Chapter 26. Hope you enjoy! Thanks so much for all your wonderful reviews from the last chapter. I`m glad you like the story. I promise that the story is going somewhere.
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"So what did he say then?"
"He said that if I wanted to break up and just be friends then he would do it."
Bernie looked skeptical. Couldn`t blame her. We have known each other for too long.
"Sonia, I know you. I know that deep down you want the perfect romance. Maybe you just expected too much too soon from Jacob." She said gently.
"You`re right."
"I mean...I know why you are attracted to him. He is everything you want in a guy. He is stable, he`s nice...well he used to be anyway. He doesn`t judge. All that said, if he can`t see what a great person you are then it`s his loss. My advice is to just to go on with your life, have fun, date other guys."
"Easier said than done Bernz. I have never felt like this before. I could date...but my heart wouldn`t be in it."
"Sonia! Come on! Jacob is such a douche for what he did. You are my best friend Sonia...we have been through so much together. Remember I`ll always be here for you, like you have always been there for me when I needed you."
I looked at Bernie, beautiful Bernadette sitting beside me on my bed, through teary eyes. I pulled her into a tight hug which she returned without hesitation. I decided then that I was going to be the best friend in the world to her. Since Jacob came along I knew I had been neglecting her a little.
"Are you doing something with Ollie tonight?"
"He has to go to some boring family dinner over on the Hoh rez, I skipped out." She gave a mischievous smile.
"How about me and you go bowling?" I suggested excitedly.
"Bowling? Oh man Sonia. We haven`t gone bowling in years." She said, lying back on my bed. I could tell she was into it, despite her bored tone.
"I know! It will be fun. We have have milkshakes and curly fries and chocolate covered peanuts."
"Sure. Why not?" She said laughing. "I will bowl with you."
"Let`s bowl let`s bowl let`s rock and roll." I started to sing, bouncing on my ass on the bed.
"Hey come on let`s get this show on the road." Bernie sang back, laughing a little.
"Let`s bowl let`s bowl let`s rock and roll."
"We`re sitting on a bomb that`s about to explodeeeeeeeeeeeeee" We sang together before rolling around on the bed in hysterical laughter which quickly turned to screams as a giant, shirtless Paul flung open the door of my bedroom. Poor Bernie toppled off the bed and ducked for cover.
"Oh man, the others are going have some good laughs when they see what you two were doing." Paul laughed as he lifted Bernie off the ground like she weighed the same as a bag of air and placed her back on the bed next to me.
"Jesus Christ Paul! Ever hear of knocking?" Bernie snapped, clearly annoyed at having being caught doing something embarrassing.
"What are you doing here?" I asked Paul dangerously. I so didn`t want to see any of the pack for the rest of today. I wanted some time with my best girlfriend before I had to face them all in school tomorrow.
"I`ve come to see how you are. You are my friend after all." He sat down in my desk chair, which groaned threateningly under his weight.
"Friend? Really?"
"Yeah!"
"So where were you when you knew Jacob was emotionally cheating on me?"
"Oh man!" Paul moaned. "What the hell is emotional cheating?"
"Why are you here?"
"To see how you`re doing. Jacob is upset, he wants to know if you are okay." Paul said earnestly. Me and Bernie looked at each other and rolled our eyes.
"Oh please. How`s Bella?" Bernie asked sweetly. Paul looked grim.
"He`s an idiot, I know, but believe me, he never set out to hurt you."
"Me and Bernie are going out now Paul. I don`t think my mom or nana will be happy to find you in our house alone." I got off the bed and grabbed my bag, not wanting to hear what he was saying.
"Going bowling?"
"Yeah."
"How about me and Rachel join you?"
"It`s just me and Sonia tonight Paul." Bernie said, putting on her coat and grabbing her bag.
"Be careful." Paul said, only to me. I knew what he meant. The vampires.
"I will. We will." I was suddenly afraid. I didn`t want anything happening to Bernie.
"What the hell can happen to us in Port Angeles?" Bernie scoffed. "Come on Sonia, I want a milkshake." She went and stood at the doorway, waiting for me to follow. Paul stood up and followed us out.
"We are all here for you Sonia. You are part of this pack as well you know." Paul said as he pulled be back and let Bernie walk ahead and to my car. "If I were you, I would have done the same."
"See you later Paul. See you at school maybe."
"See you at school tomorrow."
Bernie and I had a great time bowling, but I couldn`t shake the feeling that as we were driving to and from Port Angeles, that somebody was following us, not in a car, but hidden, in the trees, in the forest. It unsettled me greatly. I knew Jacob feared for my safety when I was outside La Push, so much so that he would follow me, or get someone else to follow me, without my knowledge. It was an invasion of my privacy. Being part of this, part of the pack as Paul said, nothing can be private anymore. My pain can`t be private. What me and Jacob did together, when we had sex, the whole pack would obviously have had a replay of that.
