Chapter 37. Hope you guys enjoy. I wanted to make it longer but I have to work and have little time for writing during the week. I will try and post the second half to this tomorrow or Friday. Thanks so so so much for all your lovely reviews. You guys are so kind. Hope this explains a little more about Jacob and Sonia. Happy reading.
"Thanks for letting me stay off school mom." I told her as we ate breakfast.
"I understand...all this...stuff...going on." She said nervously. She was wearing her dental technicians uniform and looked so jumpy.
"Call in sick mom. Stay off. Please..." I begged her. What if some she got in some stray vampires path. "Tell them I`m really sick and you need to look after me. Just...don`t go. Don`t leave the rez." I clutched at her hand over the table. She nodded her head.
"I`m not leaving you alone here anyway...you`re all I have. If anything ever happened to you..." She choked up and put her hand over her mouth.
"Nothing will happen to me or to you mom. Jacob promised that we`ll be safe...I trust him."
"I hope your trust is well placed then. Why is this happening? Why now?"
"It all comes down to Bella."
"That girl!" My mom growled.
"The boys changed cause the Cullen`s stayed here too long. Jacob...is attached to her..."
"Attached? Sonia! They are going out! Dating!"
"You don`t have to remind me...but I have a feeling that...that Jacob...has come to his senses a little where she is concerned." I said carefully.
"Sonia...please...Jacob has screwed you over so many times. Don`t go rushing back into his arms because you think he will get hurt. He won`t die!"
"I`m not going to do that!"
"I know you Sonia. You love him. You are a typical Aries. Quick to anger and quick to forgive."
"I cusp on Taurus though." I muttered. "I can`t help that I love him."
"I know, but don`t let it blind you. I don`t want to see you hurt again. Maybe Jacob is regretting getting with Bella. Maybe now that he has gotten what he had finally wanted that he realizes up close that she isn`t what he imagined or what he needs. That`s his problem not yours. Don`t buy into this crap that he needs to get her out of his system before he moves on. That is not fair to you. You were straight with him from the beginning. He wasn`t! Bella was always in the background."
"Maybe now she`ll finally be gone."
"I hope so. She is nothing but trouble. How could a guy as nice as Charlie have a daughter like that?"
"Maybe she gets it from her mom?"
"I dunno but she is bad news! I hate girls like her! You know in the end they always get what they want and leave a trail of destruction and broken hearts behind them!"
"She is one of those girls isn`t she? But she hasn`t gotten everything she wants."
"What do you mean?"
"I`m pretty sure she`s using Jacob...for sex."
"For sex?" My mom spluttered. "So Jacob has had sex with her...he is a man after all."
"No...he hasn`t slept with her. She`s been trying to get him to but he won`t...because of me."
"You`re his imprint...I don`t really understand what that means but...you slept with him first didn`t you?"
"Yes." I admitted, red faced. I so didn`t want to talk about this with my mom.
"I remember your nana telling me something...when he had first imprinted on you. She was terrified you would jump into bed immediately with each other."
"Why?" I remember nana saying something about me being a virgin. She seemed upset about it.
"She said that if one of the imprinted is a virgin then they won`t be able or won`t want to have sex with another person who wasn`t their mate or something."
"We were both virgins."
"That explains it then."
"It sounds so cold."
"How?"
"Even if Jacob wanted to have sex with her he can`t. He just wouldn`t be able to get it up or something."
"You misunderstand me Sonia. I think what you and Jacob have, your bond, it goes beyond sex. It is something that, once found, changes you. For the better in your case. I think it is something that both of you don`t fully understand. You are both scared of it."
"I am scared mom. Ever since that day at school when he looked at me...I changed...I felt..."
"Complete?"
