I put my feet up on the ottoman and relax into the plush microfiber club chair as I gaze down at Peanut as she nurses. Tobias and I got back to Dauntless just in the nick of time. When I knocked on Will and Christina's door, I could hear my baby crying, and I felt horrible for leaving her for any amount of time. The minute I took her in my arms she quieted down but made it very clear that she was hungry and wasn't going to wait anymore. I thanked Christina, told her we had a lot to talk about, and then excused myself to our apartment.
I wanted to go back to Tobias' office with him after I picked up Peanut because we have so much work to do but after some coaxing, he convinced me to come home. Actually, it didn't take much persuading. After jumping on and off the train, not only am I exhausted but I'm quite sore. I imagine I'll take a nap once Peanut goes back to sleep but right now her blue eyes are wide and bright, staring intently back at me.
"How did you do with Aunty Christina today, Peanut?" She told me that my girl was a perfect little angel until a couple minutes before I arrived. Of course, she slept most of the time but after she woke up, she put her on the floor with Liam. He loves my daughter. I may tease about them getting married one day but we're definitely going to have to keep an eye on them when they reach their teenage years. "Did you miss me because I sure missed you? But Mommy and Daddy needed to take care of a little business. I'd tell you about it but I don't want to bore you. You probably don't understand but just in case you do. I'll tell you about the Ferris wheel instead." I proceed to tell her the story of her father following me the night of capture the flag and him having it refurbished as a wedding gift. "I can't wait until Mommy and Daddy get to take you up in the big wheel but we'll have to wait until next spring unless we have a really mild winter." After she finishes, she quickly falls to sleep. I take her upstairs and gently place her in the bassinet after I change her diaper. I should check in with Christina and Tobias but I'm just too tired. I pull the quilt back on the bed then crawl in.
My eyes flutter open, and I take a deep, cleaning breath. It takes a second to realize that a large muscular body is pressed up against mine. I feel his hand resting on my hip, and I lay mine on top then lace our fingers together. He brushes my hair out of the way with the tip of his nose then presses his lips just below my ear, causing me to sigh.
"I didn't mean to wake you up," Tobias says. "You looked so peaceful lying here that I just had to join you."
"Have you been here long?" I ask, releasing his hand and rolling over with a groan.
"You've done too much today," he says with a frown.
"I'm going to say something I seldom say, you're right." I giggle before I complete the statement.
"It's really not funny," he says, concern and … fear on his face. I reach up and caress his tense cheek then run my hand into his hair. He slowly moves his mouth to mine for a tender kiss.
"I know," I breathlessly say when our lips part. "You never answered me." He furrows his brows at me. "How long have you been here?"
"I haven't been here long, just a couple minutes," he says. "I have an idea. Let me know what you think? You're not up for going all the way to the cafeteria for supper so why don't we have everyone here? We can get several pizzas and some drinks, maybe even a couple cakes so everyone is happy. We need to warn our friends about what Edward told us without giving away the fact that we talked to him."
"How do you suggest we do that?" I ask as I rest my head back on my pillow. I'm still exhausted. Maybe I wasn't asleep long.
"We'll speak in hypotheticals," he says. "We'll tell them that we assume we are the targets of Molly and Drew's revenge and that we don't want any more of our friends hurt … or worse."
"I agree," I say. "It's a good excuse to get everyone together. They'll all want to see Peanut, and Tyler will want to eat cake with Uriah."
"I'm glad you like my idea," he says as he rolls over onto his back and takes his phone out of his pocket. He sends a mass text to our friends inviting them over at 7 tonight for supper. I look over my shoulder at the clock and see that it's only a little after 5 p.m. I wasn't asleep long.
"Did you have a productive afternoon?" I ask. He rolls back up on his side and stares down at me. "Any word on Tori?"
"No, nothing new from Will," he says. "He's going to start a grid search at first light tomorrow with the help of Shauna, Simon, and Tony. I told them about your four-and-a-half minute comment. It gave Will an idea. He hasn't clued me in on what it is yet but it definitely put a spark in him."
"Hhm. I wonder what he got out of that thought." I ponder aloud.
