Disclaimer:
Audition 2: Tony Montana
Former Occupation: Fictional Drug Kingpin (Scarface)
(Ahem)
You cockroaches wanna own Pokémon?
OKAY!
…
Amaxing: That's… that's it?
Tony: Yeh. That's it.
Amaxing: I was… uh, expecting some more punch, Tony; I got to say. You know, maybe play a little rough? Say hello to my little friend, and all that?
Tony: (Stares)
Amaxing: Okay, fine. We'll be in touch. NEXT!
Chapter 34: A Child
I hate him.
He's a nice guy!
I should kill him.
I don't think I should do that.
All he does is torture me. I really should kill him.
He's trying to help me, right? I should be thanking him for making her voice go away.
He didn't get rid of all the voices though!
He's only human! And she was the one that was making me do the bad stuff anyway.
But I enjoyed it, too. It wasn't only her.
I don't enjoy it! Hurting people is bad!
It's such a rush when I feel their bones cracking under my sheer weight, though.
NO! That's killing people! Killing people counts as hurting people, right?
Though if they're dead, they don't hurt anymore, right?
I shouldn't think like that! I should be thinking up a name!
A name? It's Deathwing, isn't it?
No, that's not my name. It's the name that she gave me, but it's not my name.
Do I remember what my name was before she took me?
No, I don't.
Well then, why can't I just keep Deathwing? Who cares if he likes it or not?
Because that was the name I had when I killed people! I shouldn't be killing people, so I shouldn't use that name! It makes sense, right?
I don't think that makes a whole lot of sense.
Well it makes sense to me!
It doesn't make sense to me.
Yeah, ok, it doesn't make sense to me. But it's like… symbolic, right? Of turning over my new leaf or something? I like it!
I think it's kind of cheesy.
I don't care how cheesy it is, it should help, right?
But I want to go kill something again!
NO! I don't want to kill things anymore, ok?
I don't even a little?
Maybe I do a little, but I think all normal people do a little. But I can't just go around killing people, because that makes it so that they aren't alive!
I see! I'm denying them the pleasure of killing people by killing them. So cruel! How did I not see that before?
I… I don't think I should be thinking that way, but I guess that's close enough for now.
So if I am going to start a new, only killing on special occasions type of life, what should my name be?
I don't think it should have anything to do with killing or hurting people.
So 'Murderess' is out, and 'Assassina' as well.
Why did I even think of those names?
It's the only thing I've known for a while now! Cut me some slack!
I understand, though I don't want to understand. So anyway, I should run down a list of names that might fit.
Does it have to describe me? Because I could go for something simple like 'Nancy' or 'Brittany' or 'Lois'.
I think it should it be a little more original than that. I've got as much time as I need, and I don't want him to be disappointed!
Who cares if he's disappointed?
I kind of care a little.
Why do I care?
Because he's nice! I said that!
But I also hate him.
I don't hate him!
I do.
But I don't!
I agree to disagree.
I guess that's as good as I'm going to get for now. But I'm off track! I need a name, right?
I still like 'Deathwing'. It's cool and intimidating.
It has her name in it! I'm not listening to her anymore, so I shouldn't have her name in my name.
Maybe I could just change the 'Death' part? I could be… Ironwing? Sharpwing? Darkwing?
I don't think I'm a duck.
Of course I'm not a duck, I'm a Skarmory!
That completely went over my head, didn't it?
Probably, yeah.
Ah, well. At any rate, I don't like just changing the 'Death' part. That doesn't seem like I'm trying at all either.
But then what should I do?
Maybe I could try making my name what I am, or what I want to be?
That's the best idea I've had all day!
I have my moments. Still like 'Deathwing', though.
I am not going to keep my name as Deathwing!
Fine, fine, I understand. But getting back on track, I should make my name something I am or want to be!
So what do I want to be? A good Skarmory? Should I be that?
Only if I want my name to be 'Goodgirl' or something like that.
I don't think that sounds good.
I don't like it.
I think maybe I should try something else.
I think that's a good idea.
I should still try to be a good Skarmory, though. I just shouldn't base my name around that.
Maybe I should try to be all dainty and ladylike, right? Make up for all the bad stuff I did?
So I'm thinking of, what, Lady? Eliza? Scarlett?
What about Skarlett?
I think that's horrible, and I should never do that again.
I kind of agree.
I liked it!
Nobody asked me!
How long have I been here, anyway?
I've been here the whole time; I've just been quiet. I guess… I guess I'll stop talking now.
Good. Outbursts like that could distract me.
Should I go take a hike?
