I want to thank everyone so much for their support on my note, last chapter. It's helpful to know I have so many supporters.
I know it's easy to misread the fictions and mistake them for each other, as they are all similarly written—obviously.
Things have blown over now, and I'm not taking anything to heart.
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I'm also realizing we're on the last few chapters of this fic, and it's making me kind of emotional. I'm also very excited for Grey—which comes out in 2 days! You may see an influx of updates, as I write as quickly—but with as much quality—as I can, so that I can get around to reading Grey!
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Monday, May 30th 2011 – Late Evening
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I haven't gone to bed. I've stayed up late doing business, and now sit in the living room, reading the latest book from my favorite author. It's not very often that I read a book, but I've exhausted everything else in my arsenal, and I am still terrified to go to bed without Anastasia.
I know I'll have nightmares—I know it, and part of me just doesn't want to go to sleep at all.
My Blackberry pings.
…
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Over-Extravagant Gestures
Date: May 30 2011 21:53
To: Christian Grey
Dear Mr. Grey,
What really alarms me is how you knew which flight I was on.
Your stalking knows no bounds. Let's hope that Dr. Flynn is back from vacation.
I have had a manicure, a back massage, and two glasses of champagne—a very nice start to my vacation.
Thank you.
Ana
…
I am made giddy by not only the appearance of her email, but the content as well. I had to wait for her to book her airline ticket before I could upgrade it, as I hadn't known which exact flight she'd be on. Welch helped me with that after she'd purchased it. It's very nice to read that she's enjoying herself already. That's what I'm here for—I like to take care of her. What's more—I like when she enjoys it and thanks me for it.
…
From: Christian Grey
Subject: You're Most Welcome
Date: May 30 2011 21:59
To: Anastasia Steele
Dear Miss Steele,
Dr. Flynn is back, and I have an appointment this week.
Who was massaging your back?
Christian Grey
CEO with friends in the right places, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
…
I smirk at my witty signature, amused at even myself. I can be funny when I want to be. I wait a few minutes for her response, but don't receive one for awhile. She must be boarding. I return to my book.
I'm into the fourth chapter of my book when I receive her response.
…
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Strong Able Hands
Date: May 30 2011 22:22
To: Christian Grey
Dear Sir,
A very pleasant young man massaged my back. Yes. Very pleasant indeed. I wouldn't have encountered Jean-Paul in the ordinary departure lounge—so thank you again for that treat. I'm not sure if I'll be allowed to e-mail once we take off, and I need my beauty sleep since I've not been sleeping so well recently.
Pleasant dreams, Mr. Grey… thinking of you.
Ana
…
Annoyance, anger and amusement twist a knot of emotions inside me at her words. On one hand, the candor of her email is impressive, and yet comical. I know exactly what she's attempting—she wants to rile me up, and I believe it has worked. For the most part, it's the amusement that shines through, however, and I allow it to dictate my reply.
…
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Enjoy It While You Can
Date: May 30 2011 22:25
To: Anastasia Steele
Dear Miss Steele,
I know what you're trying to do—and trust me, you've succeeded. Next time you'll be in the cargo hold, bound and gagged in a crate. Believe me when I say that attending to you in that state will give me so much more pleasure than merely upgrading your ticket.
I look forward to your return.
Christian Grey
Palm Twitching CEO,
Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
…
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Joking?
Date: May 30 2011 22:30
To: Christian Grey
You see—I have no idea if you're joking—and if you're not, then I think I'll stay in Georgia. Crates are a hard limit for me. Sorry I made you mad. Tell me you forgive me.
A
…
I'm a tad taken aback. My mood deflates immediately. Here I was having fun and goading her, while all the while it's making her nervous and afraid. And has her considering staying away from me.
Immediately I regret my email.
You fucking moron, I chide myself.
…
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Joking
Date: May 30 2011 22:31
To: Anastasia Steele
How can you be e-mailing? Are you risking the life of everyone on board, including yourself, by using your Blackberry? I think that contravenes one of the rules.
