Disclaimer: I'm apparently still writing this thing, even though I don't own it! What does that mean, audience?

HE HAS A LOT OF FREE TIME! WOOOOOOOO!

Hahaha, yeah. Yeah it does. (Siiiiiiigh).

Chapter 41: A Goddess

I think this will be ok. It shouldn't be dangerous if I just write things down.

Vanna has been amazing to me. I know it's easy to think that she's more concerned with other people than her Pokemon but... she's a Gym Leader for a reason. She has so much love inside of her and she pampers the three of us like we were her children, while finding the energy to give the League Pokemon she's given to use the love they deserve as well. She's a beautiful, amazing woman, and I'd die for her in an instant. Not that she'd let me.

I met her when I was just a Ralts. I was barely brave enough to lift my head out of the grass back then, even when there were lots of happy people around. But Vanna: the moment she saw me, I felt such overflowing joy. I love her so much, she makes me feel alive and confident just by smiling at me. I don't think I'd be able to walk around in public if she hadn't been gradually building me up for so long.

This is... actually the first time I've been separated from her in nearly five years. My chest tightens from nerves whenever I see someone and don't have her by my side but... I needed a Pokemon Center. It happens when I speak, I use too much too quickly. The nurses were able to bring my blood sugar back up easily after a good long soak in the revitalization tank, as well as an abundance of warm smiles and chocolate chip cookies.

Medici, though... Medici.

I think he's the reason I feel ok without Vanna here. I have a purpose, something to keep my mind busy. I need to make sure he pulls through, so I can't shrink away when the nurses come in to ask about him. He's... fine, but the fact that he hasn't woken up in over a day... it worries me. Vanna and her friends are no doubt on the road already, expecting to find us rested up and full of energy. What if he's still asleep when they arrive? What if Ms. Amber starts to cry again? I could barely stand seeing that the first time it happened, I'd go absolutely to pieces if she did it again.

It really is difficult to be so in tune with people's feelings, sometimes. I don't claim to be special or anything, that's just what my species does. It's particularly difficult around someone like Medici whose feelings fluctuate so frequently, and who experiences them so strongly... it's a lot of sensory input. It was rather distressing when I first met him.

Now I miss it.

It doesn't look right, him lying there. Of everyone I've met over the last month, only Qwill is supposed to be more full of life than him. Medici's not a peaceful Pokemon, he shouldn't be like this, he should be laughing and showboating and strumming that guitar of his.

I want to tell him to open his eyes. But I shudder to think of what would happen.

Amber

Medici's account doesn't do justice to how severe his wounds really were. That Tyrannitar nearly cut clean through his tiny torso, I swear. That fact that he even remained lucid after suffering a hit like that... he's lucky he's overpowered. Thank God Gardevoir was here... what she did was nothing short of a miracle. I swear she even replaced some of his lost blood.

It's over now, though. The hunters are leaving, the rest of the Pokemon are returning to the cave. I hadn't even realized there was a Heracross fighting with us, but there he is, along with a Timburr and that Scizor. They seem relieved: I imagine they'd expected things to go far worse. I wonder what they'll do now? And there... in the back.. without his shell again...

"There you are," I scolded as I walked up to the Dwebble, already preparing to scoop him up and check his wounds. "Did you really smash your shell again? Do you want to die?"

"Go easy on him, Lady Amber." Gallant shook the hands of the three large Pokemon, before gliding towards Vanna to embrace her. "He had it shot off of him... saved his neck like it was supposed to."

I looked down at the Dwebble, already snapping its claws to keep me from snatching it up, and smiled, bending down. "Good job," I said, reaching down and carefully patting it on the head, wary of bumping into its eye-stalks. "I'm sure you've made everyone proud. Here..."

I'd expected him to come back without a shell again, so I'd made a point of finding a pretty piece of marbled stone, and had hollowed it out while tending to the herd of Sawsbuck. The idea being that if the little guy had a shell that didn't seem so throwaway, he'd actually try and keep it in one piece. "This is for you," I said, taking it from my pocket and laying it down in front of him. "Take good care of it. And yourself."

The Dwebble skittered back and forth for a moment, running in a circle as if it wasn't sure how to process what I'd done. He tapped at the shell warily with his claw, then crawled in, the shell wiggling a little as he tested out the hollow, until his head finally popped out of the hole, letting out an enthusiastic 'DWEB!'.

"You're welcome," I smiled, giving him another pat. "You look so dapper! Keep it that way for a while, ok?" The Dwebble scurried over to the Heracross, who smiled broadly and gave an enthusiastic nod as the hermit crab Pokemon showed off, and I stood and moved over towards Axel, giving his arm a hug as he talked with Ranger German.

"It's a Cannon Ball," the ranger explained, holding a pitch black Pokeball that he'd received from Inigo.

