Chapter 29. Hope you enjoy. And thank you so so so much for the reviews from the last chapter. You guys are amazing. Well, happy reading. This chapter isn`t as long as the last one but I think it`s the perfect length for what`s going to happen. Remember to review at the end. Tell me what you think.
"You want to talk about things?" Sam asked me kindly.
"No!" I said a bit too bitchily. I sighed and glanced at Sam sitting beside me in the car. "I`m sorry Sam. I just don`t know what to say."
"It`s a terrible situation. Jacob is just making it worse, he can`t help it though. Bella is just here for the time being I suppose."
"It`s something I have to deal with I think." I said as I turned onto my street and parked in front of my house.
"You don`t have to do anything you don`t want to Sonia. I know what Jacob has said to you, he is pretty determined on getting you back, but that doesn`t mean that you have to play by his rules. If you want to see other guys, I promise you Jacob won`t get in your way."
"Sam! You know Jacob better than I do. There`s no way he`ll stand by and let another guy come near me." I laughed a little. It was a sad thought. Even if I wanted to date another guy Jacob would fuck it up.
"I`ll alpha order him, if that`s what you want. Jacob has no right to tell you what to do, especially when he`s still seeing Bella. It would be like me still seeing Leah and hurting Emily, it`s not fair on either girl."
"What`s the deal with you and Leah and Emily anyway?" I had to ask. Sam looked pained.
"If we are being honest with each other.." Sam said, smiling a little.
"We are."
"I still love Leah, I do really, but Emily is my imprint. Everything changed with that one little look.." He seemed a bit far off for a while. "If Leah wanted now to be with someone else, it would hurt me, but I wouldn`t stand in her way. I love her enough to want to see happy."
"So Jacob feels for me like you feel for Leah?"
"No no no. He feels for Bella like what I feel for Leah. They are both past loves, although I had much more with Leah than Jacob ever had with Bella. The imprint changes everything, believe me. Jacob loves you more than anything in the world. Anything and anyone. He`s messed up though. Bella messed him up bad. He thinks that the love that they have, if you can even call it love, is something that can save her. He`s like obsessed with keeping her human, and he thinks that his love will do it, or that she will stay human for love, as if that is the only reason." Sam sounded a bit disgusted. "He doesn`t want to admit that he`s fighting a losing battle."
"He loves her."
"He does, but he loves you too. More than he loves her...and don`t make that face..it`s true. And I`m glad that you are mature enough to let Jacob`s thing with Bella just run it`s course, because we both know that it`s not going to go anywhere good."
"You loved Leah yes?"
"So much."
"So why aren`t you and Leah like Jacob and Bella now?"
"My relationship with Leah was damaged even before Emily came along. I couldn`t tell Leah what I had become. I hated lying to her but I had to. I hated the look of sadness and disappointment on her face when she knew I wasn`t telling her the truth."
"That`s horrible."
"I know it is. And now, I have to listen to Leah`s thoughts, she has to listen to mine, it`s too much sometimes. Knowing I`m the reason that she`s upset, and mad."
"Have you even tried talking to her?"
"Not really."
"Oh Sam!"
"It`s not easy."
"For her either. I think you should talk to her, acknowledge what you had together, talk to her about her dad, and most important, acknowledge that, just because her love for you isn`t imprinting, that it`s still valid." Sam looked at me strange.
"How the hell can a seventeen year old know so much?"
"I listen. And I`m pretty dumb when it comes to other things."
"Now I know why Jacob imprinted on you." Sam said regarding me. "At the beginning I wasn`t so sure but now...I get it."
"I don`t really know how to take that Sam."
"Hopefully not the wrong way Sonia. The imprint is supposed to make the wolf stronger I think...and visa versa. Jacob can be a selfish person sometimes, well, a lot of the time. But you, you call him out on it, you make him acknowledge it. Being in his head half the time I should know, you bring out the best in him. His good qualities."
"He seems happier around Bella though."
"No...not really. That`s your insecurities telling you so. You didn`t see him watching you when you and Embry were talking. It was like he was watching the most interesting discussion ever, you had his attention. Now, Bella has to try really hard to get his attention. All you have to do is to be in the same room and he is yours."
"You don`t have to say all this Sam."
"You need to hear it Sonia. You know what Jacob`s favorite memory of you is?"
"What?"
"All of them."
"Give me a break." I couldn`t help but smile though.
"It`s the truth."
"You`re such a girl." I elbowed Sam in the ribs a little. He laughed a bit and got out of the car. I followed suit and got out too. "I suppose you have to get back to the meeting now."
"No. You are part of the pack, and the pack comes first. Bella and her problems can wait." Sam smiled at me.
"Okay...come on in." I let him into the house. "Hey nana." I called.
"Hello Sonia." My nana came out of her room and smiled at me and Sam. "Samuel."
