It's amazing how one minute I'm contentedly sitting on an old weathered bench at the Dauntless playground, nursing my daughter and watching my husband and son happily play while my unborn child stretches within me and the next moment visions of slow, painful murder dance in my head. My hatred of the bitch standing behind me hasn't lessened. As a matter of fact, I think it's grown as impossible as it may seem.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I repeat.
"Should you really be talking that way in front of your kids?" she says with false sweetness lacing her voice. I turn and see Tyler staring at me from the bottom of the slide while Tobias determinedly marches my way. "Hello, Tobias. It's lovely to see you." There's nothing false in her voice when she speaks to him. I'm no fool. She's in love with my husband.
"You're not supposed to be here, Olivia," Tobias gruffly says when he reaches me, his Four mask firmly in place. "You're not welcome in Dauntless anymore."
"Why is it you only act this way when she's around?" she pouts. "We shouldn't have to hide our love and pretend anymore." I can feel my blood start to boil but Tobias' fury keeps me rooted in place.
"Is there something wrong with you?" he hatefully spits. I notice movement at the same time Tobias does. "Tyler, buddy, will you go back and play? I'll call you when we're ready to go home." He hesitates for a minute then turns and runs back to the slide. Tobias takes two steps forward and gets in the bitches face. "Hear me now." His voice is low, steady, and deadly. "This is the last time I'm going to say this to you." I've never heard him sound quite like this before. If he were to ever speak to me like this, I would be terrified of him. "I. Do. Not. Like. You. I have never liked you. We do not have a relationship. We will never have a relationship. I am a married man and whatever game this is you're playing is disrespectful not only to me but to my wife, and I'm not going to stand for it anymore. You have no business here. Leave … before I have you arrested for trespassing." He holds his arm out in the direction of the factionless sector.
"I'm not playing any games," she says, squaring her shoulders and jutting out her bottom lip. It's obvious that she doesn't like being talked down to. "I can tell by how you look at me that you want me, and I want you, too." Shit, this bitch is crazier than I thought. All at once, three things happens: The bitch grabs my husband and shoves her tongue down his throat, he pushes her off of him, and I push Tessa into his arms after I jump to my feet. My closed fist connects with the left side of her chin, and she flies backwards landing on her ass. I can feel Tobias' hand trying to pull me back as I kick her multiple times in the ribcage.
"Touch my husband again, you fucking bitch, and I swear I'll kill you," I scream at her.
"Tris, love, she's not worth it," Tobias says, pulling me away. "Um, you might want to fix your shirt." I look down at my bare breast hanging out for all to see and feel heat climb into my cheeks. I put myself away and zip up the hoodie.
"Can I have Tessa, please?" I ask, holding my arms out. He hands her to me, and I hold her close, instantly calming down. "Can we go home now?" He nods. I step over the bitch who is moaning at my feet, holding her chin and head toward Tyler. "Hey, buddy. Are you ready to go home?" He looks up at me through lowered lashes, and I see something I rarely see in his eyes … fear. I kneel down in front of him, my heart pounding painfully in my chest. "What's wrong?"
"You so mad," he quietly states. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The last thing I ever want is for my children to be frightened because of me.
"Did I scare you?" I ask. He just stares back at me with wide eyes, and it feels like a knife is slowly thrust into my heart over and over again. I've got to fix this. "I'm so sorry I scared you, buddy. Mommy didn't mean to."
"Who she?" he asks, looking over my shoulder.
"She's no one," I stress.
"She kiss Daddy," he states, tears welling up in his eyes. "He gonna leave us?" That fucking bitch. If I could get my hands on her again, I would annihilate her.
"Tyler Aaron Eaton, I'm not going anywhere," Tobias says, kneeling down beside me. "You, Tessa, and Mommy are my family … my life, and I love you all very, very much. I would never leave you."
"You kiss hew like Mommy."
"No, I didn't," he says. "I promise."
"Mommy hit hew," he says.
"Yes, she did," he proudly says.
"But you tell me it bad to hit," he says. Oh, God! Tobias and I look at each other. He's absolutely right. How are we going to handle this?
