Disclaimer: The following disclaimer is a re-run. We hope you enjoy it anyway.
This is the fic that I started before we met
Now that you've read it, leaves me with a kind of regret
No disrespect, but Nintendo might get a bit upset
Cause what I wrote really isn't what they'd want to permit
Fic that I started before we met
I hope you like it, else I'll be filled up with regret
All due respect to the people on Fan Fiction dot net
Cause what I wrote really isn't what you'd ever expect
Well, I Choose You! And other such phrases
Haven't read a fic like this in ages
To skip such a fic would be just outrageous
Though the plot as of late is just weird and aimless
DoOon't own don't OOOOOWN, DooOOn't OOOOOoooown. NOOOOoooo. NOOOO.
DoOon't own don't OOOOOWN, DooOOn't OOOOOoooown. NOOOOoooo. Don't Own.
As always, five hundred points to any person who correctly identifies the parodied song!
Chapter 32: Innately Awesome
Shelligan
The celebration in Severna was indeed magnificent! I wish I had been there to see Qwill's glorious victory, but it was more than enough to hear the story told by the titan Goliath, boasting "he knew the little spud had it in him the whole time". There was dance, song (including a particularly grand performance by our very own Medici), and the greatest Northern-Style Barbeque I'd tasted in the entirety of my life!
The morning after, Amber embraced her father, who did his best not to tear up as he saw his daughter walk away. Gold also gave a stern command to Vanna, telling her to watch after 'his wee lass', and she happily agreed, kissing him goodbye on the cheek. With a loud, bellowing yell, the whole of Severna's Gym waved us goodbye, and we made our exit like a veritable band of heroes.
And so, a glorious new day dawns as we wind our way through the mountain paths leading to our next stop, Maxilla! Occasionally, we pause to take a deep breath of crisp, snow-scented air and watch in awe as small white flakes descend upon the rocky countryside, occasionally strewn with patches of boreal forest. Ahead of me, a meditative Treecko, a chatty Meditite, and a gorgeous Gardevoir; to my left, a redheaded Breeder; to my right, an energetic Gym Leader and her 'gentlemanly' Gallant partner. A classic group of young protagonists, boldly trekking towards… wait. Something's missing.
"Where's Axel?" I squirted.
Medici stopped, turning around with mild confusion. "Wait… where did Axel go?"
Vanna and Amber stopped behind me. "He was just here a second ago…" Vanna mused.
"He probably got distracted," Amber sighed, slowly turning around and walking back down the path. Sure enough, Axel had stopped alongside the road and was squatting, examining something in the distance.
"Axel!" Amber scolded. "Could you at least tell us when you're going to stop all of a sudden? For all we know, you could've…"
"Sh," Axel shushed her, to the amazement of all.
For Axel to interrupt Amber, to actually command her not to speak, something serious must be happening. I strained my eyes and scoured the nearby patch of woods, searching for what had grabbed Axel's attention. I couldn't see anything of importance, however.
Vanna, after looking around, was the first to cave. "What are we looking at, Axel?" she whispered.
Axel pointed down the small slope, at what appeared to be a small rock moving around on its own. "That Dwebble," he said, "is interesting."
We all let out a collective sigh of frustration, accompanied by the sharp crack of Amber's hand meeting the back of Axel's head. "Don't make us worry like that!" she reprimanded him.
"Sorry," Axel blushed. "I just don't want you to accidentally scare it away. You don't see Pokémon like this very often."
Amber paused for a moment, looking back at the Dwebble with confusion. "I'm sorry, I can't really see with this light, is it Shiny or…"
"No, no, nothing like that," Axel explained, looking over at Vanna. "You see it, right? A Gym Leader's got to have an eye for this sort of thing."
Vanna, bless her heart, examined that Dwebble as if it were a piece of modern art, searching for the hidden uniqueness in the otherwise ordinary looking Pokémon. After an eternity lasting about five minutes, she slumped visibly, admitting defeat. "I… I don't see it, Axel. Why is the Dwebble so interesting?"