"Mrs. Mara." Sam greeted my nana with a handshake.
"Do you two want to see something interesting?" My nana asked, motioning for us to follow her.
"Sure." I shrugged at Sam who looked a bit perplexed. We followed her into her lavender smelling bedroom. She offered Sam her desk chair and I sat down on the bed. She took an ancient looking photo album down from her shelf and gave it to Sam.
"Since we are all from the Uley line...you and Sonia are cousins, distant cousins, but cousins nonetheless."
"That`s true." Sam said, opening the album. I lent over and studied the first pictures. Some were sepia, others were black and white.
"That`s Levi Uley, my father." Wow. One of the original wolves who made the treaty with the Cullen`s. Me and Sam studied the picture interestedly. It was a very young Levi, from the thirties it seemed. You could clearly see the power and strength that he possessed. He was posing on first beach, you could see James Island in the distance, never changing.
"This is amazing Mrs. Mara." Sam said, awed, his eyes never leaving the picture. "And you knew him!"
"Well he was my father!" My nana smiled, patting his shoulder.
"What was he like?" Sam asked.
"A lot like you. Serious, responsible. He was a great father Sam."
"Really?" Sam asked, suddenly seeming younger than he looked.
"Yes Sam."
"For a while...I thought that being a Uley...was a curse. Because of my dad you know."
"You can`t change who your father is Sam. You are your own person, you are not him." My nana said sternly, leaving me and Sam together, saying she was going to make some tea.
"Do you remember your dad?" I asked Sam, curious.
"A little, how about you?" Sam countered.
"Little things, stupid things. Like when he used to argue with my mom, and once when he got me a pet rabbit when I was four."
"What a mix. I don`t really remember Joshua, as I call him. He doesn`t deserve to be called dad." Sam sounded so bitter.
"I get you Sam. At least your dad didn`t rob a gas station with a gun and get himself arrested."
"I wouldn`t know. I don`t even know if he`s alive! No contact in over fifteen years. Son of a bitch." Sam looked angry but quickly checked himself.
"Sucks right? My dad doesn`t want to know me either."
"It`s his loss Sonia."
"And Joshua`s too. So...what else is in the mystery album?"
"Let`s see." Sam said, turning the pages.
We looked at many photos of the original pack, Ephraim Black, Levi Uley and Quil Alteara I. It was cool, and a bit spooky. You could clearly see the new wolves in the old ones faces. It was nuts. There were also pictures of their wives, all of them imprints, looking proud sitting together or with their children. My nana came back with the tea eventually. Sam looked ridiculous with the delicate blue china cup in his huge hands. He had to hold it in his palm because his finger couldn`t fit through the finger hold. Sam asked her a lot of questions about the old pack, so much so that my nana promised to write down everything that she remembered from back then, she was pushing seventy-two after all.
I walked Sam outside after he said he needed to head back for the meeting. I was grateful to him, truly grateful, for him coming home with me, for talking to me, and listening. He thanked me for listening too, for the advice, and gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead, which I giggled at. After that I cleaned the tea cups and sat down at my desk with the album, looking at the photo of Ephraim Black, looking for Jacob`s likeness there. I could see a little, around the eyes, the jaw, the way he held himself. But he wasn`t Jacob. I sighed and closed the album, looking at the worn leather cover with Uley stamped on it in gold lettering. I was a part of this, a part of the pack. I wondered if my great grandchildren would be looking at photos of me in the future. Would I be in a photo album with Black stamped on it? Or would I be in a random one labeled unwanted imprint? A picture of me, sullen faced, sitting alone, angry and bitter at the way things turned out.
I returned the album to it`s shelf in my nana`s room and wandered outside to the back garden, mulling over what Sam had said to me. I shouldn`t play by Jacob`s rules, he was right. I would let Jacob chase after Bella all he wants. I would let him fight his losing battle for her humanity. I decided there and then that whatever happened, however this shit turned out, that I wouldn`t be sitting alone in any photo. Whether it was with Jacob or another man, I wasn`t going to grow old pining after him.
"Sam is turning out to be a good young man." My nana said from the kitchen.
"He is isn`t he." I said, going back inside.
"He is a good alpha. Jacob is much too immature now to take responsibility."
"Jacob doesn`t want it."
"And if he does in the future? Do you think Sam would step aside?" It was something I had never really thought about. "Jacob is the rightful alpha you know. That makes you the female alpha."
"As long as Jacob wants to be the alpha. Now I`m the female beta."
"So how is Jacob?"
"Jacob is being Jacob." I said as I opened the fridge. "Nana...do you remember when I went missing?" I asked carefully, eyeing her as she chopped some tomatoes with her back to me. She lifted her head and stiffened.
"I could never forget that day sweetheart." She took a deep breath and went on chopping.