"Is it? It doesn't look like one..." Axel scratched his cheek, brow furrowed in confusion. "Aren't they more solid than that? And like... not holding Pokemon?"

"Not a cannonball a CANNON. BALL. Cannon space Ball, both capitalized." He passed it back off to Inigo. "You're going to Maxilla, right? Be sure to drop this off to the Center immediately, the Pokemon inside of here is suffering. Would've sent this with Archimedes if I'd known..."

"Suffering in its ball?" Axel's brow only dipped further. "Why?"

"Well, you know how normal Pokeballs have these spaces inside designed to provide Pokemon with nice places to live?" Danger frowned. "This isn't like that, at all. Each ball keeps the Pokemon strapped down and injected with an array of needles, providing a slow, steady drip of stardust into them."

Oh, of course. Stardust boosting wasn't already illegal and inhumane enough, why not elevate it to an art form? I didn't need to hear more than that: every single thing I stood for as a breeder had been simultaneously violated. "Disgusting..." I shook my head. "That poor thing. It's got no chance of living any kind of normal life now."

"Yeah, well... when all you care about is power, you don't think about that," German said. "Sometimes I wish Cannon wasn't Ginli based... I'd love to bust some heads over there, make them taste the swift claws of justice! But alas. 'Tis not to be."

"You'd just get yourself captured again," Vanna teased, poking him in the cheek and making him blush. "But ok... as much as I'd love to stay and chat, we need to get to Maxilla A-S-A-P." She gave German a hug... quite a bit longer than it really should have been. But she still had a point. "Gardevoir won't do well without me for very long. Shoot, I'm worried about her already."

German saluted, and the Scizor came forward, shaking our hands on behalf of everyone. As we were beginning to say our goodbyes, I felt a sharp pinch at my ankle, more attention-grabbing than painful. Turning, I gasped in shock as the Dwebble lept at me, and managed to get a hand underneath it as it clamped onto the front of my vest and buried its head in my chest.

"Aw... easy there, little guy, you still need to be resting!" I gave it the best hug I could manage, feeling my chest warm up as it tugged on me just the tiniest bit harder. Why was Totodile never up for hugs like this? She always used to be... it's been long enough that I'd forgotten how nice it was. "I'll miss you too," I whispered.

"Are you sure?" I heard Gallant ask, and I looked over to see him conversing with the Heracross, whose smile had grown even wider than the last time I'd seen him. "The uh... warriors three, here say that since things appear to be finally coming under control here, that Dwebble's obligations are done. He's proven himself a fine man and may travel on, should he wish." He bowed to me... such a prim and proper Gallade, considering its trainer!

As heartwarming as it was, though, I couldn't help but feel torn. On the one hand, I had grown oddly attached to the little guy in the short span of time I'd know him; he was a tough little scrapper and just absolutely adorable. On the other hand, this journey wasn't a happy-go-lucky adventure. I'd be dragging this hermit crab, tough as he might be, into who knows how much danger. I already felt bad enough doing that with Totodile. This would effectively double the guilt.

In the back of my mind, I knew what the answer was, though. Selfish as it was, more protection for all of us... I couldn't pass that up.

"Do you want to come with me, Dwebble?" I asked, lifting him up and holding him at eye level. "It's going to be a long journey." I reached into my pocket and expanded a Pokeball, holding it in one hand and offering it to the crab. To my delight, he let out a cry and pressed the button in front, happily going inside, the ball not even wiggling before it locked shut.

Shelligan whistled a celebratory tune, and Qwill let out a cheer. Axel gave me a squeeze and Vanna immediately tackle-hugged both of us. "So exciting! A new friend!" she cheered.

"What should I name him?" I asked, opening the ball and letting the Dwebble rest on my shoulder.

"I have some ideas, actually," Vanna grinned. "This whole scenario we've found ourselves in. Doesn't it remind you of anything? A certain movie?"

I grinned. "Two, actually," I nodded. "Did the numbers even match up correctly?"

"They might have... ooh!" Vanna wiggled her hips, lifting a leg off the ground. "I think they did!"

"So we're naming him Flik, then? Neat!" I stopped and turned to Axel, cocking my head.

"Why... would we name him Flik?"

"Because... I mean, the movie you guys are talking about is 'A Bug's Life' right? With Sawsbuck instead of ants and hunters instead of grasshoppers?"

Had I really neglected to show Axel the works of Akira Kurosawa? I know I hadn't. He was either being intentionally thick to make a joke or he'd honestly forgotten. Neither was acceptable, and I was about to lay into him a bit, but Vanna, of course, intervened.

"I guess..." she said, scratching her chin. "I mean, Bug's Life is the only version of the story where nobody dies, right? And Flik rolls off the tongue a lot better than 'Katsushiro', I suppose."

