My nap is fitful, and I wake up a little over an hour later. I stretch and roll onto my side. When I open my eyes, I'm surprised to see both my children sleeping soundly beside to me. I smile as I reach out and pull the throw that's covering them up around their chins then sit up and grab the first Candor file on the nightstand.
"You're awake," Tobias quietly says from the doorway as I pick up the third file.
"You're home," I whisper.
"Stella called. One of the twins is sick," he says as he comes into the room. "She was afraid of exposing Tyler and Tessa any longer. I decided to bring them home instead of taking them to daycare. I can work here, too. Our girl was already fast asleep when I picked them up, and the minute we got home, Tyler wanted to see you. He climbed up on the bed and promptly fell asleep waiting for you to wake up. I didn't have the heart to move him so I brought Tessa in also. They've been asleep ever since." He eases himself onto the far side of the bed and places his laptop in his lap. He watches video files while I go through the remaining Candor transfer files.
"Hhm."
"What?" he asks.
"Did you know that Lauren was a transfer from Candor?" I ask as I close her file, which is the last one. "She always seemed so Dauntless to me. I just figured she was born here."
"I guess I never asked," he says. "She was already here when I got here. Did you find anything?"
"No," I say. "It's kind of discouraging. I thought for sure we would find a clue in these."
"You did," he says. "I called and talked to Jack earlier, and he confirmed your suspicions. Peter and Molly are first cousins and Drew is Molly's cousin by marriage. They were thick as thieves growing up and made enemies easily. If there was a perceived threat to one, they all avenged that threat. He thinks that Molly and/or Drew wouldn't hesitate to seek revenge for Peter's death. As a matter of fact, he guarantees it will happen sooner or later."
"Great," I mutter. "I wish someone could tell me what I did to catch Peter's eye."
"You were an Abnegation member who joined Dauntless. You know that's unheard of. You were strong, brave," he says. "I wasn't the only one intrigued. Unfortunately, Peter was a psychopath."
"And so are Molly and Drew," I say. "Do you think they have something to do with Sam and Harrison's murders?"
"If I were a betting man, I'd say yes but the truth is, at this time, we have no proof," he says.
"Did you happen to call my dad and ask about the simulation serum Erudite created?"
"I did," he says. "He assured me that all the long-range serum stored at Erudite was destroyed when the conspiracy was detected. He was actually there and witnessed it; however, he can't guarantee that someone didn't take some out of storage before that time. No one did an inventory to make sure that it all was accounted for."
"Should I call Caleb and ask if there's a way to detect if any was stolen?" I ask.
"I actually called and left him a message already," he says. "I want to see if he can send us a copy of the serum's composition to give to Zander. When I talk to him, I'll ask your question." Tessa starts whining and her eyelids slowly flutter open. She looks up at Tobias and starts crying. "What did I do to you, Pebbles?" He picks her up, and she cries even louder. He checks her diaper but it's dry then he checks to see if she's hungry but she doesn't seem interested but she doesn't quiet down either. I slip out of bed and take her so she doesn't wake Tyler.
"I'll take her," I say. "What's wrong, little one?" I pad down the hallway and into her room. I sit down in her rocking chair and hold her with her arm tucked under mine and her body facing me. After a couple minutes she calms down and stares up at me. "Are you feeling better? Did you have a bad dream? You usually don't look at Daddy and start screaming. You almost woke your brother up." She smiles for the first time since she opened her eyes. "You little stinker! You think waking your brother up is funny?" She laughs out loud.
"Is she feeling better?" Tobias asks.
"Yeah," I say.
"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says from his father's feet. "You was sleepin'."
"I know," I say. "I needed a nap. Did your sister wake you up?"
"Yeah," he sighs. "I go play now." He turns and runs out of the room. Tobias steps out into the hallway, watching him.
"He's going downstairs," he says. "I better go with him."
"Okay." I look down at Tessa and ask, "Do you want to go downstairs with Daddy and Tyler, too?" Her smile tells me she does so I get up and follow after them. I kiss her head then sit her on the floor in front of the television. "Do you want your blocks?" She moves her arms excitedly as I put the blocks down in front of her. "There you go, little one." I sit down on the couch next to Tobias and we watch the kids playing for a few minutes.
"We have happy kids," he says, kissing my temple.
"Yeah, we do," I say, squeezing his knee. "Shall we go through more of the security cam footage?"
"I only have one laptop," he says.
"Four eyes are better than two," I say. "We can watch together, okay?"
"Sounds great," he says. "Can I get you anything before we begin?"
"I'll take another drink," I say.
