A/N: Bolded lyrics "Yours" by Russell Dickerson. Second song mentioned "Die a Happy Man" by Thomas Rhett.
"Where are you taking me, Tobias Eaton?" I ask for the tenth time this evening. I know he's taking me someplace outside the main city but I have no idea where, and he's being frustratingly silent on the subject as I sit blindfolded and pouting in the front seat of our car. I try to determine the direction we're going by feeling the sun on my face but he's made so many twists and turns that I've lost track. I swear he has us driving in circles on purpose just to annoy me. I let out a loud, irritated sigh, and I know his amused eyes are on me.
"You're just going to have to wait and see, love. It's a surprise," he says. It's obvious that there's a mischievous smile on his face, and even though I can't see it, I can hear it.
"Baby, why won't you just tell me?" I pout after we've both been silent for what seems like hours.
"It's. A. Surprise," he slowly says like maybe he's unsure I'll understand if he speaks more quickly. "You'll like this. No, you'll love it … I promise."
"How much longer?" This time he sighs.
"Now I know where your son gets it."
"Our son, Mr. Eaton." He chuckles as the car slows to a stop. "Are we here?"
"Yes, love, we're here," he says. I move my hands up to take the blindfold off but he stops me. "That stays on. We might need it later." I hear the sharp intake of breath before I realize I take it.
"I thought you didn't plan any sex," I say, suddenly sounding breathy and needy. I feel his breath on my skin, and I moan softly as he brushes my hair to the side and kisses my neck.
"I didn't," he whispers, his soft, moist lips grazing my ear. "But a blindfold might be fun." Then just as suddenly as he is near, he's gone. He gets out of the car and soon is opening my door for me. He takes my hand and helps me up. I jump when I feel his hand against the small of my back and hear his nearly inaudible chuckle. "I want you to be careful and watch your step."
"I can't see anything," I mumble.
"You know what I mean, love," he says. I can tell he's shaking his head at me. Leaving his left hand on my back, he pulls me against his side and takes my right hand in his. It reminds me of the extremely old fashioned dances that couples did when they were courting and not supposed to touch one another that I've seen in some period movies I've made Tobias watch with me. "I'll lead you where we're going." We walk forward, the light pressure of his hand on my back telling me which way to go. He diligently tells me when to step over things and when to be extra careful. "Okay, there are some stairs here in front of you. We'll go up them one at a time." After going up the five or six stairs, I can tell that we enter a building of some sort but I'm at a loss as to where we are until he sees fit to take this damn blindfold off. He positions me just so then says, "Close your eyes, love, and don't open them until I say so."
"You're bossy."
"And you are a little whiny," he says. "Keep them closed. Okay?"
"Okay," I pout. He unties the blindfold and draws the silky material across my skin, sending a shiver down my spine, kisses my neck, then walks away from me. I think that's the sash of my robe.
"You can open your eyes, love." I take a deep, calming breath and slowly lift my eyelids to reveal a magnificent sight. Standing before me is Tobias with a single pink rose in his hand. Behind him is a makeshift bed of sorts covered in soft white linens piled high with pink, pale purple, and soft white pillows of varying shapes and sizes. Scattered across the bed and floor of the – where are we? I finally look around and see that we are in a train car, which is stopped somewhere near the fence – train car are hundreds of rose petals and dried flowers of the same color scheme. Hanging from the ceiling are hundreds of twinkle lights. I can't wait to see what they look like in the dark. I bet it'll look like a clear, starry night. On the bench is a picnic basket filled with what smells like takeout from the Italian restaurant in town.
"You did all this for me?"
"Yes," he says, offering me the rose. I take it and put it under my nose, inhaling the delicate floral scent.
"How?"
"Well, I had a little help from my friends," he says.
"Thank you," I say as the train lurches forward. I stumble but Tobias grabs ahold of me, steadying me.
"Are you alright?" he asks, concern on his face.
"I'm fine. Part of me thought you were actually taking me back to the compound to the chasm. This is so much better. Not that the chasm isn't special."
