Chapter 52: Hope you all enjoy. Thanks so much for all your lovely reviews on the last one. They are not as long or as good as I wanted but...I am a little busy and a bit rusty. Happy reading and remember, criticism welcome.
"My father? My dad?" I choked out. What? This doesn`t make any sense. What?
"That`s what he said sweetheart."
I sat up on the bed and pulled his bed sheet around me. Jacob put his arm around my shoulders and rubbed my upper arm soothingly.
"Why was he calling here? What did he say?" I questioned him. My dad. After all this time.
"He said he knew that he could find you here. He asked me if you were safe." Jacob sounded angry.
"What did you say?" I rounded on him. He looked pleased with himself as he smiled down at me.
"I told him that if he called here again or your house for that matter that I would hunt him down and...well...not kill him exactly but..."
"Jacob! Why in God`s name did you say that for?" I shouted, hopping off the bed and pacing the small floor space.
"Why? `Cause the jerk thinks that he can call you up after how many years and hurt you! And your mom too Sonia! Do you think that I`ll let that happen?" Jacob defended himself.
"Gosh Jacob! Did...did he...ask to speak with me?" Jacob furrowed his eyebrows at me.
"Yes. I told him to fuck off though once I knew who was calling." He scratched his head and rested his elbows on his knees. "Would you even want to talk to him?"
"I dunno. Yes. No. Maybe. Shit...why is he calling? Why now?"
"He left you Sonia. You and your mom." Jacob said quietly from the bed.
"He got sent to prison. He didn`t leave us by choice." I whispered. We locked eyes.
"He choose to do what he did. He didn`t even keep in contact with you."
"He was ashamed. He thought that he didn`t deserve us."
"Sonia...how can you even know that? I know that...growing up without one parent is hard but..."
"My mom told me that. If she said that he wasn`t totally bad you know...that he loved us...loved me..." I suddenly felt so unsure. Jacob hopped off the bed and cuddled me. "But you`re right. How can a father love his daughter if he never keeps in touch you know. He...he..." I felt the tears welling up but I fought them back. "Why is he calling? Why now? And here?"
"I`m not saying he doesn`t love you. And I don`t know why he`s calling here."
"He must be in touch with somebody here. That is the only way to explain it."
"But who would know I`m here now?" I pressed.
"Fuck knows." Jacob muttered.
"Someone close to us. Who knows about us."
"His folks are dead right?"
"Granddad lives on the Spokane rez out east. His mom died when he was little." I hugged my arms around myself. There was something going on. Something we didn`t know about.
"Somebody then. Your mom maybe?" I fixed Jacob with a 'are you kidding me' stare. "Okay not your mom then. Do you want me to try and call the number back?" I thought about that for a while.
"No...no don`t bother."
"I`m sorry. I should have asked you first if you wanted to talk to him."
"You`re right. You should have. But I understand that you were just looking out for me. It would have been weird anyway."
I sat down at his desk and he sat back down on the bed. We both didn`t speak for a long time. Something new to add to the mix now. My dad calling my imprinters house. Knowing that I would be there. There was more to that than meets the eye that is for sure. He must be in contact with somebody here. Someone who know about my relationship with Jacob. Someone close to us. My mom? Could she have told him? Somehow I doubted it. One of the elders maybe? An old friend?
And why now? To make sure I was safe? Asking a person he shouldn`t know anything about that I was safe. He must know something. Maybe...maybe Mr. McBride found him and told him! No...no Sonia. Why would Mr. McBride seek out my estranged dad to tell him about me? That`s dumb. Real dumb.
"It`s getting late Sonia. Your mom is probably wondering when you`re getting back home."
"I should get back then." I didn`t want to go. I wanted to stay with him. When I got up I let the sheet drop to the floor and stood in front of Jacob totally naked. "You can stay with me tonight if you want." I offered. I saw Jacob`s penis harden and twitch and an emotion I couldn`t quite put my finger on came over me, making me feel a little scared.
"I`ll stay...if you say that you are my girlfriend again." He said in a husky voice, making me feel even worse.
"That`s blackmail." I scanned the room for my panties. Spotting them on the floor I grabbed them and hastened to pull them up.
"And what do you call what you are doing?" Jacob asked playfully, stopping me from pulling them up any farther.
