Chapter 40: Hope you guys enjoy! Thanks for reviewing the last chapter! Again, you are all awesome. So. Here`s what happens next. Happy reading.

I awoke the day of the battle filled with an undefined sense of dread. Was it women`s intuition telling me that Jacob was in danger? Of course he was in danger! They all were! But still...as much as I had faith in Jacob...as much as I was confident in his fighting abilities...I couldn`t shake the feeling that something bad was going down...right now...

Ever since our last night together I had been picking up on more of his emotions. Whenever his mood changed, I felt it. It wasn`t as though mine changed as well, I could just feel his too. Right now I was getting flashes of annoyance. What was going on?

Last night Brady told us that the fortune teller vampire that kinda looks like Pat Benatar said that the battle will take place at dusk more or less. So...today...what time was dusk exactly? When it started to get dark no? Oh God... Why was Jacob freaking out? I stepped out the back door and breathed in the cold morning air. Not caring if I froze or got wet in my nightdress I looked out over the woods and at the tree covered mountains. Jacob was somewhere up there. With Bella. The thought didn`t fill me with my usual jealously. Jacob was mine now. It was undeniable...it was the truth.

"Be safe Jacob...keep calm..." I whispered into the air. Feeling a dull pounding begin behind my eyes I turned and went back inside. I hadn`t seen Jacob in over twenty four hours...and it was beginning to get painful. It seemed that the longer we were away from each other the more the other`s feelings became more apparent. Well for me anyway. I would ask him what he felt when he got back.

From behind me I heard a soft whining. Turning around I saw Collin. His dark grey fur was unmistakable. He was standing between two trees and just looking over at me. What was he doing here?

Slipping on my moms gum boots by the back door I ran over to him. Skidding on the mud a little I came to a halt.

"What is it Collin? Is everything ok?" I asked nervously. He nodded his big wolf head and went on staring.

"Why are you here? Change back and tell me." I begged. What if something was the matter? He shook his head this time.

"Please..." I begged again, gently placing my hand over his head and rubbing his soft fur. He backed away and stood behind a tree. Morphing back into human form he hid behind the tree and said.

"Jacob sent me...he wanted to see you...to hear your voice for a minute." Collin sounded a bit put out and sulky.

"Oh..thanks Collin. You don`t know how much I appreciate that you came here...I`ll make it up to you."

"How?"

"Whatever you want." I said.

"Cool. I`ll hold you to that...Listen I really need to change back."

"Sure...sure...yeah..."

"Jacob loves you. He`s been thinking it all the time." He sounded grossed out. Well, he is thirteen after all.

"Thanks for telling me."

Collin changed back into wolf form and stood in front of me again. Jacob could see me...he could hear me...

"Stay strong Jacob." I said, feeling a bit weird. "And...I love you." Happiness flowed through my being...sounds like he heard it. I smiled a little.

"I`ll see you later." I added, and Collin nodded his head. "Thanks Collin." I patted his head and he wagged his tail before wincing and backing off. I got it. He needed to go.

"Bye Collin. Thanks again." I called after his retreating wolf form. Just a couple of more hours. Just a couple more... Then he`ll be home safe. Then we can sort out our relationship.

Before heading back inside I took one last look at the mountains. Somewhere up there he`s thinking about me. All I could do was wait.

Going into my bedroom I fished out the photo of the two of us that I swiped from his bedroom. There we were, two teenagers, bound for life and smiling at the camera. I was wearing a purple top I had forgotten I owned and Jacob was shirtless.

I remembered that day...it was the day that I realized how much in love I was with the dipshit.

It was the end of November. Just a normal day. Jacob and I went over to Emily`s after school. We were just there hanging out, doing homework when Jacob just gave me this look. A look that shook me. It hadn`t been more than a couple of seconds but...I knew then that whatever we had going on...whatever mockery of a friendship was never going to be enough for me. Then he went back to doing my maths homework for me, like nothing had happened. I remember that perfectly now. I got pissed later on because he left to see Bella not long after. Emily had noticed, so had Kim and even Claire. If they did then why hadn`t Jacob? I had thought. Two weeks later I had lost my virginity to him.

