thank you." Korra moved in to give Asami a light kiss.
"It's nothing", she said with a blush, "we should start eating breakfast and then you can do what we came here to do".
Korra got out another bag of dog food for Naga, she really wanted a full breakfast. Korra wasn't very different. The two girls had some light soup and it was enough for them.
When they were all strapped up and ready to go, Korra led them out of the rocky dome and then Earthbend it down to where it was originally. When she turned she saw the thick forest. It did not seem as menacing as it did the first time she saw it, with Mako and her family. That was over two years ago and a lot had changed. They started their trek through the forest. There was small spirits scurrying round their feet, and Naga had taken a liking for them. Asami had grown curious of the matters of the spirits and their home. As for Korra, she was emptying out her mind and preparing herself to get her mission done. With each step they were approaching the portal. Korra had not made up her mind if she wanted to enter the Southern Portal, or if she wanted to meditate.
"Asami, what should I do?" Korra said as she made her way over a large tree root.
"What do you mean?"
"Should I enter through the spirit portal, or should I meditate?"
"Well, why not weigh the pros and cons of both – woah!" Asami tripped on the root that Korra had hopped over.
"That's a good idea… Okay, start."
"Well, you've told me before, that in the spirit world you can't bend, unless you go through a portal. So, the question is, do you think you'll need your bending? Another thing to keep in mind is, if you go in with just your soul, and get lost, I think there is less of a chance of you returning. But if you go in with your body, you'll at least have a better fighting chance…" Asami was maneuvering through the terrain, which was surprisingly difficult.
"I think, I should probably go through the portal, so I can find the root of this problem".
"Then I'll stay here and keep watch over Naga and our supplies."
"Alright."
After a few more miles of walking, they finally reached the foot of the portal. Asami was in awe, she had never seen anything like it before. The golden rays seemed to go on forever in the sky. There was a unusual light feeling when you walked close to it. This experience would cradle Asami's fascination for the Spirit World.
Korra looked solemn, and she turned towards Asami and dropped her bags.
"Asami, I want you to know, that I'm going to do my best to come out of this without a scratch. This is something only I can do. I know you're worried bu—"
Asami couldn't hold her emotions in and gave Korra a deep kiss, which was very welcomed. After about thirty seconds they stopped and Asami had something to get off her chest.
"I'm willing to travel the entire world with you Korra. This is just another step in our journey. Please come back safely. I'll miss you ever moment you're gone", with that, she placed a soft kiss on Korra's forehead, "Come back soon okay?"
"Okay", she said with a bright smile.
This eased Korra's anxieties and worries for now. She began making her way towards the portal. It felt different than before. Instead of it being instantaneous, Korra felt a weird sensation flowing through her body. But she did make it to the other side. There were tiny balls of light, like lightning bugs, fluttering around her. Instead of going to the spot near the tree of time, Korra ended up in the middle of a grove.
There were a few trees, all seemed to be firs or pines. There was a light gravel path weaving in and out of the grove. Across from the path was a bright lake, it was not too big, but rather small, you could easily see across it. Around the grove were spirits, much like the ones in the ancient forest. However something did not seem right at all. The sky seemed to be stuck at evening, which was unusual because there was no sun in the spirit world. When Korra went to look over at the small lake, there was a light mist covering it, and as she walked closer, she noticed how it began to spread all long the grove.
She didn't realize it then, but she was being pulled to a tree. It was a giant pine tree. She did not know how tall it was, only that it felt as if it had its own gravity about it. When Korra reached this tree (after walking down the gravel path), she entered a trance like state. She placed her brown palm on its bark and shut her eyes.
When she opened her eyes she found that she was shrouded in white. Korra tried bending to maybe tear this "shroud", but it did not work. She was in another dimension, one that should not exist. Behind her she heard voices: some were like the hopeless ones in the Fog of Lost Souls, other's seemed livelier and panicked. Korra did the only thing she knew, she decided to meditate.
Korra projected her spirit forward in order to contact those lost spirits. After questioning a few, she realized how much danger she was in. There was talk about rips in realty where some spirits would walk into, thinking that it was the way home, but then never seeing their home again.
These poor spirits… Those 'holes' are the only chance they have. Although it is likely get into the physical or spiritual world, they risk the chance of never returning. I need to find one of these rips and bind it together. Maybe that can stop these 'holes'.
However, the problem that Korra overlooked was that these rips would seldom appear. Even if they did, they didn't last long. Only for a few minutes.
But it was the only chance Korra had, so she remained patient. Korra waited there. For what felt even like days. Spirits came idling by her, murmuring a few words, none would give her peace of mind though.
I really hope not too much time has passed in the physical world; I can't leave Asami alone for too long.
Throughout this time, Korra had to make sure she didn't lose her mind, which was already under much stress. She would wait there, remembering fond memories of the last month and a half that Asami and her, had spent together.
She waited.
It felt like a week had passed by.
She waited more.
Maybe a month.
Eventually Korra lost concept of time. She felt trapped, she felt something gnawing at her. She was alone. She regretted ever coming here. I should've waited. I should've healed completely. I should've asked Tenzien for help. I should've. I should've. I shouldn't have left Asami alone. What if she already went back? What if she is home? What if she's in Republic City? What if… (The thought hit her)… she found someone else?
Already on the verge of collapse, Korra frantically looked around her. But everything stopped when she saw it. The Rip.
Unlike the ones that the spirits had talked about, this one was much larger inside. There were dazzling lights inside of it. Not only Korra, but other vagabond spirits were around her, starring into the void that called them. She felt it, the incredible need, it called her to move forward; to take another step and become inside of it. But she felt resistance. Inside her mind was a voice telling her that she needed to come back home. But I can come back home. The rip can lead me home. But to have it in front of her, seemed too good to be true.
Something had clicked in her mind. In a flash her eyes began to glow. The Avatar state was flickering. Korra had no control over it, and it had felt different than all the times before then. The rush of power that was normally felt, had surged in and out of her body. Eventually she had been left with a numb feeling. She took a few steps (without any control). When she reached the edge of The Rip she took a breath.
All the spirits had been crowded around her and many of them were being drawn in. Korra began to make circular motions with her hands, as if to bend. But no elements came out. Instead she was bending the raw spirit energy. It began to close, bit by bit. One by one the spirits around her slowly began to come to their senses, and soon they disappeared. They were all being sent back to the spirit world. Korra was never fully into the Avatar state, but there was enough power to do what she needed to do.
When it was just herself, bending the spirit energy, something unusual happened. The last tear in The Rip was left. But a pure purple blast of energy crashed through. It blew Korra down on her back. When she looked up, The Rip was expanding. She tried running away as it grew at an exponential rate, but she couldn't escape it. She took one more step while she was sprinting and she fell into it.
Everything was black around her, and she felt the fear of uncertainty.
I wanted this chapter to portray something that was an evident theme in Book 4. We should all know that Korra had been battling PTSD after the traumatic events with Zaheer. I know I showed much darker scenes, but knowing the experiences of people in my life, I tried writing it as realistically as possible. If you felt uncomfortable reading, my apologies. Know that none of the chapters from here on out will be that dark in nature. Lastly I wanted to make it evident that Asami knew what Korra was mentally going through, and that she acknowledged that she could not just fix it by being in a relationship with her. Hopefully you all will understand my reasons for this development.
Thank you for the support!