"Tyler, do you want some milk?" Tobias asks.
"Yes, peas," he says. Tobias goes to the kitchen and comes back a few minutes later with my ice tea-lemonade concoction and a sippy cup full of milk for Tyler. "Thanks, Daddy."
"You're welcome, buddy," he says. He sits down beside me after handing me the glass and pulls his computer onto his lap. I lean up against him, and he hits the play button.
"Mommy, I'm hungwy," Tyler says. I look at the clock and am surprised that two hours have passed. Tobias looks at the clock also then shuts the laptop.
"I'm sorry," he says. "I think Mommy and Daddy got lost in the files. Tyler, how would you like spaghetti and meatballs for supper?"
"Yeah!" he says. "That is good."
"I'll help you," I say after he gets up.
"You don't have to," he says.
"I know," I say, scooting to the edge of the couch. "But I want to."
"Okay," he says. He helps me up, and we go into the kitchen. He starts making the sauce while I put the meatballs together so I can get them in the oven. I try to concentrate on what I'm doing but Tobias' close proximity in the kitchen, cooking, sets my blood to boiling. He senses my stare and says, "Is something wrong?"
"You're sexy," I whisper.
"Really?" He smirks while he looks down out of the corner of his eyes at me.
"You know how much I love my man in the kitchen," I say as I run my hand down his back. He jumps when I give his butt a little squeeze. "This reminds me of my birthday."
"If I remember correctly you attacked me while I was cooking you spaghetti."
"That's how I remember it, too," I say, unable to stop smiling. He leans down and kisses my neck.
"Maybe I'll make us some dessert after the kids go to bed," he says with a wink. "You can attack me again."
"That sounds nice," I say. He lowers his mouth towards mine but I put a finger over his lips and shake my head, giving him a coy smile. "I'd kiss you but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to stop."
"That wouldn't be good," he says, glancing the kids' way. "Why don't you sit down, and I'll finish up in here."
"I will once I get the meatballs in the oven," I say. Just then Tessa starts wailing. "Or I'll check on her."
"Uh-oh!" Tyler says when I reach the living room. "She falled over." I pick Tessa up and she's so mad she's having a hard time catching her breath.
"Did you scare yourself?" I say, bouncing her a little. She lies her head on my shoulder and whimpers. "My poor girl. You're having a rough afternoon, aren't you? I hope this isn't an indication of what your night's going to be like." I sit us down on the end of the couch, and she starts making sucking noises. "Are you hungry?"
"Yeah," Tyler says.
"Can you wait until supper is ready?" I ask as I put Tessa to my breast. She latches onto my nipple and suckles heartily.
"No," he pouts.
"Tobias, can you get Tyler a cheese stick?" I ask. "Daddy will get you a small snack. We don't want you to ruin your appetite."
"Thanks," he says as he gets up off the floor. He runs to Tobias who gives him some string cheese.
"Walk with that. I don't want you to choke," Tobias says.
"Otay, Daddy," he says. He comes and sits next to me while he eats the cheese.
"Did that help?" I ask.
"Yeah," he says.
"I'm sorry I didn't ask you earlier, buddy. Did you have fun with Zane this morning?" He proceeds to excitedly tell me about Zane's new race track that they spent the morning playing with.
"When do I get my new woom?" he asks. It's been a while since this subject has come up. Thankfully, it's no longer a daily occurrence like it used to.
"Well, I think we should get to move in next week," I say. "Does that make you happy?"
"Mm-hm. But I miss my old woom," he says. "It my fiwst woom." My heart constricts painfully at his statement. He never really talks about being factionless but the rare times it comes up makes me not only sad but mad. No child should have to live that way.
"I'll miss this apartment, too," I softly say. "I thought it would be our home forever."
"Awe you sad?" he asks, leaning his head against my arm.
"It will be a little sad when we move but it will be exciting, too," I say. "And we'll have plenty of room for Teagan when we bring her home."
"Do we have to?" he sighs. I hear Tobias stop what he's doing in the kitchen.
"You don't want the baby to be born?" I ask, confused. He's never talked like this before.
"I like it just us," he says.
"But you love the baby," I say, rubbing my tummy lovingly. "You talk to her and tell her so all the time. Has something changed your mind?" He looks up at me, pondering my question.
"No. I love you, baby," he says to my tummy and then he kisses it. As he's talking to her, Peanut kicks, hard.
"She loves you, too," I say. "She just kicked me."
"Daddy say it not nice to kick," he says, very seriously. I have to hide my amusement. I remember being in the training room with Tyler and Zane when they started kicking each other. Tobias told them it wasn't nice to kick.
