Tobias and I start home from the hospital in comfortable silence. Both girls were already fast asleep when he fastened their car seats into the backseat and within five minutes of taking off, Tyler was out like a light, too. I rest my head on the headrest and close my eyes and listen to the hum of the tires on the pavement. After a few minutes, I lift my eyelids and study Tobias. He must be thinking about something because he doesn't seem to notice my stare. I've never seen him so focused on the road but we do have a backseat filled with precious cargo. His posture is relaxed so whatever is on his mind must not be troubling.
"Can I help you with something?" he asks, not taking his eyes from the road.
"No," I say. "I'm just taking in the scenery." He slides his eyes to mine for an instant before returning them to the road.
"I think you're watching me."
"I think you are the best part of the scenery?" I say. This causes him to smile.
"Mrs. Eaton, are you flirting with me?" he asks.
"Would I do that?" He chuckles.
"I think you are," he says. I reach over and rest my hand on his thigh, and he covers it with his, lacing our fingers together. I sigh contentedly.
"Have I thanked you?" I ask.
"For what?" he asks, confused.
"For everything," I say. "The past three days, the past year. Those three kids in the back seat. You've done things for me that I never dreamed I would have to ask of another person." Heat colors my cheeks.
"I do those things because I love you," he says. "Hell, everything I do is because I love you and those three." I can't fight the yawn that moves through me. "You're exhausted, love."
"Yes, I am," I say, letting my eyes close again. "I think I'll lie down when we get home until Peanut needs me."
"Um." His tone makes me open my eyes.
"Is something wrong?" I ask.
"I didn't think you would be this tired," he says. "Once again, I didn't think."
"What are you talking about?" I ask.
"I have a surprise for you," he slowly says. Ugh. Sometimes I hate surprises.
"Please, please, please tell me it isn't an apartment full of people?"
"No, nothing like that," he says. I silently thank God and look at him expectantly. I'm definitely not ready for a whole bunch of company. "I take it you want to know what the surprise is."
"Yes, please."
"Well, our new apartment is ready and completely set up," he says. "I had maintenance working on it around the clock. They moved everything except for our clothes. Christina helped with that. Gunner finished with the mural in the nursery, and I told him that we would wait on the playroom's for right now until things calm down a bit. I hope you don't mind. I wanted us to bring Teagan home to our new home."
"That's amazingly sweet of you," I say, getting choked up. I thought the hormones would balance out once I had the baby but so far they haven't. "I love the surprise. Thank you. I'm sorry I spoiled it. I can't wait to look around the apartment before I lie down."
"I love you, Tris."
"I know," I say, secure in the knowledge that he will love me and only me forever. "I love you, Tobias."
"I know," he says as we pull up in front of the compound. He turns around and looks in the backseat. I see his eyes glide from one child to the next, a look of love on his face, which quickly turns to concern. I reach out and lightly touch his cheek, and he looks my way.
"Something wrong?" I ask.
"Just trying to figure out how to get three sleeping kids into the house," he says.
"There's really no other way, you need to wake Tyler up," I say, hating myself for saying it. "He'll wake up when he sees his new room anyway."
"Do you think he'll like it?" he asks.
"No. I'm sure he'll love it," I say. He leans across the space separating us and gently presses his lips to mine. I reach up and run my fingers across his cheek and into his hair as he kisses me. He soon groans and pulls away, leaving us both breathless. It's going to be a long six weeks.
"Let me help you out of the car, love, then I'll get the kids," he says. He practically lifts me singlehandedly out of my seat and sits me on my feet. I stand on the curb waiting for him to get the kids out of the backseat, which doesn't take him any time at all. Tyler stumbles up to me, rubbing his eyes.
"Did you have a nice nap?" I ask, running my hand through his hair.
"I still sleepy," he mumbles around a yawn.
"We know, buddy, but there just isn't anyone to carry you at the moment," I say. "You need to be our big boy and help Mommy and Daddy out, okay?"
"Otay," he says.
"Can you give me your hand?" I ask. "Mommy needs help getting up the stairs." His sleepy smile brightens and a look of determination crosses his handsome little face. He looks so much like Tobias.