Christian Grey
Two Palms Twitching, CEO,
Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
…
I am grateful when she doesn't respond. Somewhere in the time I read her email and responded to it, the regret changed to anger, and I try to suppress it now.
I put down my book, and head into my bedroom—to finally face the night I'm dreading.
.
I wake in a panic, damp with sweat, heart pounding. Surprisingly, I haven't called out. All the same, waking up like this is shitty, really shitty. From where I've reflexively propped myself up on my elbows, I lower myself onto my back, staring up at my bedroom ceiling.
My bedroom feels very quiet, and very empty—too empty. The morning light is just shining through, breaking its way past my windowpane. It spills across my bedroom floor, and the sight of it calms my breathing a tad. The pitch black of night always has a way of making things… scarier.
Inhaling deeply through my nose, my heart rate calming and my breathing falling into a more even keel, I reach for my Blackberry. It is still plugged in on my side table, and as I unplug it and pull it toward me, I see that I have a few new emails. I scan them quickly, skipping over a few business related emails when I see that Anastasia has emailed me back. I received it at about 3:50 in the morning—almost seven her time. It's just past here, now, which means it's nine o' clock where she is.
I read through her lengthy email very thoroughly, taking in each word, drinking it in. I am equally as exasperated and relieved that she's being so honest with me now. I just wish she'd have the bravado to do it in person.
Before I can think too much more about the rest of her email, I compose my reply—a stream of consciousness of sorts.
…
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Finally!
Date: May 31 2011 07:30
To: Anastasia Steele
.
Anastasia,
I am annoyed that as soon as you put some distance between us, you communicate openly and honestly with me. Why can't you do that when we're together?
Yes, I'm rich. Get used to it. Why shouldn't I spend money on you? We've told your father I'm your boyfriend, for heaven's sake. Isn't that what boyfriends do? As your Dom, I would expect you to accept whatever I spend on you with no argument. Incidentally, tell your mother, too.
I don't know how to answer your comment about feeling like a whore. I know that's not what you've written, but it's what you imply. I don't know what I can say or do to eradicate those feelings. I'd like you to have the best of everything. I work exceptionally hard so I can spend my money as I see fit. I could buy you your heart's desire, Anastasia, and I want to. Call it redistribution of wealth, if you will. Or simply know that I would not, could not ever think of you in the way you described, and I'm angry that's how to perceive yourself. For such a bright, witty, beautiful young woman, you have some real self-esteem issues, and I have half a mind to make an appointment for you with Dr. Flynn.
I apologize for frightening you. I find the thought of instilling fear in you abhorrent. Do you really think I'd let you travel in the hold? I offered you my private jet, for heaven's sake. Yes, it was a joke, a poor one obviously. However, the fact is the thought of you bound and gagged turns me on (this is not a joke—it's true). I can lose the crate—crates do nothing for me. I know you have issues with gagging—we've talked about that—and if/when I do gag you, we'll discuss it. What I think you fail to realize is that in Dom/sub relationships it is the sub who has all the power. That's you. I'll repeat this—you are the one with all the power. Not I. In the boathouse you said no. I can't touch you if you say no—that's why we have an agreement—what you will and won't do. If we try things and you don't like them, we can revise the agreement. It's up to you—not me. And if you don't want to be bound and gagged in a crate, then it won't happen.
I want to share my lifestyle with you. I have never wanted anything so much. Frankly, I'm in awe of you, that one so innocent would be willing to try. That says more to me than you could ever know. You fail to see I am caught in your spell, too, even though I have told you this countless times. I don't want to lose you. I am nervous that you've flown three thousand miles to get aware from me for a few days, because you can't think clearly around me. It's the same for me, Anastasia. My reason vanishes when we're together—that's the depth of my feeling for you.
I understand your trepidation. I did try to stay away from you; I know you were inexperienced, though I would never have pursued you if I had known exactly how innocent you were—and yet you still manage to disarm me completely in a way that nobody has before. Your email for example: I have read and reread it countless times trying to understand your point of view. Three months is an arbitrary amount of time. We could make it six months, a year? How long do you want it to be? What would make you comfortable? Tell me.