"More than that. I felt that Jacob...he called to me. He sang to my soul and it was the most lovely song I had heard in my entire life. I knew I would never have to hide from him. I wanted to give him everything I was to make him happy. I wanted to protect him and keep him safe. I just wanted him and it was the scariest thing I had ever felt. To look at someone you have gone to school with your entire life...someone you thought you knew...and have your world...your entire self changed...because you have found the one you were meant to be with. I`m still scared mom...I don`t know how to do this. It`s easy saying be strong and don`t give in but when he looks at me or when I know he needs me it`s too difficult to say no. It`s impossible...because I know deep down that in the end we are going to be together. We are going to be happy together. What`s the point in fighting it anymore? It is so clear...how can he not feel it too?"
"Oh Sonia...he imprinted on you. He feels it too I`m positive. I think...he`s just as scared as you are...more even. He`s frightened of his power...it musn`t be easy to handle. I know he`s scared. Jacob is complicated...I know he has issues. Like Rachel and Rebecca, he hasn`t come to terms with his moms death. Maybe he`s scared to get too close to a woman and have her snatched away from him. Perhaps that`s why he is with Bella. To save her. He doesn`t want to feel the same helplessness he felt when Sarah was killed."
"That must have been terrible." I whispered.
"Heartbreaking. Maybe he distances himself from you emotionally because if he ever lost you, it would destroy him completely. Self protection."
"You should have been a shrink."
"It`s plain to see, when you look deep enough. He has feelings for Bella, a form of attachment. He doesn`t want to see her die or worse, turn into the one thing he hates the most. He would be like he failed to save his mom again."
"I just wish I could help him, if he just opened up to me I would listen and not judge him."
"Imprinting is strange. It`s like you both know that the other understands, but subconciously. If this was any other guy you would have been finished with him now but...you say Jacob can`t stay away from Bella, in reality he can`t stay away from you, or you from him. When it happened...the imprinting I mean, you didn`t have any type of relationship. You weren`t even friends, he had no place in your heart. When it did happen, he filled your heart completely. You weren`t in love with anyone else I don`t think so for you it was clear from the first second. Jacob loved Bella...then he had this sudden rush of feelings for you. A girl he didn`t really know either. I will never justify what he is doing to you...never in a million years...but love is never straight forward. It takes time to get used to changes, especially one as big as imprinting, finding your true love."
"So what you`re saying is to just give it time?"
"Yes. Be there for each other but don`t go back to him until he has proved to you how much he loves you. He should come talk to me before trying to win you."
"Mom!" I giggled. "These aren`t the olden days. You would have him playing a courting flute and bringing meat to our house next."
"He has to show that he is worthy of you. Just because he imprinted on you doesn`t automatically give him the right to have you. Actions speak louder than words. Tell me...what has he done for you lately?" I rolled my eyes and smiled at the Janet Jackson reference.
"Protecting the tribe for one." I pointed out.
"For you personally Sonia."
"He fixed my car."
"That was months ago! When he realizes he how much he wants you then he will work extra hard to win you back. You are worth it Sonia. Don`t accept anything less than the best."
"I won`t mom." I left my seat and went round to her. Sitting on her lap I gave her a tight hug and a huge kiss on the cheek. "I love you mom."
"I love you too baby girl. It`s crazy, it seems like just yesterday I was bringing you home from the hospital, wrapped up in a fuzzy pink blanket. You`ve grown up so fast."
"Why don`t you have another baby with Michael?" I always wanted a brother or sister.
"One step at a time with him, I just agreed to marry him you know." She admired the huge diamond on her finger for a while. It sure was a pretty ring. I got up and put the dirty dishes in the sink to wash them.
"You know you don`t have to wait for me to finish high school. Get married when you want."
"I want to wait for you to finish high school. It`s a bad time to move to Port Angeles...and I`m not that sure Michael would want to live here."
"What you think is right. You better call your boss and tell him you`re not going in."
"Baby baby baby oooohhhh baby baby baby ohhhhhh. Thought you`ll always be mine." I sang down to little baby Noah, who was gurgling happily in my arms. He was so gorgeous that he was edible.