"You're right," I say. "It isn't nice to hit. Mommy shouldn't have done that." Not where you could see me anyway.
"You say sowwy?" he innocently asks and I sigh. Yeah, I can do that for him. I manage to get to my feet and hold my hand out to him. I have to do a better job of being a parent. He takes my hand, and I lead him to the bitch who is now sitting on the bench I vacated, holding her side. I can see the bruise coming out on her chin already, and I hide my smile for Tyler's sake.
"I've taught my son that hitting another person is never the way to resolve a problem. I'm sorry I lost my temper but you need to learn boundaries." Whore. "Don't ever kiss my husband again. He doesn't want you. He's told you that countless times. Do you understand me?" She narrows her eyes at me then finally nods.
"If you forget what Tris is saying to you, I'll make good on her earlier promise," Tobias says. It was more of a threat but I get what he's saying. "Come on, guys." He lifts Tyler up and puts him onto his shoulders then we head back toward the compound. "I'm sorry."
"Not your fault," I gruffly say.
"You're angry," he says.
"Not at you," I say. We're quiet the rest of the way to the Pire even though there's a lot to say.
"Time for bed," Tobias says when we enter the apartment. He sits Tyler on his feet by the couch. He turns and looks up at us.
"Thank you fo taking me to the pawk," he says. "I had fun."
"I'm glad you had fun," I say. "Can you go upstairs and change into your PJs? Mommy and Daddy will be up in a few minutes to tuck you in."
"Otay," he says then he carefully climbs the stairs.
"That was a hell of a punch," Tobias says, taking my right hand in his. We look at the red, abraded knuckles. "I've never loved you more than when you dropped that bitch on her ass."
"I've never been angrier in my life than when she kissed you," I spit, remembering her lips on his. "I could have ripped her head off with my bare hands."
"I'd have let you," he murmurs.
"Let's get the kids to bed then we can talk," I say. Tessa fell asleep on our way home and doesn't know that anything is wrong but I'm worried that witnessing his mother in a brawl will keep Tyler awake long past his bedtime.
"Okay," he says. We turn the lights off and go upstairs.
"I'll put her to bed," I say. "Would you like to help me?"
"I'd love to," he says. He sticks his head in Tyler's room and says, "Mommy and I will be in soon. We're putting Tessa down. Okay?"
"Otay, Daddy," he says. We walk into the Tessa's room and while I carefully take her out of her little outfit, Tobias gets her well-worn pink on pink sleeper covered in little hearts out. "This might be too little."
"I hope not," I say. "That little kitten with the heart-shaped glasses is so cute. It's one of my favorites." After I put her in a clean diaper, Tobias carefully dresses her in the sleeper. He's right. This is probably one of the last times she'll get to wear it. He gently picks her up and kisses her forehead.
"Goodnight, Pebbles. Your Daddy loves you so much." I love seeing him with her. There's nothing sexier than a man being a father and taking care of his children.
"Sleep tight, little one," I say as I press my lips to her forehead. "Mommy loves you." After placing her in the crib we go back in to Tyler's room. Tobias stops in his tracks causing me to run into him. "Hey!"
"Sshh," he quietly says. "He's asleep already." With Tobias' help, I lower myself to the edge of his bed and pull his blanket up to his chin and tuck him in.
"I love you, buddy," I quietly say as I kiss his temple. "Sleep well." Tobias leans over and kisses his head and tells him he loves him then helps me up. Tyler's eyes flutter open, and he smiles at us then goes right back to sleep. "That was a close one," Tobias says as we walk into the bathroom.
"I thought we woke him up," I say. "But I doubt he'll remember it in the morning." I take my hoodie off over my head and let it drop to the floor.
"Talk to me, love," he says, gently running his hand down my arm. "I don't want her to ruin our evening."