"I wanted our date to be something we'd both always remember, and I thought we could take advantage of the situation by marking off one of the places on both our lists. I arranged for the train to ride throughout the city all night. We'll be off the beaten path so we won't get any unwanted visitors."
"That would be embarrassing."
"It would," he says with a slow, sexy smile. "Would you like something to eat?" I want to tell him that in this moment that I only want him but my stomach growls making my decision for me. He takes my hand and leads me to the bed. He arranges the pillows then helps me sit down. "It's a deluxe air mattress."
"I was wondering," I say. "What's for supper? I'm starving."
"A little bit of this and that then we have cannoli for dessert." He retrieves the picnic basket and places it on the bed beside us. He pops the top on the bottle of chilled cider and pours us each a glass. "To us." He raises his glass, and I clink mine together with his then take a sip of the refreshing liquid. "Bruschetta?" He hold the light appetizer up in front of my mouth, and I take a bite. I close my eyes and moan as I savor the bite. I pick up a slice of perfectly toasted bread and put some tomato mixture on it and reciprocate for Tobias. He takes a bite then grins widely.
"What?" I ask.
"Is it going to be like this all night?" he teases. "Tit for tat?"
"Maybe." We sit facing each other on the surprisingly comfortable makeshift bed taking turns feeding each other bites of the wonderful Italian meal in between sweet kisses.
"Would you dance with me?"
"I would but we don't have any music." He gets up and pulls his phone out of his pocket and hits a few buttons then music blasts from the small speakers. The unfamiliar notes sound a bit tinny echoing around the antique train car. He lays it on the bench then holds his hands out and helps me to my feet. He wraps one arm around my waist and grasps my hand with his other and holds it over his heart. I rest my free hand on his muscled biceps and look up into his shining eyes. He leads us in a gentle sway to the rhythmic melody. I came to life when I first kissed you. The best me has his arms around you. You make me better than I was before. Thank God I'm yours. The worst me is just a long gone memory. You put a new heartbeat inside of me. You make me better than I was before. Thank God I'm yours.
"I may not have written that song but it's our story," he says as a new song plays out of his phone. "My life started one year ago when you kissed me. I thought I was worthless, and you've made me see that I actually have purpose. You've often told me you don't know why I love you but the truth is I'm the one who is unworthy. I was a shell of a man before you and, without you, I'm sure my heart would cease to beat. I love you, and I'm proud that I'm yours." He reaches down and tries to wipe the tears away that are flowing down my face as the new singer croons about dying a happy man if all he has is the one he loves. "I didn't mean to make you cry."
"You always say the most romantic things," I say. I graze the fingertips of my free hand across his strong jaw then down his muscled chest. "Who knew that under this tough exterior was such a softie. A year ago this time I didn't. I thought you were scary but I liked you anyway. Who am I kidding, I loved you, Tobias, from the first time I saw you. My soul recognized its mate the moment our eyes locked at the net." I wrap my hand around his neck and pull his mouth to mine. The kiss is slow, soft. He lets out a sigh when he pulls away leaving me breathless.
"I knew I loved you before I let you into my fear landscape, before I let you know the real me. I wouldn't have done that for anyone else but I was too stupid to realize just how deep my feelings ran. I was afraid you didn't … couldn't … wouldn't ever feel the same." His depressed air suddenly turns sunny. "But then you kissed me back. I've never been more terrified in my life. You could have pushed me in the water and told everyone I attacked you." I can't help myself and a giggle escapes my lips. "Something funny, love?"
"It never fails to amaze me just how alike we are," I say. "Well, our feelings anyway. I was terrified when you kissed me, too, but definitely for different reasons. I was so nervous and unsure of myself that when you ended the kiss I convinced myself that I was horrible at it and you would run away," I lower my eyes to his inviting mouth and run my fingers over his soft lips, "but then you kissed me again." His mouth lands on mine as we stop dancing, and we both hastily remove each other's jackets. I didn't know we had migrated to the other side of the car until he pushes me up against the wall. His mouth moves impatiently against mine as his hands snake their way around to my back, pulling me up against his hard body the best he can. I can feel the heat of his fingers radiating through the delicate material of my dress, seeping into my skin. I cup his face between my hands and pull him closer to me still as he deftly thrusts his tongue between my parted lips seeking mine. We let them tangle wildly until neither of us can breathe. My breasts rise as I pull in lungfuls of air, and he glides a hand up my body to cup the swollen flesh. The buds harden under his touch as he teases my aching chest. I watch his face as he devours my body with his stare. Something catches his attention over my shoulder and his eyes light up.