"That's a good boy," Tobias says as he walks up to us carrying a car set in each hand. "I'll get the rest of our things a little later." A passing Dauntless member sees us struggling and after offering his congratulations, first opens the door to the compound and then the door that leads to our apartment for us. We thank him then I very carefully make the journey up the stairs. I imagine I will be spending a lot of time upstairs in our new apartment. Stairs right now are unpleasant. Tyler tightly holds my hand and encourages me with each step I take, making sure I safely get to the top. I would love nothing more than to drag him into my arms and hug him tightly to me then pepper his face with kisses. He's such a good boy. When we reach the landing, Tyler lets go of my hand and runs to our old door and tries to open it for us. Tobias and I look at each other. I'm sure the pride on his face is being reflected back at him from mine. He sits the carriers down by our new apartment door and fishes the key out of his pocket.
"We have a surprise for you, buddy," I say and he stops struggling with the doorknob and turns around. He's obviously confused for a moment but then realization sets in, and a sunny smile breaks out on his face.
"My woom?" he excitedly asks.
"Daddy thought it would be a nice surprise for us to bring Teagan home to our new apartment. Does that make you happy?" He runs towards us and launches himself into Tobias' arms. It surprises him for a split second but then he's doing what I was just wishing I could do mere second ago, holding our son and hugging him tightly. Tyler gives him a kiss then whispers something in his ear. Tobias nods and moves closer to me. Tyler leans over and gives me hugs and kisses then struggles to get down. He's nearly bouncing off the walls with excitement.
Tobias opens the door, and I cross into the sizeable foyer. The built-in mudroom shelving has been painted a nice soft white instead of the sterile eye numbing bright white that it was. I like this much better. There are several wicker baskets on the shelf above the hooks to keep clutter out of sight. The walls are painted the same blue color of our old apartment, and I instantly feel at home. When I look at the French doors that separate this space from the living room, they look different to me.
"I took the liberty of having new doors installed. The other ones didn't close properly," he says noticing my confused look. "The other opened up into the space. These are sliding French doors. They take up less space." I notice the difference now. There used to be a set of solid panel double doors in the center of the wall and now the entire wall consists of a set of large sliding glass doors flanked by windows on either side. I absolutely love them. It lets much-needed natural light into this space. I reach out and slide the door in front of me to the right, and it recesses in front of the window. I thought it would be heavy to move but it's actually very light. I imagine we'll always keep these doors open to invite guests into our home.
We pass from the foyer into the living room, and we all silently take in the space. The light wood wide-plank hand-scraped hardwood floors have all been sanded and stained a darker color. Although I loved the light color, this complements the space and the furniture so much better. The wall of windows have had remote controlled shades installed to keep the glare of the sun out during daylight hours. This is a welcome addition. I would have loved this in the old apartment. The cabinetry that dominates the entire wall to my left has been painted the same soft white that all woodwork throughout the entire apartment has except for the fireplace mantle. It is the same color as the floor. The brick fireplace has also been refaced with a classic marble tile. The shelves are lined with books, movies, and photos of our family. My Ferris wheel ornament takes a prominent place on one of the shelves as does the chasm sculpture. It isn't crowded. As a matter of fact, there is plenty of room for more memories in the future. One picture catches my attention, and I move closer to study it. I don't remember it being taken. I'm lying in the hospital bed with Teagan in my arms. The look on my face is indescribable but it is definitely one of true love.
"When did you take this, Tobias?" I ask, emotion thick in my voice. The frame is flanked by a picture of Tyler and Tessa and one of me and Tobias at our wedding.
"The day she was born," he says. "That's just after I introduced you to our daughter."
"I love it," I say. "Thank you. The furniture looks fantastic in here." Even though it is the same living room set that was in our old apartment, it looks totally different in the space. I think it's because we have a new rug in lighter gray tones that complements the tile on the fireplace. The only new addition is a gray decorative coffee table in front of the couch.
"I think it's great, too," Tobias says. "Look at this, Tyler." He lifts the lid on the coffee table revealing that it's actually a huge toy box. His eyes get wide, and he smiles even brighter, which I didn't think was possible.
"Wow!" is all he says.
"We better keep this tour going," Tobias says picking the girls' seats up and heading around the corner into the kitchen. The far wall catches my attention. Above a soft white credenza with a gray stained wood top is Tobias' chasm picture. It's absolutely perfect right there. When I focus on the kitchen, I'm shocked by what I see. It's totally different. "Do you like it, love?" The cabinets have been painted soft white and the 1 inch tile backslash has been replaced with the same tile on the fireplace in a brick pattern. The black quartz countertop has been replaced with a soft gray one, and the stainless steel sink has been replaced by a large porcelain, what I think is called, farm sink. "You hate it. I'll change it back."