"I could have easily killed that bitch tonight with my bare hands and not thought twice," I say. "And my son was standing not 20 feet away watching me. What kind of mother does that make me? I feel like a hypocrite, Tobias." I run my hands through my hair. "How is he supposed to take my guidance seriously when I turn around and do the exact opposite of what I teach him? I don't want to be a 'do as I say instead of what I do' type of Mom. My children deserve better. What if he goes to daycare tomorrow and Bobby Ridinger decides to pick on him and he knocks him on his ass because that's what his Mommy did?" Tobias pushes off the sink and wraps me in his arms.
"Tris, love, you need to calm down," he says. I cling to him and will the anxiety away but it goes nowhere. "You are a wonderful, loving mother. Everyone knows that. Please don't doubt yourself. You're right though. We both have to find a balance when it comes to teaching our children values and living a Dauntless lifestyle. I think it's both our instinct to act first and ask questions later. It's what we were taught during initiation. It's how we're programmed, so to speak." I lean back and look up into his eyes.
"But is it right?" I ask. I wriggle my way out of his embrace and head out into the hallway. I stand motionless, my mind spinning, trying to figure out what I'm doing. I feel Tobias standing nearby but he's letting me figure things out on my own. I take his hand and lead him to the stairway. We descend into the living room, which is lit only by the moonlight coming in through the wall of windows.
"What are you doing, love?" he quietly asks from right behind me.
"I don't know," I sigh. I stare out the window at the lit cityscape in the distance and lean against him. His close proximity is making me feel better. "Why do you think she showed up now after all this time? I honestly thought we were free from her."
"I wish I could answer that but I can't," he says. "Maybe it's a coincidence."
"Do you believe that?" He's quiet for a time, and I know what his answer will be.
"No, love, I don't," he says. "She had help fabricating those photos. When Sam died, we just dropped that investigation. Out of sight, out of mind. Well, we'll just have to pick it back up tomorrow."
"So much to do," I mutter. I stand staring out the window leaning against Tobias for quite some time. We don't talk. We don't touch. We don't move. "It's a beautiful night."
"Yeah, it is," he says. "A bit cool though."
"You mentioned dessert earlier," I say. "Maybe we could heat things up."
"Is that a cheesy pickup line you're using on me or are you asking for my famous brownies?" he murmurs in my ear.
"I want brownies, baby," I say with a giggle, my good mood returning. He chuckles as he kisses my neck then turns and leads us into the kitchen.
"Up you go," he says as he lifts me onto the island. "Stay put." He kisses the end of my nose then goes to the large pantry cupboard and rifles through it for a minute or so. When the burning sulfur of a lit match swirls around my head, I realize he's lighting candles instead of turning on the lights.
"Are you going for a romantic ambiance?" I ask.
"Mm-hm," he sexily murmurs as he gathers all the ingredients to make my favorite turtle brownies.
"Can I help you?" I ask.
"You just sit there and look pretty."
"Are you objectifying me?" I tease. He stops and puts his hands on either side of my legs, bringing us face to face.
"Well you do belong to me," he says, his look proprietary.
"Yeah, I do," I say, leaning forward and giving him a quick, chaste, closed-mouthed kiss. "Let me help you."
"I tell you what. If you can sit there while I mix up these brownies and not touch me, I'll reward you later."
"And if I can't keep my hands to myself?" I ask while wiggling my fingers at him.
"Well then maybe I'll keep my hands to myself," he says.
"Okay. I'll play your little game but mark my words," I whisper in his ear, "by the end of the night you'll be begging me to touch you."
"You sound pretty confident," he says.
"You better start my brownies, mister," I say. "Your wife is hungry."
