Chapter 48: Hope you guys enjoy. There are a lot of twists in this chapter. Thanks so so so much for all your lovely reviews from the last chapter. You are all wonderful for sticking with this.
Coming up next: Sonia and Kim dig deeper into Bella`s past but Jacob and Jared are growing a lot more suspicious. Edward warns Sonia and Kim from digging deeper. What team is he playing for? A bit from Jacob`s POV as he and Jared do some digging of their own and find the cave.
Happy reading and enjoy.
Kim left with Sue but before we made plans to meet up again tomorrow to start our little investigation. Well, little investigation didn`t really cover it. It was something big. Someone, some stupid person, had set Utlapa free. For what reason though? Why would a Quileute, a member of our tribe, free him? He hates the tribe. He wants to hurt us. He wants us all to die.
And the imprints...we are spirit warriors. Gosh...when I was a little girl it was my dream. But now, knowing that I had this ability, it seems more like a nightmare. What`s the point of having powers if you know you can`t use them? It would kill Jacob if I left my body. I would never ever ever EVER do that! It was such a terrifying thought. So what now? This is so fucking confusing. What the hell are we supposed to do?
So now it was about two a.m and I was waiting for Jacob to come over. I was being to freak out. What if he was angry at me for not telling him what was going down? I fingered the dreamcatcher necklace that Jacob had made me and sat on my bed on top a load of clothes and turned off my lamp so I was left in the dark. I really wanted to tell Jacob but I couldn`t. It would get back to the rest of the wolves and they would take us all away. It was not an option.
"Sonia?" I heard Jacob`s hushed voice come from my open window. I felt my heart go into over drive a little as I hopped off the bed and went over. He was bathed in moonlight looking like some sort of hot warrior coming for his lover. Christ, I needed to stop thinking about him that way. I didn`t want my fantasies to over shadow what was really important now.
"Jacob!" I leaned out the window and threw my arms around his neck, breathing in his smell. I didn`t trust myself to look into his eyes so I buried my head into his neck. Oh Jacob...please understand...please don`t make this even harder for me...
"Hey there..." He had his hands on my waist, holding me and pushing back into my room. Releasing him so he could climb in I took some steadying breaths. Once he was inside I rushed to hug him again.
"Sonia...are you okay?" He whispered, concerned. I nodded, choking up a little. "You`re not." He stated, trying to look down into my face.
"Just...just hold me...just stay with me..." I begged him, knowing he would do what I wanted and not press me now. He picked me up and lay down on the bed with me. We just stayed there, in each others arms, holding one another. I needed his warmth, his security. His fingers found their way to my neck and to the necklace he made me.
"You like it?" He asked, a bit unsure. Intertwining his fingers with mine I gave him a kiss on the mouth.
"I love it...that you so much Jacob...maybe it will keep the bad dreams out." Jacob`s hands came to cup my face. Before I knew what was happening his mouth was upon mine, hot and searching. I responded in kind as he intensified the kiss. Deepening it as he felt the length of back, crushing his body closer to mine. After a while he groaned and broke off, making me feel horribly disappointed.
"I know you are not going to tell me what`s going on... if Kim won`t tell Jared then I already know you won`t tell me."
"I`m sorry. But...it`s..." I broke off and rolled onto my back.
"I trust you Sonia. But I just want to know that you are in no danger."
"I`m not. Nobody is either."
"Promise?"
"If this was too much for me to handle then I would tell you."
"Would you?"
"I would. Are you angry with me?"
"I`m not. I`m just...worried. Terrified actually. Hearing Kim say the things she said. Having Jared freak out is fucking nuts. Out of all of us they seemed the most solid you know."
"Even more solid than Emily and Sam?"
"Yeah...much more. Emily and Sam...you know they don`t sleep together right?"
"What?" I gasped out, sitting up a little. Was this really the time for gossip?
"Yeah so... Kim and Jared from the start..."
"I don`t think we should talk about them...Kim`s a private person..."
"I get it. So..."
"Tell me what you are feeling? Tell me what you are thinking?" I begged him.