"Getting dressed." I retorted. Jacob smiled and kissed my bellybutton before pulling up my panties the rest of the way.
"I`ll stay with you if you want. I think your mom`s on to us though." He got up and pulled on his boxers.
"She knows but she doesn`t say anything. She`s not going to."
"Cool. So now I can sneak into your bed more often then."
"I like having you sleep next to me. It makes me feel..." I was going to say safer but I bit my tongue. It was true. Whenever Jacob slept over I didn`t have the nightmares. Not intense ones anyways. The same for Kim. Her and Jared were almost back to the way they were before. She said her nightmares had toned down a lot too.
"..makes you feel like you want me back as your boyfriend?" Jacob asked hopefully. "I mean...we back to sleeping with each other again you know. I won`t hurt you again. I swear it. Can you let me back in Sonia?" I felt my heart tug at his words but something deep inside of me was telling me that this was not the right time. I shouldn`t have slept with him. It was wrong of me. Whenever I felt overwhelmed with things I ran to Jacob for comfort. Comfort meaning opening my legs for him.
"I`m...I`m sorry for...leading you on but...now isn`t the best time for me...or for you." I replied pathetically. Jacob`s face twisted in anger for a couple of seconds before he turned away and put on his jeans and a shirt. "I`m sorry." I whispered to his back.
"Stop saying you`re sorry!" He snapped, putting on his socks and trainers. I felt horribly foolish just standing there in my undies. Jacob left the room, slamming the door behind him. Great. Perfect. I scrambled into my damp clothes and followed him out. He was waiting at the door with his keys clutched in his hand.
"Jacob." I started but he made a beeline for his bike and left me following me him like a moron.
"Jacob! Wait up! Please!" I pulled at his arm to get him to acknowledge me.
"I thought you wanted to head back home?"
"Listen...please...you didn`t get what I was trying to say!" I begged.
"I got it. I told you, before I left for the battle, that I wanted more from you than just sex. It seems that sex is all you want from me."
"It isn`t! Please...you know it isn`t!"
"Come on! I thought...I thought everything I was doing...would prove to you that I was serious about you now." He looked so unsure. I was unsure.
"I know you`re serious about me." I muttered.
"What more do I need to do?" He complained like a child.
"You don`t need to do any more. I`m just not ready."
"You`re were all ready spreading your legs not an hour ago."
"I`m not ready emotionally."
"It will work out Sonia. You know it will."
"I don`t want to hurt you."
"How can you? You...love me right?" He looked scared. "Don`t you?"
"How can you even ask me that? You know I love you."
"Like before? The same?"
"I love you more than before." I admitted. "I don`t want to hurt you like...Kim hurt Jared. I don`t want to have that type of intense emotional relationship with you and have to keep something huge from you. It will make it worse Jacob."
"Maybe it will make you stronger?" Jacob said tenderly. "You said it right? We are stronger together."
"Do you know how much I want to say yes? I can`t though. Not until I sort this out."
"What will be the problem of getting back with me?"
"I can`t explain it Jacob. It`s just a feeling."
"Okay...okay then. Come on. Lets go." He handed me the helmet and straddled the bike. "Come on. It`s going to rain again. You might catch a cold." He started the ignition and waited for me to get on after him.
"Are you angry with me?" I asked. Still standing where I was with the helmet in my hands. Jacob raised his eyes to meet mine. They were angry, and guarded. He shook his head.
"No. I`m sorry if you think that." He lied. I nodded my head and put on the helmet and climbed on after him.
The smell was overpowering, too much...I didn`t like it...I don`t like being here. Why does it always take me here? The raccoon made another noise in front of me in the darkness...why here? I could feel the slime covering the rocks...I could smell the damp in the air...a heavy, suffocating smell. Why was I here?
"He won`t save you Sonia..." His voice echoed came from all around me. "He won`t want to."
"He loves me...I`m his imprint!" I shouted into the darkness. Laughter rang. Horrible...taunting...
"There will be another who he will love more. Another who he will have no problem leaving you for." More laughter. More of that fowl smell.
"LIAR!" I screamed into the darkness. "LIAR!" The laughter became louder before it stopped altogether.