"Alright." He steps away from me and preheats the oven then sits each of the ingredients on the island around me. He's made these brownies numerous times in the past year so he doesn't have to read the recipe anymore. He puts the wet ingredients into a small bowl then starts measuring out the dry ones into a larger one. When he gets to the flour, some of it swirls up like a dust storm and lands all over his black shirt. He tries brushing it off but only proceeds to spread the white powder over the front of his shirt until it looks dark gray. "Ugh. I'm making a mess." He crosses his arms, grasps the hem of his soiled shirt, and rips it up and off his body leaving me a quivering mess of hormones. Hhm. Did he do that on purpose? I squirm a bit where I'm sitting and actually slide my hands under my thighs so I won't be tempted to reach out and rake my nails down his now naked chest. After he finishes the batter, he pours it into a glass baking dish, sprinkles cut pecans over the top, and puts it in the oven. He sets the timer then turns back to me. He runs his finger along the edge of the mixing bowl, gathering up the remaining batter and holds it up in front of me. "Want a taste?" I open my mouth, and he sticks his finger inside. I close my lips around it and suck hard, swirling my tongue seductively around the end, licking the thick chocolate off. I watch his eyes dilate and his breath get caught in his throat. He drags his finger from my mouth and hurriedly replaces it with his eager lips. We move them together with a hungry urgency but my hands stay rooted at my side.
"Ah," I moan when he takes his lips from mine.
"I can taste the chocolate on your tongue, love," he roughly says. "I don't know why but it tastes better coming from your mouth." He puts his hands on my waist and lowers me to my feet. He takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers together, and leads me to the couch. "I thought we would be more comfortable over here."
"Do you have something in mind?" I ask.
"I have a lot in mind," he says. He sits down and pulls me sideways into his lap so my belly is out of the way. He puts his hands in my hair and lowers his lips to my neck. I close my eyes and hang my head back, savoring the feeling of his mouth on me. I ball my hands into fists, itching to touch him but I'm not giving in. He will beg. He slowly untangles his fingers from my tresses and glides his hand down my neck making my body shudder. I feel his smile against my skin and know that he's playing a game, too.
His hand continues south until it lands on my heavy, aching breast. He kneads the tender flesh, bringing the sensitive bud to a hardened peak. It pushes against the lacy fabric of my bra, painfully straining to be free. He French kisses my ear, making me moan loudly while his hand continues to massage my full, rounded mound. I tug on the hem of my form-fitting tank top and lift it off over my head then drop it to the floor. He runs his hands up and down my body, a look of lustful appreciation in his eyes then carefully lowers me to the couch until I'm lying on my back, my legs tangled with his. He lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me with such fervor that it leaves me aching for more.
I grasp the back of the couch with one hand and twist the cushions beneath me with the other. I'm losing the internal battle with myself. Part of me wants to run my hands up and down the chiseled muscles of his back then fist my fingers in his hair while I make love to his mouth with my tongue, glide my fingertips across his stubbly chin while I nibble playfully on his bottom lip, and take him in him hand and guide him into my waiting mouth so I can suck him hard until he explodes. But another part of me really wants to hear him beg me to touch him everywhere at once then follow my gentle caress with tender kisses, put my hands on his straining manhood and release him from his tight confines, glide my tight fist up and down his steel-like shaft before placing him at my moist entrance, and hold on to him tightly while he makes love to me.
He drags his mouth from mine and grazes his lips over my chin, down my neck, and across my collarbone dropping sporadic wet kisses as he goes. He slips my bra strap off my shoulder and traces the outline of each of my ravens one at a time with the tip of his velvety tongue then kisses them lovingly. After he finishes worshipping my largest raven, his raven, he moves his mouth to my lace-covered breast. He sucks hard on the sensitive, rigid bud through the fabric causing it to throb almost painfully. He tugs on the cup, freeing my plump breast then devours it with his hot, wet mouth. I hear myself whimper as I arch my back, which shoves my breast further into his hungry mouth.
"Mmm," I moan. He glides his hand up to free my other breast, which is straining against the suddenly rough-feeling lace. He gently kneads and strokes my aching breasts as he captures my sensitive nipple between his lips. He circles it with the tip of his velvety tongue then sucks on it gently. I move my hands and am about to fist them in his hair when the timer goes off indicating the brownies are done. My arms flop to the side and Tobias gets up off the couch. He helps me to my feet and very carefully fixes my bra, covering my exposed chest.
