hey guys! thanks for all the wonderful reviews from the last chapter! You guys are great for sticking with me after my disappearance. I have had so much work lately, and since the weather has picked up in sunny Spain I had to take advantage. But now I`m back and so is Sonia. What`s going to happen next? Happy reading and remember to review at the end. It only takes a second and your feedback is amazing!

What was with all the guilt I was feeling? All I did was meet up with Edward. Sure, he was a leech, a dangerous monster that could kill me if he wanted to, but he didn`t, so what did I do so wrong? Ah crap. I know what I did was stupid, idiotic, and utterly dangerous, but a really big part of me, if I was being honest, wanted Jacob to take notice of me again, to pursue me again. I needed him and I wanted him but I was too proud and too smart to admit it. I wanted Jacob on his knees before I could ever take him back. And I was jealous, so horribly jealous of the time he was spending with Bella that I would hurt Jacob by spending time with the one person he hated the most. Edward.

It was a dangerous and moronic game to play. Men after all are simple creatures my mom would tell me. They don`t like or respond well to these types of games. And Jacob? I knew he would be angry, me stinking of leech and all that. Faking a bravado I sure as hell didn`t feel I slowed down the car and made my face an impassive mask. I killed the engine and stopped about ten feet in front of him. Don`t sweat don`t fret. Jacob would never hurt me.

As soon as I stopped he strode over to my side of the car and rapped on the window like a cop. I cringed inwardly as I looked hesitantly at his perfect abdomen before opening the door an inch to show I was getting out. He backed off and went and stood at the border of the woods. Studying him I could see how angry he was, he was shaking his head and muttering under his breath. I got out of the car and stood nervously at the hood of my car. I wanted so bad just to hop back in and drive away, but I wasn`t a coward. I did this, I knew what would happen, I needed to face him.

"How did you find out?" I asked him, breaking the angry silence. He turned to face me, his face a picture of disgust.

"You were seen!" He hissed at me. "With him! HIM! Of all people." He laughed bitterly. "I don`t understand you."

"Who saw us?" I asked, curious despite my fear.

"Marcii Cameron. She was driving past the diner and saw you with one of the Cullens. The bronze haired one she said. She called Jared, who called me."

"And why is that so bad?" I asked, pushing it. Jacob looked incredulous. "I mean. If if Bella goes out with him then..."

"SHUT UP! Don`t even!" He yelled, striding towards me and closing the gap between us in a matter of seconds. "Do you have some sort of a death wish? Or are you just doing this to hurt me?"

"No!" I yelled back.

"Then why? Do you...do...please don`t tell me you`ve met him before. Don`t tell me you like him." He said, so pained. I looked down at the ground.

"Don`t be so gross. Of course I don`t like him! This is the first and only time I`ve met him."

"Why did you? He`s the enemy! How could you have been so stupid?" He placed his hands on my upper arms, firmly but not painfully, although his fury was still rolling off him in waves.

"I was curious. I wanted to hear what he had to say." I said flatly.

"So he called you. I`ll fucking kill him. Tear him limb from limb." Jacob growled. "The fucking nerve...calling my imprint. You would think he would be satisfied taking Bella from me."

"Don`t worry, he`s just as obsessed with her as you are." I retorted angrily, struggling out of his grasp.

"Don`t start Sonia. You are never seeing him again! Got it?"

"You can`t tell me what to do!"

"I`m keeping you safe! Why would you even want to see him again? For his car? His expensive clothes? His money?" He asked nastily. He really did think the worst of me. I was not going to tell him the reason was to talk about him.

"Think what you want Jacob. It`s none of your business as to why I saw Edward. Why don`t you ask Bella the same questions? I bet you don`t shout at her after she spends time with him."

"This is nothing got to do with her! It`s about you!"

"What about me? WHAT?" I snarled like an angry dog.

"You are one of us! Part of the pack! There shouldn`t be any reason why you would even want to be near any of them. You have to connection to any of them! You are Quileute!"

"I know what I am and where my loyalties lie!"

"Start acting like it then! The rest of the pack are furious with you. That you would betray us like that."

"Stop being so dramatic! The rest of the pack and you overall Jacob welcomed Bella back with open arms after she ran back to her precious leeches."

"That`s different." He whispered.

"That`s right. When it comes to her the rules don`t apply. Anything for the saintly Bella. Well sinners have souls too Jacob." I turned away from him and to the drivers door. When I went to open it Jacob stopped me.

"We`re not finished yet. You are going to talk to me properly. I`m not going to let you run away."

"How well do you think you know me Jacob?" I asked him.

"I know you pretty well I think." He said, taken aback a bit.

"Then tell me why I went to see Edward." I let go of the door handle and Jacob let his hand drop from my arm.

"You went to hurt me."

"No Jacob." I shook my head.

"Then why?"

"Because...cause all this is killing me. How could you not know? Not realize?"

"I know you are still grieving for your nana but you didn`t need to run to see Edward to get some kick about feeling alive." This time it was my turn to look incredulous.

