"Stay put!" Scully warned the soaped dog that was trying to get out of her tub. "If you're going to continue sleeping in my bed, you have to be clean!"

Mulder whined, hiding his tail between his legs. He was miserable. The wet fur was heavy on him and shampoo for dogs smelled terrible. On top of it, his owner had no mercy.

"Come on, this can't be that bad," Scully smiled at his obvious discomfort, which didn't make him feel any better. Humans can be incredibly cruel, but he trusted her, he belonged to her, he depended on her. He had to endure whatever she deemed fit to do with him. Except the hairdryer! He barked loudly when she tried to use that thing on him, not letting her come close.

"Mulder, you're wet, I need to dry you," Scully tried to explain, but he wasn't listening to reason. He growled once, then lowered his head and went on whining, ashamed that he had to raise his voice on her.

"Men!" Scully shook her head in disbelief, not understanding this reaction to a simple hairdryer.

"Dogs!" She shook her head again, giving up. "All right, I'm putting it down. But stay on the floor until your fur dries by itself, I don't want you to wet my furniture. Do you understand?"

Mulder whined, not looking at her. He just wanted to get out of the bathroom and never be taken to the tub again. He wanted to smell like a dead animal's remains, not like whatever this was that Scully washed him with.

Still smiling, Scully opened the bathroom door and Mulder rushed out. He found his little green toy and curled in the corner with it, licking his wet fur and wounded pride.

"Look what I bought for you," Scully tried to gain his attention a few minutes later. He raised his head and gave her a suspicious look. She had something in her hand, but he didn't know what and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out. He whined miserably, pleading for her to finally show some mercy.

"It's just cookies," Scully assured him. "For dogs. Look, they are shaped like little bones. You want one?"

Mulder carefully sniffed the cookie she offered, not sure whether to trust her or if this was some kind of trap.

Scully curiously observed him. She still wasn't sure how much he could understand and how much of her partner was present in this dog. It surely seemed like he could understand a lot, but then again, she'd felt the same for Queequeg, who never was a human. It was time for a little experiment.

"Sit!" She ordered and Mulder complied, getting a cookie.

"Speak!" She told him and he barked, getting another tiny bone.

"Roll over," she went on, and he did as he was told once again. He had no problem understanding her, but dogs can easily learn those commands. She needed to try something harder, and having Mulder on his back gave her a nice view of his private parts, which in turn gave her an idea.

"I decided to have you neutered," she said seriously. "I made an appointment with a vet for Monday."

"Woof!" Mulder jumped, terrified. He run to the kitchen and, finding nowhere else to crawl to, hid under the table. He growled at her when she followed.

"Relax, it was a joke," she tried to assure him, but he didn't let her come close.

Staying on the safe distance, Scully observed her aghast partner in a purely scientific manner. No dog could be neutered more than once, so no dog was supposed to ever understand the meaning of that word. Mulder seemed to understand it very well, so his human mind and memories must have been hidden somewhere inside that cute head. Yet, he had canine body, and dogs can't lie. She had a perfect opportunity to find out anything she wanted, since Mulder would not be able to hide his true feelings.

Did you really grab my ass by accident after that meeting, Mulder? Did the New Year's kiss mean anything to you? Why did you hide my ova from me for so long? Did you want that baby, too? Would you be a father to it? What did you really have to do to get me the cure for my cancer? Do you ever think about me instead of watching your tapes? Did that night mean anything? If Diana had lived, would you have called her your touchstone instead of me?

She was ashamed of her thoughts. She sounded like a jealous bitch even to herself, but that wasn't the worst part of it. No, the worst part was that she actually considered using Mulder's… disability to find out his secrets. As tempting as it sounded, it was immoral and she had no right to torture him like that. Besides, if the answers weren't what she was hoping for, did she really want to know?

No!

Yes…

"I trust you," she whispered and left the kitchen. If she ever gained the courage to ask, she would be asking the man, not a dog. If he ever decided to tell her, it would be by his own free will.

Staying alone in the kitchen, Mulder relaxed a little. He was determined to never leave the cover of the table, but he soon forgot what he was doing there in the first place and got bored, so he went to search for some company. He found his alien and played with it for a bit, then decided it would be more fun if Scully played with him, so he took the toy and went to search for her.

He found her in the living room and she was relieved to see him happy again. Since he was almost dry she allowed him to sit on the couch with her and turned the TV on, looking for something they could watch together. It didn't take long until she found a show about dogs, with explicit scene of two dogs copulating. Mulder froze, dropped his toy and started to drool, not taking his eyes off the TV. Scully giggled, feeling silly and just a little bit naughty.

Not being into the show as much as Mulder, she was the first to notice an intruder. Someone was standing at her living room door, quietly observing them.

"Mulder," Scully gasped, dropping the remote control. He looked at her worriedly, then turned his head in the direction of her gaze.

Genia was back.