"You will do no such a thing," I say as I walk around the island, taking everything in. I thought I would be exhausted but seeing our new home decked out the way it is has given me a second wind. I'll sleep later. "It's perfect. But why?"
"There was some water damage," he says, "and the old materials were obsolete, so I asked Gunner his opinion. He helped a lot. He's a saint."
"I love everything. Oh, look at our table. It looks better in here than I thought it would." On the other side of the half wall in the dining room is our large farm table which is almost the color of the floor surrounded by upholstered dining room chairs in a medium gray color. On the floor is a dark gray rug that defines the space. It's both rustic and traditional. I can't wait for our first meal as a family at that table.
We walk into the sunroom and are pleasantly surprised by the simplistic warmth of the space. We bought two love seats that match our living room furniture to make sure we didn't overcrowd the room. I walk over to the bookshelf and study the pictures. There is another wedding picture, the one where Tobias is kissing my temple while I have a blissful smile on my face. There's a picture of me holding Tessa just after we brought her home with Tyler leaning up against me, gazing lovingly at his baby sister. There's Mom and Dad and Caleb and Cara at the wedding. There's a picture of me and Christina. I didn't realize tears had started to fall until Tobias gently wipes them away.
"Let's go upstairs," he says. He once again picks up the girls, and we head toward the stairs. They too have been stained the same darker color. When I look up, I gasp. On the wall is a portrait from our wedding of Tobias and me forehead to forehead getting ready to kiss that I've never seen before. We're in silhouette with the brilliant sunset behind us.
"Where did this come from?" I ask, making my feet carry me up the stairs to the first landing. I notice a card, and I take it down and open it. "My house warming gift to you. Gunner."
"This is amazing," he says, studying the piece. "What an awesome picture. I don't remember seeing it before."
"Neither do I," I say.
"Can I see my woom?" Tyler asks, starting to get impatient.
"In a bit. We're going to see Mommy and Daddy's room first," Tobias says. "That's where your sisters will sleep, and I can put them down for their naps instead of carrying them around."
"I help," Tyler says.
"I think you're too little to help but thank you for offering," Tobias says. "That's very nice of you." He beams at his father's praise. Tobias continues up the stairs, and I slowly follow him. He prompts Tyler to open our bedroom door, which he does then he marches into the room. Tobias and I follow him over the threshold. The room is warm, inviting, and romantic. After picking out the new bedroom furniture, we decided on a different color scheme. The floor, just like the entire second floor, has been stained the same darker color as the first floor, and the walls have been painted a soft taupe color that complements the tone of the floor and the furniture.
"I love this bed," I say as I run my hand over the cream-colored quilt on the romantic canopy bed. It's not too feminine but not too masculine either. It really is the perfect blending of our styles. I scan the room and find that I really like the placement of the remaining furniture: two bedside tables, a wooden cradle bassinet, a dresser, a lingerie/jewelry chest, and a wardrobe. It isn't too crowded, it's cozy.
"Ready to see the nursery, love?" Tobias asks.
"Ready to put the girls down?" I chuckle.
"Actually, I am," he says. We walk into the nursery and tears flood my eyes. It's just as I imagined it. On the back wall of the room is a tree painted in white on a soft gray wall. On the limbs lined with pastel pink, blue, green, and yellow patchwork leaves are the cutest little owls I've ever seen including one on a swing. Flying around the tree are little birdies but what I find the cutest are the owls that look like they are perched on the edge of the cribs, which are on either side of the tree.
"This turned out better than I imagined," I say. Tobias gets Tessa out of her car seat and gently lays her in the middle of her crib then gets Teagan out of her carrier and carefully puts her in hers. I pick up the monitor, and we head toward Tyler's rooms.
"Are you ready, buddy?" Tobias asks.
"Yeah!" he excitedly says and there's no mistaking his excitement for anything else. He's been patiently waiting for this for a while. Tobias pushes opens the door, and we all walk in. I quickly scan the room, pleased by what I see then watch Tyler as he takes it all in. His eyes widen until I think they're going to bug out of his head. On the wall to my right is the "No Girls Allowed" sign we bought all those weeks back that gave me the idea for his room. Along the back wall, stretching from the baseboards up and onto the ceiling is a very realistic-looking tree. Gunner is amazing. Resting on a wide, huge "branch" is a treehouse that makes up Tyler's bed that has a secret clubhouse loft above a trundle bed so he can have Zane spend the night. Stretching from the treehouse to a play area on the opposite wall complete with a slide and indoor swing is a swinging rope bridge. "This mine?" My eyes meet Tobias'.
