I stand under the trickle spitting from the showerhead in the birthing suite, letting the hot water wash over me. I don't remember such poor pressure when I took the quick shower after my water broke but it's probably because all I could focus on was the excruciating contractions. I don't mind though. I've been sitting in my own filth for the last three days and just getting to run the hot water over my body feels good. I have my cesarean incision covered so it won't get wet so I linger under the weak spray.

"Tobias?" I call out, knowing he isn't very far.

"Yeah, love?" he says.

"I need help." I think at one time I actually had some modesty around him. Not anymore. Because of my incision, I can barely move and bending is damn near impossible so over the past three days, he's given me sponge baths, dressed me, helped me on and off the stool, and gone as far as to wipe me. I tried to do it myself but was convinced that my guts were about to spill across the faded linoleum floor if I reached any further. Thank God that only happened a couple times. But now I need him to wash me. I flip off the water, and he opens the door. A cool breeze follows him in, and he tries to be quick. He lathers up a rough washcloth and washes my back then bends down and washes both my legs up to my thighs. He washes my most intimate areas then stands back up. "Thank you."

"That's what I'm here for," he says. He kisses my temple then steps out of the shower and closes the door. I turn the water back on then thoroughly rinse all the soap off then quickly wash and condition my hair.

"I'm ready," I say as I turn the water off for good this time. He opens the stall door and helps me step out into the chilly bathroom. He picks up an oversized towel off the shelf above the toilet and dries my hair then every inch of my body right down to my toes.

"Christina sent some panties you are going to hate," he says as he gets to his feet. Today, I get to put on real clothes since they are allowing me to go home.

"It isn't a thong, is it?" I ask, mortified at the thought.

"Just the opposite," he says as he pulls a pair of white satin briefs out of the bag he leaned up against the sink. I laugh then grab my tummy. "I've got to stop making you laugh, love. She told me to tell you they won't rub against your incision like your normal panties would." He kneels down in front of me and holds the very unsexy, practical lingerie out in front of me. Maybe this is a good idea. Zero temptation. I put my hand on his shoulder to steady myself then first lift one leg, then the other. When I'm back on two feet, he pulls them up into place. They remind me of Abnegation standard issue underwear. No frills, all function. He hands me the matching nursing bra, and after I slide it into place, he fastens it for me. "She tried to send something new but I thought you would want comfort above style." He's definitely right. He holds out a pair of old sweatpants in front of me and helps me into them. They are so loose that nothing hits my incision. He lastly pulls out a nursing tank top/sweater combo for me to put on. "I'll help with your shoes and socks when I get you back in bed." I quickly comb through my damp hair then let him lead me back into the other room.

"Do we know when they are going to discharge Peanut and me?" I ask as he pulls socks onto my cold feet. I don't think they've regained their feeling since I was in the icy operating room.

"Isobel said that she would be in later, although how much later she didn't say," he says. He picks up Peanut who is fussing in the baby bed and brings her to me. She eats every two hours. I think we could set our clocks by her.

"Come here, Peanut," I say. Even though it still takes a little work to get her latched on correctly, she is nursing well. Apparently, some preemies have feeding tubes, and I wouldn't want that for her. We're extremely fortunate that for as early as she graced us with her presence, she has had zero complications. After she was here safe and sound in my arms, Isobel finally told me what the risks were. I shuddered and kissed her little head and whispered how much I loved her during that conversation. She will never doubt my feelings.

"Are you ready to get home?" Tobias asks as we watch Teagan nurse. I convinced him to sit with us while we wait to go home, although it didn't take much. He's barely left my side since she was born.

"More than ready," I say. "It will be nice to sleep in my own bed, take a shower that doesn't feel like a gentle rain, and establish some sort of routine with the kids." I gaze out the window and wonder how Tyler and Tessa are doing. They stayed with us the first night just like I wanted but it didn't work out very well with us all in one room. Teagan's cries woke up Tessa and their combined crying annoyed Tyler until he was a whiny mess. So they've been with my mom and dad the past two nights. Mom brought them for a few hours each day to visit, which I appreciate. I miss them terribly.

I'm still overwhelmed at the realization that I have three kids, two of whom are not even five months apart but I try not to overthink anything. I did voice my concerns to Isobel about nursing both girls, and she told me about tandem feedings. I didn't know you could feed two babies at the same time. She told me that she did it with her twins, and it made her life a lot easier. I haven't tried it yet since Tessa hasn't needed nursed while she was with me the past couple days. I imagine Tobias told my mom to make sure she had a bottle before coming to the hospital so that I wouldn't freak out like I did Sunday night. I'm embarrassed by my actions but Isobel told me that feelings like that are perfectly normal. She also told me not to hide anything. It's best to deal with how I'm feeling head on. She told me I could call anytime even if it's just to say hi. I know I'll take her up on the offer and probably often.