"You put too much store by the imprint. But in reality beautiful one, it means nothing. Not when it comes to you and him. You should kill yourself now you know. It will spare you the pain of having him torn from you in the future. So simple child. It`s like going to sleep..."
"Stop it! STOP IT!" I screamed again.
"He won`t care...he`ll laugh in your face while you`re begging him to stay...he`ll leave...and you will never see him again...or you might...when he lets her feast on you perhaps..."
"STOP! STOP IT! STOP IT!"
"Sonia! Sonia!" I still heard the laughter ringing in my ears.
"Noooo...NO!" I was crushed against something awfully warm. I was being rocked. What the...
"Sssush, ssush, it`s okay...I`m here. Nothing will hurt you." Jacob? Was that him?
"Leave me alone..." I wailed, trying to free myself from his unrelenting hold on me. He loosened up a little but still didn`t let go.
"No Sonia. It`s okay. You`re okay. Calm down."
"I am calm. I`m calm okay. Please...I need water." With that Jacob let me go and I got out of my bed and away from him like he was on fire or some shit. I stumbled into the kitchen and drank two glasses of water. Shivering and sweating at the same time I clutched the edge of the sink.
What the fuck was that dream all about? Jesus...I could still smell that place...I could still feel his presence around me. I took deep, steadying breaths and willed my heartbeat to go slower. The stuff he said though...I knew I shouldn`t believe it but...
"Sonia?" Jacob whispered from the doorway. He sounded scared himself.
"Yes?" I asked in a shaky voice.
"You wanna talk about what you dreamed about?"
"No...no I don`t want to talk about it." I spotted my mom`s cigarettes on the counter. Grabbing them I took one out and lit it with a shaking hand. Jacob hated smoking, especially when I did it but...
"Sonia...this was the worst one yet..."
"How could you know that?" I challenged. He was right though. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.
"I could feel it." He came up behind me and held me tight in his arms. "You`re scaring me. This is scaring me."
"It scares me too." I felt the tears overflow and trickle down my cheeks. Jacob turned me around to face him.
"We can leave here then. Go somewhere. Anywhere. I`ll keep you safe."
That sounded so tempting. We could go. We could leave. I had my savings. We could find work. We could live a normal life couldn`t we? All we needed was each other. Only me and him. Forget about everything. About our lives here. Our history here. We could get married. I could have his babies. Babies that looked like him and me but cuter. I could picture them. Beautiful. Happy.
"No." I shook my head. "I`m not leaving here."
"It`s your choice."
"It`s our choice. We can`t leave here. La Push needs us! Needs you! What would happen if we..."
"Sonia...Jacob..." My mom appeared in the kitchen doorway looking absolutely furious.
"Mom! I..."
"I should be in bed sleeping? Not arguing in the kitchen with my boyfriend right? Do you know what fucking time it is? I have to be up for work in three hours!"
"Sorry mom."
"She had another one of those dreams." Jacob rushed to tell her. "If you even care." He said caustically. Wow! Hold up there!
"Don`t talk to my mom that way!" I snarled.
"Sonia! I can defend myself! Jacob Black, don`t you dare use that tone of voice with me again! Understood?"
"If you cared you would let her tell me what`s going on!" He shouted furiously.
"Get out of this house!" Mom advanced on him with a face like thunder. "Don`t let me see you back here again until you come with a damn good apology. OUT!"
"Sonia?" Jacob questioned, turning to me.
"Just leave Jacob. We`ll talk tomorrow."
He looked like he wanted to punch something as he stalked out of the kitchen. I jumped as he slammed the door behind him. My mom took my cigarette from me and took a drag.
"Another dream then." She stated, looking out the window.
"Another one." I sat down at the kitchen table. I was utterly exhausted.
"What about?" She asked.
"He...he said Jacob would leave me...or some shit like that." I whispered.
"Do you believe that?" My mom handed back the cigarette. I took a long drag.
"To be honest...I can`t shake the feeling that he will. That something will big will happen."
"The two of you were meant to be remember." Mom smoothed my hair. "Don`t ever forget that. No matter what happens Sonia. Don`t ever stop believing that. That`s the truth you need to keep in your heart."
"What do you know mom? About this?"
"Your grandmother knew something. She was going to tell me but...she never got round to."
"And dad calling up today as well? You knew nothing about that?"
"I swear. I didn`t know baby girl."
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