"Yes, buddy," he says. "This is all yours. Mommy knows how much you love the park so she made the outside come in for you. Do you like it?" His bottom lip starts quivering as he's overcome with emotion. Tobias helps me sit down in his rocking chair, which I'm so thankful for. I've been on my feet far too long.
"Come here, baby," I say. Tyler walks into my arms, and I hold him the best I can, trying to ignore my discomfort. "Why are you so sad?"
"I not sad," he says. "I happy."
"We're glad you're happy."
"Tobias," I say, "I think Tessa is awake." I point at the monitor I sat down on Tyler's desk that is situated on the wall in front of his bed.
"I'll go get her," he says.
"So you like your room?" I ask.
"Yeah!" he says finally releasing me. I lean back in the chair and try to get comfortable. "I have a slide and a swing. And look at the bwidge. I love my woom. Thank you, Mommy. I love you."
"I'm glad you love your room," I say. "Don't forget that right through that door is your own bathroom. Mommy needs to go lie down on her bed. Is that okay?"
"Yeah. I help you." He reaches his hand out to me, and I manage to get out of the chair without hurting myself or him.
"Thank you very much," I say. "You were a big help." He holds my hand and leads me down the hallway to my bedroom. I look at the time and know that Peanut will want fed soon so instead of lying down, I recline on the mass of pillows. Tobias comes into the room holding Tessa who is all smiles right now.
"I thought I heard you," he says. He sits Tessa on the bed next to me and she smiles at me. "I'll get Peanut. She's starting to fuss."
"Hi, little one. Are you going to let me feed your sister without bawling today?" I ask. Since she grinned at me, I'm hoping that means she will but I'm not going to hold my breath. She shoves her hand in her mouth and starts chewing on it. "Are you hungry?"
"This one is," Tobias says. "I'll give Tessa a bottle."
"No, I want to try something," I say. "If it doesn't work then you can give her a bottle. Tyler, why don't you go see how you like your room?"
"Otay," he says. "Bye, babies." He turns and runs out of the room.
"I love that boy," I say as I watch him disappear. "I need the nursing pillow, please." He gets it for me while I unzip my sweater. I take it off, trying to figure out how to do this. I really should have tried in the hospital with Isobel there to guide me. I decide to take off my tank top and my bra, too. "Can you hand me Tessa?" I situate the pillow while he puts Peanut in the new bassinet. He then picks up Tessa and lies her in my arms. After latching her on, I motion for him to bring me Peanut. He lies her in my other arm, her body lying on Tessa's. I'm just barely able to offer her my other breast but she, too, finally latches on. Is this going to work? They both contentedly nurse, I think unaware of the other one.
"How are they doing?" Tobias asks, a look of awe on his face. "You're doing it."
"It's odd," I say. "Tessa's an experienced eater and Teagan isn't. It feels strange having them nurse at the same time."
"You don't like it?" he asks.
"It's going to take some getting used to," I say. I relax into the pillows as I watch my girls. It really is an amazing sight. I study their faces for similarities and differences. When they are this close I can see it. Tessa looks like her dad and Teagan looks like me. When I first saw my Peanut I thought she looked like her father but maybe that was wishful thinking on my part. I never wanted to pass my gawky looks on to another human being but she's only beautiful. Maybe he's right … maybe I am beautiful. "Can you take Peanut?" Tobias carefully lifts her and pats her back to burp her while I do the same with Tessa. After she burps I have them switch places. It's a little easier the second time getting them in the correct position and latched on.
"My beautiful girls," Tobias says sitting on the bed beside me. He cups my cheek and gently caresses it with his thumb. "I wish there was more I could do so you wouldn't be so tired. I know you are exhausted."
"I'm also hungry," I say. "I imagine Tyler is, too."
"Does anything in particular sound good?" he asks. I know I need to eat healthy for my girls but I'm craving comfort food at the moment.
"Macaroni and cheese," I say, "and I'm sure Tyler would love it, too."
"I'll start it as soon as you finish with the girls," he says.
"Girls," I sigh. "I can't believe we have two girls, Tobias. I'm looking at her, and I still can't believe she's here."
"I know what you mean," he says. He reaches out and gently caresses both Tessa and Teagan's heads. "I didn't know I could be this happy, Tris. It's hard for me to even imagine what it was like before you and the kids came along."