"That Dwebble," Axel explained, leaning in as if telling a secret to all of us, "is innately awesome."
The rest of the group gave another collective sigh, not fully understanding the meaning of the statement. I, however, immediately recalled the first day my trainer Barnum and I had ever met Axel, and couldn't help but feel jealous.
It had been a more successful day than usual. Barnum and I had finally gotten a decently permanent job as performers in the Sunfall Circus, a fixture in the town of the same name. I had flipped through a flaming hoop for the first time, and gotten my first taste of that delicious, intoxicating concoction called 'audience adoration.' Barnum, following rule 12: 'Always Celebrate Success', had ordered a bushel of fresh fruit from what was purported to be the finest grocer in the land.
Oddly, after the show was over, the basket had still not arrived, even though we had been assured it would be here by midday. Barnum, a tad bit upset, was preparing to call the store when a knock was heard at the door, and who should be there but a young boy in a ridiculously light blue uniform with a Cyndaquil on his shoulder.
"Hi! I'm Axel, from Munson's grocer," he greeted us. "Sorry I'm late, but I got here around the time the circus started and… well, I'd never been to a circus before."
"Ah! Well that's understandable," Barnum smiled (rule 9: Forgive and Forget). "What'd you think?"
"It was OK," Axel shrugged. "Except for that Squirtle, I mean. You're pretty lucky, having a Pokémon so innately awesome. He was great!" He sighed, handing the basket of fresh fruit over to Barnum "But here I am talking and I'm already late enough to merit a full day's dock in lunch. This'll be fun. Totally worth it, though." He smiled, giving a salute. "Bye now!"
It was an odd first meeting, yes. But Barnum was always one for such things, and vowed at that moment to only ever order food from Munson's grocer. Since Axel was apparently the only deliveryman they had (or, as I later found out, the only other employee Mr. Munson had), the two soon became fast friends.
Between all the times I'd seen Axel before Barnum's death and all the time I've spent with him afterwards, the only other Pokémon he'd ever described as 'innately awesome' was his own Cyndaquil. It was a term he didn't use lightly, and for this Dwebble on the side of the road to merit it, it must be very special indeed.
Quelling my envy with expert showmanship, I queried Axel as expressively as possible, trying to get across the message: "Would you like me to help you capture it?"
Axel looked down at me and smiled. "Nah, not yet, buddy. A Pokémon like that's got a mission in life. Let's see if we can give it a hand first, eh?" Saying this, he stood up, then carefully slid his way down the slope of the hill. I followed out of equal parts trust, interest, and obligation, and the rest of the group followed suit.
The Dwebble, upon seeing Axel draw near, acted opposite as I'd expect it to, snapping its claws as a warning instead of retreating into its shell. Axel put his hands in the air, showing that he wasn't carrying any Pokéballs, and knelt down about five feet in front of it. "Hi! My name's Axel Jackson. How you doing?"
This was the greatest thing about Axel, in my humble opinion; that he talked to us Pokémon as equals, regardless of how long he'd known them.
The Dwebble, seemingly not taken aback, responded immediately: "Dweb DWEBBLE dweb, Dwebebble EBBLE DWEB DWEB!"
Axel looked over at Medici. "Translation?"
"In English?" The Meditite remarked. "It translated to… Dweb DWEBBLE dweb, Dwebebble EBBLE DWEB DWEB!"
This time, Amber's hand found the back of Medici's head. "Be serious!"
"I am being serious!" Medici defended himself, rubbing the back of his cranium. "That's what it said! It was basically gibberish… in fact; I believe in gibberish it translates to "Argle BLARGLE brag, FRICKETY FRACKETY Henry Cavendish."
"We get it," Amber groaned, sighing into her palm.
"Don't you speak gibberish, Gallant?" I addressed the Gallade. "Perhaps you could be of help?"
"I haven't the foggiest idea what you're prattling on about you incorrigible ragamuffin," he spat back.
Right.