Tobias puts his hand lightly over my cesarean scar and says, "How are you doing? Are you still sore?"
"A little," I say. "But it's not as bad as it was earlier."
"You shouldn't have jumped on the train. I should have gotten the car."
"Don't blame yourself," I say. "I'm the one who ran and jumped on a train and, to tell you the truth, I loved it. It was just as exhilarating and terrifying as the first time. I love the train."
"I should go get the kids," he says. He starts to roll away from me but I grab ahold of him and pull his mouth to mine.
"We have a little time," I say against his lips. I wrap my arms around his neck and knot my fingers in his hair as I kiss him tenderly. He glides his hand from my tummy up and covers my aching breast. He kneads it gently while our tongues tangle then I moan against his mouth when he rolls on top of me.
"You okay?" he asks, leveraging himself with his arms, taking his weight off me.
"Blissfully happy," I say. When Peanut starts whining, we both look toward her bassinet. I wonder momentarily if we woke her and she'll go back to sleep on her own or if she needs me. When she only gets louder, Tobias and I get out of bed. He picks her up but she doesn't quiet down.
"She needs her diaper changed," he says, taking her into the nursery. I follow him and watch him with her from the doorway. Every time I see him with our kids, I fall in love just a little more. "Do you think she's hungry?" He picks her up and brings her to me. She's fussy but I doubt that she's hungry. It's not time. He very gently lays her in my arms, and she immediately quiets down and starts cooing.
"Did you just want your mommy, Peanut?" I ask. "You're going to make your daddy jealous if you keep this up." She stops cooing, stares up at me then smiles a wide toothless grin.
"She has your smile," Tobias says, awed. "I never thought she could be more beautiful but I was wrong. You look just like your beautiful mommy, Peanut." He kisses my temple then I turn my head, seeking his lips. He kisses me for a moment until she starts fussing in my arms again. "You don't want Daddy kissing Mommy either? You're just like your brother." At the mention of our son, we look at the clock. "I've got to go."
"We're going to lie down," I say, hoping to sneak in another hour of sleep before what's sure to be a hectic evening. Tobias kisses me again then Peanut's head before he hurries out the door. I lie down on the bed beside Teagan. I expect her to fall back to sleep but instead she smiles at me from time to time. "Did you learn a new trick and want to show off?" I run my hand over her head until her eyelids start to droop. Instead of closing mine, I gaze down at her. Tobias is right, she's beginning to look more and more like me, and she truly is beautiful. I imagine it's the amount of Tobias in her that does that.
I hear a commotion on the stairs and know that Tyler will be joining us any second. I raise my head and put my finger over my lips, telling him to be quiet, and he stops running and exaggeratedly tiptoes to the bed. I chuckle under my breath as he struggles to climb up onto the mattress. When he finally settles in beside his sister, he kisses her head.
"Hi, Mommy," he whispers.
"Hi, buddy," I quietly say. "Where's Daddy and Tessa?"
"They coming," he says, pointing toward the door just as Tobias comes into view carrying in his arms our little one who is sound asleep.
"Do you know what, Tyler?" He looks back at me as Tobias goes into the nursery. "Teagan smiled today."
"She did?" he excitedly says. "She smile at me like Tess?"
"I bet she'll be smiling at you all the time pretty soon," I say. "Did Daddy tell you we're having friends over tonight for supper?" I sit up on the bed and pick up Peanut who just started whining. I draw her over my arm and rub her back. I don't know why but this calms her every time.
"Look, she smiling," Tyler says, getting his face in hers. I carefully move my arm and sure enough, she has a big grin on her face.
"She's having a happy dream," I say. Tobias comes back into the room, holding Tessa against his chest and sits down on the bed with us. I can tell she's on the verge of waking up and that she's hungry because she's sucking at the air.
"I changed her diaper and she didn't wake up," he says, very proud of himself. I look at my family who's gathered around me on the bed and a warm, fuzzy feeling envelopes me. I think I love these little moments the most of all. I watch as Tessa opens her eyes only to close them again. This goes on for a full five minutes before she keeps her peepers open.