I understand that this is a huge leap of faith for you. I have to earn your trust, but by the same token, you have to communicate with me when I am failing to do this. You seem so strong and self-contained, and then I read what you've written here, and I see another side to you. We have to guide each other, Anastasia, and I can only take my cues from you. You have to be honest with me, and we have to both find a way to make this arrangement work.
You worry about not being submissive. Well, maybe that's true. Having said that, the only time you do assume the correct demeanor for a sub is in the playroom. It seems that's the one place where you let me exercise proper control over you and the only place you do as you're told. "Exemplary" is the term that comes to mind. And I'd never beat you black and blue. I aim for pink. Outside the playroom, I like that you challenge me. It's a very novel and refreshing experience, and I wouldn't want to change that. So yes, tell me what you want in terms of more. I will endeavor to keep an open mind, and I shall try to give you the space you need and stay away from you while you are in Georgia.
I look forward to your next email.
In the meantime, enjoy yourself. But not too much.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
…
And before I can think too closely about what I've just written, I hit 'send'.
Before I can focus too much on the knot and tension building in the base of my belly, I head for my closet. I haven't looked forward to a session with Claude more.
.
Most of the day passes in lulls and drags. Sometime later, I receive the text message that she's arrived safely in Georgia. It releases a pressure inside me I hadn't realized I'd been holding in.
For the rest of the day, I'm a little more patient with my colleagues and staff members.
I'm just coming out of a meeting with the board, and stepping back into my office, when my Blackberry begins to buzz in my pocket. For a fleeting moment, I hope it's Anastasia, calling me, but it's only Andrea. She asks me a few inane questions, and I've only just hung up with her when I receive another call.
I'm not altogether surprised by the name on the Caller ID. I sent an email to this person this morning, trying to sort out some of the racing thoughts that have been running through my head about this entire ordeal with Anastasia.
"Elena," I say in answer.
"Christian, hello," she replies. "How are you?"
I allow an indulgent smirk to grace my face at her question. Any other day I'd be fine. "I'm feeling a lot of things these days, Elena."
"Tell me about it, Christian. What's been going on?"
I sigh, and lower myself onto the edge of my desk. "Well—as you know, I have a new sub."
"Yes—Anastasia, is it?"
"Yes."
There's a momentary pause on the other end. Finally, she says, "I'm sensing there's something different going on with this sub."
A scoff of laughter escapes me. "Oh, definitely. I'm glad you called me—I'd like to meet for dinner. I'd like your advice, Elena." I trust Elena with anything. We've become very close friends since our Dom/sub relationship, and my feeling with her is that I could tell her anything, without judgment, without feeling self-conscious. I trust her advice, and I trust her standpoint on life. Anything she has to say about this, I will take to heart.
We agree to meet later.
.
Around three o' clock, I receive an email from Anastasia. I'm in yet another meeting, but it's dry as paper, so I think I can afford to keep just an ear open.
I pull up the email on my Blackberry.
…
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Verbose?
Date: May 31 2011 16:08 PST
To: Christian Grey
.
Sir, you are quite the loquacious writer. I have to go to dinner at Bob's golf club, and just so you know, I am rolling my eyes at the thought. But you and your twitchy palm are a long way from me so my behind is safe, for now. I loved your e-mail. Will respond when I can. I miss you already.
Enjoy your afternoon.
Your Ana
…
I welcome the feeling that floods me as I read her email over. It's warm, very warm, and inflating.
I dwell on the thought of her luscious ass for a moment, and smirk to myself as I type in the subject title.
…
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Your Behind
Date: May 31 2011 16:10
To: Anastasia Steele
.
Dear Miss Steele,
I am distracted by the title of this e-mail. Needless to say it is safe—for now.
Enjoy your dinner, and I miss you, too, especially your behind and your smart mouth.