More than likely, I would have continued teasing the Gallade: his short temper made it quite enjoyable, believe it or not. My attention was captured, however, by Gardevoir, who had taken to scribbling something hastily on her pad.
It's hurting her note read.
"What's hurting?" Vanna asked, concerned. "Are you…"
"What? What's hurting? Where? When? Why?" Medici had, of course, inserted himself into the situation, and was now hovering up at Gardevoir's eye level. "Breathe! Easy now, in, out, in out! Focus Energy! Quick, how many feet am I hovering above the ground right now?"
Gardevoir, turning from leaf green to cotton candy pink, scribbled even faster on the pad. Not me. The Dwebble; it's hurting. Sorry for the confusion. As an afterthought, she wrote another note, this one reading: Two and a half feet. I think.
"Phew," Medici said, wiping his brow and returning to the ground. "Ok then. Don't scare me like that."
Vanna, who had actually registered that the Dwebble was in pain, immediately went over to the Pokémon, kneeling down to examine it. Her kindness was rewarded with a sharply pinched finger, as the Dwebble snapped ferociously to defend itself. She pulled back with a yelp of pain, sucking on the finger to alleviate the soreness. A little longer than she needed to, actually… I'm fairly certain Axel turned red.
The Dwebble, taking advantage of the distraction, attempted to crawl away, but at this point Amber's nurturing instincts had taken hold. She immediately went to lift it, smacking the Dwebble's pincers aside when it lashed out. With such strength and determination, she probably could have caught it without battling had she wanted to, but she settled for picking it up and assessing its wounds.
"It doesn't appear to be hurt," she muttered, looking it over despite the Pokémon's frantic scrambling. "There's a few marks on its shell, but nothing out of the ordinary…" She paused for a minute and then, to the shock of everyone (particularly the Dwebble), pulled the Pokémon out of its shell in a single, swift motion.
We all gasped; I personally felt bile rise to the base of my throat.
Arceus above. How the hell do you do it, Axel?
There were scatterings of wounds all across the Dwebble's body: not the type one would accrue from battling, but shrapnel wounds, from a shotgun or some sort of explosive device. Some were even still actively bleeding.
"The hell are you doing walking around with these kinds of wounds?" Amber yelled, forgetting completely that this Dwebble didn't belong to us. "What have you been doing?"
"DWEB EBBLE! EBB!" The Dwebble yelled; scurrying frantically to get loose from Amber's grasp. It let loose a stream of acid from its mouth, not enough to seriously hurt Amber, but enough to cause her to drop the crab Pokémon. It tumbled to the ground, righted itself quickly, and darted into a nearby patch of forest, fading from view.
"Wait! Come back!" Vanna yelled after it, but it didn't listen. Anxious, she grabbed Axel round the arm with both hands. "We have to help it! Right, Axel?" I can't say whether she was acting or not, but that face could have made anyone agree to anything.
Axel was no different. "Inigo," he said quietly. "Follow it, and don't let it see you. We'll set up camp nearby, so take your time, find out what it's doing, and report back to us in the evening."
The Treecko let out a sharp nod of obedience and leapt into the woods, not making a sound despite how fast it was moving.
After a moment's reflection, we began to set up camp. I sighed, knowing that with Inigo gone, it would be my job to go find water. Feeling just a little useless, I unfolded the collapsible bucket in Axel's knapsack, and began to search for a spring,
Inigo
Despite its injuries, the Dwebble was far harder to track then I had expected. Though I made no noise, it seemed to know that I (or something) was following it, and intentionally ducked under tree roots and even dug underground to throw any pursuers off the scent. Perhaps it was just paranoid. Then again, perhaps it had every reason to be.
After a while, the Dwebble became more relaxed, satisfied that it had given its pursuer the slip. It crawled with purpose deeper into the forest, and silently I swung from pine to pine. As I followed, I observed that the bark of several trees was cut to shreds, and holes appeared to have been blasted into the ground in various places. Fallen needles on the earth were black in places, scorched by some form of incendiary weapon.