"There you go," he says with a quick kiss. He grasps my hand and leads me back into the kitchen. He gets the brownies out of the oven, turns it off, and immediately pours the jar of homemade caramel sauce over the pecan and chocolate delicacy then lifts me back up onto the island. The smell of bitter chocolate, pecans, and sweet caramel fills the space and my stomach growls. Tobias laughs as he dishes up a turtle brownie sundae big enough for two. After he puts some whipped cream on the vanilla ice cream, he tops it with a couple maraschino cherries.
"Where's yours?" I tease with a lazy, sexy smile when he sets the bowl down beside me. He puts his hands on my knees and steps between my legs after he pushes my thighs apart.
"I think we'll share," he says, a sparkle in his eyes. He dips up a spoonful of sweet goodness and as he holds it in front of his mouth, he blows on it. I can't keep my eyes off his moist, puckered lips as he tries to cool the hot dessert, wishing they were on me again. He reaches up and runs his thumb over my bottom lip, which I'm nervously gnawing on. "Something wrong, love?" I shake my head. "You want a bite?" I nod. He sways the spoon in front of me so I open my mouth. He places it inside and I wrap my lips around the spoon and take the bite.
"Mmm," I sigh as I chew the mouthful of warm, gooey heaven. He spoons up another bite and after cooling it for a moment I watch as it disappears into his mouth causing me to lick my suddenly parched lips.
"I think these are the best brownies I've ever made," he says. He runs his left hand up my leg and rests it on my thigh while he gives me another bite. We continue this way until the bowl is empty.
"You're right. Those were the best brownies you've ever made," I say as he covers the leftovers. "Thank you." He turns and looks at me.
"Why does it sound like you're thanking me for more than the dessert?" he asks.
"I am," I say. "Thanks for letting me work through my feelings about the bitch on my own."
"You're welcome," he says. "But she is the last thing I want to be thinking about right now let alone talking about." He puts the dirty bowl in the dishwasher after rinsing it out and turns back to me. "You haven't touched me."
"I'm waiting for you to beg," I say.
"Is that right?" he says. I nod as I lean forward and put my lips on his. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close as I kiss him passionately. He drags his lips from mine and says, "How about I take you to bed and make you beg?"
"But you're the one who is supposed to be begging," I pout.
"Okay, love," he says. "I'm ready to beg now."
"Mommy?" we hear Tyler say from the top of the stairs. I sigh and rest my head against Tobias'. "Mommy?"
"Coming, buddy," I say as he helps me down off the counter. I pick my shirt up off the floor and put it back on as I head upstairs. I hear Tessa before I reach the top landing. "Did your sister wake you up?"
"Mm-hm," he sleepily says, bobbing his head up and down.
"How about I help you get back to sleep," Tobias says from right behind me. I step out of the way, and he picks Tyler up who immediately lays his head on his father's shoulder. Tobias leans down and kisses my temple then carries him into his room. I pad into Tessa's room and find her whimpering in the middle of the crib. I pick her up and find that she's on the warm side. I should have known she was coming down with something. I quickly change her diaper and put her in a dry sleeper then go into the bathroom to find some medicine for her. I give her the dose Zander recommended then head back into her room. I sit us down in her rocking chair and put her up to my shoulder and gently rock her in an attempt to get her back to sleep but she keeps whimpering.
"What's wrong, little one?" I ask.
"Is she okay?" Tobias asks as he comes into the room.
"Our girl doesn't feel well," I say. "I think you'll have to beg another night. How's Tyler? Did he go back to sleep?"
"Yeah. I don't think he actually ever woke up," he says.
"Go to bed," I say. "I'll stay up with her until she gets to sleep. She might need nursed again soon."
"I could stay up with her," he says, kneeling down beside me and running his hand over her head. She turns and looks at him then lays her head down again.
"I appreciate the offer but there's a lot that needs to be done tomorrow and there's no need for both of us to be tired," I say. "Go to bed. I'll join you as soon as I can. I love you, Tobias. Thanks for the brownies."
"Alright, I'll go to bed," he says. He kisses Tessa's head then moves his lips to mine. "I'll beg another night. I love you so much, Tris."
"Goodnight." I caress his cheek then give him another soft, tender kiss.
"Goodnight, love."