"You're right. You should never kick anyone. It isn't nice but the baby doesn't know that. When she moves around, she kicks me. You can feel her." I take his hands and place them on my tummy where Peanut is using me as a punching bag. "See?" His face has a look of awe.
"Does it huwt?"
"No," I say.
"Does she know I talk to hew?" he asks.
"I think so. It seems that when you, Mommy, or Daddy talk to her that she listens and moves all around. She also gets really excited when Tessa laughs. Your sisters are going to be the best of friends. Kind of like twins because they're so close in age."
"We be close?" he asks, his bottom lip sticking out.
"Of course you'll be close," I say. "You are the best big brother, Tyler Aaron. I can tell that you'll always be there watching out for your little sisters. Sometimes they'll annoy you for one reason or another but you'll always stick up for them if someone else tries to hurt them."
"Mommy? Do you think I can have a baby bwudda, too?" he asks, his innocent eyes wide. "I be good!"
"Um, maybe one day you can have a little brother but not for a while," I say. "Don't you think three kids at home will be enough?"
"Otay," he says. He looks at me thoughtfully for a moment them his face lights up. "Can we have a puppy then? Zane is getting a dog. Can we get dog, too?" Wow, asking for a brother and a dog in one fell swoop. That's my boy!
"I don't know about a dog," Tobias says from the kitchen. He obviously has been listening to our conversation. "It's a big responsibility." Tyler turns around on the couch and looks toward his father.
"I big boy," he says. "It be otay."
"Mommy and I will have to talk about it," he says. "That doesn't mean we'll get you a dog though. Zane has four older brothers and sisters at home to help with a pet. Who would help you?"
"Mommy and you," he say, hopefully.
"Tyler, I don't have time right now to take care of a puppy," I say. I lift Tessa up to my shoulder and pat her back in an effort to get her to burp. "I have to take care of you and Tessa and the new baby when she comes. I also have to look out for your Daddy and don't forget, I have a job. What would we do with a dog while you are at daycare and we're at work?" He frowns at me, not liking my answer. I think he knows it's going to be no.
"He can come with me," he says.
"I don't think daycare covers dogs," Tobias says.
"Maybe?" Tyler says.
"I said Mommy and Daddy have to talk about it," Tobias says. His tone is more forceful than he usually uses with our son but nowhere near the Four tone he uses with others.
"Otay," Tyler pouts.
"Don't pout," Tobias says. "You just said you're a big boy."
"Sowwy, Daddy," he says.
"Supper will be ready soon," I say. "Please pick your puzzles up, buddy." He's slow to get off the couch but doesn't argue with me. He separates the pieces that are lying on the floor then puts them away. Tessa finishes nursing just as he puts the puzzle book back on the shelf. I put her in her swing and head into the kitchen. Tyler sits in front of her, making her laugh.
"How would you like to take the kids to the playground down the street when we finish with supper?" Tobias quietly asks so Tyler can't overhear us. The little Dauntless park, approximately two blocks away, is much smaller than the sprawling city park but it has ample swings and slides but we don't go often because Tyler prefers the big jungle gym in town.
"That sounds like a nice idea," I say. "But do you think I should be going out?"
"I forgot about that, love," he says. "It's not a long walk and you can sit when we get there. Maybe some fresh air would do us all some good tonight. But if you don't think you should, we'll stay home."
"No, I want to go," I say. "But let's wait and tell him after supper is over and the kitchen is cleaned up so he doesn't try to rush us."
"Good idea," he says as he takes the delicious-smelling meatballs out of the oven. "Can you make the salad?"
"I sure can," I say. Instead of making the usual Caesar salad, I quickly throw together a lettuce salad and lightly dress it with Italian dressing. After I finish it, I put our place settings out on the island. "Tyler, buddy, supper is ready."
"Yeah!" he squeals as he gets up from in front of Tessa. She watches as he walks away then starts crying.
"Tobias, did you ever get a booster seat for Tessa?" I ask.
"Yeah. It's in the pantry," he says. "I'll get it out for her."
"What's up, little one?" I ask as I take her out of her swing. She stops crying and jabbers loudly. "Daddy's going to get a place for you to sit so you won't feel left out." He takes the booster seat and attaches it to the barstool to my right. "Are you ready?" I sit her in the well-padded seat and buckle her in so she can't fall out. Tears come to my eyes as she sits there looking around. I remember holding her in my arms for the first time. She was so tiny and now she's sitting at the table with the family. Tobias must see my emotional state because he comes up behind me and sits his hands on my shoulders, reassuringly. "Our baby girl is growing so fast."