"Hi, Tess," Tyler says as he kisses her cheek. She grabs at his hair but thankfully doesn't get a strong hold before he moves away. She whines loudly then manages to grab her toes and stick them in her mouth.
"Look she got hew feet in hew mouth," Tyler says like it's the funniest thing he's ever seen. "You not 'pose to eat your feet, Tess." She jabber around her toes back at him.
"You did the same thing at her age," Tobias says. "All babies do."
"I did?" he asks, his eyes widening and then he wrinkles his nose in disgust. "That's yucky."
"No, it's not," I say. I look at Tobias and ask, "Do you want to trade?" He smiles then gets up off the bed. He sits Tessa in my lap then very carefully lifts Peanut off my arm. He puts her in the bassinet then lifts Tyler onto his shoulders.
"We're going to go make some iced tea and lemonade," he says.
"Have fun," I say as I put Tessa to my breast. "Did you have a good day, little one? Mommy and Daddy went to the Ferris wheel. I wish it hadn't been for business but we did learn a few things. That's why all our friends are coming over tonight. We need to warn them to watch their backs. We don't want anything to happen to anyone else because of us. If Mommy and Daddy are overprotective until we stop all this nonsense in Dauntless, it's just because we love you, your brother, and your sister more than anything else in this world, and keeping you safe is our number one priority. I think it's time we start looking for a nanny. How would you feel about that?" She stares back at me like she's hanging on my every word. "I know you don't understand any of this but it makes Mommy feel better when I tell you about it. I love you." She continues nursing until I put her up to my shoulder to burp.
"Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma," she chants then burps loudly.
"That was a very big burp, little one," I say. "Are Daddy and Tyler the ones who have taught you that?" She laughs and starts kicking as I put her to my other breast. "You are a silly, silly girl. You're starting to act more and more like Tyler. Is that because you've watched him for nearly six months and are copying his every move?" She smiles at me as she continues to nurse like she's confirming what I'm saying. "That's what I thought." Just as she's finishing up, Peanut starts whining from the bassinet. I get up and kick the bedroom door shut then put Tessa on the floor to explore while I feed Peanut. I watch her pull herself over to our full size mirror and play with the "baby" staring back at her. She squeals and coos then jabbers and laughs. A couple times she ducks her head down then peeks to see if the "baby" is still there looking at her then she giggles her head off. Silent laughter shakes my body and Peanut frowns up at me. She must not like all the jostling. When the mirror becomes boring, she starts to pull herself out of my sight. "Tessa? Can you come to Mommy?" She stops and looks my way. When she sees that I'm holding Peanut, she starts babbling and not in a very friendly manner. "You need to stop being jealous of your sister." She pulls herself to my feet then rolls onto her back and stares up at me. "Peanut's almost done then we'll go find your Daddy and brother." The door opens and Tobias comes in. When Tessa sees him, she starts kicking wildly and hollering for him.
"Are you done eating, little one?" he asks as he picks her up off the floor. She lays her head on his shoulder and peeks at me.
"Yes, she's still eating," I say, shaking my head. "Are we eating on the roof?"
"Yeah," he says. "There's definitely more space up there for everyone between the table and extra outdoor furniture."
"I doubt that she'll have to use it but can you take Peanut's swing up to the sunroom?" I say.
"Already done," he says. "Great minds think alike!" I glance at the time and see that our guests will be arriving any minute, and with that thought the doorbell rings.
"I'll take Tyler and Tessa with me," he says. "Take your time." When they leave the room, he closes the door behind him giving me privacy to finish nursing our little Peanut.
"Are you excited to meet everyone?" I ask. "There's going to be a lot of people who want to hold you so don't be scared. Mommy and Daddy both will be close by. Just holler really loud and one of us will check on you. I love you, Peanut. Sometimes I'm still dumbfounded that you're really actually here, my perfect little girl. They're all going to love you just as much as we do." I gaze at her as she finishes then take her into the nursery and put her in a clean diaper. I send Tobias a quick text asking if I should put the girls in heavier outfits but he doesn't answer. I'm about ready to leave the nursery when I hear our bedroom door open. "So what do you think?"