"I want to show you something," he says, panting in my ear.
"I want you inside me, baby," I tell him.
"Soon," he says, kissing my neck right below my left ear sending a shudder of arousal through my body. "I promise, love, we have all night for that." He surprises me by letting go of me when all I want to do is get closer. He hits the button on the wall causing the sliding doors to disappear into the wall. Wind picks up the rose petals and dried flowers, sending them twirling around us like a fragrant tornado. Tobias takes me by the hand and leads me to the bed. He helps me to lounge with my back resting on some of the pillows then sits down beside me. He pulls a blanket out of nowhere and wraps it around us. "Look out there." He points toward the opening in the wall. In the distance, the setting sun is causing a riot of blues, reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows to splash across the night sky, and because of the elevated tracks, we have a spectacular unobstructed view.
"So beautiful," I say, awed by the sight.
"Not as beautiful as you," he says, kissing my temple. "But I wanted to make sure you saw this."
"You timed this?" I ask.
"I hoped for Mother Nature's cooperation," he chuckles. "I almost got carried away and made us miss it." I snuggle closer to him and caress his thigh, accidentally grazing his erection. He gasps at the intimate contact and I blush.
"Sorry," I say. "I didn't do that on purpose."
"I know," he roughly says.
"If you're uncomfortable I could help you with that."
"Always so eager, Mrs. Eaton," he says. "Where'd the girl who would shy away from my touch go?"
"You taught her to love sex," I say. "You are very, very good at it." I'm trying to not be embarrassed about my comment but I can feel heat climbing into my cheeks.
"God, I love that blush," he huskily says. "It's the only thing you're going to be wearing in a second if you don't stop touching me." My hand stills then I pull it away. I didn't even realize I was stroking him through his jeans. He puts his large hand on my neck and gently caresses my lips with his thumb while his other hand rakes through his hair. I forget about the dazzling sunset as I watch my husband's eyes turn a spectacular onyx-color. He wants me. Beatrice … Tris … Six … wife … mother … lover … soul mate … whatever he wants to label me … ME. He wants me.
I struggle out of his arms and to my feet. I hit the button on the wall that closes the door then turn the lever restricting access from the outside. I don't need anyone surprising us tonight. I walk over to the bench and pick up his phone and scroll through his playlists. If I didn't want him so badly in this moment, I could get lost in the abundance of music he has on his tiny phone. I curiously hit the list marked "Tris" and the song we danced to the night he proposed, "Fade into You", comes on. I imagine they're all love songs so it's perfect. I put the phone back where it was sitting then turn around and look at Tobias.
I kick off my boots one at a time, leaving me in my bare feet on the rough wooden floor. I momentarily note that someone swept the floor recently then push the insignificant thought out of my mind. I painstakingly slowly lift my dress up my body a fraction of an inch at a time with just my fingertips while I gently sway to the slow, romantic music. Tobias sits up straighter, his eyes on my body as I expose my bare skin and sexy lingerie to him. I finally pull my dress off over my head and let it float to my feet. I feel my heartbeat start to hammer in my chest as I continue swaying to the music, my eyes glued to his. I've never done anything like this before, never contemplated anything like this before but something makes me continue. I unhurriedly run my hands over my still growing tummy then up and cover my breasts. I massage them like I've only done once before but his appreciation for my actions keep me going. When my rigid, throbbing nipples are pushing so hard against the delicate satin cups of my bra that I think they're going to chafe, I reach behind me and unhook each eye swiftly then let the lace and satin lingerie fall to my feet with my dress.