"Don't think about those times, baby," I say. "Even though my first 16 years were nothing at all like yours, looking back I realize they were empty so from this point forward, I choose to no longer look back. We can't change the past. It's our pasts … the good, the bad, and the ugly … that make us who we are today."
"You are wise beyond your years," he says. Teagan is the first to stop nursing. Tobias takes her and after burping her, changes her diaper then puts her in the bassinet. After a few more minutes, Tessa loses interest and I burp her.
"I'm glad you didn't mind nursing at the same time as your sister," I tell Tessa. After giving her a few kisses, I hand her over to Tobias. He changes her diaper then stands over Teagan, staring at her.
"I'm not sure how to pick them both up," he says. "I'm sure it can be done but I don't have a clue as to how."
"You can leave Teagan with me."
"No. I want to give you an hour or so of uninterrupted rest," he says. "I'll be back." He goes out into the hallway and disappears. I'm getting out of bed to use the bathroom when he comes back a couple minutes later. "Do you need help?"
"No, I think I've got this now," I say.
"I'm taking the kids downstairs so you can sleep," he says as I lie back down on the bed. He rearranged the pillows and pulled back the quilt while I was gone. When I get settled in, he pulls the covers up around my shoulders and kisses my head. I just can't keep my eyes open.
My dreams are plagued with disturbing images but the minute I wake up, they all fade into forgetfulness. I will my hammering heart to slow, and it takes a while. I try to remember my dream but there is absolutely nothing there. I slowly roll out of bed holding onto my stomach then get to my feet. I pick my sweater up off the foot of the bed and slip it on and wrap my arms around myself trying to get me warm. I go to the dresser and get out a pair of thick wool socks. When I get to the top of the stairs, I contemplate if this is a good idea. I very carefully take each step until I'm standing below our wedding picture. I decide to study it as I rest. It's a simple pose full of love and new beginnings. I remember Tobias kissing me just after this portrait was snapped. I lift my fingers to my lips. It's almost like I can feel his mouth moving with mine.
"Tobias?" I call out as I take another step. Before my foot lands on the next tread, he is before me.
"What are you doing out of bed?" he asks as he helps me down the remaining steps.
"Bad dreams."
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.
"I don't remember," I say. "I just know I woke up with my heart racing. Hey, will you put these on me? My feet are freezing." I hand him the socks as we walk into the living room. Cars is playing on the TV, and I'm not sure if Tyler knows I'm around or not. Tobias helps me sit in the club chair then sits on the ottoman and puts the socks on my feet after rubbing them between his warm hands for a moment. "Thank you. Is supper close to being ready? Pea … I'm starving." A chuckle escapes my lips, and he gives me a quizzical look. "For months I've blamed getting hungry on Peanut. I don't have that excuse anymore. Where is my little Peanut anyway?"
"In her bassinet," he says. I look around and finally see the bassinet in the corner by the credenza out of everyone's way.
"I see her and where's our little one?"
"So Tessa is ours but Teagan is yours?" Tobias says with a mischievous smile.
"They're both ours. All three of them actually," I say. We both look at Tyler but he's oblivious. "So where's Tessa?" I suddenly see the top of her head poke up above the toy box but I can't see her eyes. "There she is." Tobias picks her up and carefully puts her in my arms.
"I sat her up but she kept falling over so I finally left her on her tummy," he says as he sits down on the end of the couch close to me. "Supper still has about half-an-hour."
"I've read about older children regressing slightly when an infant is brought home but I refuse to believe that to be true of Tessa. She must just be having an off day but then again, she is our super baby." I cuddle her and she lets me. I imagine she's getting tired but she doesn't close her eyes. She just watches me carefully. "Have you been feeling left out? I never want that to happen, little one. I promise to try my best to feed both you and your sister as much as I can now that I know I can do it. Sometimes Mommy and Daddy forget that you are just a little baby, too, because you've been growing into such a big girl." She smiles at me then starts babbling. "Is that right, little one?"
Tobias gets up and goes to the kitchen when the timer goes off indicating the macaroni and cheese is done. After discussing it, we decide to postpone our first family supper at the dinner table until I'm feeling better. We let Tyler kneel behind the coffee table toy box and eat his mac and cheese while I stay in the club chair and Tobias eats on the couch. Tessa sits on the floor chewing on her purple butterfly with her eyes on me.