"I'm super jealous of your apartment," Christina says. She walks into the room holding Tessa.
"I thought you were Four," I say.
"I have to say I don't get that very often," she says with a chuckle and I join her while I shake my head. "Actually he sent me up here to tell you that warmer clothes would be great. It's too bad though, they look pretty snazzy right now in those cute little matching outfits." She's right. They are adorable.
"How about I replace the skirts with black pants, and they both have black sweaters," I say. "Will you watch Teagan while I get the clothes?"
"Sure," she says. I leave Peanut on the changing table with Christina fawning over her and quickly get each of the girls a pair of pants and a sweater. After changing them both, I follow Christina out of the room. When we step out into the hallway, we follow the sound of laughter and conversation up to the rooftop deck where people are everywhere. The minute they see me with Peanut in my arms, I'm surrounded. I hand her over to Shauna and watch as Lynn and Marlene take Tessa from Christina. I look around for Tyler and see him sitting on Uriah's lap but thankfully, for both their sakes, there is no cake around. I sit down on one of the large grouping of rattan couches that match the dining table set next to Christina. It's nice to have my friends over.
"Pizza's here," Zeke calls out as he and Tobias exit the sunroom, each carrying stacks of pizza boxes. They put them down on the dining room table and everyone converges on the food but I stay where I am. A moment later Tobias breaks out of the crowd and brings me a plate with two slices of Canadian bacon and pineapple.
"Thank you," I say. "Where are our children?"
"Tyler's sitting at the table with Zane eating a slice of pepperoni, Stella has Tessa, and Ciara has Peanut."
"Why do you call Teagan Peanut?" Will asks. Tobias and I smile at one another.
"The day we found out Tris was pregnant, we both thought she looked like a peanut on the ultrasound," Tobias says. "We've called her Peanut ever since."
"We call her Peanut more than we call her Teagan," I say.
"I think she wants her Mommy," Stella says. I put the plate on the table next to me then she lays Peanut in my arms. She goes from fussy to content in an instant.
"I think someone might be a tad bit spoiled," Zander chuckles.
"Oh, she's not spoiled," I say. "She just loves her Mommy."
"Yeah, she does," Tobias says. "Should I put her in the swing so you can eat?"
"No, I'll keep her," I say.
"Okay," he says. "I'm going to talk to the guys. Are you okay?"
"Can you get me a drink before you go, please?" I ask.
"Sure," he says. When he walks away I notice all my friends are grinning at me.
"What's that look at?" I ask.
"Are you sure that's Four?" Marlene asks. "He seems too tame."
"He's not that tame," I say.
"Ugh! We don't want to hear about your sex life," Lynn says.
"Hey, hey," Stella say. "Watch it. There are children present."
"I don't think Teagan and Tessa can understand what we're talking about," Shauna says, looking down at the infant in her lap who is chewing contentedly on her purple butterfly.
"I wasn't talking about the babies," Stella says with a roll of her eyes. "I'm talking about my kids." She looks behind her and not six feet away sits Gavin, Sadine, Nash, and Nya all laughing and eating pizza. Zane must still be with Tyler and Uriah.
"They're not listening to us," Ciara says.
"You'll learn sooner than later that that's just not true," I quietly say. "Little ears hear everything. You think they're doing their own thing but they're not." Everyone's eyes slide to the kids who look like they're ignoring us. "How are you feeling by the way?"
"I feel fantastic," she says, rubbing her small bump, which is getting bigger by the day. "As a matter of fact, I've never been better."
"I remember the second trimester," Christina says with a silly grin on her face and I nod in agreement, "but I'll keep the conversation rated PG, promise."
"So, Ciara, why won't you tell us if it's a boy or a girl?" Ella whines. I haven't been around my friends for a month, and they are having the exact same conversation. James and Ciara learned the sex of their baby but decided to keep it to themselves and it's driving everyone crazy, especially Ella. "Aren't I your best friend?"
"Ella, how many times do I have to tell you that James and I want to keep it to ourselves? It doesn't mean that I don't love you."