I was over at Kim and Jared`s place, taking care of Noah so they could have some...alone time before Jared had to leave for the fight after the bonfire. I could hear the bed in their room squeaking furiously and had to stifle a snort of laughter as Kim`s moans of pleasure were getting louder and louder. God that was disturbing. Kim was my friend, I didn`t want to hear her sex noises. Jared`s were a million times worse, deep grunts, as he encouraged his baby to "go faster". Sick! Shudder!
Poor little Noah. You are sure going to have issues when you are older if you hear your parents going at it like that all the time. Poor baby.
"Ahh Noah...you are the cutest little boy ever! I love you...yeah...yeah..." I crooned as Noah looked up at me with big brown eyes and blew spit bubbles. "Ahhhh...look at you...what are you doing huh?" I said in a stupid little baby voice. I couldn`t help it though...he`s so cuddly.
"Looks like you`ve imprinted on Noah." A voice said from the window. Jacob.
"Nah...I think I`m in love though. Do you think Kim and Jared will let me keep him?" I asked, kissing his head of black hair. So cute. Jacob climbed in through the window.
"Maybe...sounds like they`re making him a new brother or sister in there." Jacob said as the squeaking and banging became faster. I blushed and shifted Noah, holding him to my chest.
"Poor little bean. You don`t need to hear that now." I breathed in his baby smell and smiled. I so hope my mom will have a baby soon. Jacob looked at me fondly, smiling.
"You like babies?" He asked. Coming over and stroking Noah`s tiny little hand.
"Who couldn`t resist their charms? You wanna hold him?" I asked.
"I`m afraid I`ll break him. He looks happy where he is."
"So...why are you here?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could.
"To see if you needed any help with Noah." Jacob lied.
"Oh...is that the only reason?" I pressed. Looking at him straight in the eye. Jacob smiled a little.
"To see you. I want to know how you are doing."
"Okay...all things considering. What about you? And Bella?"
"I`m okay `suppose. Bella is freaking out...Edward and I are taking her out of harms way, up in the mountains, leaving false trails around to confuse the new borns."
"Are you staying up on the mountain?" I asked, swallowing my fear.
"No, the plan is to take her up there tomorrow morning, set up camp, I`ll be staying there for that night just to make sure everything is okay, then the next morning me and Edward will leave to fight. Seth will be staying with her. Collin and Brady are staying put on the rez."
"Keeping the younger ones out of harms way."
"Exactly."
"Why is...Edward...camping with you guys?" I asked carefully. Jacob looked hard faced.
"To make sure Bella is okay I suppose."
"But if they have broken up then..."
"I know Sonia." He said forcefully. He knows?
"You know?" My heart began to thump faster.
"I know about the little conversation you and Brady had in your car." He said gently. "I know what he told you."
"I was waiting for you to find out about that. Don`t blame him...he`s just a kid."
"I don`t blame him or you. He told the truth after all." He looked out the window and then to the direction of the bedroom, Kim had let out a long wail of pleasure and Jared was growling with satisfaction. "Sounds like they are finished up in there."
"Jacob...if you feel as though Bella is leading you on then break up with her." I advised.
"What is she breaks down or something? I can`t do it now!" He looked at me in desperation.
"She is older than you! You are not responsible for her or what she does! Please Jacob...she is using you!" I can`t tell him! I have to let him figure it out by himself.
"That`s what everybody keeps telling me. I can`t see why though. I don`t believe she has it in her to be that cruel." He stated, shaking his head. I put baby Noah down in his moses basket.
"Believe what you want Jacob...just..." I couldn`t finish. Jacob turned to me and cupped my face.
"I have given up a lot to make sure she is safe. To keep her alive. I have acted like a fool time and time again just to make her see that being alive is something precious! Something that shouldn`t be taken for granted. If being with her is the way to do it then I`m gonna try."
"At the expense of us?" I clutched at his hands. He scrunched his face up, pained.