"You're too little for a bite," I say as her stare intensifies. When I finish, I have Tobias give me Peanut who started fussing before I finished my meal. I look at the clock and know that she's hungry again. She may be little but she has a big appetite. At this rate, she'll be the same size as Tessa in no time. Tobias picks up Tessa and plays with her while I feed Peanut. He keeps her back to me so she won't cry. After her final burp, Tobias puts Tessa in my arms. "This is Teagan. She's your sister." Tessa stares intently at the little pink bundle lying contentedly in my arm. I get nervous when she reaches over and touches her face but she swipes her hand back when Peanut moves. I kiss her head and she lays her head against my chest and stares at her baby sister.
"That's quite a sight," Tobias says. "You're very content right now, aren't you love?"
"I wondered what our first day home would be like," I say, first looking at Tyler and then Tessa and Teagan. "I didn't know it would be this wonderful."
"You should be in bed," he says.
"I know I should rest but I just want to stay like this with my girl in my arms," I say. "I'm very comfortable right now."
"I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do, love," he says. "Let me know when you're ready to go back upstairs, and I'll help you."
"Thanks," I say. I hold my girls tightly until we all three fall asleep. I only wake up when I feel Tobias lifting Tessa off my chest.
"Hi," he says. "I'm sorry I woke you." I look around and see that the sun has gone down. "Tyler's already in bed asleep. He's had an exciting day. Teagan's in her bassinet upstairs and I was just getting ready to put Tessa to bed. I'll be back down to help you, okay?"
"Okay," I murmur. I close my eyes again, surrendering to the fatigue and the next thing I know, I grunt when Tobias lifts me out of the chair. "I can walk."
"I've got you, love." He moves swiftly but carefully up the stairs, and I'm surprised there isn't more pain. Actually, using the stairs is worse than being carried. When he reaches our room, he starts to put me in bed but I tell him I need the bathroom so we make a detour. When I'm finishes, he helps me into a pair of baggy sleep pants and a tank top so I can nurse Teagan throughout the night. He helps me sit on the side of the bed and lifts my legs up and gently places them on the mattress. He's really good at helping me.
"Will you lie down with me?" I ask.
"As soon as I change Tessa's diaper," he says, sliding the quilt up my body. He kisses my head then disappears into the nursery. A few minutes later, he slides into bed beside me. I inch closer to him and he wraps his arms around me. He gives me a soft kiss and I sigh.
"This is nice," I say. "It seems like a long time since you just held me." He kisses my forehead and runs his fingers through my hair.
"Yeah, it is," he says. "How are you doing?"
"If I'm being honest, I'm overwhelmed and in pain," I say.
"I always want you to be honest with me," he says. "Just remember, our children aren't your responsibility alone. I'm staying home with you until you don't need my help getting around anymore then I'll take Tyler and Tessa to daycare while I go to work. How does that sound?"
"It sounds like heaven but I think you should go back to work tomorrow," I say.
"Can I ask you why?"
"Dauntless needs you," I say.
"My family needs me more, love," he says.
"I won't argue with you because one, I know it won't do any good and two, I want you home with me for a while."
"Thanks for not arguing with me," he says. "May I kiss you, love?"
"Of course, you can," I say. He tips my chin back and gently touches his lips to mine. The kiss is sweet, soft, tender. Before it can deepen, he moves his mouth from mine and kisses my forehead. I hear his barely inaudible groan. "You know we both don't have to be frustrated for six weeks." I put my hand on his chest and start to slide it down but he captures it in his.
"If you're frustrated, then so am I," he says, kissing my palm.
"I love you," I say around a yawn.
"Sleep, love," he says. I take his advice but the minute I close my eyes, Peanut starts fussing. Tobias gets out of bed and gently picks her up while I sit up then he puts her in my arms so I can nurse her. "It's going to be a long night, isn't it?"
"Yeah, I think it is," I say. "You know, Tessa didn't eat as often as Peanut does when she was a newborn so I'm not getting the rest I did then."
"I'm going to check on Tessa," he says. "She's going to want fed soon, too." He comes back carrying our little one who is sucking on her fist. I adjust Peanut and nurse them both. "I have to say, this is a real timesaver."
"You sound amazed."
"I won't lie. I am," he says. "Every time I see you doing this." He kisses my bare shoulder, and I lean against him. We watch the girls until they both finish then he puts Tessa back in her crib, and I get up and put Teagan in the bassinet. Tobias comes back into our room, and he puts his arm around me. After gazing at our daughter for a couple minutes, he steers me toward the bed and helps me in. Once he settles in next to me, I relax and succumb to the exhaustion.