"What are you thinking about, love?" Tobias asks, bringing me back to the present.

"How we're going to do this? I can tell Tyler's feeling left out. Tessa hates her sister and she hates me."

"She does not hate you," he says as he rolls his eyes. We've had this particular conversation before. Tessa cries, I mean huge crocodile tears roll down her chubby cheeks from the time I put Teagan to my breast until she finishes. No one can calm her. We thought it was a coincidence the first time it happened but she does it every time I feed her sister. And when she looks at me, her sparkle is gone, and all she does is frown. Everyone tells me I'm imagining it but I don't see how that's possible. "Our little one loves you with all her heart. Just give her time." I imagine a similar conversation in the future when she's a teenager and I'm wailing that she doesn't love me anymore. I shake my head to clear it.

"I never asked how the fear landscapes went," I say, changing the subject.

"Zeke and Lauren helped Tori and Will monitor the landscapes while Uriah and Christina administered them. There were no surprises, at least I wasn't told about any. It's no mistake that Avery ranked number one. She was far and away the most gifted initiate we had this year, closely followed by Brody. She chose to be a computer programmer."

"I didn't know that she was interested in computers," I say. "How did the other initiates fair?"

"I can't remember all their rankings but Brody chose to work in the control room." This makes me smile. He said he was going to leave Dauntless after initiation was over but something or someone must have changed his mind. "Ana chose to be a computer programmer, too, Afton chose to be a nurse, and Callen and Declan both chose the control room also."

"I think Brody, Callen, and Declan will all be fine additions to Zeke's staff," I say.

"They are," he says. "I know they weren't supposed to start until next week but we needed the help immediately."

"Have they found anything new?" I ask. I have a feeling he's keeping something from me but I don't have a clue as to what it could be. He keeps telling me that my job is to take care of Peanut right now and not to worry about Dauntless but it's hard with two unsolved murders, an ex-initiate breaking into the compound for God knows what, and an unknown subject having access to our apartment.

"Not that I know of," he says.

"Not that you're willing to share with me," I mutter under my breath. He sighs then puts his finger on my chin and lifts it until our eyes meet.

"If something important is found, I'll tell you," he says. "I won't hide anything that could put you or our family in danger or lead to a significant break but I don't think it's necessary to update you on every little insignificant detail that is found right now. You just had a baby three days ago in case you forgot. You need rest. You don't need to be stressing over work." He's right and part of me hates that he is.

"I didn't forget," I say, looking down and caressing Peanut's head as she nurses then returning my eyes to his. "But I don't like being kept in the dark, Tobias. We're better as a team. We both know it. I might be able to help if I knew what was going on at all times." He takes a deep breath then blows it out.

"You're stubborn," he says as he snakes his arm around my shoulder. I very carefully move until I'm leaning up against him.

"You love me and you know it, stubbornness and all."

"Yeah, I do. Very much," he says then he sighs. "We've seen Molly and Drew on tape around the city multiple times with … Olivia."

"The bitch?" I holler making the baby jump and she starts crying. "Sshh. I didn't mean to scare you, Peanut. Mommy's so sorry." I gently sway and bounce her a bit until she calms down then decide it's time to burp her anyway. "Why would those three be together? Do they know each other from Candor?"

"We honestly have no idea," he says. "I had Will call Jack Kang and inquire about a possible familial connection that wasn't as evident as Molly, Drew, and Peter's. He assured Will that there was none. He couldn't say for sure if they knew each other as dependents though but he thought they ran in different circles."

"So that basically leaves one thing they have in common," I sigh. "Us." What are they up to?

"This is why I didn't want to say anything," he says.

"No secrets. Remember? You promised." He hangs his head.

"You're right, I made you that promise," he says. "But answer me something honestly, love. What do you get out of knowing that Olivia is hanging around with Molly and Drew besides worry and unneeded stress?" I sigh.

"I hate that you're right. All knowing does is make me anxious about whatever the hell they are up to, and I know they're planning something," I say.

"I guess we're both right," he says.

"What are we going to do about it?"

"I held the information about Olivia back because it doesn't help us get any closer to the truth about what Molly's up to," he says. "It only gives us that many more questions." He tightens his embrace on me, and I look up into his eyes. "Can you trust me to tell you what you need to know over the next few weeks, at least until you are back on your feet?" We stare at each other for a few moments. I know he's doing what he thinks is best for me.

"Okay," I nod, "but under one condition"

"Name it," he says.

"When I do get back on my feet, you give me a full accounting of what I missed then include me in meetings and decision making even though I'm on maternity leave. I need to feel like a valued member of Dauntless."

"You have yourself a deal," he says. "And by the way, you are a valued part of Dauntless leadership, every single day. You know that." He presses his lips against my temple and lingers a moment until Peanut starts fussing. "Oh, sorry, baby girl! Mommy got involved in her conversation. I didn't hear you burp."