I placed the photo back on my night stand and stretched out. We can`t keep on playing these stupid games with each other. We had to start being honest. I knew I had my faults. I had a lot of them. Being a person that was so afraid of rejection I shut myself off emotionally and acted the bitch at any sign of something difficult. Looking back now I could see the signs of Jacob falling for me, of him reaching out to me and me pushing him away. I just hadn`t understood. Having those feelings for him, being in love with him, and then being so convinced that he wasn`t in love with me had made me crazy and jealous. Wanting him so bad had made me blind to the fact that we just weren`t ready. Wanting too much too soon had ruined it. Jacob could have told me the truth but he was just too fucked up to even know what the truth was. He could never hurt me intentionally. He was the perpetual good guy, he didn`t have the capacity for being malicious. In truth, I had expected him to hurt me because I saw it coming all along. It was as if I was confirming to myself my own feelings of inadequacy. Jacob had hurt me so much because I had let him, because I didn`t really understand him. I was so jealous of his love and need to protect Bella that I used it as a reason to blame him for everything that had went wrong. I just wanted him to love me and I didn`t really understand what love was or that he already did. But I understood now...and now we were going to take things slow.

At about three my mom drove us to the Blacks place. Being constantly bombarded with Jacob`s shifting moods I was jumpy and snappy. Crap! Couldn`t he just choose one and go with it? He seemed to be getting increasingly angry over something and it got to such a point that I was blinded by a hot white rage that made me almost want to jump out of my skin and kill something. I screamed and crouched over with pain.

"Fucking Christ! What`s the matter?" My mom pulled over and tried to hold me but I pushed her away roughly. "Sonia!" She sounded petrified. I felt fucking petrified. Oh Jesus...what in the name of all that is holy was that! Crap! I could still feel it!

"Mom..." I gasped, reaching out for her hand.

"What happened?" She asked again.

"Something...Jacob...he`s angry..." I wiped the sweat from my forehead and breathed in deep. He was so so angry...angry doesn`t even cover what I felt.

"How the hell do you know that?"

"I can feel it...I know it...he must have found out." That would be the only explanation. He would be up on the mountain still, with Bella and Edward. The shit must have hit the fan.

"Found out about what?" She questioned, not knowing what the hell I was talking about.

"I told you before that I thought that Bella was using Jacob for sex...well...I sorta figured out that she...she never broke up with her leech...that for whatever reason they want her to have sex with someone..."

"What on earth? Sonia...you told Jacob this right?"

"No." I whispered.

"Why not! For fucks sake! If he knew that someone was trying to pull one over on you then..."

"I know mom! He would tell me! But...when I understood...it seemed like it was too late! All this bullshit started!" I defended myself. Mom just shook her head.

"And now? Look what happened!" Her tone was cutting.

"I thought that if he found out before the fight then everything would get fucked up! That he would get hurt!"

"He would have known! He would have gotten his head around it and done what needed to be done! Finding out just before...that`s a million times worse!" She almost screamed which made me cry with shame. "Stop it Sonia. Not now! When this is over you are telling Jacob what you know. He`s a jackass but he isn`t bad."

"I wasn`t doing it to punish him!" I whined, wanting comfort from her. She sat up straight and started the engine back up. Looks like I won`t be getting a kind word from her anytime soon.

"Just...you can`t do anything about it now." She sounded worried and annoyed.

"If he gets hurt then it`s my fault." I sobbed.

"You weren`t the one who made him angry Sonia. If it`s anyones fault than it`s that girls. You should have told him. He isn`t hurt! So stop crying like he`s dying or something, he`s tough. He`ll come out of it without a scratch I can tell you that much." She stated. I wanted so bad to believe her but...