"Kick about feeling alive? You think this was about nana?"

"Please Sonia, just tell me. Just open up." There was a note of pleading under his angry exterior.

"I...I can`t...I can`t trust you." Jacob didn`t say anything for a long time.

"I know I let you down before...But I promised I wouldn`t do it again."

"You did. But you have yet to make good on another promise."

"I gave you all the space you wanted! What more do you want?" He was getting angry again.

"That`s true. I`ll give you that. But you also promised you would win me back too remember." I faced him fully, let myself look into the dark depths of his eyes for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"I did." He whispered, his voice husky.

"Seems like you forgot about that promise since Bella got herself into some more trouble."

"I haven`t forgotten Sonia." He whispered, stepping in closer. "So you did this...to get my attention?" He asked softly. "To make me jealous?"

"What do you think?" I could feel his breath on my face now.

"I think you`re crazy." He said seriously. I looked up at his face and he looked grim. "I think you`re acting like a stupid little girl." He spat. "If that is really the reason then..." He didn`t finish. I felt humiliated. I got burnt big time.

"I`m going home." I said in a rush to be away from him.

"I told your mom." He called after me. I spun around on my feet at his words of betrayal.

"You what?"

"She was pretty pissed too. Don`t be surprised if you are grounded until you are fifty."

"Fucking jerk."

"Just looking out for you. I know you won`t listen to me. You might listen to Sam if it suits you but I know the one person you would never dare to disobey is your mom."

"I hate you." I whispered angrily. "I would never sell you out like that."

"When it comes to your safety, when it comes to keeping you alive and free from harm, I would happily do it again."

"You`re sick!" I got into my car and sped off. Shit FUCK FUCK FUCK! When I get home... oh God. She`s gonna kill me! She`s gonna be so fucking mad.

The feeling of apprehension grew into full blown horror as I got to my house and saw my mom waiting at the open front door white faced and tight lipped, her arms crossed underneath her full bosom. She looked so rigid with quiet anger that she would snap at any moment. I was so in for it.

The screaming tirade started the minute she shut the front door behind me. How could I have been so stupid? Stupid was really turning into peoples definition of me today! How could I have been so careless with my own life? What was I thinking? Was I really that stupid? I was grounded until she said so. No friends. No going out. No internet. No phone. No dance class. One more step out of line and she was sending me to Catholic School in Port Angeles. After her rant she sent me to my room.

I was too scared to even cry. I had never seen my mom so angry. Never like that. I had let her down big time. Scared her horribly. I knew it was my fault but I couldn`t help but blame Jacob. He should have kept his big mouth shut! Urghh. I couldn`t go to dance class! That was the one that fucked me over the most. I knew my mom wanted me to start thinking more realistically about my future. Go to community college and get some sort of technical degree or diploma that would enable me to make a good living when I`m older. Now she will be watching me like a hawk and breathing down my neck to study more.

"Sonia." My mom barged into my room with her phone in her hand. "You are resigning from work tomorrow and going to work for the tribal council." What?

"But mom! I need the money!"

"Don`t you dare argue with me!" She said dangerously. "You are staying safe here, in the rez. The tribal council is going to give you work."

"Doing what?"

"What they see fit. You`re dinner is in the fridge. Eat it then go straight to bed." She slammed the door behind her leaving me feeling more dejected than ever. I liked my little job. I sure as hell didn`t want to leave Jim high and dry. Mom would have to understand that surely! Working for the council? They don`t even pay! Why was I being punished so much for one little mistake? It wasn`t as if I was planning to run off and elope with Edward.

After I had finished my dinner and brushed my teeth I wished my mom a good night which she responded to with a grunt I went to bed. Looking up at my glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling I found I couldn`t go to sleep. I was too wound up. Too uptight. I couldn`t get comfortable. I reflected dumbly that my period was going to come soon and that I needed tampons.

I eventually feel into a fitful, disturbed sleep. Dreaming in random order of the cave, the raccoon, Jacob and Bella having sex and Edward watching from a closet recording it on his iPhone and me being in maths class wearing nothing on my lower half.

When I woke up it was only about six in the morning. This was no time to wake up on a Sunday. It was unGodly. Tip toeing my way into the kitchen I made a chocolate milk and stood at the back door looking out into the yard. It was dark and raining. Gloomy in other words. Not a nice day to wake up to. Lost in thought the sudden smell of lavender made me shiver. The smell of nana. As quick as it came it went. I was tempted to go into her room but I knew my mom would kill me if I did. She had taken nana`s death pretty hard. We both did. I knew I would have to work extra hard on winning moms trust back. The best way to do it was to just give in to all her demands. Crazy and otherwise.

What a mess I had made of everything. What a stupid game to play. Jacob had made no comment on whether he still wanted me or not. Not one word. And I had given too much away to boot! Maybe he had gotten sick of me being an ice queen. Maybe he didn`t want to wait for me to thaw out. It seemed like he didn`t want to win be back after all.

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