"Sorry, love, I did," he says. "You know Tessa's going to give the boys a run for their money when she gets older but I think our little Peanut hear is going to be a princess."

"You think she's going to be a girly-girl?" I chuckle. I put her to my other breast, and she continues to nurse almost noiselessly. She really is the polar opposite of Tessa.

"I do," he says. There's a knock on the door and Mom, Dad, Tyler, and Tessa come in the room. Tobias grabs the receiving blanket off the bed, and I cover Peanut and me up but not before Tessa catches a peak and starts crying. Tyler looks up at her, groans, and frowns.

"Come here, little one," Tobias says as he gets up off the bed. He takes Tessa from my dad but she continues to wail at the top of her lungs so he excuses himself and takes her for a walk.

"This is really strange," Mom says, watching them walk out the door. "She hasn't cried once this morning. I didn't think a baby could be jealous but that seems to be the only explanation."

"How are you doing, Beatrice?" Dad asks as he lowers himself onto the couch. "Are you ready to go home?"

"More than ready," I say. "Thank you guys for watching the kids for us the past few days. Four and I had no idea that our date Sunday night would end with this one joining the family so soon." I peak under the blanket when she stop suckling. I try to wake her but she's out so I put her to my shoulder and burp her. This time I hear her. I fix my shirt and zip up my sweater and look at my parents who obviously both want to get their hands on their newest granddaughter. "Do you want to hold her, Dad?" He smiles and comes over and very carefully lifts her out of my arms. He coos at her, and it's the first time in a while that he really looks happy.

"Sit with you?" Tyler asks from right beside me.

"Sure, buddy," I say. "Just remember Mommy's owie though." Mom picks him up and very carefully sits him next to me then sits with Dad on the couch. Tyler sits stick straight and stone still. "Did you have fun with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"Gwampa not home," he says. Dad meets my eyes with an almost guilty expression, and I know something is terribly wrong with the state of my parent's marriage.

"If you two ever need to talk, I'm here for you," is all I say to them. Tobias is right, it's not really my business but I don't want to be blindsided one day with news of a separation or worse. "I heard that Grandma took you to the park yesterday. Did you have a good time?"

"We saw Zane," he says excitedly. "We played and played and played. It was fun. I love Zane."

"I know you do, buddy," I say. "Is he your best friend?"

"Yep." Tobias comes back in the room followed by Isobel who is holding some forms.

"Looks like someone gets to go home," she says. "We already went over your discharge instructions and after-cesarean care this morning but in this folder is a printed instruction list for easy reminder. Do you have any questions about them?" I shake my head no. "In the folder is also a reminder slip for your postpartum appointment that is scheduled for October 17 at 10:30 a.m. in the infirmary at Dauntless and what we will talk about including birth control." I raise my brows at her. Birth control is something I don't want to talk about in front of my parents. She mouths sorry then continues. "There's also a reminder for Teagan's 2-week wellness check on September 19 at 10:30 a.m. in the infirmary. Remember that you can call me any time if you need anything. I consider us good friends, Tris. Are you sure you don't have any questions?"

"None that I can think of," I say. "Four?"

"No," he says. "But I know we won't hesitate to call if we do."

"Well then, I need you both to sign and date here and here. She lays the paper on the tray table and pushes it within my reach. After Tobias and I sign and date where she indicated, then she announces that we're free to go. Tobias hands Tessa to my mom so he can help me out of bed and into the wheelchair Ms. Perky-Pants Nurse just pushed into the room. I seem to dislike her just a little but more each time I see her. Hopefully, this is the last time.

"Dad, would you like to carry Teagan out?" I ask and he nods. "Okay. Mom, will you give me Tessa?" She smiles and lies Tessa in my arms who immediately frowns at me. "Mommy loves you, little one. You need to stop being mad at me. You're making me sad." I kiss her cheek, and she lies her head on my shoulder. I cradle her close while Tobias pushes us to the elevator. "We'll be home soon, and we can snuggle on the couch with your daddy and brother. Unless you have to go to work, Four."

"I'm not going anywhere," he says. "You're stuck with me."

"I think I can handle that," I say with a wink. When we get on the elevator, the zing of electricity is back. I chuckle a bit and his hand lands on my shoulder.

"Thinking about the last time we were in here?" he ask with a chuckle of his own.

"Yeah, but at least I'm not trying to kick you out." We laugh lightly with each other. "I was having a contraction and not being very nice to him," I say when I see the curious look on my parents faces. Of course I won't tell them I was cussing his penis.

"I remember those times," Dad says. "Your mother told me I was no longer welcome in her hospital room and to kindly leave. Of course, that's not exactly how she put it though. There are too many innocent ears in here for me to repeat exactly what she said."

"Andrew!" she says with a blush.

"Remember that, Nat?" he asks. I've never heard him call her that before.