"I thought I told you? Sonia...I...I want to believe you when you tell me that you are not in danger but I can`t help but feel that that`s a lie. It`s a gut feeling. But I know you`re strong. You can handle yourself. So...I think...that...once you have your mind set on something...once you believe that what you are doing is the right thing then...I`ll wait for you to tell me, or not tell me. If that makes any sense."
"Thanks Jacob. I need your trust on this. Do...do you think you could talk to Jared? Tell him to try and understand that Kim needs to do this alone?" Jacob laughed a little.
"I already did. He`s not having any of it. He will find out what`s going on." I sighed as Jacob told me this.
"He will just end up pushing Kim away. She won`t tell him. I promise you that."
"That`s their problem. What I`m thinking about is you." He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed the tip of my nose. I couldn`t shake the feeling that something was not quite right. Jacob was livid when I went to meet Edward. He should be freaking out now right?
"Jacob...are you being understanding just because you want me to trust you again? Because you think I`ll tell you what`s going on this way?"
"What?" He said, sitting up. "Are you for real?"
"I have to really know how you feel!" I cried, forgetting about my mom sleeping. Jacob turned to me and grabbed me by the shoulders, putting his face so close to mine.
"You really want to know?" He growled. I nodded, gulping down the fear that had sprang up inside of me. I could hear him breathing hard. "You have no idea how hard it is not to just pick you up and carry you the fuck outta here. Far away. Because I know something is here that`s scaring you. I can feel it Sonia!"
"I know you can." I sobbed out. Jacob`s hold on my shoulders loosened and he ran his hands down my arms and to my hands.
"So what do I do then Sonia? I want to protect you but I can`t. I know I can`t and that makes me feel so helpless."
"How do you think I feel? Knowing that you are in danger too and I can do nothing to help you? When you came back from that battle so messed up...and I could do nothing! I could only watch...I could only wait! You may be the closest thing to indestructable there is but..."
"That`s different!"
"Is it? No it`s not..." I shook my head and looked over Jacob`s shoulder. "Together we are stronger right? You give me your protection, maybe I give you protection too?" Please...please understand Jacob! He didn`t say anything for a long time. "Please say something!" He grabbed his face and made him look at me. In the moonlight I could see that his eyes were pained. Like he was fighting some internal battle.
"Say something!" I asked again. He was making me scared. "Please..." I put my mouth close to his. He still didn`t move, didn`t respond. Please Jacob...
I took his hands and placed them on my hips, my mouth still close to his, neither one of us moving in for the kiss, the tension building. Running his hands up my waist and just below my breasts I stopped...God I wanted him...I loved him...I needed him...a beautiful ache was building up between my legs, begging for Jacob to do something about it. As I brought my mouth down onto his he backed away quickly. I stumbled forward but caught myself before I could fall off the bed.
"You don`t really want this..." He whispered, pulling at his hair, breathing hard. "You`re confused."
"I`m not. I want it. I want you."
"Please don`t say that! Not now!" He growled angrily. "If we do this. If we have sex now then there is no going back Sonia. I will have you as my girlfriend. I won`t be content with just fucking because I want more from you, more than you are willing to give right now. This is not the right time to be getting back together don`t you think?"
"Maybe it is?"
"Shit you are unbelievable. No it`s not! You don`t trust me! You don`t trust me enough to tell me what`s going on!"
"Kim can`t tell Jared either!"
"This isn`t about them! It`s about us. I know what will happen. We will sleep together tonight and then something will happen that will make you run away from me again."
"No Jacob...please..."
"Please what? Sonia...just tell me. I can help you. Whatever problem you and Kim have the pack will help. You have my word. I swear it."
"You can`t. I want to tell you but I can`t."
"Why not?"
"Just trust me on this. Don`t make it more difficult."
"That`s a lot to ask. Knowing that an imprint is in trouble is bad enough. Two of them... Jared won`t let this rest. I won`t either."
"You`re making this harder Jacob."
"No, you are the one making this hard. Stop being so stubborn."
"I`ve respected the packs secret. I`ve respected and kept your secret. Why can`t you respect the fact that I have one that needs to be kept?"
"I`ll keep it." He said with ernest.
"How exactly? You share a mind link remember. I tell you, you tell the pack and then everyone knows. It`s not my secret to share, not even with you."