My afternoon will be dull, brightened only by thoughts of you and your eye rolling. I think it was you who so judiciously pointed out to me that I, too, suffer from that nasty habit.
Christian Grey
CEO & Eye Roller
Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
…
Four minutes later, her reply comes through.
…
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Eye Rolling
Date: May 31 2011 16:14
To: Christian Grey
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Dear Mr. Grey,
Stop emailing me. I am trying to get ready for dinner. You are very distracting, even when you are on the other side of the continent. And yes—who spanks you when you roll your eyes?
Your Ana
…
…
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Your Behind
Date: May 31 2011 16:18
To: Anastasia Steele
.
Dear Miss Steele,
I still prefer my title to yours, in so many different ways. It is lucky that I am master of my own destiny and no one castigates me. Except my mother, occasionally, and Dr. Flynn, of course. And you.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
…
I wait a few minutes for her reply, really trying to concentrate on the conversation at hand.
…
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Chastising… Me?
Date: May 31 2011 16:22
To: Christian Grey
.
Dear Sir,
When have I ever plucked up the nerve to chastise you, Mr. Grey? I think you are mixing me up with someone else… which is very worrying. I really do have to get ready.
Your Ana
…
I allow myself to imagine Anastasia strutting around the guest room of her mother's Georgia house, in a towel, getting ready for dinner… Hmm…
…
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Your Behind
Date: May 31 2011 16:25
To: Anastasia Steele
.
Dear Miss Steele,
You do it all the time in print. Can I zip up your dress?
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
…
Her reply makes me shift in my seat, and I know I should put a stop to this and focus on my colleagues, but I just can't bring myself to do it.
…
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: NC-17
Date: May 31 2011 16:28
To: Christian Grey
.
I would rather you unzipped it.
…
…
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Careful what you wish for…
Date: May 31 2011 16:31
To: Anastasia Steele
SO WOULD I.
Christian Grey,
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
…
…
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Panting
Date: May 31 2011 16:33
To: Christian Grey
Slowly…
…
Suddenly, I'm considering flying to Georgia just to fuck Anastasia. Because I'm really wanting to, right about now.
…
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Groaning
Date: May 31 2011 16:35
To: Anastasia Steele
Wish I were there.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
…
…
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Moaning
Date: May 31 2011 16:37
To: Christian Grey
SO DO I.
…
My attention has been diverted by the team for just a moment. I mutter a quiet assent to Boch's inquiry, not really sure what's going on.
My Blackberry buzzes in my lap—where something else is also discreetly buzzing—and I glance down.
…
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Moaning
Date: May 31 2011 16:39
To: Christian Grey
Gotta go.
Laters, baby.
…
…
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Plagiarism
Date: May 31 2011 16:41
To: Anastasia Steele
You stole my line.
And left me hanging.
Enjoy your dinner.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
…
.
"Good evening, Sir," Taylor greets me, pulling open the door to the Audi. "How was your day?"
"Fine, Taylor," I reply. I climb into the passenger seat and buckle up.
Taylor rounds to the driver's side, and pulls away from the curb.
The drive home is pretty quiet, aside from a few pleasantries.
I've had a long day at work, and I'm exhausted. Probably because I didn't get a very good sleep last night. Despite the fact, I'm looking forward to dinner with Elena. I'm eager to hear what she thinks about all of this.
Taylor pulls up in front of Escala, and I climb out, heading inside and to the elevator. A smartly dressed couple rides halfway up with me, and then I'm on my own for the rest of the way.
Upon entering the great room, I find Mrs. Jones standing in the kitchen.
"Hello, Mr. Grey. How are you this evening?"
"I'm fine, Mrs. Jones."
"Can I get you dinner?"
"Actually, I'm going out for dinner tonight, Mrs. Jones. Please save it for tomorrow."
"Certainly, Mr. Grey."
I head past her and into my bedroom, going through the tedious motions of getting ready for dinner without really thinking. My mind is too focused on what I'm going to say to Elena.