There was fighting here; that much was certain. But by whom? And for what?
After another hour's worth of sneaking, the Dwebble eventually skittered into a small cave, well hidden by the forest's surprisingly dense foliage. I landed softly on the ground, examining the area. The camouflaging effect was intentional: something was being hidden here. Leaf Blades extended just enough to matter, I inched my way into the cave, keeping myself pressed flat against the rock wall to avoid detection.
As I ventured further in, I heard an unexpected sound: clopping, as from hooves. Peering around the corner, I saw an unbelievable sight: a herd of Shiny Sawsbucks, huddled together as if in fear, near the back of the cave. Towards the front, closer to where I was standing, there was a roaring fire, and the Dwebble I had followed was speaking to the other Pokémon around it.
They were out of place amongst the herd. One, a Timburr, sat on a rock and stared into the fire, idly flipping the wooden beam he had back and forth. A Heracross sat cross-legged around the fire as well, rocking slowly back and forth. They both listened intently as the Dwebble gave its report to (who I presumed to be) their leader: an old Scizor, rusted from many years of life.
"More humans? To the north?" The Scizor affirmed, nodding slowly. "Troublesome. It pains me to have sent you on patrol alone, but with our numbers low as they are, it was necessary. Good work, Dwebble." The Dwebble gave a salute, and then set to work hewing a new shell from the surrounding rock.
"You think the hunters are coming back already?" The Timburr spoke up. "We just drove 'em off not a week ago. It usually takes them longer than this to resupply."
"Well, winter's coming soon," the Heracross chipped in. "We could be seeing an overlap between the Red Horn Hunters and the White Tuft Hunters."
"It matters little," the Scizor growled. "The Hunters are the Hunters, and it is only a matter of time before they wear us out." He sighed. "Without at least seven able-bodied fighters, we can not secure the borders like we need to."
"Think I should cut down some more trees, put up a few more walls?" The Heracross offered.
The Scizor shook its head. "No, Hachi. Any further disturbance and our position will be even more obvious. We're barely hanging on to the essential balance of camouflage and defense as it is."
The Heracross (Hachi), nodded, continuing to rock back and forth and smiling despite the gravity of the situation. I myself was torn as to what to do: my pride as a warrior demanded I offer my blade immediately, my loyalty to Axel told me to immediately return to and report what I'd found.
I was spared the decision, as the conversation continued. I could not make a choice without learning everything, could I?
"Sitch," the Scizor spoke; addressing the Timburr, "What is on your mind? You seem to have come to a conclusion."
"It's a terrible idea," the Timburr said immediately, not taking his eyes from the fire.
"I don't know if we're in a position to turn down ideas, no matter how awful," the Heracross smiled. "I'm always willing to try anything once, you know."
"I doubt you'd feel the same about this," the Timburr grumbled.
"Out with it, Sitch," the Scizor commanded, and the Dwebble barked in agreement… I assume. I cannot understand it either.
"We could contact Death," the Timburr said; regret lacing every word of the sentence. My blood became as ice. Was their situation that dire, that they would resort to such a tactic?
Even as I condemned the idea, though, the horror of it was it made sense. Death, for all the terror he caused, never killed Pokémon. If it were contacted, she would no doubt rid the forest of every hunter in a ten-mile radius, if not every human within that distance. I gulped, fighting my urge to yell. Severna was within that distance.
"You realize…" the Scizor said calmly. "That were we to seek the aid of Death, she would demand payment?"
"I'm willing to be the sacrifice," the Timburr said almost immediately. "If that's what it takes to protect this herd, I'll do it."
"You would abandon your family so readily?" the Scizor remarked.
The Timburr shook visibly at that, gulping down a yell of his own. "Of course not," he responded. "But I figure… I'll do the least amount of damage if I'm corrupted, so… I mean…"
"No," the Scizor ruled, and the Timburr immediately nodded. "If anyone has to succumb, it should be me." He scraped a few flakes of rust from his skin. "I'm not long for this world as it is, and I have no one to miss me."