"I have forgotten." I said, taking out the steaks for tonight`s dinner, and getting the things to marinate them.
"I don`t blame you for forgetting. We all wanted to forget that day."
"Did you though?"
"No, I could never Sonia. I can never forget it." She put down the knife and gripped the kitchen counter with both hands, her shoulders hunched, she suddenly seemed a lot older to me.
"Nana, I dreamed of it last night..." I choked out. I watched her shake her head.
"No...no no no..." She spun around so suddenly that I dropped one of the steaks. "You can`t have...please tell me that you didn`t." Her eyes were wide with fear, a wild fear, that came and went so suddenly when my nana checked herself.
"You`re scaring me. What happened? Where was I found?"
"You were found in the forest, so far out, crying...bleeding...oh Jesus!" My nana started to cry.
"Oh nana!" I cried and wrapped my arms around her. "It`s okay! I`m okay." I hated seeing her like this...so vulnerable. She seemed so small as I hugged her.
"It`s not okay! I knew this day would come...eventually...I knew you would remember."
"But I don`t."
"You will...and when you do..." She pulled herself away from me and wiped her eyes on the tea towel. She took some time to calm herself, taking deep breaths and looking anywhere but at me.
"What do you know?" I asked. I needed to know what she knew.
"Not what you know...when you went missing...during that time...your mother and I...we knew that you were in trouble...I knew you were scared...terrified. My father told me once...that the things our people believed in...that we thought existed exist. Old things. Things older than us. We might be Catholic but that is a religion brought to us when the white man came. In our hearts, in our souls are are the children of this land. We worshipped our own Gods. We were in tune with nature. Vampires exist Sonia...why not other bad things? It all about balance. The yin and yang of nature. One can`t exist without the other. The wolves wouldn`t exist without the vampires. But when one becomes more dominant, when it`s energy threatens to overflow, like a river when it bursts it`s banks, it destroys. It washes away the good."
"What bad things?" I urged but she shook her head.
"That`s for only you to know...since you were the one that found it...you awoke him."
"Who is him?"
"I can`t tell you because...because its..." My nana suddenly clutched at her left arm, her face turning a horrible red color. Oh God...oh god no!
"Nana!" I shouted, catching her just as she fell to the floor. I lay her down gently, terrified, not knowing what to do. She clutched at my hand with a brute strength.
"Sonia...please..." She whispered out in a horribly strained voice.
"It`s okay! Your gonna be fine!" I stood up and tore the phone out from its holder, fumbling twice trying to call 911.
"911. What`s the emergency?"
"Please...please...my nana...she needs an ambulance."
"Address?"
"5 Ocean Drive La Push...please hurry!" I said. When I hung up I dialed Leah`s number, hoping she was with her mom and not phased.
"Hello?" Leah answered.
"Leah...please...please." I sobbed out.
"Sonia! What? What`s going on?" Leah said, worried.
"Your mom...get your mom...my nana..." I cried out some more, looking at my little nana lying on the floor, her body not moving. I dropped the phone and went down on my knees beside her.
"Oh please nana, please be okay..." I cried, not wanting to check any vitals, not wanting to know if she could hear me or not. Taking her hand, I prayed for the first time in years. I repeated the Our Father and prayed with all my soul to let her be okay. I heard a car screech to a halt outside and Sue Clearwater, followed by Leah and Sam came bursting through the kitchen door.
"Please...please Mrs. Clearwater..." Sue ignored me and knelt beside my nana, checking her pulse while Leah wrapped her arms around me, telling me it`s going to be okay.
"You called an ambulance?" Sue asked.
"Yes...is she okay? Is she..." I couldn`t say it.
"She`s alive." Sue said. Oh thank you God. Thank you thank you.
"My mom..."
"I`ll call her." Sam said, picking up the phone. I could hear the sirens of the ambulance approach, and knelt beside my nana again.
"I love you nana, you`re going to be fine. I promise you." I patted her hair, black peppered with grey, beautiful hair. Her eyes were closed, the lids looked papery thin.
"I called your mom. She`ll meet us the the hospital with Michael." Sam told me, rubbing my shoulder. I nodded, not finding any words. "Jacob`s coming." He told me. I nodded again as I watched two paramedics come in and placed my nana on a stretcher, getting her ready to go to the hospital. I followed them out, and into the ambulance.
"Sonia!" I heard Jacob yell, he seemed so far away, and I didn`t turn to see where his voice was coming from. I took a firm hold on my nana`s hand and gave it a kiss. "Sonia!" I heard him shout again, sounding closer this time. The doors of the ambulance were slammed shut and we were away.
"You are going to be fine..you`ll be okay." I chanted over and over again that it almost turned into a prayer of its own. She couldn`t...die...she couldn`t leave me...and my mom. Not yet...it wasn`t her time.
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