The quiet and the general stillness of the Blacks house made it seem that there was no mystical battle between good and bad going on between vampires and wolves out in the Olympic Peninsula. All attempts at conversation were abandoned after a couple of minutes between the imprints. We just stood around, too nervous to sit, and stared out of the windows looking for any sign of the men we hold so dear in our hearts. Every so often I wondered if they felt it too...their guys feelings. They must...Kim had such a Jared type look of concentration on her face, Emily looked oddly forceful and Rachel was scowling.

After the initial outburst of rage it simmered down into a black depression. Jacob was hurt...not physically...but emotionally. All because of her. That wimp hiding out on a mountain, useful for nothing but fucking up peoples lives.

What was happening? It killed not knowing. A fucking army of bloodthirsty vampires coming for just one girl? How the fuck was that...

"ARRRGGGGHHHHHH"

Collapsing into a heap on the floor I withered in pain. Oh noooooooo...no no no no no.

"Sonia!" I dimly heard several voices call out. "What happened?"What`s wrong with her?" It felt like the entire left side of my body had been crushed by something.

"Jacob...it`s Jacob..." With most effort I have ever put into anything in my life, I picked myself up and stood shakily. The pain... oh God. Jacob!

"What do you mean Sonia?" Mr. Black asked me, his face ashen.

"He`s been hurt...I felt it...somethings happened to him.." I knew it... I knew it before it even happened... It`s all my fault... He`s hurt because of me..

"You can`t know that!" Mr. Black argued, sounding frightened a little.

"She can!" Emily said. "Now...being away from them, we can feel their emotions and them ours."

"It`s true. Jared is worried now." Kim said quietly.

"Paul is terrified." Rachel pipped in, looking pale.

"If it`s true then..." Mr. Black whispered before trailing off. In the distance we could hear wolves howling...so many...so pained...so angry...

"Where`s Collin and Brady?" Sue snapped. "We will know from them!"

"Oh please...please..." Oh Jacob... you big stupid idiot getting yourself hurt...I burst out crying. Rachel took me into her arms and stroked my hair.

"He`ll be okay. He`s a Black. He knows how to survive. He`ll come back to you don`t worry."

"It`s all my fault...if he dies..." I was gripped my another crushing pain to my side but this time I held strong. He won`t die! He can`t! I won`t let him! Be strong Sonia...he needs your strength. He needs you.

"If he`s hurt then he`ll heal fast." Rachel said.

"He`ll get through this." Emily confirmed.

"He`s the strongest wolf. He`ll be good as new in no time." Kim pipped in.

"How long will it take for them to get back here?" My mom asked, taking my hand.

"About half an hour...but that`s running in wolf form."

"So...over an hour." Kim calculated. "There`s Brady!" She yelled.

Everybody ran to the back door and bundled outside. He shifted to human which made my mom squeak in amazement. Hastily he pulled on his cut offs.

"Jake`s been hurt. A new born got his arms around him and crushed his side..."He sounded out of breath and scared. The horror grew inside of me.

"The leech doctor is taking a look at him but Jake won`t shift back..."

"Why not?" Mr. Black barked angrily which made Brady flinch.

"The shock...the pain...plus his bones are setting too fast..." I couldn`t really decipher the deeper meaning of those words but Sue looked grim.

"The guys are carrying him back now...they will be here soon, with the doctor."

"Shift back and report if anything else happens." Mr. Black commanded. Brady nodded and looked at me. "He`s thinking about you..." He said to me only.

"Tell him I am too, tell him I`m waiting here for him." I hugged Brady, he was a sweet kid. "Tell them to hurry."

"I will." He phased back, forgetting his shorts, and ran back into the woods.

"So Dr. Cullen is coming here..." Mr. Black said.

"Seems so..." Sue said back to him.

Sorry to leave it there but I do need to work and do things. Next part will be up on Friday. Remember to review. It makes the story better in so many ways cause I listen to all you have to say. Besos.