"Like it was yesterday," she says, smiling fondly at him. Maybe things aren't as bad as they seem. Maybe it's just a rough patch like Tobias said. It's obvious that they love each other very deeply. When the elevator opens, Tobias wheels me to the emergency room and parks me near the double doors. I hadn't noticed before that there's a light drizzle coming down.

"I'm going to go get the car," he says. "Would you like to come with me, buddy?" Tyler's eyes light up when his dad asks him to accompany him, and he eagerly nods his head up and down. Tobias turns and looks at me and says, "We'll be right back." He kisses my head then picks Tyler up, and I watch as they walk out the door. I look down at Tessa, and she's gazing up at me from my shoulder where her head is still laying.

"You sure are quiet, little one," I say. She raises her head and gives me a sleepy smile and tears come to my eyes. I kiss her head, and she lays it back down.

"I think she's forgiven you," Dad says.

"Until I have to feed Teagan again," I murmur. I rub her back and within a few seconds she's out like a light. "Mom, is there an extra blanket in the diaper bag?" Dad has one blanket ready to put over Peanut when we go outside but I need one for Tessa also. She digs through it and finds a fluffy pink blanket. She drapes it over Tessa and softly kisses her head.

"There you go," she says.

"I know you don't want to talk about it and it's probably none of my business but I'm worried about you," I quietly say out of earshot of my father. "He's not quite the same since his surgery, is he?"

"I know you worry, dear, and I love you for it but you're right, it's none of your business," she sternly says, which smarts a bit. I only want to know that they are okay.

"Just promise me that if you need help you'll ask for it," I say. "Four and I have been seeing a marriage counselor since what Marcus and Peter did. It helps. I would gladly give you her number." She lightly wraps her arms around me and gives me a hug.

"I love you, Beatrice. You have such a big heart," she says, releasing me. "You've grown into such a smart, beautiful young woman. When you joined Dauntless, I worried it would change you and it has … for the better." She leans over and presses her lips to Tessa's head then my forehead. "You have quite a family. A husband who absolutely adores you, a son who thinks the world of you, and two adorable daughters who love you so much already. I'm so happy for you. You need to be concentrating on them, not on your father and me."

"You're not going to get a divorce are you?" I ask. The thought brings unwanted tears to my eyes, and I quickly wipe them away.

"Your father and I are 100% committed to our marriage," she says.

"What are you two whispering about?" Dad asks as he comes back within earshot.

"I was just telling Beatrice how proud of her I am," Mom quickly says.

"We're both very proud of you," he says. "I thought you were making a terrible mistake being with Tobias. I'm glad I was wrong. He really dotes on you, doesn't he?"

"He keeps telling me it's his job," I say, a warm, sappy smile settling in on my face. "I don't know what I would do without him."

"You'll never have to find out," he says as he walks through the double doors with Tyler at his side carrying a car seat in each hand. He sits them on the bench behind me and carefully takes Tessa from me and buckles her into her seat without waking her. Then he takes Teagan from my dad and puts her in her seat, which makes her look even smaller than she is. "Can you stay with Grandma and Grandpa and the girls for a minute, buddy? I'm going to take Mommy to the car. I'll be right back."

"Okay," he says then Tobias pushes me out the door and to the car, which is just out of the wet weather under the canopy that juts out from the side of the building but the wind makes me shiver.

"It's definitely going to be an early, cold fall," Tobias says as he helps me into the front seat of the car. "I hope it's not wet, too. I'll be right back with the kids." He gives me a quick kiss then goes back into the hospital to get the kids. I lean my head back against the headrest and close my eyes. I breathe deeply trying to relax but the car isn't comfortable enough to let me fall asleep. When the back door opens, I jump then grab my stomach and moan. "Are you alright, love?"

"No," I groan. "I didn't know you were around."

"I'm sorry. I'm going to attach Tessa's car seat, get Tyler buckled in, then attach Peanut's so we can go." I hear him click a car seat into place then close the door. He walks around the front of the car carrying Teagan's seat, and after buckling Tyler into his car seat which is now in the center of the backseat, he clicks the other seat into place. He shakes Dad's hand then gives Mom a hug and a kiss on the cheek and gets into the car.

"Thanks again for watching the kids for us," I say when Mom and Dad come to my window. "We really appreciate it."

"It was my pleasure," Mom says. "I love spending time with them."

"You're welcome to stop by Dauntless and see them at any time," I say.

"I'm sure we'll take you up on the offer soon," Dad says.

"But not too soon," Mom says. "We know you need your rest. We'll let you get going. We know you're anxious to get home. We love you all."

"I love you, too, Mom, Dad," I say. "We'll talk soon." They back away from the car, and Tobias pulls away from the curb while I wave goodbye to my parents.

"Are you ready to get home, love?" Tobias asks.

"Definitely."