"But Katsushiro is so much... classier, isn't it?" I thought for a moment, then ultimately looked towards Dwebble. "What do you think?"

"Dweb DWEB Dwebble, Ebble bebble dweb EBBLE DWEB DWEB!"

"Gallant?"

"Um... I'm sorry, Lady Amber, but I can only give a rough transliteration... and you may think I'm jesting with you, but it sounds like 'Hoppip-idy boppip-ity, snickersnacker ding dong... um..." He paused for a moment, gritting his teeth and staring at the ground. "...Henry Cavendish."

I broke into a huge grin after hearing that. It was almost too perfect to be real. "Cavendish it is, then! Welcome to the team, friend."

Toto

You missed your chance, young one.

I know that. I should have just gone for it when I had the chance. Now that Dwebble... gosh, it really is thick, isn't it? How can it be so happy to just roll over and submit to a human like that?

I noticed you do it earlier. When the Meditite was injured.

… That's different. Medici is a Pokemon, I did it for him.

A Pokemon so far from being wild that he's practically become human. I won't condemn what you did, but... well. I can't say I would have condemned you refusing him aid either. In fact, with him gone, you had ample opportunity to turn on that redheaded slave driver of yours.

… You're right. But...

Hm?

Nothing. Just having second thoughts. Wondering if I could actually do it.

Understandable. But I believe in your strength, young one. Put your mind to it and the next time you have the opportunity, I have no doubt you will do me proud.

And then?

I take you away. You live as you choose to live. You help me build a better world for all Pokemon, stripped of the whims of mankind.

Yes. I'll do it. It sounds...

I ran into a green, outstretched arm. "The hell, Inigo?" I said, stomping on the ground, about to yell out before he clamped my mouth shut and drug me off the side of the path. I struggled against him, making muffled noises but to no avail, as he pressed me up against a tree.

"I have noticed." He locked eyes with me, staring intently. "I see your eyes dart back and forth, and I have watched you grow farther and farther removed from us. It's tempting you, I know the signs. I am intervening now to offer you help."

Help? Help? What kind of help could a Pokemon so subservient to humans that he literally calls his trainer 'master' provide?

"I know the words sound sweet," he whispered. "I know the ideas sound grandiose and beautiful and that you feel like you could be part of something important but ignore her." He removed his hand from my jaw, and I snapped at him, though he easily dodged out of the way. "I was one of them," he confessed. "I let him into my mind once, and that was enough for it to plant the seed permanently. Once she is inside she is nearly impossible to extricate so Do. Not. Falter." His eyes softened a bit. "You will become something you are not. And even if you manage to be cured, like I was, the guilt remains. As does that damnable seed that gives it a place in my head even now."

I growled at him. Why the hell wouldn't I want her in my head? "You don't understand. You can't understand, you're too far gone." As I tried to think of something more clever to say, he raised a Lead Blade to my throat, and I fell silent.

"I will remain silent for now, and give you a chance to reform, but I will be watching." He retracted his blade and turned back towards the path. "If I sense that you are about to turn, I will cut you down before you get the chance. Know that." He sprinted forwards to catch up with the group, leaving me alone in the dark shaded wood.

"Totodiiiile!" I heard Amber call out; nice of her to realize I'm gone, I guess. "Toto? Where are you?"

Go. Act the part for now. I'll take care of him in Highbank.

I ran towards Amber, putting on my best grin and giving her a wave, feeling bile rise in the back of my throat. We can't get to Highbank soon enough.

Author's Note

So this chapter was originally going to be all Gardevoir, but I started to realize that her narrative made more sense split up like this. It's the first time she's spoken, so I still felt I needed to give the chapter the naming convention I'd set for that, but I feel a little bad that she didn't say much.

Next chapter should be almost all her, though.

I'm having trouble with her, I won't lie. I'm not sure how well I'm translating her sensitivity and vulnerability onto the page: I'm trying to make her seem insecure without making her appear weak, if that makes any sense. Maybe it doesn't.

Leave a review if you've made it this far, yeah? You're witnessing something of an 'SI Renaissance' here, so I'm curious if there's been a significant increase or decrease in quality from the last chapter I wrote three years ago (39) to these latest ones.

And just to let you all in on a dirty little secret: not only was Dwebble originally planned to join Axel's team, but he was also going to have the name 'Flik Jackson'. I really, really want to go back and edit the 'Afraid to Live' chapter to have Amber talk to Dwebble instead of Axel but... y'know. Sins of the past aan't be overwritten and all that. She's been tending to him throughout this entire arc, so it does make a fair bit of sense why he'd want to go with her, plus it gives Toto a nice foil, doesn't it?

Viva la feminism!