Yeah, I probably should. It'll let me clear my head.
Ok, then. Tell me if I come up with a name!
Will do. Now, back on task... my name.
Deathwing?
Would I please stop that?
Fine, jeez. I don't have to get so angry. That's my problem.
Ooh! I could have my name be about not getting angry anymore! Like… Serenity! Or… Peace!
That's fine, I suppose, provided I don't mind sounding like a hippie.
What's a hippie?
I don't feel like explaining it right now. I'll tell me later. Let's just say… no to Peace and Serenity. And Mercy, because I know that's the next thing on my mind!
How did I know that?
I have my methods. And, to be honest, I'm pretty predictable.
So predictable my name could be… Destiny?
Still sounds too much like a hippie, in my opinion. But I'm getting somewhere. Maybe I should stay away from naming myself after an emotion, or some kind of philosophical concept.
Maybe I should reference something, you know? Like that Meditite's name is Medici, which was an Italian political dynasty, and the Treecko's name is Inigo, which is a reference to some movie.
The Princess Bride! It's a good movie!
I've seen it?
No, I haven't seen it. But I've heard really good things. I kind of want to see it some day. Ooh! Maybe my name could be…
I am not naming myself 'Princess', 'Buttercup', or any combination therein.
Oh…
I kind of like the medieval theme, though. Since I'm a Steel type Pokémon, I could be some sort of knight in shining armor.
Were there any female knights?
Jeanne Hachette? Joan of Arc? Queen Isabella?
How do I know that?
I read it somewhere, once.
I can read?
Maybe. I might have just heard someone talking about it. I can't be too sure.
I don't think I can read… the books are all way too small. And I don't speak any human languages!
True, I don't… I kind of liked Hachette, but it sounds a lot like 'Hatchet'.
But that's good for me! Because I'm a giant, flying, metal bird that cuts people… oh. Right. I'm not naming myself after a Death thing.
Right. Exactly. I catch on quick enough, I suppose.
I still like the Medieval theme. Ooh! What about Knightwing?
Can I get off the 'wing' names, please?
I guess, but what else is Medieval? Horses don't really work; Castle is… a stretch, kind of. Plus it's not really a living thing, not is it?
I think I've got it!
Me again?
Seriously, I thought I was going to take a hike!
I did! But I came back a few minutes ago and heard me talking and I thought up a really fitting name for me that has a medieval theme!
` Well, all right, I suppose I'll give it a listen.
I was thinking, like, I'm really big, right? And I wanted to be something classy and feminine but sort of imposing and stuff!
Where did I get all of that? I didn't say anything about that.
But I was thinking it!
I suppose it sounds like a good idea anyways…
I know, right? But anyway, I thought of a way to really embody the bigness, and the medievalness, and the powerfulness, and the…
Would I just come out with already?
…
Ooh. I kind of like that.
I know, right?
I have to agree, it's a fitting name. I think he'll like it. Not that I care.
I do care, don't I?
Not even a little. But I think I should, at the very least, let him know that I'm ready, right?
Right! I think I should do that.
And so I started knocking against the wall of the Pokéball, so that it would start vibrating and flashing and stuff. After a few minutes, the ball opened, and I burst out of it, impulsively letting out a shrill cry. I should probably stop doing that.
He was there, wearing the black visor and the green jacket like always. The Meditite that always seemed ready to beat me up was there too, and I saw the other people and Pokémon standing what they considered a safe distance away.
He smiled at me, waving hello. "Well?" He asked me. "What'll it be, then?"
I thought for a moment, making sure that I'd be able to live with the name forever, and decided that… yeah, I could.
"I kind of like the name… Dragonette," I said, hoping it sounded as regal and cool as I thought it did.
I don't know if it did, but he cracked a wide grin when the Medici translated it back to him. "I kind of like it too, actually," he complimented. "Dragonette it is, then!
I'd kind of wanted some kind of fanfare or something, but it's nice that he likes the name.
I think there might be something happening, though! He's reaching behind and pulling something out!
What is it? What is it?
It's…
"Here,' he said, placing a large dish in front of me. "Medici made stir-fry for dinner tonight. Eat up, and then head back into your Pokéball, all right?" He smiled at me. "You're doing a great job, Dragonette. Keep on being yourself and one of these days you'll be able to roam like these guys get to." He pointed at his Cyndaquil, then the Meditite, and then back to his Squirtle. "Baby steps, though. Got to learn to not kill people before you can fly, right Dragonette?"
He keeps using my name! He must really like it!
He's trying to reinforce the new identity I'm constructing for myself with repetition and positive conditioning.