When my small hands cover my exposed breasts, Tobias lets out a guttural moan unlike anything I've heard before. I hang my head back as I knead the mounds while I sway my hips from side to side. I slowly move my hands up into my hair wondering if what I'm doing is sexy. I open my eyes again and instead of focusing them on his, I look at the bulge in his jeans. I'm definitely doing something right. I slide my hands down my sides to the waistband of my skimpy panties, and he says a word that rarely passes his lips. I pull one side down and then the next until I'm standing completely naked before him.
I close the distance between myself and the bed and as gracefully as I can with my heavy, protruding midsection hampering me a bit, lower myself to my knees on the end. I see a look of concern on his face for a fraction of a second but the moment he realizes that I'm alright, he relaxes. I crawl up the mattress, licking my lips as I go until I'm straddling his thighs. My hands immediately find their target but Tobias has other ideas. He hastily pulls my mouth to his, and I nearly lose myself in the long, fiery kiss. It makes my entire body simultaneously enflame and weaken. It's a heady feeling. I realize that if I don't take back control now, I never will. I drag my lips from his, sucking in an uneven breath and turn my attention to the hardness beneath my fingertips.
"Did you like what you saw, baby?" I ask, my voice raspy and desire laced. He doesn't have to answer. I know that he did. I can feel how much he liked the little floor show. "Are you ready to beg, Tobias? I believe you've made me wait long enough." A smile crosses his lips then he moans loudly as I rub the bulge in his jeans with my palm. "Do you like this?" He mutters incoherently while I kiss the right side of his neck and tease his ear with my teeth and tongue. He pulls in a ragged, uneven breath of his own as I move my hands to his shirt and deftly unbutton each of the buttons. I open his shirt and run my fingertips over my name. If I ever doubt him all I have to do is look at this tattoo. He told me that he wanted me in his heart forever, and I believe him. I lean down and kiss his collarbone then trace his tattoo with my tongue. I glide my hands into his shirt, grazing them across his taut abs, and they tense further beneath my fingertips. "Such a wonderful body," I mutter to myself. I slide my hands up his chest and slip his shirt off his shoulders. He shrugs his arms out of it, and I toss it over my shoulder. I press my body close to his and wrap my arms around his neck. His lips meet mine in a lingering kiss. He slips his tongue between my parted lips and searches every inch of my mouth. He wraps his arms around me and splays his hands on my back.
"I want you," he breaths against my ear.
"Not yet, baby," I say. "You haven't begged."
"I'll give you anything you want if you just let me inside you right now." I hear the need in his voice and feel his straining erection beneath me. He's not kidding. I look into his eyes and shake my head.
"If I did that it would be over before it began and neither of us want that," I say. "Do we, baby?"
"You're killing me, Tris," he roughly says, burying his face in my neck and tightening his embrace like a vice. "Please, love. I'll do anything." I wiggle out of his arms and promptly move off his lap so I can unsnap his jeans. It's nearly impossible to lower the zipper over his bulging erection but I finally manage. As I grasp his waistband, he raises his hips with a groan and angles his body toward mine. I drag his jeans and boxer briefs down his body in one swift motion, and he moans when the restraining fabric finally frees him. I lean over and rest my hands on his hips and put my mouth on his rigid little nipple. I suck it into my mouth then flick my tongue out and tease it. I drag my lips to his other sensitive bud and nibble on it. He gasps and fists the sheets in his hands. I look up into his eyes and see him begging inaudibly for some relief. I forgo any more teasing and lean over and take him in my mouth.
"Mmm," I moan around his hard length as I take him deep again and again.
"Oh, God," he mutters. "So good." I know he isn't going to last long so I synchronize the movements of my hands, mouth, and tongue to give him the best experience I can at the moment. He fists his hands in my hair and repeatedly bucks his hips up until he's hitting the back of my throat. He cries out and shakes violently, spilling himself into my mouth and I quickly swallow although most of it goes straight down my throat then release him from my mouth. He drags me up his body and moves me to straddle his lap. He pulls my lips to his and possessively penetrates my mouth with his greedy tongue. I think he would make love to me in this position right now since he's already rock hard again if it weren't for my big belly between us.