"I know," he quietly says. He leans over and kisses my temple. "Come here, buddy. You're going to sit next to me from now on." He lifts Tyler into his booster seat around the corner.
"Hi, Tess," he says. "I see you." She turns her head at the sound of her brother's voice and grins at him. He makes a silly face and she starts laughing. Tobias sits down after putting a platter of freshly baked garlic bread on the island. We fix our plates, making sure to keep them out of Tessa's reach.
"You going?" Tyler asks as I get up to get her a toy.
"I'm just getting your sister something to play with so she'll stop trying to grab the food," I say.
"She not eatin'?" he asks.
"She already ate, and she's too little for big people food," Tobias says. I hand her the small lavender butterfly teether she loves to chew on, and she pounds it on the island before shoving it in her mouth.
"This is wonderful," I say as I put another bite of spaghetti and meatballs in my mouth.
"Yeah! It weally, weally good," Tyler says, smiling around the garlic bread in his hand.
"That's quite a compliment from my family," Tobias says. "I love cooking for you guys."
"Well, you know how much I love it when you cook," I say. "Makes my mouth water … amongst other things." The forkful of food heading toward Tobias' mouth hovers in midair as he stares at me, probably shocked by what I just said. I wink at him and the fork, food and all, clatters loudly to the plate. "Oops."
"You dwopped it, you dwopped it," Tyler singsongs.
"I sure did, buddy," he says as he picks up the fork. "Your mother distracted me. Are you done or would you like some more spaghetti and meatballs?" Tyler leans back in his chair and puts both his hands on his protruding tummy.
"I full," he says.
"What would you like to do this evening?" Tobias asks him.
"We watch movie?" he asks.
"That sounds nice but would you like to go to the playground up the block?" I ask. His eyes widen and a bright smile crosses his face.
"Yeah!" he says.
"We need to clean up the kitchen and you need to go potty before we go," I say. Tobias lifts him out of the booster chair and sits him on his feet, and he runs to the powder room tucked under the stairs. I clean off the island then as I move toward the dishwasher, Tobias pulls me against him, surprising me. My mouth pops open, and he takes advantage. He presses his lips to mine and thrusts his tongue deep into my mouth. I feel my knees weaken when his hand grazes my breast then fists in my hair. He pulls his lips from mine, leaving us both panting loudly.
"You really shouldn't tease me," he whispers in my ear then he thrusts his tongue in making me ache for him. He shifts his body and rubs his burgeoning erection against my hip. "Two can play this game." The dishes slip from my grip but his quick reflexes save us from having to buy a whole new set.
"I weady to go," Tyler says from in front of the door. Tobias smirks at me then loads the dishwasher.
"I'm going to change Tessa," I say, still sounding a little breathy. "I'll be back down in a minute. Will you get Tyler's jacket. It's chilly. I don't want him coming down with something."
"You might want to grab a sweatshirt, too," he says. I kiss his cheek then pick Tessa up and carry her to her room. I change her dirty diaper and take her out of the outfit she's worn all day. I put on a pair of long coral-colored pants and a long sleeved melon-colored microfiber shirt with large coral and white flowers on it.
"This color looks really good on you with your dark hair," I tell her. "I know you're not a huge fan but I'm going to put this hat on you so you don't come down with a cold or ear infection. None of us want that ever again, do we, little one?" I take the beanie with a large bow on the front that matches her shirt and put it on her head after I take her little ponytails out and pull it down to cover her ears. "Now Mommy has to get some comfortable shoes and a sweatshirt." I pick her up off her changing table and go into my bedroom. I grab black loafers and my new dark gray breastfeeding hoodie that Tobias surprised me with a week or so ago just in case Tessa gets hungry. I sit her in the middle of the bed and diligently watch her as I put my shoes on and pull the hoodie over my head. Thankfully, she doesn't move. She's too busy being entertained by me getting dressed. I pick her up, and she immediately grabs the hoodie string and starts chewing on it. "You chew on everything, don't you, little one."
"Are we ready to go?" Tobias asks when we step into the living room. Tyler is on his shoulders in his black jean jacket.
"I think you need a jacket, too, Tobias," I say as I gently take the string out of Tessa's mouth and hand her the butterfly teether.
"Okay," he says. He sits Tyler on his feet then jogs up the stairs two steps at a time. He comes back down wearing his black, lightweight fleece-lined hooded jean jacket. He returns Tyler to his shoulders then we leave, double checking that the door is locked behind us. When we reach the bottom of the stairs, I put Tessa in the stroller but she refuses to lie down so I decide to carry her and Tobias pushes the diaper bag in the stroller.