I think it's working, too!
I sure hope so. Otherwise I'm stuck with me forever.
I'm confused.
Yes, I am.
Me too!
I didn't ask me!
Aw…
Vanna
It's amazing. It's absolutely amazing.
A little over two weeks ago, that Skarmory was tearing up forests and trying to bite Axel's head off. Now it's almost eating out of his hand!
Hee hee. That's my Axel, I suppose.
I'm starting to get a little concerned, actually. This is a man who helps random strangers, including wild Pokémon, on a whim. A trainer who understands Pokémon so well that he can talk them down from being corrupted serial killers! It's almost unnatural, really, and he somehow pulls it all off with a smile on his face.
This is bad. I'm really starting to get attached to this guy.
After dinner was over, the Skarmory went back into its Pokéball like it had been told (again, amazing!) and we began to pack up camp, opting to move to wherever the Scizor and its comrades had made their base. I started pulling down the tent that I'd just set up, and came to a sudden, horrifying realization.
I can't go with them.
I can already see it, Axel charging those hunters, smacking them around and sending them running with their tales between their legs. And that was just him personally, with all his Pokémon with him, he'd be a whirlwind of righteous fury, except without any anger, just… good intentions.
If I was there when this happened, I… I don't think I'd be able to help myself. I'm having a hard enough time as it is. I needed to think of something; some reason to not leave completely, but not be around for a day or two, but what?
As we walked to the edge of the woods, I almost gave up hope, but a sign posted on a tree nearby caught my eye, and I smiled. I really do get lucky, don't I?
"Axel, Amber…" I said, stopping suddenly. "I was just thinking; should we really all just… go in at once like this? Shouldn't we inform the authorities first?"
"Ideally, yes," Amber sighed. "But you know he never thinks of that."
"I thought of it!" Axel lied, suddenly defensive. "But… um… there isn't really any time, right? The White Corn Hunters or whatever could be back at any time, and we've got to be ready!"
"Then I'll go," I offered, making the most sincere face possible. "I actually know the local Pokémon Ranger around here; his cabin's a few miles south." This was true, I should add. I'm not just trying to lie my way out of this. "I'll go alert him and catch up with you guys later, ok?"
"Ms. Vanna," Gallant said immediately, taking a knee as he likes to do. "If it pleases you, could I accompany Mr. Jackson and Ms. Gold? I feel I should lend my services to these warriors, particularly because someone will need to pick up the slack that the Treecko leaves behind."
I have to say; I'm finding Gallant's rivalry with Inigo more adorable with each passing day. How could I say no? "That's fine, Sir Gallant. I'm sure Xatu, Gardevoir and I will be able to make do on our own."
"Wait, wait, hold on," Axel said, smile actually dropping. "You're going to go out alone without Gallant? I mean, Xatu and Gardevoir or strong, sure, but…"
"What's a matter, Axel?" I fake pouted. "Afraid that I won't get anything done without a man around?"
He turned beet red, which almost made me do the same. "No, no! Nothing like that, but…" He waved frantically through the air, trying to assure me of what I already knew. "I just… I don't know. I've had a bad feeling in my gut all day. I'd feel better if you just came with us."
Tricky. I hadn't expected any resistance, and it's actually a little hard to meet Axel's eye at the moment. But I can't go! Plus, the more I think about it… the more I realize someone probably should contact the authorities. It's actually a bit sad I only thought of that because I needed a way out of something.
Ah well. Not like I can control how my mind works.
"I'll be fine Axel, really," I reassured him, grasping his shoulder gently, but firmly. "Ranger German is actually an old friend of mine; he's not going to let me get hurt, even if there is something out there."
Axel bit his lip, and I could almost see the gears turning in his head as he tried to think up a solution that made us both happy. Eventually, without saying a word, he grabbed Qwill off his shoulder and held him in front of himself.
"Qwill," he said, almost sounding like a military general. "I want you to go with Vanna. Listen to what she tells you to do, and keep her safe; and feel free to disregard the first order if it conflicts with the second one, all right?"
I fought to keep my jaw from dropping. He was sending Qwill with me? His Starter Pokémon? The Pokémon he'd had for the longest, and possibly cherished more than any other?
Control yourself, Vanna. In a few minutes, the temptation will be removed completely.
Qwill, responding as enthusiastically as usual, barked cheerily, then leapt out of Axel's hands and perched on my shoulder. He didn't weigh as much as I thought he did. I walked around tentatively, thinking that it would be awkward, but Qwill kept perfect balance throughout the whole thing. It's like he's bolted to my arm! So cute.