"Are you giving my wife a hard time again?" James calls out from under the trellis.
"No," Ella says. "I just asked a question."
"We're not telling you if the baby is a boy or a girl," he says shaking his head. "You'll find out with everyone else after he … or she is born." For a split second I think he slipped up but then a slightly evil grin appears on his face, and we all know he said that on purpose to torture Ella.
"Sometimes I hate you," she says, crossing her arms across her chest, pouting.
"You'll get over it," Ciara says. "You only have 12 more weeks to wait. Think of how I feel."
"Have there been any developments on where Tori is?" Christina asks as she burps Liam. Her question attracts the attention of the guys and they all gather around us.
"Mommy, can Zane and me go to my woom?" Tyler asks. "Peas!"
"We wanna go, too," Sadine says as Nash and Nya stand beside her nodding their heads in agreement.
"Please!" they all say in unison.
"Yes, you can play in your room," I say. "Just be careful."
"Gavin, please go with them and make sure everyone behaves," Zander says. "You can play your game down there."
"Okay, Dad," he says.
"Thank you, Mommy!" Tyler says stopping to hug me before he leads his friends to the stairs.
"Now we can speak candidly," Zander says. "What's the update on Tori?"
"We've thoroughly searched 75% of the compound and found no leads," Will says. "Tris made a comment that got me thinking so I did a little experimenting this afternoon."
"What was that?" Zeke asks.
"Why would every camera in the city be down for only 4½ minutes? That's an odd but very specific amount of time. I think this is the key to finding her," he says. "We all know that gives a person ample time to cover their tracks but just how far can you get. I went to different places she could have disappeared from … her apartment, his apartment, the tattoo parlor, the Pit, her office … and timed myself with my phone to see exactly where I ended up, and I think I have a lead. If she went missing from her apartment, it takes roughly 4 minutes and 15 seconds to get from this hallway to the garage."
"But there's cameras in the garage," James says. "We looked, there was no sign of her."
"If she's a victim, she could have been placed into the trunk of a car. If she's an accomplice she could have been hiding in the back seat," Will says. "Approximately 12 seconds after the cameras came back online, a dark sedan is seen pulling out of the garage. It has darkly tinted windows. I could make out a driver but not a face. I went to the garage after I found the footage, and it's not there. In my opinion, find the car, find Tori."
"Do you think she's behind all this?" Marlene asks. Uriah lays his hand comfortingly on her shoulder and squeezes lightly.
"Behind what's going on? No, not at all," Tobias says. "Involved? We don't know. I hope not. But this leads us to why we invited you all over. Without giving away any confidential information, we know who's behind these attacks, Molly Atwood. We don't know her exact motivation but after talking to her multiple times over the past few months, it is our belief that she wants revenge for Peter Hayes' death."
"Why would she want revenge for that asshole?" Marlene asks with a snarl on her face.
"We found out that Molly, Drew, and Peter are family after going through Candor transfer files, and we confirmed it with Jack Kang," I say.
"She's told us that she blames us for his death, and Tris and I think she's taking it out on our friends," Tobias says. "I want you all to be careful. Because each of you are our friends, you have a target on your back. We don't want anyone else getting hurt."
"Or worse," I say, finishing his sentence.
"Don't worry about us, guys," Zeke says. "We're tough. We can take care of ourselves."
"I'm sure Harrison and Frankie thought the same thing," Tobias says. Everyone goes quiet and the sound of crickets cloak us.
"Okay, that's enough depressing shit," Uriah says. "We all promise to watch our backs and each other's. Now let's not talk about this the rest of the evening. I'm tired of living in an insane asylum."
"How about a fire?" Tobias says.
"I'm going to go check on the kids," I say. "Ella, would you like to hold Teagan?"
"Yes," she says, bouncing excitedly up and down in her seat. I get up and carefully give her to my friend then excuse myself. I go inside and down the spiral staircase and stop in the doorway of Tyler's room. Gavin is sitting on his bed with his nose stuck in his game while the other five are taking turns on the slide and swing. I'm surprised there's no yelling.