I dropped Bernie at home and told her I would see her at school tomorrow. I didn`t want her to go but it wasn`t fair of me to dump all my shit on her. I didn`t want to get her down even though I knew she would listen. I didn`t want to be alone, I didn`t want to think about all the shit that happened but I knew it would happen eventually.
"Hey mom, nana." I called as I let myself inside the house.
"Hey babygirl. Everything straightened out between you and Jacob?" My mom called from the bathroom, smoothing her face with cleansing cream.
"Eh yeah...I broke up with him." I said lamely. My nana had come out of her bedroom by now, she looked worried.
"What? Why?" My mom asked.
"He...he was still...seeing...her...that bitch..." I stuttered out, ah..the tears are back.
"Oh for Gods sake!" My mom said, taking me in her arms. "I can`t believe him...seriously...what is the matter with that boy?" She rubbed my back soothingly, giving me little kisses on my cheek.
"He doesn`t love me...well he does...but her loves her more." I sobbed out some more. My mom led me into her bedroom and sat me down on her bed.
"He`s your soulmate. He loves you Sonia. Maybe he thinks he loves Bella but in the end, he will realize that you are the one for him." My nana said, sitting down next to me.
"You sound so sure nana. What am I supposed to do?" I wailed into my moms chest.
"Live your life Sonia. I hope that if I taught you anything it is to be strong." My mom told me, making me look up at her.
"You did. I don`t know if I`m strong enough though."
"You are. I don`t want you to sit around here, miserable. It won`t do you any good. It will just make Jacob the focus of everything in your life. Get out there. Do things. Like you did before."
"You`re right mom." I was starting to get a headache now.
"I know I am. I always am. I`ll pay for some extra dance classes if you want." She coaxed, making me smile a little. "Is my little girl smiling? Is my little Ballerina Girl smiling?" I snorted, remembering the cheesy Lionel Richie song she used to sing to me.
"I love you mom. And you too nana." I drew them into a hug.
"We love you too Sonia. Our little sweetheart. Now, get ready for bed and I`ll make you a hot chocolate." My mom said.
"Can I sleep in with you tonight?" I asked. It was childish I knew but I needed it.
"Of course you can."
I lay beside my mom, unable to sleep. Wondering what Jacob was doing now. Was he with Bella? Was he telling her all the things he told me? A horrible feeling of not being able to breathe hit me when I remembered when he told me how much he loved me, how he lied to my face by telling me how he loved me more than her, how he never felt the way he felt about me for anyone.
"Sonia? What`s the matter?" My mom asked concerned, turning towards me.
"Am I unlovable?"
"What? Of course not!"
"Then why doesn`t he love me?" I cried.
"Oh Sonia..." My mom sighed. "Love is a thing that you can`t push. It can`t be forced. He does love you, but that doesn`t excuse the way he treated you. To lie about how you feel...it`s the worst thing anybody can do."
"I love him so much mom...and it will never go...that`s the scary thing."
"I know...I know. Just, take my advice. Live. Be strong. Don`t sit around waiting for him. Don`t be a fool because, if what you told me is true, then he isn`t in love with you. He might never fall in love with you Sonia."
"Oh God." I choked out. My mom took me in her arms.
"I`m not saying this to be a bitch. It needs to be said. And I`m sorry I pushed you into asking him out. That was a mistake. A big one."
"I know mom."
"You are just too young. This happened too soon. I`m sorry baby."
That night, when I eventually fell asleep, I dreamed of the cave. I was drawn to it again, it`s entrance semi hidden by an overgrowth of weeds and a tangle of roots. Despite the lush greenness of everything around it, the flora surrounding the cave was dead, twisted, not natural. It called to me, like it had a life of its own, it seemed like it was actually breathing, and whatever was inside was calling my name, softly, almost a whisper that was too low to hear, but I heard it.
The old fear overtook me as I stood at the entrance, extending my hand out to brush away the overgrowth. It was smaller than I remembered, but I couldn`t remember, I didn`t want to remember. A soft whining made me turn around. The raccoon. It stood still watching me, it`s cute little black mask making it seem like a little thief. It hissed as I pushed away more of the undergrowth. Wait, I was not supposed to go in here! I can`t go in there again! I mustn`t! The smell of decay...the unmistakable odor of death, of corruption was growing stronger. It was making me nauseous but I couldn`t back away, my hand was frozen in the same position as, whatever lived in that cave, was coming closer.
Then the laughter, it began again, echoing against the walls in the cave, sounding so close yet far away. The inhuman laughter, the sound of it made my blood freeze. I could hear the raccoon making more hissing and growling noises, telling me to run, to get the hell out of there. That is was dangerous. Why couldn`t I move my stupid body? Whatever lived in there was getting closer. I could hear it. Oh God...Oh please no...not again...
