Mulder was sitting with his head buried in his hands, while Scully went to throw up again.

"What is wrong with me?" he thought. "Why can't she spend five minutes with me without getting sick? It wasn't like this when I was a dog."

His shoulders started to shake. It hurt to feel rejected.

"Mulder?" Scully came back. "Are you crying?"

"No," he objected, in between sobs. He got up and moved away, turning his back to Scully. "Leave me alone!"

"Mulder, what's wrong?" Scully didn't obey him, as usual.

"These clothes don't fit," Mulder whined. It was true, and it brought him more tears. He came back to a human form only to find out that nothing fits him anymore, not even the only constant in his life: his partner.

"Okay…" Scully was thinking fast. "Do you want to go shopping?"

"Shopping?" Mulder turned to her, feeling excited, but not knowing why.

"Yes," Scully nodded. "I would lend you some of my clothes, but, as you already noticed, they wouldn't fit you. We can buy you something that would."

"You want to go shopping with me?" Mulder sounded suspicious. "The mere sight of me makes you sick, but you're willing to take me shopping?"

"It's not you what's making me sick," Scully shook her head, feeling amused. She thought she knew her partner well, but she never saw him acting like a woman with PMS before.

"It's not me?!" Mulder snapped, crying again. "Who is it then? Because I don't see anybody else here, Scully! Do you see anybody else? I don't think you do! No, no you don't! It's just the two of us, so it has to be me! You are disgusted by me! Admit it, Scully! You are supposed to be my best friend, my only friend in all this, and you can't! Even! Look! At me!"

Scully just stood there, watching him without throwing up, which was a more powerful gesture than anything she could've said to him at that moment. She wasn't disgusted, she was touched. He never called her his best friend before. She loved him, even now. As a man, dog, or a woman, Mulder was just as cute and loveable, more than she could ever express in words. So she didn't even try. She kept standing there and offered a tissue when it seemed Mulder's breakdown was coming to an end.

"Are you done?" she asked him, just to be sure.

"Yeah," Mulder nodded. "I think so."

"What was that, anyway?" Scully wondered.

"I don't know, Scully," Mulder sniffed. "I'm a woman, I have feelings!"

"You always had feelings, Mulder," Scully smiled fondly.

"Not like this, Scully, I'm telling you, this is insane! Geez!"

"You'll get used to it," Scully assured him, at the same time hoping that he wouldn't have to.

"Do you still want to go shopping with me?" Mulder asked hopefully.

"Yes. Do you?"

"More than I would like to admit," Mulder confessed, which made Scully chuckle. He was already more of a woman than she ever was!

"I'm sure you won't need woman's clothes for long, but there's no reason for you to be uncomfortable until then," Scully reasoned. "Are you ready to go?"

"Um, no," Mulder was hesitant. "I should have a shower first."

"But I just gave you a bath!"

"Yes, that's why. You used shampoo for dogs!" Mulder accused her.

"You were a dog," Scully reminded him.

"I still didn't like it."

"I've noticed that."

"But you didn't stop!"

"You destroyed my plants and raped my pillow. I think we're even."

"Fine!"

"Do you want to use my shampoo this time?"

"Count on it, Scully!"

It took him a while, but taking a shower seriously improved Mulder's mood. Scully could only wonder what else (s)he did in there, but she didn't really want to know. Whatever a man, who just got himself a female body, does to familiarize with said body is nobody's business but his.

They went to a mall. At first it was awkward for Mulder to enter woman's aisles and stores and try on women's clothes, but the more they bought, the more relaxed he felt. Most of his new clothes were casual or business, since Scully snatched away every sexy dress he took from the shelves with the intention of trying it. They got him some make-up and a new haircut, and Mulder was starting to really like the woman that was looking at him from the store mirrors. He just wished that woman was someone else…

"Mulder, high heels are not for you," Scully was trying to explain to him in the shoe store.

"If you can wear them, so can I," he insisted.

"I wear them to be able to reach your belly button! Don't make this harder for me."

"Afraid of a little competition, Scully?"

"Mulder…" Scully sighed in frustration, but she then heard something more frustrating, horrifying even, right behind her.

"Agent Scully?"

"Oh, hi sir," she turned around, coming face to face with her boss. Damn!

"I heard you talking to Mulder," Skinner said. "Where is he?"

"I'm right here!" Mulder told him.

"Excuse me," Skinner turned to him. "Who are you?"

"This is Mulder's cousin," Scully hurried to explain. "Vixen Mulder. You heard me talking to her, sir. Mulder is not back yet."

"Vixen?" Mulder gave her a furious look, to which Scully only shrugged. She had to think fast and that was the first name that came to her mind.

"It's a nice name," Skinner assured him, not taking his eyes off of him. Mulder stared at him, sure that his boss will recognize him at any moment, but that moment just wasn't coming. Skinner gazed at him like he never did before and it gave Mulder chills.

"Walter Skinner," Skinner offered his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Vixen."

"You too, sir," Mulder accepted the hand, hesitating a lot.

"Call me Walter," Skinner smiled. Mulder gave Scully a panic look, silently begging for help.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're in a hurry," Scully pulled her partner away from their boss, just as eager to leave as Mulder was.

"That was weird," Mulder noticed when they reached a safe distance.

"Tell me about it," Scully agreed. "Let's just forget the high heels and get out of here."

"Okay."

"Do you want to go home or back to my place?"

"I just want to go home. Do some research, you know."

Scully didn't know what kind of research, but she didn't ask. She didn't want to know.

They walked in silence for a while, when Mulder suddenly asked: "Do you know what else is weird, Scully?"

"What?"

"You trying to reach my navel."

"Drop it, Mulder."

"No, I'm serious. What the hell do you want to do with my belly button?"