"Well, all right Axel," I said. "If it makes you feel better, I'll take Qwill. Thank you."
"Nah, thank you," he smiled back. "I would have been worried sick if you'd just left, but having Qwill go with you is basically like going myself, so I can rest easy." He waved. "Thanks, Vanna! Do be careful, ok?"
"Don't worry!" I called back; mock scolding him. "I am a Gym Leader, after all, Axel. I can take care of myself!"
Pro tip. When travelling anywhere by yourself, don't ever say that.
Author's Note
For once, I'm actually at a loss for what to put here.
I'd do the alternate names thing, but… well, it's late, and I've done all the good ones. Medici, Inigo, Shelligan, and Qwill… they've all only ever been named that. Heck, I've even always intended to name Skarmory Dragonette. Note, while the name is a reference drop, it really isn't significant. Yet. Might not ever be, but I might get one or two good puns out of it.
… Yup…
Maybe I should just ask for reviews? Plugs? C2 memberships? Nah, that's sleazy. And it's not really my style, either. Then again, that's probably why I don't have all that many views, either…
Hm….
This is legitimately my stream of consciousness, too. I feel I should say that. Some of the other author's notes are scripted or edited, but this… just spell checked. Don't want to make it seem like when I'm completely unfiltered I'm also illiterate.
Not exactly the best impression for an author to give, huh?
Nope.
Then again, stream of consciousness is how I've done some of my better works. I remember sitting in class once (not that I'm saying you should write in class), and getting so bored I just wrote the sentence: 'it was that kind of night.' I kept adding on sentences that seemed like they should go after the other sentences until it turned into the first scene of a noir-type detective novel. I might have it somewhere, let me see if I can find it…
Hold on a sec.
Found it! And would you look at that, I completely misremembered what the first line was. Ah well. Here it is! I don't think I'm going anywhere with it, but I like it. The only thing I've edited is any BIG swear words, since I've kept this story strangely PG-ish so far.
Wednesday: dark. A clear sky with no stars. Odd. It's nights like tonight that spur on split-second feelings and urges, that inspire teenage sweethearts to drive to the local hangout and stare up into the sky's milky wonders. And to do other things as well, naturally. It's nights like tonight that give the poet and the painter the briefest glimpse into the quintessence of their art, and drive them to madly compose until they can capture that inkling and preserve it for future generations. It's nights like tonight when the wolf howls in madness and loneliness, and all those who hear it pause and sigh: 'yes. That's right.'
It wasn't exactly the kind of night I wanted to be crammed into a small corner booth of a worn-down diner, doing my best to stay discrete while keeping on eye on someone for a client, but that's how business goes sometimes. At least there's a window, so I can imagine how the cool breeze must feel on the skin, so I can imagine what the moon must look like, hanging still and solitary against a spotless black canvas… but it's… ah, hell. Anymore of this and I'll ruin my 'rough-and-tumble private eye' shtick… as if I had one to being with.
To top off the fact that I was stuck in a hellhole on a night that overflowed with heavenly bliss, I was currently partaking in the most degrading work a man of my field could do: F***ing. Cheating. Boyfriends. This may seem extreme to those of you who aren't in my line of work, but I truly believe anyone who's disloyal in a relationship deserves the death sentence. Then again, it's because of cheaters that I've been able to eat for the last few months, so beggars can't be choosers, I suppose.
I know what you're thinking. 'Now's about the time the man introduces himself by name, followed by his title: Private Eye. He'll rant on for a bit about the state of modern society, and then a beautiful dame will walk in and set the story in motion.'
Ha. I wish. The prospect of one day putting away a major crime boss and snatching away his ridiculously well proportioned trophy wife is 95% of the reason that all men become private detectives. Don't let them tell you otherwise. It's also the reason that 65% of them quit after the first year: because it never happens. The only tail I've ever gotten from seven years working this job was from cute little 20-something redhead, who later stole my wallet. Though that was really my fault: the name 'Red Headly' was clearly fake, looking back.
Hey, I don't claim to be smart: just observant. It's one of the things I make sure I tell my clients before money changes hands. It's also one of the reasons I don't have many clients.
This is very much what Detective Jenkins should have sounded like! Unfortunately, I didn't hit this groove until he was already dead so… ah well.
Reading this, you may assume I have a thing for redheads.
And, well… yup. I don't know why. If there's any college-aged, redheaded females out there who read this, hi! Drop me a line and let me know you care, all right? Promise not to hit on you. Maybe.
Last but not least, and possibly more relevant than usual:
Viva la feminism?