"You're so good at that," he says, not taking his lips off mine. He moves his hands up and down my back, shoulders, and arms, unable to keep them still. "I love you."
"I love you, too." He takes me by surprise when he flips us so that I'm lying beneath him. He gives me a swift kiss then moves his body off mine. He lies beside me, kissing my neck while his hands travel over my bare breasts. He rolls first one sensitive nipple between his thumb and forefinger then turns his attention to the other one. He gets a little overzealous causing me to yelp. "Not so rough, baby. They already hurt." He moves his mouth from my neck and gives me an apologetic look.
"I'm so sorry, love," he says. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
"They're really sensitive today and haven't been that way before."
"I'll be careful with them," he says. "If it gets to be too much just let me know."
"I will," I say as I run my hand through his hair. He kisses me tenderly on my lips then places butterfly kisses across my chest and breasts until he draws a nipple into his mouth. He bathes it with his tongue while massaging the full mound. An involuntary moan escapes my lips, and I lie back and close my eyes. I concentrate on the feeling of his hot, wet mouth soothing my throbbing bud. "It feels good." He switches breasts and takes the bud between his lips. He sucks gently then circles it with the tip of his tongue. I toss my head back and arch my back, pushing my chest into his palms and mouth as spasms of pure pleasure rapidly move through me. It's almost as if there is a direct line between my sensitive nipples and my aching center. I grasp his head to me until the aftershocks cease then I drag in a breath when I can breathe again.
"You are so beautiful," he says. I caress his cheek, and he takes my hand and places a kiss on my palm. He lets it go then starts kissing his way down my body. My sharp intake of breath lets him know that I know what's coming next. He drags his tongue over my belly then he settles between my parted thighs. I go up on my elbows in an attempt to watch him. I like the closeness it gives but it's hard to see over the baby. His eyes lock with mine as he caresses my thighs with his hands and kisses my bent knee. Suddenly he touches my nubbin with the pad of his rough thumb and circles it lightly. My mouth falls open, and I start panting heavily. My breath starts coming in short, choppy spurts. He moves his hand and inserts a finger into my moist, throbbing center. I drop back on the bed as he dips his head down and captures the aching bundle of nerves between his lips. He sucks on it hard and a dizzying explosion comes out of nowhere. I try to close my legs to control the pleasure but he keeps my right leg in place with his body and traps my left leg in his hand. I moan and writhe as he trusts a second finger in and out of me while he laps at my nubbin. I twist my hands in the sheets so hard that I think I might tear them.
"Oh, God … oh, God … oh, God," I chant under my breath over and over, air rushing in and out of my burning lungs. He's trying to make me come again. I'm not sure I can take much more of this. "Baby. God! Shit." I'm about to say stop when my third orgasm rips through me leaving me spent. He releases my legs and kisses his way back up my body while I fight for breath. Suddenly I start shivering from a breeze wafting over my sweat-drenched body.
"Are you okay?"
"Blanket," I say. He reaches over and pulls the blanket around me then lies down beside me. I snuggle into him and let my body absorb some of his heat.
"Is this better?" he asks.
"Much better," I say. I look up at the hundreds of twinkling lights above us and get choked up. "Thank you."
"Love, why are you crying?" he asks as he kisses my face.
"You did all this," I say waving all around the car. "You got me a gift." I hold up my wrist and hear the tiny sentimental charms clang together delicately. "I didn't even know what today was."
"You remembered."
"You had to remind me," I say.
"How about I forget your birthday," he says. "Will that make you feel better?" I roll over and straddle his hips.
"You know what would make me feel better?" I say rubbing myself against him. "You … inside me … now."
"It's about time, love," he says his eyes darkening again. "I've been trying to get inside you all night."