"Hi, Mrs. Four," Nash says when he sees me standing here.
"Hi, Mommy!" Tyler's hand juts out the opening in his fort and waves at me.
"Are you kids having fun?" I ask. A chorus of yeses fill the room. "Uriah is getting ready to cut the cake if you want some or you can roast some marshmallows and make some s'mores." I've yet to have one but Hana, Zeke, and Uriah told me all about them a while ago, and I'm looking forward to eating one or two tonight.
"Alwight! Cake!" Tyler says as he uses the slide then comes running at me. His eyes widen just before he reaches me then he hangs his head, and I can tell he's pouting.
"What's wrong?" I ask as the other kids file past us and head to the roof. I take his hand and lead him to the bed. I sit down and pull him onto my lap. He buries his head in my chest, and I can hear him sniffling. "Hey, why the tears? What's wrong, my sweet boy?"
"I fowget about you ouchie," he says, his bottom lip quivering. "I almost hugged you tight." I wrap my arms around him and kiss his head.
"You can hug me as tight as you want right now." He grips me tightly, and I rub his back lovingly and kiss his head. I jumped on a train twice today. I should be able to carry my son. I take a deep breath and stand up. Nothing hurts so I carry him out of his room, up the stairs, then I sit back down on the couch across from the lit fire.
"You shouldn't be carrying him," Tobias quietly says as he sits down next to me with Peanut in his arms.
"It's alright," I say. "I won't make a habit of it but he needed me. Buddy, do you want some cake or do you want to make a s'more?" He leans back and looks at me and his red-rimmed eyes tug at my heart. I kiss a stray tear away, and he finally smiles.
"Can I have both?" he asks.
"That's too much sugar this close to bedtime," Tobias says. "You can have a slice of cake or a s'more."
"I want a 'mowe," he says.
"Why don't I help you with the marshmallows," Tobias says. "Mommy, can take Peanut."
"No," he whines.
I lean over and whisper in his ear, "Mommy needs to feed her. She's hungry."
"Otay," he says as he gets down off my lap after a final big bear hug.
"How did you do that?" Tobias asks as he puts Peanut in my arms.
"He loves his sister," I say. "He doesn't want her hungry." I grab the blanket off the back of the couch and cover Peanut's head then put her to my breast. I look around for Tessa and find her sitting on Marlene's lap staring at Uriah's cake. One day soon she's going to want dessert, too.
We spend the next hour roasting marshmallows, eating s'mores, talking, and laughing. It's nice to just sit around with our friends, relaxing. Just before Peanut finishes nursing, Tessa decides that she's hungry, too, so Tobias gets her a bottle and Shauna volunteers to feed her. Or I should say she's the first one to volunteer. My friends keep fighting over my kids. We talk about everything under the sun except for Dauntless' problems and the fact that Tori is still missing. That subject is too painful for all of us.
"That was fun," Tobias says after closing the door behind our final guest.
"It was," I say with a yawn. Our field trip wore me out. "I think I'm going to take a bath after we clean up the mess upstairs."
"I'll clean up," he says. "You go ahead and take your bath."
"I won't argue with you," I say. I go up on my tiptoes for a quick kiss but when our lips meet our bodies take over. I wrap my arms around his neck as he lifts me straight up, causing butterflies to swarm in my tummy. He runs his tongue across my bottom lip then thrusts it into my mouth and tangles it with mine. When he sighs I smile against his lips. "I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not." We laugh together, and he kisses me again before sitting me back on my feet. "I love you."
"I love you more, Mrs. Eaton," he says as he tucks my hair behind my ears.
"That's impossible, Mr. Eaton," I say.
"Go take your bath," he says. "I want you to relax. It's been a long day."
"Alright," I say. I check on each child before I go into the bathroom and fill the tub. I strip out of my clothes then ease myself into the hot water after I put a few drops of coconut oil in it. I stretch my legs out and recline against the back then close my eyes as the hot, perfumed water stills around me. It's been such a long day, and it's bound to be a long night so I take advantage of the silence and succumb to the exhaustion.