The Dwebble cried out in disapproval, and the Heracross nodded in agreement. "You're forgetting all of us," he smiled. "You think we'll be willing to sit back and watch you turn into a glowing metal puppet?" He ground a fist into the floor of the cave, actually leaving a crack. "Even if Death does help us out, if he tries to take any one of us, I'll take her down. … If I can."
The Scizor smiled sadly, sighing in resignation. "We will cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, we must send out a messenger. The Hunters may return at any time."
"Agreed," the Timburr nodded. "Though if I may make a suggestion, Master Iamb, we should figure out what to do with the Treecko eavesdropping on us first."
"Yeah…" the Heracross chuckled. "I'd been wondering about that for a while myself, actually."
I almost smiled out of respect for the Pokémon, but maintained my composure. "I was not foolish enough to assume myself completely hidden," I stated, entering the room and causing the Sawsbucks to reel back in shock.
The Scizor stood, its full height of six feet gleaming in the firelight despite the rust. "I assume you were commanded to follow young Dwebble?"
"Yes," I nodded. "In his defense, he did not make it easy, even for me."
"Your efforts have been acknowledged, young one," the Scizor said, and the Dwebble spoke something I did not understand and bowed in thanks. "Down to the core of it, who exactly are you, Treecko?"
"My name is Inigo," I began. "I am a warrior in the service of the human Axel Jackson. It was he who sensed that this Dwebble was part of something larger, and he who gave me the order to follow it, and return with information about its activities."
"And who exactly is this 'Axel', that we should let you fulfill these duties?" The Timburr said, swinging its wooden beam threateningly as it stood.
"A good man," I replied.
The Heracross laughed. "I kind of like that answer, actually." He stood as well. "But, as you've probably gathered, we're not exactly in a position to trust random humans right now."
"I understand," I responded curtly. "If it is the case that my Trainer is not welcome here, so be it. I only ask that you allow me to report my well-being. Then, I will gladly return and lend you my services, should he permit it." I looked over the four Pokémon, ensuring that I made eye contact with each one. "Though I have no doubt that he will permit it."
I had expected to be attacked, but the Scizor's sudden Bullet Punch still caught me off guard: for its age, it was incredibly fast. I parried it weakly, extending both Leaf Blades and hacking back with my free arm, but the Scizor easily parried the blow.
It continued to rain down strike after strike of sharp-edged fury with all four of its limbs, its body blurring in a dance of death that straddled the border of combat and art. I blocked each blow efficiently, focusing my concentration on uncovering the dance's break point: its one fatal flaw that could cause the whole combination to fall apart.
Balance. Left leg. As it lunged out with its left, I struck a cross counter-blow upward, upsetting the Scizor's balance and causing it to teeter for a fraction of a second. I whirled around, using my left Leaf Blade to lunge directly for its stomach, but it pushed back on its right leg, darting backwards and landing safely a few feet in front of me.
"It is unusual to see a Treecko that specializes in the Physical arts, let alone one with as much skill as you." He bowed, and I responded in turn. "Your blade is welcome here. As for your report, I will parley with your trainer myself. I wish to judge his character before I decide what his role in this will be. Are you satisfied with this course of action?"
I nodded. There was no fairer alternative I could have hoped for.
"Then come," the Scizor beckoned. "Take your place by the fire. I will return once I have met with this Axel Jackson."
He left without asking directions, but it did not matter. A warrior of his caliber would not need them.
Author's Note
I'm sure some of you know what I'm doing here.
It's not really supposed to be subtle.
You will notice that I've resisted putting quotes in… so far. I'm sure you'll be able to see some crop up before long.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about: good! Plus fifty points, simply because you're more likely to think I'm original.
Ok, fine. If you do know what I'm talking about, plus 100 points. There, I'm not rewarding ignorance, happy?
Um… that's it, I think. Leave a review. If you want. AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. What now? What are you going to do? Huh? Probably still nothing, huh?
Viva la feminism?