"You are not going to budge on this are you?"
"No I`m not."
"Then...where does that leave me?" Jacob asked.
"You can leave...or you can stay. It`s your choice."
"That`s not what I meant."
"You know what I need you to do."
Jacob and I stared at each other a long time. Would he trust me to let me deal with this on my own.
"If I want to stay tonight?" He asked. I felt my stomach tighten in anticipation. Taking off my t-shirt and panties I lay under the duvet, waiting for him. In the darkness I saw him strip. He settled in beside me and wrapped in his strong arms. "You`re sure?" He breathed into my ear as his fingers traced light patterns on the skin of my quivering stomach.
Was I sure? I was doing a stupid thing but I didn`t care. I don`t care. I needed him.
"I`m sure. Please Jacob..." I ran my hands over his chest and nipped on his neck.
"Tell me you are mine." He breathed in my ear as he rolled on top of me. My voice caught in my throat as he was kissing my cheek. If you tell him that then... "Tell me that you are mine forever."
"I`m...I`m yours..." It came out so choked that Jacob stopped what he was doing and just looked at me.
"Is that really true Bluebird?" He asked as he traced my jaw line.
"Yes. You know it is." I told him. All the sexual excitement I had felt before had evaporated.
"It`s about what I said before right? About you being my girlfriend?"
"I...I..."
"Don`t worry." He rolled off me. He sounded so...sad...embarrassed. "You should sleep."
"You`re going to stay right?" I asked, taking his hand.
"If you want me too..."
"Do you want to?"
"You know I do."
"Everyday you come here girl you look more and more downcast." Mr. McBride said from the living room. I was cooking his food for the week and so didn`t want to be here.
"Maybe it`s you?" I muttered under my breath. "Jerk off."
"Me eh?" How the fuck did he hear that? "In my day young people never dared to disrespect their elders like that."
"I...I...didn`t say anthing." I said. Cheeks flaming I stirred the carrot soup vigorously.
"So you are a liar as well as a bastard?"
"Stop calling me that!" I yelled, getting angry. If Mr. McBride was angry or shocked at my outburst it didn`t show. "You have no right calling me that!"
"It`s the truth isn`t it? Your daddy brought shame to this tribe. Looks like you are following in his footsteps."
"FUCK YOU!" I hollered at him, throwing the wooden spoon I was stirring with across the kitchen. "You bitter old creep! You don`t fucking how me!"
"I don`t? I know you better than you know yourself Sonia."
"What are you some sort of psychic?" I snorted, turning off the gas on the stove. Fuck this shit. Mr. McBride can find some other slave to look after him. I grabbed my coat and bag and made for the door.
"You are the same scared little girl that got lost in the woods all those years ago. You and the other imprint. Kim isn`t it?" He said in a low but clear voice. My insides had turned to ice as I stared at him in horror. "You are the same child that found out a secret that needed to be kept no matter what the sacrifice."
"You...you are him...you`re Utlapa..." Oh God Oh God Oh God.
"Me? Utlapa? I swear with every new generation everyone just gets stupider. I`m not Utlapa. I`m someone else."
"Bullshit." Run Sonia!
"I found you? Don`t you remember? I saved you before he could really hurt you."
"No..." I shook my head and backed away. A hazy memory came to mind. One of a faceless old man coming and taking my hand...pulling me out of the cave and carrying me to my mommy. Was it him?
"Yes Sonia. You know that you have nothing to fear from me. I`m not the person you awoke."
"Who are you then?"
"George McBride." He answered.
"No...how the hell do you know about imprinting? How do you know about Utlapa?" I demanded, walking towards him.
"I know because I was entrusted to make sure that he never escaped but it looked like I failed now doesn`t it? Because of you and the other girl. Because of an unfortunate twist of fate."
"We didn`t set him free."
"True, you didn`t, but you awoke him. The magic in your blood called to him."
"Who set him free?"
"One who wants to live forever."
"But who?"
"I`m not psychic as you said Sonia."
"So you don`t know then...some fucking protector you are."
"I know this much. Whoever set him free wants what Utlapa wants. This person is weak enough to fall for his manipulations."