"I`m the biggest idiot in the world Sonia...there is nothing I want more than me and you. I`ve made the biggest mistake of my life and there is no way to fix it." He rested his chin on top of my head and pulled me into him.
"If you want me...break up with her...tell her it`s over." I whispered into his chest. His arms around me tightened.
"If I break up with her she`ll go back to Edward. She`ll become one of them."
"That`s her choice Jacob." He pushed me away when I said that.
"A stupid choice! I want her to live!" I whisper shouted.
"Don`t get angry! Not here!" I whisper shouted back. I went over to Noah`s basket and checked that he was okay. He was sleeping peacefully.
"I`m sorry...I..."
"Jacob." Jared`s deep voice greeted his pack mate from his bedroom door. He looked an odd mixture of utterly satisfied and annoyed.
"Sam sent me over to tell you that the bonfire is in an hour." Jacob informed him. Jared just nodded.
"We`ll see you and Bella there." Jared said rudely. Jacob nodded this time and turned to leave.
"See you guys there." He said, before closing the front door behind him.
"What a douche." Jared muttered, giving the closed door the finger. "Fucking Bella bitch."
"Why do you hate her?" I asked. Jared made an angry face and whispered.
"She called my Kimi plain. Plain! Can you believe that? I`ll show her fucking plain!"
It was cold as the sky turned a dark navy blue. We were gathered on the beach, the pack, the imprints, the elders, but missing Jacob and Bella. We took spots around the fire and we began to chat and joke. The guys, it seemed, were excited by the prospect of fighting so many vampires. Emily was over doing it by looking a bit too bright, but you could see underneath she was terrified. She never left Sam`s arms. Kim`s after sex orgasmic glow had faded. She was snappy and kept on casting Jared dark looks as he joked about with Paul.
"Fucking men!" She muttered to me. "They`ll be strutting next to show how manly they are!" I knew she was terrified she`d lose Jared. Theirs was one of the most romantic imprinting stories. She had been in love with Jared for years, willing him to take notice of her as she was way too shy to ever make the first move. For her it was and always had been clear, Jared was the only one for her. And Jared was fiercely protective of Kim. For him, after he`d imprinted, there was never any question as to whom he was going to share the rest of his life with. The way he looked at her, still, was the look of a man falling head over heels for the first time in his life. They suited each other perfectly. Jared was calm, intelligent and logical to the point of being Data from Star Trek: The next Generation. He was never over emotional, and the only one in the pack besides Sam who could completely control his anger. But Kim brought out his soft side. Kim was smart, so pretty and adorable, but so quiet with people she doesn`t know that it would take a lot of coaxing to get her to open up. From Jared she got confidence, from Kim he got the ability to show his feelings.
What did I get from Jacob? What did he get from me? I knew we gave each other headaches most of the time. I sat next to Mr. Black and Rachel and made polite conversation. Rachel looked so much like Jacob it was strange. She took my hand.
"Is there any chance you`ll give my idiot brother a second chance?" She asked hopefully.
"Once he quits Bella I`ll consider it." I told her gently.
"I think he already has...in his heart at least." She whispered to me, for we spotting one tall figure and the other short walking towards the fire from the road. They were standing at least a meter apart. I kept my eyes trained on Jacob as he came closer. His eyes, so dark, were full of a quiet pleading for understanding. I looked down at the sand then into the fire. It still hurt.
"We will begin." Mr. Black spoke with a voice so full of authority that everyone immediately fell silent and gave him their full attention. I gave Jacob one last glance before setting my gaze back on Mr. Black. He was watching me with an expression that was so full of adoration that I blushed.
"The Quileutes have been a small people from the beginning. And we are a small people still but we have never disappeared. This is because there has always been magic in our blood. It wasn`t always the magic of shape-shifting...that came later. First, we were spirit warriors."
Second half coming up soon. What will happen next? Remember to review and criticize. It makes the story better and gives me so much inspiration. Besos.