"We're going to have to fix this so she can sit up instead of lying down," I say as we exit the Pire. "She likes looking around." She's holding her head high, chewing on the butterfly. Her little eyes are closely watching where we're going. I kiss her cheek and she laughs. "Are my kisses funny?" She laughs again. "Did you have a chance to give your idea to Tori and Will about refurbishing one of these buildings for the aging Dauntless members before Harrison died?"
"No," Tobias says looking at me oddly. "That was just yesterday we talked about that."
"No. It was quite a while ago," I say.
"Love, Zeke, you, and I talked about it just yesterday. I know it seems longer because of everything that's went on in the past 24 hours but it wasn't."
"Are you sure?" I ask, dumbfounded. It seems like that conversation took place weeks not hours ago.
"Positive."
"I guess my mind is playing tricks on me," I say. "When things get back to normal, that idea needs put to a vote." When we reach the little playground, we're not surprised to find it empty. Not a lot of people use it but if one of the surrounding buildings was the one chosen for restoration, maybe some money could be put into this park, too. Tobias, Tessa, and I sit on an old, rickety bench and watch Tyler as he uses one of the slides over and over.
"Where do you think he gets his energy from?" Tobias asks. He's resting his arm on the bench behind me, and I'm leaning up against him, holding Tessa in my arms while she watches Tyler, cooing and laughing the entire time.
"My guess is he sneaks into our bedroom at night and steals it from me," I say. Tobias chuckles softly.
"Is that a fact?" he says. He pulls me a little closer and kisses my temple. "Maybe I should go get the car and drive you home so you don't wear yourself out. I plan on having my way with you once the kids are asleep."
"Is that a fact?" I say. "You have mighty high plans. I was thinking of going straight to bed after they do … to sleep."
"Are you teasing me again?" he asks.
"I don't know," I say, lifting my hand and running it through his hair. "Am I?"
"I think you are, Mrs. Eaton," he says.
"Would I do that, Mr. Eaton?" He moves and puts his lips against my ear.
"I think you like keeping me hard," he says.
"Tobias!" I gasp. "Not in front of the baby."
"Sorry," he says. "I'm going to work some of this excess energy off and play with Tyler. Maybe I'll wear myself out then I'll go to bed early." He gets up, kisses my head, and walks over to the swings. "You want to swing, buddy?" Tyler goes down the slide one last time then runs to his dad. Tobias puts him in one of the toddler swings and patiently pushes him for more than an hour while I sit on the bench with Tessa. She pulls her hat off and just after I put it back on, she tears it off again.
"Do you like this game, Tessa Beatrice?" I ask as I put it back on again. "Leave your hat on. I don't want you sick." She slowly moves her hand up, not taking her eyes off mine and rips it off her head with a giggle. I roll my eyes and shake my head. "You little monster." I pick the hat up off the ground then hug her close and kiss her head. When I put the hat in her diaper bag, she starts whining. "I can't bend over and pick it up off the ground anymore. My belly keeps getting in the way so no getting upset with Mommy." She whines at me some more like she's giving me hell. I lift her and kiss her on both cheeks but she doesn't stop whining so I decide to give her what she wants. I root around in the diaper bag and find her hat then put it back on thinking she'll yank it right back off but she surprises me by leaving it on but this doesn't make her happy either. I put my knuckle in her mouth knowing she can't possibly be hungry and she suckles deftly, holding onto me with both her little hands. When she realizes nothing is coming out, she starts screaming loudly. This gains Tobias and Tyler's attention.
"Is she okay?" Tobias asks.
"She's just hungry again," I say.
"Do you want to take her home?" he asks. At this, Tyler's face falls.
"No," I say. "I'll feed her now." I dig out a blanket and unzip the sweatshirt so I can feed her. Once I get everything situated, I place her to my breast and she nurses vigorously. "You better not be coming down with something. You didn't eat that long ago." I lift the blanket and check on her when she slows, and her eyelids are closing and opening. I pull her away from my chest, and she starts loudly crying again. I fix my shirt and burp her then switch sides. The moment she latches on, she quiets down and her eyelids begin to flutter again. She looks peaceful as she nurses. I caress her little face, and she opens her eyes. She gives me a sleepy little smile then lets her eyelids flutter closed again. I cover her head so she can finish in peace.
"Hello, Tris," someone says from right behind me. My whole body tenses at the sound of her familiar voice.
"What the hell are you doing here, Olivia?"