"What does he want? Besides to destroy the tribe that is."
"He wants his other half." Mr. McBride strode towards me and grabbed my arm with surprising strength. His eyes were blazing with determination. "Call the other imprint over here."
"Who are you?" I asked again.
"I was one of Taha Aki`s sons. I`ve had many names over the years but my real name is one long forgotten to everyones lips. When my father banished Utlapa to the cave he had a vision. He foresaw Utlapa`s return...he foresaw that when countless generations passed Utlapa would find his spirit wife and together with her, would destroy the Quileute`s. Erase every last one of them so that La Push would be a breathing ground for evil."
"Utlapa`s spirit wife is alive? She set him free?"
"No...she isn`t alive yet. If we are lucky she never will exist."
"I don`t know what to say." Kim said from the warmth of the fireplace. She had had a hard time sneaking away from her house. Jared had taken Noah over to his parents house to a birthday party for his younger brother. Kim had gotten out of it saying that she had a migraine. But she was nervous that he would somehow find out that she was here and listen in.
We had learned as well that Mr. McBride was a wolf. But when his father died so did his mind connection to the new Chief. He wasn`t part of the new pack. Whenever he phased the wolves that come after him couldn`t hear him.
"It`s true Kimimela." Mr. McBride said. He seemed to like Kim a whole lot better than me.
"It`s just Kim." She corrected him.
"Kim. The two of you are bound to this. You awoke him. You have to stop this."
"And you are sure you don`t know who woke him." She pressed. I thought he was lying for some reason and evidently so did Kim.
"This isn`t the time to keep more secrets." I told him.
"I told you that this person wants to live forever didn`t I? You really can`t think of anyone you know?" He asked, like he was talking to a child. I thought. And then it hit me...
"Bella Bitch Swan." I whispered.
"What?" Kim said, snapping her head up.
"Bella! She is the only one I know who wants to live forever! She wants to be a leech remember!"
"But Bella isn`t a Quileute." Kim reminded me. Shit! She was right. Then another thought hit me.
"She doesn`t have to be full blooded though. She could have some Quileute ancestors."
"That`s possible..." Kim nodded. "What do you think...or know?" She asked Mr. McBride.
"She is a foolish girl for sure."
"She`s a fucking moron!" I hissed. "What Jacob ever saw in her..." I shook my head.
"Jacob. The new Chief. He more than likely sensed the danger but interpreted it in a strange way."
"What do you mean? Sensed the danger?" I asked.
"Don`t underestimate the wolves. They can do more than change into giant animals girls. They can sense danger a long time before it happens."
"So..Jacob could sense that Bella was dangerous but thought instead that she was in danger. I fucking get it now..." I whispered.
"It makes sense Sonia. Jacob felt this overwhelming need to keep Bella from changing into a leech because she would be more dangerous that way." Kim added, nodding.
"But...okay...say it was Bella that set Utlapa free. But that doesn`t explain who is his spirit wife? Would it be Bella?"
"No Sonia. I already told you that she isn`t alive yet." Mr. McBride reminded me. Oh yeah, forgot about that.
"So...we have to prevent Utlapa`s spirit wife from being born. That`s not impossible at all is it?" Kim sang sarcastically.
"We have to continue this another time. Your wolf is looking for you Kim." Mr. McBride told Kim. She muttered an 'aw shit' under her breath. "Yours too Sonia. It`s only a matter of time before they come here."
"Great." I rolled my eyes. I gave Kim a sorry look. Her and Jared were totally not talking at the moment and this morning waking up next to Jacob and his giant morning boner was decidedly awkward.
"I should head. We`ll talk about this tomorrow. Come over to mine after school Sonia. You too Mr. McBride. Jared will get suspicious if I keep coming here." She said. She paused at back door and turned to Mr. McBride again. "Thanks for letting us know this stuff." He nodded at her and she left. We watched her walk off in the misty rain. Pulling her hood up and covering her shiny black hair I felt a pang of guilt. She was having a hard time with Jared and I was getting cozy with Jacob again.
"She is a good young woman." Mr. McBride murmured. He turned to me. "And so are you Sonia."
Remember to review. I listen to all you have to say. The good and the bad. Besos.