"I'm all yours," I say. I go up on my knees and reach between us. I grasp his length in my fist, pump it up and down a few times, and place him at my entrance then ease myself down onto every hard inch. I pause when he's fully seated in me and say a silent prayer of thanksgiving. When I'm ready to move, I grasp his hands and lace our fingers together. I push myself up then back down slowly at first then as the passion takes over we increase the pace. I feel the stirrings of yet another release as he thrusts himself up into me hard, hitting that special spot. Our moaning mingles with our heavy breathing as we bring each other closer to that place that walks the line between pleasure and pain. I'm seized by a rush of sensation so intense that I nearly pass out and Tobias suddenly stills, groaning long and low as he explodes deep inside me. I collapse on top of him, and he immediately pulls out of me and rolls us onto our side.
After our breathing returns to normal, Tobias gets up and turns the overhead lights off. He pulls on a pair of pants and a sweatshirt after throwing me one, which I pull on over my naked body then opens the doors. He sits down beside me and pulls the blanket up around us. The lights from the passing buildings shine into the car and cast a soft glow. He reaches over and gets the cannoli out of the picnic basket.
"How did you know I was hungry again?" I giggle. He holds the wonderful dessert out in front of me, and I take a bite. I moan in appreciation. "Do you remember the first time we rode on a train by ourselves?"
"I'll never forget," he says, reaching up and tucking an unruly strand of hair that keeps blowing into my eyes behind my ear. "You surprised me when you crawled into my lap. You were brave."
"I'll admit I had to talk myself into it," I say. "I was so nervous but I reminded myself that you were just … Tobias." I run my fingers down his cheek then press my lips to his. He runs his hands up my neck into my hair, holding me in place. He glides his tongue against my bottom lip then nibbles on it lightly. I sigh, and he slips his tongue into my mouth, claiming it. We kiss for the longest time, exploring each other's mouths. The lights of the city turn off indicating that it's now midnight, which finally breaks us apart.
"Do you want to go home?" Tobias asks.
"Do we have to?" I ask, thoroughly enjoying our evening on the train.
"No, we can stay," he says. "I arranged for the train to stay off the main tracks to avoid Dauntless members jumping on and off. I didn't want anyone spoiling our night. I think we needed this downtime before Teagan makes here grand appearance." He places a hand on my belly and I cover it with mine.
"I thought so, too," I say. "I miss the kids but I love when it's just us." I clasp our hands together and raise them to my mouth. "Is that wrong?"
"I don't think so," he says. "I didn't know what unconditional love was until I picked up Tessa and held her in my arms. It's strange to have such a profound connection with a total stranger. I love her and Tyler with all my heart and I miss them like crazy when I'm not with them but I am a man who is very much in love with his wife. I don't know if other men feel like this but I crave time with you." He kisses me sweetly and glides the back of his hand down my face. "And as odd as this may sound, I'm not talking about sex. Don't get me wrong, making love to you … with you is beyond words but I also want to talk with you, laugh with you, joke with you, fight with you … live my life with you. You're my best friend, Beatrice Grace Eaton."
"My romantic man," I say. "I have to admit you're not who I thought I was falling in love with."
"Disappointed?"
"Never. Just surprised. Are you really the same guy who threw knives at my head and made me bleed," we both shudder at the memory, "and talked down to me in front of all the other initiates?"
"I think I am," he says after a moment of reflection. "And for the record, I would throw knives at you every day if I thought that's what it would take to keep you safe. Was I really that bad?"
"No or I wouldn't be here," I say. "I think my inner Abnegation recognized a kindred spirit. Some things you said and did made me question which faction you were from."
"I remember," he says with a chuckle. "You grilled me about it."
"Grilled?"
"Alright, asked me about it," he says, rolling his eyes. "You were very perceptive, still are. Persistent, too. Are you sure you were cut out for Candor? Usually Candor know-it-alls are the only ones who ask so many questions." I hit his arm and he feigns injury and makes a pouty face.
"Is there something I can do to make it better, Mr. Eaton?" I ask, batting my lashes at him.
"I could think of a few things, Mrs. Eaton," he seductively says. I get up and hit the button on the wall and turn the latch, locking out the outside world.
"I think it's going to be a long night," I say as I lift my oversized sweatshirt off over my head.