"You can`t cheat fate Sonia...no matter how hard you fight it...you can`t cheat it, you won`t be able to cheat me again...Jacob won`t save you...he won`t want to...neither will he...the one that was too weak to save his soul mate..." The horrible voice echoed from the cave, so close, he`s close now. "I`m back Sonia...and this time...nobody will stop me..." The raccoons growling and hissing was becoming more incessant, and I was growing more and more terrified. Creeping out of the dead weeds, a boney white, mottled hand appeared, inching it`s way towards mine. Maggots were eating away the flesh in some places and a whole host of disgusting insects were crawling on it. Revulsion and fear took over now, as I finally snapped my hand back and stumbled backwards.
"This is only the beginning imprint, I will be set free soon enough. And then, then the whole tribe will deal with my wrath. The Quileute will pay for turning me away, for sending me into this limbo. You will all burn, you will all bleed, you will be wiped out. I will feast on you first...on that beautiful body of yours...until all that`s left is bones."
I woke up in a cold sweat. The laughter of whatever that was still running through my head. I couldn`t move...the terror was still ripe. Finally, the laughter died away and I could hear my moms soft snore and feel the warmth of her body beside mine. Satisfied that she was alive, and safe, I creeped out of the bed and into my nana`s room. She was breathing as well.
I went into the kitchen and sat at the table. How could I have forgotten that? Oh God! The memories came flooding back, like a movie reel, going too fast to make sense, to separate. I had been at that cave before. Years ago, when I went missing for a couple of hours in the woods and mom and nana had called the police looking for me.
My mom was sick with worry. I remember that. When they found me and I couldn`t remember where I had been and I was all dirty and cut up. I was taken to the hospital to be checked out, and the nice doctor and police women asked me if a bad man had touched me anywhere, had made me do anything. Holy Jesus...I had said no. I didn`t remember any bad man, I didn`t want to remember what had happened in that cave. So eventually my mom and nana stopped asking me when they were satisfied that I hadn`t been sexually molested. I had gotten lost, I was scared that I couldn`t find my mommy, that`s why I was hysterical. It was forgotten about, buried. It was something that I didn`t want to dig up again. Was it even real? Maybe it was just a horrible nightmare?
"Sonia?" Jacob`s concerned voice startled me, making me jump in my seat.
"Oh God Jacob...what are you doing here?" I said, looking up at him. He looked concerned, and tired. Like he hadn`t slept in days.
"I had a feeling...that you were in trouble or something." He said.
"I`m okay Jacob. Can you close the door? It`s freezing out." He came in and shut the door behind him.
"There`s something up. You can tell me you know. We are supposed to be friends now no?"
"I just had a nightmare is all." I said, looking at the clock on the wall. It was four thirty.
"A nightmare? Are you sure?" He sat down next to me.
"Yeah, I`m sure."
"About what? It must have been real bad if I felt it too."
"How did you feel?"
"Like I was terrified. I was terrified! The most I felt in my life."
"How did you know it was from me?"
"I knew. You could call it an imprint sense or something. What did you dream about?"
"When I was about six, I got lost in the woods for a couple of hours. I just dreamed about it again, I hadn`t in years."
"I never knew you got lost in the woods."
"I had forgotten. Honestly, I just blocked it out."
"What happened when you were in the woods?"
I looked at Jacob, debating on whether or not I should tell him about the thing in the cave.
"Do you think evil things live in the woods?" I asked him instead.
"You mean leeches?"
"No. I mean other things. Different things."
"I don`t think so...why do you ask?"
"Do you think that evil spirits are still around us?"
"Evil spirits?" Jacob scoffed. "Come on Sonia...like a baykok or something?"
"Forget it."
"I`m sorry Sonia. You are just a bit freaked out over the dream I think."
"Probably." I said standing up. I was beginning to get uncomfortable with him here. But I didn`t want him to leave, I was still a bit afraid.
"You should go back to bed." Jacob said, standing up and heading for the door. "I`ll stay outside until you wake up."
"You don`t have to."
"I want to. Even if it was just a dream that scared you, I want you to feel safe."
"A dream can`t hurt me. You don`t have to stay Jacob."
"If you don`t want me to stay around then I won`t. It`s what you want."
"You go home, or patrol, or Bella`s. Do what you want."
"If I want to stay here?"
"I don`t want you to." I said, turning off the kitchen lights and heading back to my moms room to sleep. I heard the back door gently close as Jacob left. I didn`t know if he stayed outside...it felt like he did though. I felt a little safer, but the things voice still echoed in my head..."He won`t protect you...he won`t want to..." It felt ominous. Was it telling the truth? Oh God...it said it was going to wipe out the tribe...all of us. Every man, woman and child. Every Quileute. My mom...my nana. Everyone. I hoped to God that it was just a dream. I prayed it was.
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